"What happened to Goldielocks?" Zoe asked, tapping gently on the glass of the fishbowl as her fish floated belly up near the top. Thea sighed and pulled her little sister away from the bowl as she pulled up her shirt sleeve and reached in to grab the fish.

"He's dead, sweetie," she said.

"What's that mean?" Zoe asked.

"It means he isn't alive anymore, and he's gone to Fishy Heaven," Thea replied, as she walked Goldielocks over to the sink and put him in an old piece of tupperware. Zoe watched intently as her sister lovingly carried the tupperware out to the backyard and grabbed a spade, kneeling down and digging a small hole in the dirt. Zoe leaned down beside her as she continued, saying, "that's what happens when things die, they no longer exist among us and they go away."

"Am I going to die?" Zoe asked.

"Not for a very very very long time," Thea said, rubbing Zoe's back and handing her the tupperware, "You wanna put Goldielocks in his grave?"

Zoe nodded and carefully placed the tupperware into the hole Thea had dug. As she watched Thea cover it back up with dirt, Zoe wanted to cry, but she didn't understand what it was exactly she was crying about. She'd never been this close to death before, she didn't really understand what she was dealing with, and yet it made her immeasurably sad inside. Thea kissed her sisters head and patted her back.

"I'm sure Goldielocks appreciated all the love you gave him, that we both gave him, and I'm sure he's okay wherever he is now," Thea said, "Come on, let's finish making you lunch for school."

Zoe never expected to be that near death again, but she was, repeatedly. First she had to witness her hero get nearly mauled to death by her own tiger, and now here she was, sitting on the couch in said heroes suite, staring at the drug dealer she'd just killed. Zoe couldn't believe this, she once again felt sick. Allie paced back and forth, finally putting an old unwanted sheet over Sunny's body to cover him up, and then stopped and looked at Zoe.

"You okay?" Allie asked, "He was going to try and get you interested in drugs, I...I couldn't let him do to you what he did to me."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe you were just more weak willed than I am and I would've been able to say no?" Zoe asked.

"...I...I wouldn't trust him to take that no seriously," Allie said, "he was pushy, he was arrogant. He wasn't a total outright jerk, but...but he could make a person wanna do something, and I was...I was just trying to protect you, Zoe. Now there's blood all over my floor and I don't know how to clean this sort of thing up."

Allie looked at Zoe, who at that moment keeled over and vomited on the floor in front of her.

"...or that," Allie said.

"Sorry," Zoe said, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

                                                                            ***

While Allie spent the day in her suite trying to come up with a way to get rid of Sunny's body, she suggested Zoe go down to the bar and relax, play some slots or get some food. She even gave Zoe her Casino Card, so she could charge it all to her. So Zoe put on her jacket and headed down to the main casino floor. As she stood at the bar, waiting for her soda, she felt a hand clasp her shoulder.

"Hey there!" Effie said, coming around her side and seating herself, "You okay? You don't look too good."

"Stayed up too late, threw up a few minutes ago, just a sick sort of day I guess," Zoe said, making Effie smile.

"I'm sorry," Effie replied, rubbing Zoe's arm, "Well, if you need anything, just let me know."

"Allie's already given me her card for the casino so I can get whatever I want or need," Zoe said, "I'll probably have something to eat and then just go back to bed."

"That's pretty nice of her," Effie said as she pulled her metal cigarette case from inside her jacket and slid one out, lighting it and popping it in her mouth, "but I'm sure once the new casino gets going, you'll get your own card, if you're gonna be a major part of her act. Things seem to have been going fairly well for you guys lately, show wise, so I'm sure Tony is planning to swap y'all over to the second location."

"...second...second location?" Zoe asked as her drink was finally placed in front of her; she adjusted the straw and took a few sips as Effie nodded and explained.

"Yeah, Tony told me about a week ago that he's planning on opening a new casino," she said, "A second Card Shark, over in the classier area of the Vegas strip."

"There's a classier area of Vegas?" Zoe asked, making Effie laugh out loud.

"That was my reaction!" she said loudly, "Anyway, since you guys are doing so well, I'm sure that you'll be brought along to the nicer one. I know I've already secured my spot, so you guys should be a shoe in. He just is having an architect make up some plans for him first, because he wasn't a huge fan of the way this one was designed."

Zoe's brain was running a mile a minute.

"Who is this new architect?" she asked, and Effie shrugged.

"Don't know their name, just know it's the same person who did Ceaser's Ghost," Effie replied.

And like a bullet, Zoe was gone.

                                                                              ***

Zoe and Allie were seated in Allie's car, across the street from a very small but nice looking home in a quiet and clean neighborhood just outside the strip. Allie sipped her coffee and looked at Zoe, who was elbow deep into a bag of chips, shoveling them into her mouth with a kind of reckless abandon.

"How do you just...become friends with someone?" Allie asked, "Isn't it going to be weird, that we just showed up and wanted to know her?"

"You became friends with me," Zoe said through a mouthful of chips.

"Only because friendship was thrusted upon me," Allie replied, chuckling, "but yes, I suppose I did, in the end. We can't just go and dump his body at the site. They're going to do a lot of digging up and reconfiguring of the area before they even begin to build, so we have to hold onto him for a while, and even once they start building, anything we place in there will seem out of place."

"...maybe we should hide him in The Forgotten Tomb," Zoe said, making Allie's eyebrows arch; Zoe sighed and rolled her eyes, continuing, "You don't even remember your own tricks, do you? The Forgotten Tomb? The big gaudy sarcophagus that you used to do disappearing acts in? Remember? You'd go inside, it'd be buried, and then you'd come out in a second one that wasn't buried?"

"Oooh, yeah. Geez, that thing's been in storage forever," Allie said, sipping her coffee, "but we'd need to actually bury it for good."

"Exactly. And nobody would ever question it because, oh, gee, it's just a prop," Zoe said, "It wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for it to be underground."

"...wow, you're a criminal," Allie said.

"Yeah why do you think my parents don't talk to me."

This got Allie's attention, but it would have to wait. The front door opened and a meek, awkward young woman stepped outside to water her flowers. Allie and Zoe looked at one another, nodded, and got out of the car. As they headed across the street and up the driveway, Zoe whispered.

"What are you gonna say to her?"

"I have no idea," Allie replied, "Just let me do the talking. Hey! Hi there!"

The woman looked up, somewhat frightened, but relaxed a bit when she saw it was just two other women approaching her.

"Hi," she said in a very quiet voice, "Uh...I don't...I don't wanna buy anything and I'm happy with my religion."

"Hah, no, no we're not, uh...we're from the Card Shark," Allie said, "I'm its resident magician, and this is my partner in show business. I'm Allie, she's Zoe. We just...we heard about the new casino being built soon and we had seen the work you'd done on Ceaser's Ghost and we, well, we were big fans of what you did so we wanted to meet you before you started on this one."

"Oh," the woman said, standing up now, a small smile forming on her face, "Well, th...thank you. Would you like to come inside?"

As she turned and headed up the porch stairs and indoors, Zoe looked at Allie in amazement.

"Wow you're a good liar," she said quietly.

"I'm a magician, my entire career is based on lies," Allie remarked as they followed the architect inside.

The inside of the architects home was super minimal, and yet very chic. She had hanging plants, unique pieces of art on the walls and very nice furniture. Allie gazed around in wonder at how this lady was able to live so well just from designing buildings. She leaned closer to Zoe and lowered her voice as they headed into the kitchen.

"I think I'm in the wrong career field," she whispered, making Zoe laugh a little.

"Please, have a seat," the architect said, "My name is Molly. It's nice to meet you guys. Would you like some coffee?"

"I had some on the way over, but I'm always interested in more," Allie said.

"I'll have some, yes, thank you," Zoe remarked.

Molly poured the women their drinks, and then put their mugs in front of them before seating herself down at the table with them. There was a plate of sugar cookies on the table and Zoe looked at them for a moment, before Molly told them to help themselves, which they did, happily.

"So," Allie said between chewing, "When's construction supposed to start on this new casino?"

"Well I have to go out there first and ensure the land is actually viable to be built upon, but I'm sure it will be. After that then I draw up some plans and show them to Tony, and then we get the show on the road," Molly said, her voice very soft and velvety, as she added, "So...maybe...three weeks before we begin actual construction? Should be finished in about 4 months. The way I design things is to maximize space without taking too long in production."

"Wow, that's really cool," Zoe said, "Seems like most things take forever to be built."

"That's why people come to me," Molly said, picking up a cookie for herself, "It's my specialty."

"So you think Tony's going to be having some sort of special opening ceremony or something?" Allie asked, and Molly shrugged.

"You know him better than I do," she said, "though, in my experience, yes. Most club owners want their places to open with flourish, so it's highly likely he'll host some kind of enormous opening party or event."

Allie and Zoe exchanged a look, and they knew then and there they would be alright.

                                                                              ***

"All we have to do is do the same trick," Allie said, "but instead, we put him in the second sarcophagus and me in the one we're making people think we're burying, then we swap them somehow, so he and his gets buried forever while the one I'm in gets brought back up."

"We could use smoke to obscure everyone's vision while we switch them," Zoe said, and Allie shook her head.

"Smoke is too obvious, it's long since been recognized as a misdirect," Allie replied.

"Dude, we're not trying to wow people, we're trying to cover up a murder," Zoe said, making Allie chuckle.

"Okay, fair enough," she said, "but...I don't know. Maybe I should just pay my dues. He was a drug dealer, maybe I won't get too harsh a sentence, especially with my fame, and-"

"I'm not letting you go to prison," Zoe said through her clenched teeth, "you're my only friend and I'm not letting you go away because you were trying to protect me. The only other person who's tried to protect is has been my sister, and I won't let anything happen to you just like I won't let anything happen to her, okay?"

"O...okay," Allie whispered, rubbing Zoe's back, "It's okay, we'll make this work somehow, I'm sorry."

Allie didn't speak for the rest of the drive home.

                                                                             ***

Standing in the doorway, watching Zoe unpack and fix up her bedroom, Thea couldn't help but feel weird. Here she'd thrown herself at the mercy of their folks, and taken Zoe into her own home, and yet she felt like perhaps their parents were oddly right in some way. Like Zoe hadn't tried hard enough. Like Zoe had made one too many mistakes. But...but she couldn't just let them cut her loose. She was her baby sister, and she had to be there for her.

"You think you'll do well here?" Thea asked as Zoe sat on the bed and plugged her landline in on the bedside table.

"Yep. I'm gonna get a job and I'm gonna get my own place and I'll never have to talk to mom and dad again," Zoe said giddily.

"You know, if things get better, if you get better, then you won't have to cut them out of your life entirely. Though, I completely understand wanting to, believe me. They're nothing if not impossible to deal with. I think some people just weren't meant to be parents."

"Thank you for letting me live with you," Zoe said as Thea walked inside and sat on the bed; she fiddled with the cord of the phone and smiled weakly, adding, "you've always been there for me. You've always been the one to look out for me, and I'm so grateful you're my sister."

Thea smiled and hugged Zoe tightly.

"I'm grateful to get to be your sister," she replied softly.

A few months later, after a handful of failed attempts at odd jobs around the city and on the verge of total emotional collapse, Zoe wound up impressing Tony the same way Allie had so many years before, and it was then that Tony's plan was hatched to get Allie to clean her mess up. He'd give her a partner. He'd give her something to worry about beside herself, and that would keep her out of trouble.

Oh how fucking wrong he'd be.

                                                                            ***

Allie couldn't sleep that night.

She tossed and turned, she groaned and took sleep aide after sleep aide but nothing seemed to work. She just couldn't handle it. All she could see when she shut her eyes was that moment of Sunny breaking his neck over and over and over again, forever played on repeat on the inside of her eyelids. Finally she gave up and she picked up the phone, dialing.

"Hello?" Nick answered, chewing.

"You eating?"

"Yeah, I took in some Italian food from the catering place," Nick said, "What's going on?"

"...do you think I'm a bad person?" Allie asked, and Nick scoffed.

"Are you kidding me? You're the best person. That's why it hurt so much to see you do what you did to yourself," Nick said, "Come on Al, you're great, okay? You're the fucking Astounding Allie! No, of course I don't think you're a bad person. I think you have problems, but who doesn't, and at least yours are understandable considering what happened to you. You're not just self destructing for no reason. Not that that's an excuse, but it's at least an explanation."

"Will you come over?"

"Al, I don't-"

"No, not...not for anything weird, I just...I can't sleep, and I don't feel safe, and I don't wanna be alone," Allie said, "Please, Nick? We'll just watch TV and stuff. I just can't be alone tonight."

A pause, and Nick sighed.

"Alright, I'll be there shortly."

Meanwhile, Zoe was sitting downstairs at a slot machine, playing endlessly on a loop. She was barely even registering what she was doing anymore when she heard someone stop and stand beside her. Zoe looked and saw Effie standing there, smiling at her.

"Having fun?" she asked.

"Not really," Zoe said.

"...you ok?" Effie asked, "You seemed distant earlier, and you, well, you don't seem any better now and I'm just worried about you."

"What are you even doing down here so late?" Zoe asked, checking her watch.

"I had a late show, I just finished up," Effie said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder towards the theatre, before adding, "...you want to come to my place? You don't have to stay here and gamble the night away."

"...okay. I don't think I could go home tonight anyway," Zoe said, as she got up, gathered her things and followed Effie to her car outside.

                                                                                ***

"Wow," Zoe said upon entering the apartment loft, "This is swanky."

"Yeah, and I don't pay too much either," Effie said, "frankly I'm lucky to be in the position I'm in because if I wasn't a comedian I don't know what the fuck I'd be doing with my life, so I count my blessings every goddamn day, believe me."

Zoe stood at the bar separating the kitchenette from the living room and watched Effie get something to eat out of the fridge. She unwrapped a large foil container full of spare ribs before plopping them onto a plate and tossing them into the stove to reheat. She then turned and looked at Zoe, smiling.

"Hey, I eat a lot of leftovers," Effie said, "Work so late I don't really have time to cook, so."

"I can cook," Zoe blurted out, "I mean, like...if you wanted someone to cook, or something."

"Are you offering to make me dinner?" Effie asked, laughing.

"I don't know, this is new to me," Zoe said.

"What's new to you, exactly?"

"...everything. This life. Being in show business. Hanging out with celebrities. These...feelings," Zoe said, as Effie leaned on the counter and posted up, listening.

"Tell me about these feelings," she said quietly.

"I tried to ignore them," Zoe said, "but they're always there, just under the surface. You remind me of a girl I went to school with, and I think that's why it's easier to talk to you, cause, like, I'm already kind of familiar with you in a sense? Even though, you know, you're not the same people, or whatever. But...mom and dad were so...weird, so restrictive. They only took me to that show for my birthday because I begged them to, and even then I had to make a bunch of promises in order for them to agree."

"What kind of promises?" Effie asked.

"Do better in school, take better care of myself...stop talking to other girls," Zoe said, feeling embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," Effie said, "For what it's worth, my dad is an asshole about me, so I kind of know what it's like, but there's nothing to be ashamed of. Having spent time with you, you seem to be a really genuinely nice person who cares about your friends and your career and...and there's certainly no shame in being who you are."

Effie came around the bar and stood next to Zoe, who turned to face her.

"...I did something horrible," Zoe whispered, as Effie rubbed her fingers against Zoe's cheek.

"Then how about doing something better to counteract it?" she asked, as Zoe nodded.

Effie put one hand on Zoe's hip and pulled her closer, pushing her lips against hers and kissing her. Zoe had waited all her life to kiss another girl, and now that it was happening, she couldn't be happier. What a good end to a shitty day. After the kiss broke, Zoe looked at the couch.

"You're not gonna make me sleep out here, are you?" she asked.

"Not if you don't want to," Effie said, smirking.

"I'd like it if we could just...lay down, and just...I really wanna be held," Zoe said.

"I can do that for you," Effie whispered, pushing Zoe's bangs out of her eyes and leading her down the hallway towards the bedroom.

"What about your ribs?" Zoe asked.

"They'll be alright," Effie said, "you're more touch starved than hungry right now anyway it seems."

"Oh, that was cute," Zoe said, giggling.

"I make jokes for a living, this is what I do," Effie replied, shutting the bedroom door behind her.

                                                                             ***

"Do you ever regret being with me?" Allie asked, her head leaning on Nick's shoulder as she was swaddled up in a blanket on the couch, the both of them watching some awful cooking show on TV.

"Not really," Nick said.

"...I did something horrible," Allie whispered and Nick stroked her hair.

"It's fine," he said back softly, "We all do something horrible."

"Allie?" a voice asked, and then it repeated, "Allie? Yoo-hoo?"

Allie finally snapped out of it and looked up, remembering she was in AA. She sighed, scratched the back of her head and nodded.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "Uh, I've found it really hard to concentrate lately."

"That's okay," the man running the group, Michael, said with a smile, "Anything you'd like to share with us?"

"Uh...just that, it's been a few weeks now since I've stopped drinking, or taking anything, and I've been sleeping like shit and I haven't had much of an appetite, and I keep wondering if maybe my body was so used to what I was doing to it than it won't know how to survive without that input. Certainly I know that I theoretically am doing better, but...um...mentally, I just feel like I'm not there at all anymore, if that makes sense? My whole identity became so entangled with the substance abuses that I almost don't remember how to be the person I was without them."

Michael nodded, jotted something down and then looked back at her, indicating she could continue. Allie took a deep breath and looked around the room, at the others watching her, as she went on.

"I'm mostly doing this for a friend," she said, "...my only real friend, I guess, because I need to be sober in order to help her. Because she's the only one who really proves that she believes in me. I'm sick of letting down the people who say they believe in me."

"What do you do when you can't sleep?" a young woman sitting to the right asked, and Allie exhaled.

"Uh...watch TV or read or just try and pass the time any way that I can, really," Allie replied, "You know, it's weird, you don't realize how much it not only becomes a necessity but a hobby, or vice versa, until you've stopped. Only then do you kind of look back and recognize just how much time was spent on your substance abuse. Which makes sense, if it's all that kept you going, but then if it's all that kept you going...what do you do with yourself when it's gone? I guess that's, like, where I'm struggling the most."

Allie slumped back in her seat and let someone else speak, as she dug her nails into the knees of her jeans and chewed her bottom lip. A few weeks now without a sip of alcohol or any pills....god, it felt like a lifetime ago, and even though she knew it was better for her, she didn't know what to do with all her spare time other than focus on her magic, so that's what she decided to do.

                                                                              ***

"Well, I'm proud of you," Effie said, holding up a glass at the bar and clinking it against Allie's.

"Thank you," Allie said, before taking a sip of her soda, "yeah, it's been....an adjustment, that's for sure."

"But a welcome one, I would assume?"

"I guess, sure," Allie said, shrugging and glancing around, "I don't know, man, it's weird. Everything is weird. When you're sober you have to, like, actually see the world around you, and wonder how your life got to be this way. When you're fucked up all the time, it doesn't matter. The ordinary now has become the abnormal."

"Well," Effie said, lighting a cigar, "With any luck, your life could benefit from having less actual abnormality. You owned a tiger, for fucks sake, dude. I think you can manage being kinda boring for once."

Allie genuinely laughed at this, and appreciated having a stand up comedian being a close friend. They heard a chair scrape the floor beside Allie's stool, and saw Zoe seat herself.

"Hey kid, where you been?" Allie asked.

"I have been getting props for our upcoming show," Zoe said, "It's...uh, well, it's going to be good, is all I can say. I actually feel somewhat confident now that we've had a few smaller performances under our belt. You're lucky Tony pays for everything though, cause this stuff is expensive."

The bartender came and set yet another soda down in front of Zoe, which she happily thanked them for and started to sip. After a moment, she pushed her glasses up her face and sighed.

"It's weird, feeling, like, serene for a change," Zoe said, "For the first time in months I feel like nothing is going wrong. You almost get used to waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?"

"Absolutely, that's what being raised catholic is all about," Effie said, "like, something good happened so something bad is on the way. Everything's got a guilty price tag attached to it. Nothing can ever just be nice and happy. You always have to suffer for something you got that you wanted."

Allie laughed again and turned around in her stool while they talked, only to see Sunny standing by the slots a few feet away. Her drink caught in her throat, she almost choked, then managed to swallow before slipping away from the girls and heading over to him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, as she approached.

"Hey!" Sunny said, "Nothing, just hanging out. I live in Vegas, I think I'm allowed to visit a casino. It's kind of the selling points."

"Alright, fair enough," Allie said, "but you could visit any casino and you just happened to choose the one I work in? That I live in?"

"You live here?"

"You didn't know that?"

"No, I didn't know one could live in a casino," Sunny said, running a hand through his long blonde hair as the showgirl beside him hit a small jackpot and continued pumping coins into the machine; he added, "That's pretty cool actually."

"I have your money," Allie said, "If you're here to square up."

"Sure," Sunny replied, "Let's go."

Allie glanced around, making sure nobody was watching, and then the two of them headed up the stairs. As they walked, Sunny chuckled, making Allie nervous.

"What?" she asked.

"You're choosing the stairs?"

"Elevators have cameras. Nobody knows you're here, right?"

"I'd be a pretty lousy drug dealer if everyone knew my whereabouts, sweetheart," Sunny said, making Allie snicker, as he added, "but you know the floor of the casino has cameras too, and they likely captured us together."

"Yeah but those get wiped every night," Allie said, "so it's okay."

"Huh, didn't know that."

"Saves on memory," Allie said, "That way they don't have to continue to pay for more storage, especially when nothing of interest is happening and thus why should they save the footage."

Allie and Sunny had known one another for a long enough time now that they could easily have a conversation like friends, and not just dealer and client. This helped them feel more comfortable, trust worthy around one another, and eased the tension of their business together. Sunny was better than the other drug dealers she'd met in her time in Vegas, mostly because he wasn't total scum. He was somewhat sleazy, something even he'd admit to, but he wasn't an outright creep. He didn't hit on Allie, he didn't try and get her interested in other stock, he merely sold her what she asked for and appreciated her business.

It'll be weird, Allie thought as she walked up the stairs heading to her suite, after I give him his money, he'll be out of my life forever.

                                                                          ***

Allie had met Sunny a bit after the hospital had cut off her prescription to painkillers.

She'd heard through the grapevine in the casino, from other workers who used him, that he was the best there was, precisely because he wasn't an outright weirdo. He was just a normal, sometimes scuzzy dude, who happened to sell the things they needed. So Allie got his number, and he and Allie met up at a small italian bistro downtown. When she first saw him, she was surprised by his lack of professionalism. There he was, sitting at the table, in one of his patented hawaiian shirts and his zip off shorts, his long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, drinking a beer.

"Hi," Allie said, as she approached the table, "I'm Allie. I called you about-"

"I know what you called me about, no need repeating it where others can hear," Sunny replied, "Please, sit down."

"I'm...I'm nervous, I've never done anything like this before, and if the hospital hadn't cut me off, I likely wouldn't be."

"Why'd they cut you off?" Sunny asked, nursing his beer.

"Uh, they just don't think I need it anymore, and I may have been somewhat abusing it, but...I do still need it. I'm...I'm in tremendous pain daily."

"From what?"

"I was attacked by my tiger in my stage show," Allie said, "I'm a magician at a casino, The Card Shark, and this whole thing went really wrong, and...anyway, I'm in screaming agony constantly and the only thing that really seems to help is heavy duty painkillers."

Sunny smiled and reached down to his backpack on the floor.

"You know, that's pretty cool that you work with big animals."

"Not anymore."

Sunny laughed, and Allie smiled.

"I don't blame you," he replied, "After an incident like that, fuck that noise, am I right? Well, I can provide you with basically whatever you want. I recommend you start with what you were taking though, if that's what worked best for you."

"Do you...have like, medical training or something?"

"Yeah, I was going to school to be a doctor," Sunny said, "That's why I know all this stuff, and it's why I have connections, because most of my friends wound up being doctors, so we scratch one anothers backs, you know?"

Allie nodded as Sunny pulled out a pad of paper and a pen.

"So, let's talk about what you were on," he said.

Sunny was, to Allie's surprise, extremely professional, and they would go on to have a long and fruitful partnership together. Sunny never tried to get her on anything else, he never tried to push anything harder on her, and he never threatened to cut her off if she was a little behind on paying him, as she had been as of late. But he was still a drug dealer.

And that was something Allie couldn't believe she'd ever gotten involved with, and couldn't believe she would finally be free of.

                                                                              ***

"Shit, dude, nice digs," Sunny said as he entered the suite, "You live like a goddamn queen."

"I am a goddamn queen," Allie said, making him smirk as she walked to the bookshelf, pulled off a fake book and opened it, taking out a wad of cash and unfurling it, counting out the exact amount he was owed. Sunny wandered around the room as she did this, taking in all her memorabilia, all her old show posters and photos.

"You know, I'm gonna miss you," Sunny said, "I really am. You were certainly my coolest client."

"That's sweet, Sunny, thanks," Allie said, smiling a little as she licked her finger and continued flicking through bills.

After a few minutes, she finally finished counting, wrapped a rubber band around the wad and handed it to Sunny, who took it and shoved it into his pocket.

"Not even gonna count it?" she asked.

"Naw, I trust you," he said, "...I guess this is goodbye, unless you just want to hang out sometime."

"Maybe, maybe sometime when I'm, like, really sober and won't backslide," Allie said, "Sorry to put you out of a client."

"Eh, lots of people who need my services," Sunny said, shrugging, "Like that new partner of yours, who knows, she might want something sometime."

Allie stopped in her tracks.

"No, I told you, she doesn't...you need to stay away from her, she doesn't need anything."

"She can say no. She has the option."

"She doesn't need the option," Allie said, starting to get angry, adding, "There's plenty of people in this casino alone, you can't just, you know, peddle to them? You have to go after the one person I'm regularly associated with now?"

"Why not? Look dude, I'm a businessman, alright? I have to keep my numbers up. I lost a customer, now I need to gain a customer. That's just basic economics. Need to replace that loss with growth," Sunny said, "It isn't personal, Al, it's...you know, it's just business."

Allie couldn't believe this. She had squared up with him. She and Sunny had had such a professional relationship, and now this? Where was this coming from? She'd told him specifically to stay away from Zoe, and now here he was, with Allie's last pay installment and stating he was going to ask Zoe anyway? What the fuck.

"I need you to promise me you aren't going to approach her," Allie said, walking in front of Sunny and standing in front of the door, "Before I let you leave, I need you to promise me that."

"Jesus, why is that so important to you? She's just some kid, Al, she's gonna leave you anyway. She probably doesn't wanna play second fiddle to someone else forever. She doesn't want to live in your shadow. Would you?"

"I....I don't...that doesn't matter, this isn't about losing her as a partner, this is about doing the right thing, and that is that she doesn't need anything you're selling."

"Allie, get out of my way," Sunny said, sounding stern, his brow furrowing.

"Not until you promise me-"

"I'm not promising shit!"

Sunny grabbed her shoulders and pushed her aside. Allie stumbled and grabbed onto the wall, then grabbed a trophy from the shelf and slammed it against his back. Sunny cried out in pain, then turned to face her. As he approached, she stumbled and fell onto her back as he stepped forward, getting ever closer. Allie kicked him in the shin, forcing Sunny to slide forward in pain, then lose his footing and fall forward, his neck hitting the side of the coffee table and his lifeless body rolling to the floor. Allie sat there for a few moments, in absolute stunned silence.

"Sun...Sunny?" she asked, crawling toward him, seeing the blood leak from his head onto the floor, beginning to pool; her lip quivered as her breath caught in her chest, "oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck shit."

The door opened and Zoe was standing there, looking down at this sight.

"...what the fuck?" she whispered.

"It was an accident, he...he came at me, and he was...he was going to get you hooked on something, he...he threatened to get you addicted to something, I had to stop him," Allie said, her words falling out of her mouth at a mile a minute, her pulse pounding as she said, "I...I did it for you. I just...I wanted to protect you, and he-"

Zoe walked around the body and helped Allie up, hugging her.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Y...yeah, I'm fine," Allie muttered, "I'm okay."

Zoe and Allie broke from the hug and looked down at Sunny's body, both unsure what to do or say. After what felt like an eternity, Zoe cleared her throat.

"We have to hide him," she said.

                                                                                ***

"They say police are in the most dangerous profession, the ones who are most often killed in the line of duty, but honestly that's my field," Sunny said that day at their first meeting, after he and Allie had sorted out their arrangement and ordered lunch; he added, "Do you know how many drug dealers are killed by their own clients?"

"A lot, huh?"

"It's unreal. That's why we have to be so careful," he continued, "but you don't seem like a threat, so I don't think I have much to worry about in regards to you."

"You better watch out, I'm a magician," Allie said, wiggling her fingers, "I can make you...disappear."

They both burst out laughing.

Little did they know how true that'd wind up being.

"I have to be hallucinating," Allie mumbled as she tried to stand back up, one hand on the hood of the car, the other hand on her forehead, massaging it, as if that'd somehow make the cardboard cutout of herself stop speaking to her.

"Well no shit you're hallucinating, dumbass," Cardboard said, "because your life is in shambles and you took a dangerous combination of pills and alcohol. Now stand me upright so we can have a proper conversation."

Allie stumbled over, grabbed the cutout and shoved it back into the passenger seat of the car before going back around and climbing into the drivers seat, starting the car back up.

"This is going to be a long night," Allie muttered, as Cardboard scoffed.

"Please, at least you have autonomy," they replied.

Allie backed the car up and headed down the road that led them up here. As she turned the radio dial, searching for something - anything - to listen to, Cardboard sighed.

"So you're just gonna ignore me? Seems to be your MO, after all, ignore anything in your life that you might possibly be at fault for," Cardboard said.

"At fault for? How am I at fault for you?" Allie asked, sounding annoyed.

"Okay, well, sure, you didn't create me, I was made in a processing plant somewhere in the city, but still. You gave yourself this victim complex."

"Victim complex?"

"Yeah, you heard me, victim complex. You think you're a victim, but the only thing you're a victim of is your own poor choices! And everything bad that's come as a result, are also directly because of your own poor choices! You have a disease, an addiction, and it's somewhat understandable, considering what happened to you, but it's still something you've never really sought actual help for once it overtook your life."

"That...that isn't true, see, I have Zoe now, and-"

"She's half your age and it isn't her responsibility to clean up your act!" Cardboard shouted, making Allie swerve momentarily.

"You yell at me again and I'll set you on fire," Allie said coldly, and Cardboard laughed.

"Yeah, right. Like you could ever destroy a piece of yourself. You're such a narcissist," Cardboard remarked, "I mean, you can tell the true narcissists by the fact that they're the kids who thought they'd be famous as adults and actually followed through with it, no matter what it cost them. You didn't do what you did for the magic, you did it for the fame, because mommy and daddy didn't love you enough."

"That isn't true!" Allie shouted, changing lanes suddenly to keep driving without stopping at a red light, "They loved me a lot! And I did do it for the magic! I love magic!"

"Sure, maybe at first, but now you're just desperate to get back to that good spot you were once in instead of accepting that that time is over and now is the time to build something new, something maybe even better," Cardboard said, "but nooo, you're too hung up on the past. Hung up on Nick."

"Nick loved me..."

"And look what he did. He left."

"He left because...because of me..." Allie said, realizing what Cardboard was saying was true. She pulled over the an empty parking lot and turned the car off, glancing over at Cardboard and, biting her lip, asked, "I know that I'm why Nick left. It isn't even something I tried to blame on anyone else. I know my behavior, my refusal to change it, is why he's gone, and I...I don't even really blame him. I wouldn't stick around for me either."

Cardboard looked at Allie as she wiped her eyes on her arm and tried, poorly, to hold back tears. Allie felt terrible, she wanted to go to Nick, to tell him how very sorry she was for everything, for putting him through all she put him through all because she couldn't stop abusing medication and alcohol, but...

"...I can't even tell him he didn't deserve it, and that I'm sorry, because I've done that. I made promises I quickly broke time and time again, it's nothing he hasn't already heard. No apology I will ever make will sound sincere and genuine, because I've...I'm a liar."

"You're not a liar. You're sick," Cardboard said, "but you can get better, and you have people around you who want you to, who want to be your friends. But people will only put up with you for so long before they realize you have no intention to follow through on getting better. Then they begin to distance themselves, not because they don't care for you, but because they care for you so much that it hurts to see you do this, and they can't stand to be there when it goes south."

Allie leaned back in her seat and sighed, running her hands over her face and into her hair. She chewed on her lip, her eyes still wet with pools of tears.

"...everyone leaves though," Allie whispered, "first Megan left the act, then Domino hurt me and had to be taken away, and now Nick...you're not right though, about mom and dad, I mean. They loved me. But I do admit I think they're annoyed I'm not doing something to better the world. They don't view entertainment as a necessity. Great works of art? Sure. That they're fully behind. The american novel, the classic paintings, the life changing songwriters. But just entertainment for the sake of entertainment? Things like board games, and sitcoms and...magic...things that don't need to exist and that the world would be no different without...yeah, they don't view that as a necessity, and it kind of hurts."

"But you're successful beyond your wildest dreams? Doesn't that sort of prove them wrong?"

"Of course not. To them, people will pay for anything. My success only further strengthens their beliefs in the idea that mindless entertainment is an opiate for the masses who aren't smart enough to take in real art, and instead get wowed by some goofball in a top hat do simple card tricks," Allie said.

Cardboard sighed as Allie tilted her seat back, opened the sunroof, and then tilted Cardboard's seat back as well, so they could both look up to the stars again.

"But you're proud of yourself, aren't you?" Cardboard asked.

"Shit yeah I am," Allie responded, "Are you kidding me? I set a goal when I was a child and I reached it. How many people can say that?"

"And yet your folks disapproval hurts?"

"Of course it does. I mean, I've shrugged it off mostly at this point, but it still stings a bit," Allie said, "...but Zoe...she seems to be the kind of person whose life I really touched without even trying. She was there, as a kid, and saw the attack. I feel terrible that a child witnessed that, and even worse that it set her down a path to doing what I do, but...I've seen her do magic, she's very talented, and if she could get over her stage fright, she'd be a spectacular magician. But am I simply using her as a way to escape my issues?"

"If you are, is that so bad?" Cardboard asked, and Allie shrugged as she uncapped her flask and drank more.

"I don't know. I don't want her to feel like I'm using her, because I'm not. I see her for what she could be," Allie said, "I want to help her reach her potential, because I can see what she has, what she's capable of, and...and I want to really be her friend."

A long pause filled the car, as the sound of nearby cars flooded in through the open sunroof. Allie rubbed her eyes on her palms and lit a cigarette, taking a few puffs before blowing the smoke out the sunroof.

"...what can I do to show her that I'm ready to be better? That I'm...that I'm willing to work with her? She's my friend, she's my business partner, what can I do?" Allie asked, noticing the silence when Cardboard didn't respond. She rolled her head and glanced at the cutout, to see it had stopped talking, stopped moving whatsoever, and she realized whatever trip she was on...

...it was over now.

                                                                           ***

Zoe was seated on her bed when the door opened and her sister, Thea, was standing there. Zoe looked up, her bushy hair pulled back in a ponytail - or the best ind of ponytail she could manage given her hair type - as her scrapbooking effort was interrupted.

"What's up?" Zoe asked.

"Someone is here to see you," Thea said, "They're outside in the driveway, and they may be drunk."

"...oh," Zoe said, "Okay."

Zoe got up and pulled her jacket on, then headed outside. She spotted Allie leaning against her car, still smoking her cigarette. Allie tossed it on the ground and stomped it out as Zoe approached, her hands stuffed in her coat pockets.

"What are you doing here?" Zoe asked, "It's really late."

"I had the weirdest most fucked up night, man."

"Yeah? Was that before or after you left us all at the zoo?" Zoe asked, clearly sounding pissed.

"...okay, yeah, I deserve that, and I'm sorry, and I hope Effie understands I'm sorry too. I...I overheard Jenny talking to my ex on the phone, and I think between losing Domino and then that, I sort of...snapped. That...that doesn't excuse my abrupt exit, but I hope you understand now what happened, and how sorry I am."

Zoe kicked a small pebble with her shoe and shrugged.

"I guess, yeah, that's understandable."

"Zoe...I believe in your skills, and you've been such a good friend to me, and I don't want to let anyone down anymore, especially someone who seems to actually believe in me as much as you do, so please, will you come with me to rehab meetings? I...I need to get clean, like, for good, and with the help of professionals. I can't keep doing this."

Zoe smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah of course I will. You know I'd love to do that with you."

Allie threw her arms around Zoe's shoulders and squeezed her tight, crying into her bushy hair.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, "I'm so sorry I've been so bad to you."

"It's okay," Zoe replied, "...uh, is that a cardboard cutout of yourself?"

"Yeah, yes, that's another thing, can you hold onto that thing for me for a bit? It's freakin' me out," Allie said, reaching back in and tugging it out from the passengers seat out the drivers side door and shoving it into Zoe's arms, adding, "please, just...I need some time apart from it."

"You two have an argument, or?" Zoe asked, smirking, making Allie laugh.

"Zoe," she said, "You have no idea the kind of evening I have had."

                                                                           ***

Sitting in the car, chewing on her nails, Allie couldn't help but feel nervous. She hadn't ever expected to actually go to rehab with the intent to truly fix herself. Everytime she'd gone before she'd done it to make Nick happy, not to actually get better. She'd just always assumed that this was how she was now, and that she couldn't get back to who she'd been before.

"You okay?" Zoe asked, "You gonna be alright?"

"I think I'll be fine," Allie said, "Thanks for coming with me."

"That's what friends do," Zoe replied, smiling as she touched Allie's hand.

The two got out of the parked car and headed into the building. It was a quiet building, used mostly for group meetings such as AA and other types of things, and the silence was welcoming to Allie, who was feeling extremely overwhelmed by the amount of sound the casino had daily. As they headed down a hall and approached the door on the slip of paper in Zoe's hand, Allie began to get nervous. She was ready, she knew she was, but she just needed another minute before taking this step.

"I think I should use the restroom before we go in," she said, "I...I don't want to interrupt group by having to piss."

"Okay. I'll go inside and hold your seat," Zoe said, letting Allie head further down the hallway until she found the bathroom. As she put her hand on the bathroom door leading into the womans room, she heard the man standing by the water fountain speak.

"Haven't seen you in a while," he said, and Allie stopped cold.

"Sunny?" she asked, turning to look at him.

A handsome man; long blonde hair and in a hawaiian shirt and some tan slacks. He grinned at her as she pulled herself away from the door and approached him, her arms folded.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Good place to find new clients," Sunny said, "what are you doing here?"

"God that's sleazy," Allie whispered, "I'm....I'm here to get sober, honestly."

"That's a shame. I always thought I could count on you," Sunny said, "You know you still owe me some money."

"I know," Allie said, "I'm a little tied up right now, but my boss just gave me a partner and we'll be making more very soon, so I should have it for you any time."

"I've already given you a while, but I suppose another week or so couldn't hurt, just try not to make it longer than that," Sunny said, running his hands through his hair, "...you got a partner in the show now?"

"Yeah."

"She need anything?"

"No, and you stay the fuck away from her. She's a good, clean kid and she doesn't need to be dragged down with filth like us," Allie said, almost sneering at him.

"Alright, cool your jets, it was just a question," Sunny said, checking his watch, "I have to run. I'll try and catch up with you in a week or so and we'll see if we can square up. And hey, if not, maybe I can get your partner interested and she can make it up for you with her own habit."

He smiled, patted her on the face and headed down the hall. Allie stood there, fuming, as it began to dawn on her just how hard to might actually be to get out of this habit once and for all, especially if Sunny were involved. She groaned, then headed inside to pee. When she rejoined the group, she found Zoe sitting with her hand on the chair beside her, reserved for Allie. Allie smiled and took her seat by her friend, as the group was going around introducing themselves to one another.

"You're a little late, but that's okay," the group head, a short haired man named Michael, said to Allie.

"I had to use the bathroom."

"That's fine, why don't you introduce yourself to everyone."

Allie exhaled and looked around at this room full of alcoholics and drug users, realizing she was just the same as them, and that with their help, soon none of them would be those things anymore. This level of support was something she admired. She shut her eyes and nodded.

"My name is Allie Meers, I'm a professional magician here in Vegas...and I really need to get sober."

                                                                           ***

Lying in bed that night, staring at the cardboard cutout of Allie in her room, Zoe couldn't help but feel like she'd done something good. Something truly good. Something that nobody else, not even Nick, had been capable of doing, and that was getting Allie to really want to fix herself. The bedroom door opened and Thea stood there, eating from a bowl of cereal.

"What's that?" she asked, mouth full of trix.

"That's a cardboard cutout of my friend," Zoe said, "She wanted me to hang onto it for a while for her."

"Creepy," Thea replied, "...everything okay?"

"Yeah. She just needed some help...Thea, thanks for not making me go back to mom and dad, and letting me stay here with you," Zoe said, pulling her knees to her chest on the bed as she sat up and Thea smiled as she entered and seated herself on the bed.

"You're my little sister," she said, setting her half finished bowl of cereal on the nightstand and ruffling Zoe's hair, "I'd do anything, within reason, for you, you know that. I think it's great that you're actually helping this lady, especially if it helps you further your own career."

"I don't even know that I care so much about that anymore," Zoe said, "I mean, I do, I can't lie, but...she was my hero, and she's still my hero, and I hate seeing her destroy herself like this. If it could happen to her, it could happen to me, and maybe if I help her get sober, she'll help me stay clean."

"That's a good way of looking at it, yeah," Thea said, rubbing Zoe's back.

"It's more than a partnership, it's a friendship," Zoe said, "and I know there's a boundary, there's a line that can't be crossed because I can't let her take advantage of me, but...without her I don't know that I could do anything."

"You're talented, don't ever tell yourself you can't do something," Thea said, "You don't need someone else. Remember that. She needs you way more than you need her."

"...okay," Zoe mumbled, as she laid back down and rolled onto her side. Thea stood back up, scooped her bowl back from the table and headed out of the bedroom after saying goodnight, which Zoe didn't respond to. As she heard the door click shut, Zoe rolled back onto her back and sat up, propped by her elbows, looking at the cardboard cutout.

Thea was wrong.

They needed eachother equally.

That's what friendship was.

"He's beautiful," Allie said, standing in front of the cage and smoking a cigar, "He's the most beautiful cat I've ever seen. I cannot believe this is actually happening. Like, I've dreamt of this my entire life, and now it's happening. It's so surreal."

Tony smiled and patted her back, chuckling as he puffed on his own cigar, saying, "This is the big time, kid. You've really made it. What are you gonna name it?"

She hadn't really thought about this, actually. She'd never had a pet growing up, so she wasn't exactly a professional when it came to naming animals. Allie stood there, looking at this tiger, and thinking for quite some time before finally sighing and smiling.

"I think I've got it," she said.

                                                                             ***

Sitting in the car on their way to the zoo, Allie couldn't help but feel torn about what was about to go down. She should feel happy, knowing that this tiger would be taken as far away from her as possible, and be given a new life, but at the same time she felt as though she were losing her only tie to the life, the person, she had been before the incident. Effie rolled down her window as she puffed smoke out into the air and coughed.

"This feels surreal," Zoe said from the backseat, glancing at the cardboard version of Allie sitting beside her before adding, "I haven't seen that tiger since the night that happened. I never thought I'd see it again. I didn't even know you still had it."

"I don't," Allie said, "technically, anyway. It's owned by this local zoo. I didn't know they may sell off their assets though. Guess that possibility simply never occurred to me. I wish I had the money to buy him back."

"...if you wanted to buy him back, why'd you sell him in the first place?" Zoe asked.

"I didn't," Allie said, her voice quieting, "it was a decision made for me while I was in the hospital."

Effie pulled the car into a gas station, explaining she needed to fill up the tank, and Allie climbed out of the car, excusing herself to use the bathroom. Effie put her cigarette out and stuck it in her shirt pocket, as Zoe climbed out from the backseat and stretched beside her, watching Effie stick the gas nozzle into the car. Effie looked at Zoe and smiled.

"Sorry we couldn't meet again under better circumstances," Effie said, making Zoe laugh.

"Yeah...so, you've known Allie for a long time, right?"

"Long as I've been working at the club, so a few years, yeah, why?"

"...why did they sell the tiger?" Zoe asked, "I mean, how did they-"

"The thing you have to understand is this. Allie, and by extension everything she uses in her act, is technically owned by the owner of the casino, Tony. Therefore he had legal right to sell anything he wanted, and he figured this would be the best thing to do, to further the gap between her, the tiger and the incident that happened on his property. So when Allie was in the hospital, he sold the tiger and only told her when she got back. She was in so much pain and so angry I think she was sort of grateful at the time, but after a while she seemed to grow sort of resentful."

"I mean, the thing tried to kill her, I can't imagine she thinks there could actually be a relationship still to be had there, right? How do you come back from 'well, sure, they tried to kill me, but I've forgiven them for it'? If it were me, I doubt I could do it."

"You've never had a fragile relationship with anyone?" Effie asked.

"I...I mean, my parents, I guess, but..."

"Listen, I'm going to tell you this because you seem like a really nice person, and you don't seem worn out yet, but just be very careful with whatever this partnership you've got with Allie is. She's cool, and I like her a lot. but I also recognize she's extremely self destructive, and I don't want to see someone as nice as you seem to be to get dragged into her bullshit. I know you respect her, I do too, but...she's volatile. She's unpredictable. I chock most of that up to the pills, the alcohol, and what's happened to her, but that doesn't excuse how she treats others."

"...she's my friend," Zoe said, stammering, "I...I can't just...you know-"

"No, I know, I get it, believe me, I do. When I first started doing comedy I befriended this older comedian I really looked up to, and she taught me a lot about comedy, and I was thrilled to pieces to be considered good enough for her to care about my career, thinking she saw something special in me. What she actually saw, though, was my naivety, and my willingness to do anything for someone I admired so greatly. Needless to say, she took extreme advantage of me, and was very predatory. I'm not saying Allie is that way, but..."

Effie sighed and hung the nozzle back on the pump, pulling her wallet out and sliding her card through the slot to pay for the gas.

"...hero worship is a bitch, that's all I'm trying to say. Just be careful," she finished as she walked back around to the drivers side of the car.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Allie was standing in front of the mirror and wiping her face clean, looking at the long scar running down her face. This scar was the only thing - besides a pill addiction - the tiger would leave her with, and she hated that. It'd taken everything from her...her sobriety, her relationship, the full use of her wrist, and yet...yet she felt like she had a kindred spirit in this animal. She too was angry and violent and lashed out. But only because it'd made her that way, really, she knew. She hadn't been like that before hand. What would she do now, to confront her past and her pain?

Allie bought a few beef sticks inside the gas station after leaving the bathroom, a bottled coffee and joined the girls back in the car. She handed out the beef sticks, each girl getting one, and then unscrewed the lid of her coffee, taking a long swig.

Watching her from the backseat, Zoe tried to take heed of what Effie had told her, but she wanted to believe in Allie. She wanted to think the best of her. This was her mentor, her childhood icon, her hero. And yet Effie's words ran through her head again and again...

"Hero worship's a bitch."

                                                                            ***

Jenny knew they were coming.

As soon as she'd gotten wind of the deal, she called the Casino and spoken to Effie when she couldn't reach Allie. She was now patiently waiting for them at the front gate, eating from a bag of chips and she thought about what kind of loss Allie had been through. A loss she herself could never imagine suffering, and not just of the tiger, but of everything. She knew Nick had dumped her, she knew she'd almost lost her hand, she knew she was damaged goods. She felt bad for Allie, but she made sure never to show it, she knew Allie hated people who took pity on her. Finally she rolled the top of the bag down and pinned it shut as the car approached the gates. Jenny came out of the small hut near the front, pulling her jacket on over her outfit.

"Hey," she said, reaching the drivers side window, "um, you guys can park round back, they're back there in a cage. Just pull round the back and I can open the back gates."

"Righty-o," Effie said, continuing to pull forward and head around the back.

After Jenny let the girls in, the four of them walked towards the enclosure where the cage was, but nobody was saying a word. After a bit of walking, entering some out buildings, Jenny cleared her throat and pulled her long silk black hair into a ponytail.

"Where's Nick?" she asked, making Allie scoff.

"As if I'd tell him," she replied.

"But...he was always the one who brought you out here," Jenny said.

"Yeah, and then he dumped me. That's over. This is over. No need to bring them into contact with one another again. I need to move on," Allie grumbled, "lord know he already has. After tonight I'm hoping for some kind of closure, and maybe I can finally get on with my life too."

Jenny nodded. This made sense. A warped sort of sense, but sense nonetheless. Behind them, Effie and Zoe were walking a bit aways, so as not to listen in on their conversation, despite driving here with Allie. Zoe pulled on the strings of her hoodie and sighed as Effie drank the rest of Allie's coffee and then tossed the bottle into a nearby recycling container. She burped and glanced over at Zoe, who smiled a bit from the burp.

"'Scuse me," Effie whispered, half laughing herself.

"...I want to help Allie get better," Zoe finally said.

"A noble cause," Effie replied, "and I think very highly of you for attempting that, but I also think you need to understand how people need to take responsibility for themselves, and it isn't up to anyone else to 'fix' them. Certainly the support helps, nobody's ever going to argue that, but in the end it boils down to whether or not Allie wants Allie to get better. I like to think she does, but only time will tell."

"You don't think I'm stupid for caring, do you?"

"Not at all! I think it's very sweet, honestly," Effie said, "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

Zoe blushed. She'd rarely had someone be so kind to her this way, and she liked it. She also acknowledged that Effie was, without a doubt, right. Much as she wanted to help Allie, it really boiled down to Allie wanting to help Allie. She could be there for her, sure, but there was only so much she could give to her without giving her everything. After a bit of walking, the girls stopped and noticed Allie was staring at a large cage, and inside was seated the most beautiful white tiger Zoe had ever seen.

"You have maybe 15 minutes before they get picked up, so I'd make it brief," Jenny said, "I'm not even supposed to let people who don't work here back in here, but I made an exception for you, obviously."

"I appreciate it," Allie said, smiling, patting Jenny's shoulder.

"I'm gonna go for a smoke, you wanna join me?" Effie asked, and Jenny nodded, the two of them exiting, leaving Zoe and Allie alone with the tiger. Allie pulled together some full, sturdy cardboard boxes, and together they sat there, staring at the tiger in the cage. Allie sighed and unzipped her jacket, then reached inside her jacket pocket and pulled out a polaroid, handing it over to Zoe.

"This is the day Tony and I went to get them," she said, "the day I actually become owner, or pseudo owner, of a white tiger. A white tiger who, very shortly afterwards, would attempt to rip my arm from my body, and nearly sever my hand in the process. I still can't feel much in that hand. I still am in tremendous pain and take too many pills for it, and for fun. Because why not, right? Why not."

"But you aren't making inroads to get better?"

"I am...I mean, I'm trying to. I threw out all my alcohol the other week," Allie said, "I know cold turkey isn't exactly the safest thing, but I would've kept over drinking if I'd even kept the smallest amount, and then just gone and bought more. I never drank before I was attacked. I never did anything before I was attacked. I wasn't straight edge, by any means, let people enjoy what they want so long as it isn't hurting them or hurting others, but...none of it ever interested me. Now I've been steeped in alcohol and pills for so long that I can't imagine how I was before it."

"I don't do anything, do you think I'm boring because of it?" Zoe asked, and Allie smirked.

"Of course not, but you're not me," Allie said.

"Not yet I'm not, but I'd like to be a magician like you," Zoe replied.

"Well, you can accomplish it without the tiger. That was the thing at the time, you have to understand. Vegas magic was showy, and glamorous. Not that it still isn't, but now it can be done without putting your actual life at risk. You don't have to fall back on cheap gimmicks to be a good magician, Zoe. You don't have to be a sellout like me."

"You're not a sellout," Zoe said, sighing and then saying, "...when I was a little girl, my parents argued all the time. Magic was the only thing that helped me escape that. It was...it was really all I had. Then, when I was a sophomore in high school, I..."

Allie got quiet as Zoe swallowed, audibly, and fought back tears, then continued.

"...when I was a sophomore in high school, I had an accident," she said, her voice softening, "I was riding my bike home from a party, a party I'd only been invited to because this guy liked me and wanted me to do magic for him and his friends, and it was raining so it was kind of hard to see and I was hit by a car on my bike."

"Jesus."

"Nothing was broken," Zoe said, her lip quivering, "except maybe my pride, but...I had a concussion, and...I don't really know how to explain it but I've never really been quite the same. I'm overly empathetic now, and overly emotional, and I don't rationalize a lot, and I've acted on whims when I knew they were wrong. It's like it destroyed any kind of logic system my brain had before, or something. Now I'm scared of the world, and everything in it, except for magic. Except for you."

Zoe looked up and to her side, at Allie, who was watching her closely.

"...I know what you mean when you say you don't, you know, know how to get back to who you were before it. I know what that's like. I know how you feel. I'm just glad we don't have to feel that way alone anymore," Zoe whispered, and Allie reached out and held her hand, before glancing back at the cage.

"I think the worst part is he can't apologize, because he doesn't know he did anything wrong," Allie said quietly, "Did your driver who hit you at least apologize?"

"No," Zoe said, "they just kept on driving. Someone on the street saw me lying in the road and called an ambulance."

"You were denied an apology and I simply cannot be given one," Allie said, "but maybe the blame is on us. On you for thinking people would be kind enough to apologize, to care, and me for assuming an animal could think it'd done wrong when all it knows is that it was essentially protecting itself. The world doesn't owe us apologies, even if that sounds like a baby boomer mentality, and it's up to us to find ways to move on, together or apart."

Zoe rested her head on Allie's shoulder, and Allie ran her long fingers through Zoe's curly hair.

"I like working through things together," Zoe whispered, and Allie nodded. The doors behind them opened and Effie came strolling back in, whistling at them.

"Hey, Jenny sent me inside to tell you it's time to go," she said, "These guys are about here."

Zoe stood up and followed Effie back outside, as Allie walked up to the cage and looked at the tiger.

"I don't know where they're going to take you, but I hope it's better than what I managed to give you," she said, "I forgive you, Domino."

Allie was trying to find her way back out, and eventually did, exiting through the back doors and spotting Effie and Zoe standing and chatting. She started to pass them, when she heard muttering from around a nearby corner, and she peeked around to see Jenny pacing back and forth on a phone, pulling at her hair.

"She's leaving right now, I guess. I just sent her friend in to get her. She seems...calm, yeah," Jenny said, "I'm surprised she's taking it so well, but her new friend seems to be helping her a lot. I'll drive on by after I get off work, okay? No, Nick, it's fine, I understand. I don't blame you. I'll see you soon."

Allie leaned against the wall and felt her blood begin to boil. She dug her hand into her coat pocket and pulled out the keys to the car, then took off running past Zoe and Effie, and sliding into the drivers side window, and quickly locking the door. Zoe rushed up to the car and started smacking her palm on the window, shouting.

"Allie!" she yelled, "Allie what's going on?!"

Allie didn't say a word. Instead she backed out quickly, and just as quickly started to speed away, only missing Zoe by an inch as Effie wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled Zoe out of the way. Zoe continued to shout at the car, but it was now nothing more than a speck on the horizon. Zoe didn't understand...what had she done wrong? Allie couldn't breath. She felt like the world was suffocating her, and she wanted to die. She looked in her rearview mirror, spotting the cardboard cutout of herself, and glared. She needed a drink. After a quick stop at a gas station, she came back out with a large bottle of gin and drove to a secluded area where she could look down at the city. She drank and drank and drank until her eyes blurred, and her teeth hurt. She pulled the cardboard cutout of herself from the car and laid it on the hood right next to her, then raised the bottle of gin up in the air.

"The only person I can stand is myself," she said, "Here's to me, the undesirable mess."

"Amen," the cutout replied, shocking her as she rolled off the car hood and looked at it from the ground. It was stationary, it couldn't move, but she swore it spoke. Allie pulled herself back up onto the hood and looked at it again.

"...what did you say?" she asked.

"You and I have a lot of catching up to do," it said, "Now finish that bottle and let's chat."

Allie hadn't been invited to many birthday parties.

Even now, she was sure she was only invited because the mother of the child who's birthday it was forced her to invite her entire class, so as not to cause a ruckus amongst those who hadn't been invited and those who had. Sitting in the backseat of her parents car, the present they'd made her bring loosely held in her lap, Allie couldn't help but feel like she'd be just as out of place here as she was at school.

"When can I come home?" she asked.

"You know, other kids like playing with kids their age," her mother said, turning onto a suburban street and coming to a crawl, "don't you like being around your peers?"

"Not really, they're not very nice," Allie said.

She was 10. This was likely the last birthday party she'd be invited to, as once kids became teenagers, their parents were a lot more lenient in who they made come to their parties and who they didn't. She figured, if nothing else, this was her final chance to eat cake and come away with a favor bag full of candy and puzzles. As the car came to a complete stop and Allie got out, she could hear the sounds of the kids in the backyard, and her eyes scanned upwards over the fence, spotting the roof of a bouncy castle behind the house. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all, she thought.

"I'll be back around 4 to pick you up, okay?" her mom asked, getting out and walking around the car to Allie, leaning down and kissing her forehead, "I love you, I just want you to try and get along with the other kids, that's all. Just try, okay?"

"Okay," Allie mumbled, as her mom watched her walk up to the front door. Once the door opened and the birthday girls mother had ushered her into the house, Allie turned and watched her mother drive away through the window, before following the birthday girls mom into the kitchen.

"You can put the gift on that table there," she said, pointing to a table absolutely overwhelmed with boxes covered in wrapping paper and bows, adding, "would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you," Allie said.

"We have fruit punch, we have soda, what do you want?" the mom asked, and Allie shrugged.

"Do you just have lemonade?" she asked, and the mom nodded, pulling a pitcher from the fridge and pouring her a glass, which she kindly took after thanking her and headed into the backyard with.

It was an absolute madhouse out here. Just as she'd expected it to be, really. Some kids were playing with water guns, other kids were in the bounce house, and some where playing fairly standard carnival games like beanbag toss. This kids mom had really gone all out, and it made Allie somewhat annoyed that she'd never done anything this spectacular for any of her own birthdays, but she also didn't have any real friends, so who knows how fun it'd have been with just her and her parents. She loved her parents, she loved spending time with them, but still. As she strolled across the lawn, sipping her lemonade from the paper cup covered in vaguely legal off model characters from a popular IP, she couldn't help but notice that she didn't see the birthday girl anywhere.

Allie sat down on the swingset in the backyard, and soon heard the creak of the other swing beside her being sat on as well. She glanced over and saw a teenager, maybe seventeen, sitting there and eating a piece of cake. She was dressed nicely, with a top hat and a cape.

"This is delicious, but I can't imagine it's a good idea to give this much sugar to children," the girl said, making Allie laugh.

"Why are you in a costume?" Allie asked, pointing at her top hat.

"I'm the magician," the girl said, "I'm The Marvelous Marcie. It's just something I do for fun and to earn some extra money. Do you like magic?"

"Magic is cool, yeah," Allie replied.

Marvelous Marcie set her now empty plate on the grass, reached into her pockets and pulled out a deck of cards. She then shuffled them, grinning at Allie - who appeared enraptured - the entire time, and then held them out to her. Allie picked a card, looked at it and then slid it back into the deck, which Marvelous Marcie shuffled once again. After she was finished, she picked a card and held it up.

"Is this your card?" she asked, and Allie shook her head; Marvelous Marcie glanced at the card and sighed, "Drats," she said, "What about this one?" she asked, reaching forward and taking a card from inside Allie's shirt pocket. Allie's eyes widened at the trick, making Marvelous Marcie grin.

"How did you..." Allie began.

"Can't tell ya, kiddo," Marvelous Marcie said, tossing her bangs from her face, "but you can learn to do it too. It won't make you the coolest kid in school or anything, by any means, but it'll at least make you the most interesting person at a party, plus you'll likely get paid to do it a lot."

As Marvelous Marcie grabbed her plate from the grass and stood up, she smiled at Allie and headed back inside the house, leaving Allie to wonder at the mysteries of magic, something that now, even as an adult, still marveled her. Most adults lose their sense of curiosity, but if Allie could be grateful for anything in her life, it was that she still was capable of enjoying things like simple card tricks. After she finished drinking her lemonade, the kids all gathered back inside to watch the birthday girl blow out her candles, open her presents, and then the lot of them headed into the living room to play board games.

Allie, however, opted to instead spend this time sitting in the kitchen, watching as Marvelous Marcie helped the birthday girls mother clean things up. This was more welcoming to her, she felt. A mother and magic. The two things she loved most in life.

                                                                            ***

"You need to get out of bed," Effie said, pulling the curtains back on the large window in Allie's penthouse bedroom, then turning to look at her; she put her hands on her hips and shook her head, "You look like hot garbage. Where's that kid you've got helping you?"

"No idea...what...what time is it?" Allie asked, pushing her messy knotted hair from her face.

"It is almost 3pm," Effie said.

"How'd you even get in here?"

"You gave me a key, remember?" Effie asked, walking to the closet and opening it, beginning to pull things out, "Christ, you really need help. I thought you were quitting drinking."

"I am, I'm not drunk and I didn't drink at all last night," Allie said, "I'm just extremely tired. I haven't been sleeping well, I think it's these goddamned painkillers. Also it's weird not having someone in bed with me."

"There's people you can hire to rectify that situation," Effie said, smirking, "This is Vegas, girl, get you some."

Allie chuckled as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and sighed, rubbing her eyes with her palms as Effie continued to dig through her closet.

"Anyway, you asked me to come get you if you ever slept past noon, so here I am. Sorry I couldn't be here sooner, I had a gig this afternoon. But you need to get dressed, something's come up. What the hell is this?" she asked, pulling out a cape from the closet and holding it up, forcing Allie to scramble across the room and take it from her.

"Don't touch that!" she said, "That's very special!"

"Sorry, geez," Effie said, backing away.

Allie held the cape in her hands and ran its fabric against her face, her eyes shutting. She had forgotten it was in there. She thought she'd put it in the storage unit ages ago, but no, here it was, just as nice as it'd always been. Just seeing it brought back a wave of memories, and she smiled. This cape...this cape meant everything to her.

                                                                           ***

"You don't wanna go play a game with the other kids?" Marvelous Marcie asked as she dried her hands on a small towel, looking at Allie sitting at the kitchen table. Allie shook her head and dug her hand back into the chip bowl.

"I don't really like the other kids," Allie said, "I don't know, they think I'm weird."

"But weird is cool, and eventually your peers will come around to realize that and regret not being your friend. Least that's what I have to tell myself, otherwise I was just a friendless loser," Marvelous Marcie said, making Allie laugh; she continued, "that's what's so great about magic. You hold all the cards, literally, as to their interest. You draw them in, you keep them there, you make them impressed and respect you. Life is all about misdirection, just like magic. You lie and you lie and you get people to believe those lies so they'll like you."

"But lying is bad, isn't it?" Allie asked and Marvelous Marcie shrugged.

"Sure, if it's about big things that hurt people, but not when it comes to being a person other people might be remotely interested in knowing, then it's fine," Marvelous Marcie said, unfastening the clip around her cape and pulling it off, looking at it, "everyone in the world creates a persona, someone they think will fit in better with society than who they actually are, because we're all too afraid to let others truly know us. That's all being a magician is. Putting on a face. Impressing others with the most minimal of abilities."

"...can you do magic for a living?" Allie asked, "Like, as a real job?"

"Sure, if you go somewhere like Vegas," Marvelous Marcie said, "But certainly not in a suburb. I'm only doing this to earn money for college. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like doing it, but it's...it's really not a viable way to make a living outside of being an over the top Vegas magician."

Just then the birthday girls mother came back into the kitchen and looked at Marvelous Marcie.

"You know," she said, "It's almost 3. Don't you have another show to get to?" she asked, and Marvelous Marcie checked her watch and gritted her teeth.

"Shoot, you're right, thank you for telling me," she said, grabbing her car keys and heading out of the kitchen before turning back and putting the cape around Allie's neck, clasping it shut in front of her throat and patting her shoulders, smiling, saying, "take my cape, it just gets in the way, and remember...the best trick isn't fooling others, but fooling yourself."

And with that, the Marvelous Marcie walked out of Allie's life.

Allie would ask for a magic kit for her 11th birthday, and she'd get it. Marvelous Marcie had put a bug in her heart that she'd spend the rest of her life chasing, and eventually she'd succeed in ways Marvelous Marcie likely never would've expected. But that's what Allie was good at, really, if her relationship with her parents and Nick had taught her anything.

Subverting expectations.

                                                                          ***

"You ok, man?" Effie asked, sitting on the bed beside Allie, rubbing her back.

"...I'm...I'm sorry, this just means a lot to me," Allie whispered, keeping the cape held close to her chest, "it was what made me want to do magic. It's very....it's very important."

"I get it," Effie said, "but seriously, you need to get up. I found some clean clothes you can pick from."

Effie stood up and gathered up the handful of clothes for Allie to wear, but as she turned back, she saw Allie was still sitting on the bed, looking at the cape in her lap, running her hands over it repeatedly.

"Didn't you ever have, like, a person change the course of your life?" Allie asked, and Effie shrugged.

"Sure, the first time I heard stand up I realize it was what I wanted to do," Effie said.

"Exactly, so you get it," Allie said, "You get what it's like to have someone influence you in such a way that it completely alters the future that you'll have. That's what this cape represents to me. I wore it when my cousin and I originally performed together, but not since Tony found me. But I still keep it close, keep it around, so I'm reminded that there even when it feels like there's no magic in the world, you can make some yourself."

"That's...really beautiful, honestly," Effie said, plopping the clothes down on the bed beside Allie and smiling, "I'm glad you have something that brings you such a level of comfort. Most I've got is my ex and a the first stand up Vinyl record I heard."

Allie chuckled as she stood up and started to get dressed.

"So why did you barge in here and wake me up to begin with? You say I have to go somewhere?" Allie asked as she pulled her blouse down over her head.

"Uh, yeah," Effie said, leaning against the closet door, tapping her feet, "Actually, when they couldn't get a hold of you, the girl from the zoo called me instead. Um, we need to get out there as soon as possible, really, so if you could hurry up and get dressed that'd be great, because I don't know exactly how much time we have."

"...what do you mean?" Allie asked, now eyeing Effie suspiciously.

"...the tiger's been sold," Effie said.

"...what?" Allie asked, feeling all the life leave her body, "my..they're selling my tiger? To who?!"

"She didn't give me any other details other than the zoo is unloading a handful of animals to another person, and they're among one of them," Effie said, "Look, I don't know much, alright? So don't go hounding me for information, I only know what she told me."

Allie finished getting dressed, then quickly called Nick and told him to meet her there. As the girls headed out of the penthouse and down the stairs, they ran into Zoe coming up.

"Where are you going?" Zoe asked, "I was just coming upstairs to look for you."

"I have an errand to run," Allie said, grabbing her arm and leading her back down the stairs with herself and Effie, adding, "and you're coming with me."

                                                                            ***

"Did you know that some magicians work with big cats?" Allie asked her mom once, to which her mother barely acknowledged as she dug through the fridge for ingredients for dinner; Allie continued, "They use tigers and lions and all kinds of other animals but mostly big cats! Do you think I could ever work with a big cat?"

"Anything's possible baby," her mother said.

Allie looked at the booklet that came with her VHS tape and smiled, seeing a man and a woman - magician and assistant - working with a bengal tiger.

"I'm gonna work with a big cat," Allie whispered.

"Ma'am? I'm going to need you to stay with me, if you can, just for a moment," the man said as he loaded Allie into the back of the ambulance, "Ma'am? Can you hear me?"

Allie nodded, her eyes staring off into space, her lips moving to whisper, "...it hurts so much."

"I know and we're going to get you to the hospital and get you fixed up pronto, I just need you to not lose consciousness yet before I give you this sedative," he said, popping a needle out of a hanging IV in the back of the ambulance and wiping the tip down with a swab, "Miss Meers? Can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"I want you to count to five, okay? If you could just count to five, you'll be alright, and then you can pass out," the man said, "It's an old trick someone taught me in medical school. It's supposed to confuse your brain, redirect its efforts to something else so it doesn't focus primarily on the shock your body is going through. Can you do that for me?"

Allie nodded, as he patted her shoulder and smiled. She started counting down backwards, her eyes getting heavier with every number as she felt the tip of the needle slip into her arm.

"1...2...3...4...5..."

   ***

Zoe was sitting in her bed at home, staring at the posters on her wall, most of assorted Vegas acts.

All she'd ever wanted to do since she first saw Allie Meers was perform with her, and now she was being given her chance, and she was terrified to take it. Her bedroom opened and Thea stood there, looking at her sister as she sipped her coffee, leaning against the doorframe.

"Why aren't you up?" she asked.

"Nervous," Zoe said, her voice shaky, her fingers fidgeting, "just...unable to get up the guts to go in. Supposed to practice today for the boss, supposed to give, like, a performance, and I just...I worry I'm not going to be able to make Miss Meers confident in my abilities."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, but you can't just stay in bed all day," Thea said, "Remember? That was part of the agreement. I'd let you stay here if you continued to try and get better. Now get up, put some pants on and I'll drive you, okay? We'll stop and get breakfast somewhere fast and easy."

"...I could go for some greasy hashbrowns," Zoe said, smiling a little now as her sister nodded.

"Atta girl," she replied.

After Zoe had gotten dressed, she and Thea climbed into Thea's car and started heading towards Card Shark. They stopped by a burger place and got their breakfast platter, before parking in the Card Shark lot and eating breakfast. As Zoe sipped her soda and Thea bit into her tiny flapjacks, Zoe couldn't help but feel like her sister was really trying to help her, and she appreciated her so much for it.

"...thanks," Zoe mumbled, "for, you know, caring about me."

"You're a pain in my ass, but you're a pain in MY ass, so it's my duty to care about you," Thea said, chewing noisily and then taking a sip of coffee, before exhaling and adding, "but, we did have a deal, okay? Remember that. I need you to keep your end of the bargain up. You've been doing well, but I need you to really follow through, alright?"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I know you get nervous, I get nervous too. I think we get it from dad," Thea said, "but I'm here, and it seems like this Allie Meers is trying to be your friend from what you've told me, and that sounds good. Just don't give up, okay?"

"Okay," Zoe said, smiling as she climbed out of the car and said bye to her sister, heading into the casino.

Once inside, she spotted Allie at a slot machine, playing mindlessly, pulling the crank every handful of seconds. Zoe stopped by her machine and sat down on a stool, watching her. She'd never really seen Allie just...relax. She'd seen her drunk, passed out, but actually genuinely relax? This was a first, and she was also finding herself hard pressed to consider this "relaxing". She sipped her soda, then handed it to Allie, who happily declined her offer and instead held up a martini glass on the top of the slot machine.

"This early?" Zoe asked.

"What else I have going for me?" Allie asked.

"I thought you were trying to slow down."

"I am, and this is slowing down. I could be four drinks in already. I'm just nursing this one," Allie said, "I'd say for a crippling alcoholic that that's pretty good."

Zoe giggled as Allie pumped quarter after quarter into the slot machine. After a few minutes of people watching, Zoe turned back to Allie and slid her hand into her hoodie pocket, pulling another hashbrown out and biting into it, catching Allie's attention.

"Did you just pull a fried potato out of your pocket?" she asked, "you're like a genie. I want one."

"Heyo," a voice said, as a woman with short brown hair and wearing a suit leaned against the slot machine, "How much are you down this morning?"

"No idea," Allie said, "I started with four cups worth of quarters and now I'm down to this one half, so...not good? What are you doing here? Didn't you have a morning show?"

"Are you kidding? Nobody comes to see a comedian in the morning," the woman said, before grinning at Zoe and waving at her sweetly, "Hiya, I'm Effie Stonem. Who're you? Allie's sponsor?" she asked, nudging Allie in the ribs and winking, making Allie laugh mockingly.

"I'm Zoe, I'm Allie's new partner," Zoe said, "I think I've seen you on TV."

"Unlikely," Allie said, "You have to be talented to be on television."

"Hey, come on, you know that's not true," Effie said, the three of them chuckling, "Yeah, you probably have seen me on television. I get some short gigs now and then on the comedy network. You got a partner? Like how your cousin used to be?"

"Yes," Allie said, clamming up at the thought of that.

Why did everyone in this casino know her personal business? Was she that much of a talkative drunk? She really needed to learn to keep her mouth shut from now on if she didn't want to be constantly reminded of things that hurt her so deeply so regularly.

        ***

"Can you grip this?" Nick asked, as he helped Allie out of her wheelchair and in between the two bars on both sides of her. She locked her fingers of her working hand around one, but struggled to do so with the other, and winced, wanting to cry.

"God, it hurts so much," she whispered, her eyes stinging with tears.

"Okay, okay, it's alright," Nick said, as he helped her back to his couch in the apartment, adding as he stroked her hair, "Hey, it's alright, you'll make progress, okay? It's going to take some time, but you'll make progress, I promise."

He leaned in, listening, as she mumbled under her breath.

"What are you doing?" he asked, "Are you counting?"

"When they came to get me off the stage," Allie said, "this guy in the ambulance, he told me to count to give, because it distracts your brain momentarily from the pain. It's been a pretty useful tactic during this session of physical therapy, let me assure you."

"Huh, I think I remembering being taught that but I don't think I ever actually attempted it myself or offered it as a solution to anyone," Nick said, leaning back on the couch, "...it actually works?"

"I mean, only momentarily, like I said," Allie replied, "but yeah, it does. It at least buys me a few minutes of peace if nothing else. Now I just use it for whenever I feel remotely scared or anxious or nervous. I just...shut my eyes and count to five."

And she'd been doing it ever since.

            ***

"Are you ready?" Allie asked, watching Zoe pace in her outfit in Allie's penthouse as they prepared to head down to the stage for their solo performance for Tony. Zoe, clearly, was not ready, and Allie could all but tell this from just a single glance. Zoe was wearing the old outfit Allie herself had once worn, but it wasn't doing much to calm her down. Allie sighed, finished lacing up her boot and walked to Zoe, putting her hands on her shoulders and making her face her.

"Listen to me," Allie said, "Here's a little trick someone taught me in an ambulance once. I want you to count to five. Just take a deep breath and count to five. It will make your brain be distracted momentarily and clear your head so you can calm down, okay? It alleviates some of the fear. Can you do that for me, partner?"

"O...okay," Zoe replied, shutting her eyes and, inhaling deeply, began counting out loud, "1...2...3...4...5..."

After she finished, she opened her eyes and looked at Allie, still standing in front of her.

"That didn't really work."

"Well, maybe you have to be under extreme duress. To be fair, when he taught it to me, my wrist was barely attached to my arm, so," Allie said, thinking before snapping her fingers and pointing at Zoe, "I got it! I could break your arm!"

"That...seems a bit unnecessary," Zoe replied, trying not to laugh.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help," Allie said, shrugging, the both of them laughing now as Allie patted Zoe's back and said, "See? It did kind of help you distract yourself in a way, didn't it?"

"It actually did, yes, thank you," Zoe said.

"Well, partner, let's go get 'em," Allie said, opening the penthouse door leading to the hallway.

 ***

Shortly after Nick left her, Allie found herself in the penthouse, alone.

She was afraid to be alone. She was always afraid that something bad would happen to her whenever she had the time to be alone. Like perhaps she'd have a stroke, or a heart attack, or finally simply take one too many painkillers and did herself in before anyone could find and help her. Not that she'd want to be helped, to be fair...and it wasn't that she didn't like being alone. That was a whole other thing entirely. She was not one of those people who thinks other people need social contact, no, she thrived by herself. But she was afraid of it, at least, simply because she thought something may harm her if she were alone.

So Allie paced, and she drank, and she paced and drank some more, and she got undressed to just her underwear and she played the baby grand piano in the penthouse sloppily, slurring her words to whatever Billy Joel sound she could conjure up from her mind.

It wasn't until she found herself opening the window in the penthouse that gazed down at the busy Vegas streets below, and climbing onto the ledge that she realized just how sad she really was. She wanted to walk off. Not jump. No. That was too much of a spectacle and she didn't deserve that attention. No, she wanted to merely walk off. She wanted it all to be over. She wanted Nick back, and she knew that she had a pill problem, and a drinking problem, and that she was barely capable of containing them, and that she was on the verge of losing her lifelong dream, and that this might be one of the last nights she spends in this penthouse, a penthouse she's come to call home, even if it's never felt much like home.

But instead, she climbed back through, closed the window, leaned against it...

...and she counted to five.

                                                                            ***

Tony was impressed, he couldn't deny it.

If Allie was still doing as poorly as she had been, it didn't come across in their performance for him. In fact, she seemed more with it and together than she had in ages, and he chocked that up to the mere fact that she had someone to prop up in the act with her. She'd always done better with her cousin, he'd known, so putting her with someone else was a no brainer. Afterwards, while Zoe and Allie drank small glasses of wine he offered them as he lit a cigar for himself, the girls couldn't feel more proud. Tony sat at his desk and smiled.

"You guys were killer, and I think this is going to work out well," he said, "I'm glad to see you're getting along as well as you are."

"Miss Meers is an excellent tutor," Zoe said.

"I think with you two together, it will bring the quality of not just the act up obviously but also the audience. Magic's hurtin', it's hurtin' bad, as I'm sure you're aware. Vegas magic isn't competing as well as it used to, but I think you ladies are talented enough to stay afloat and-"

The door opened and someone summoned Tony out of his office, saying he was needed for a moment. He groaned and stood up, exiting.

"I'll be right back, pardon me ladies," he said, shutting the door behind him as he left.

"...you know," Zoe said, her voice shaky, "I thought you were going to betray me. I thought you were going to be one of those stars who...who says 'you can be here but just stay out of my way', but you're actually not that way at all. You seem to want to help me have a career as much as I want to help be a part of yours. I'm so glad, because you...you were, like, such an inspiration to me as a kid."

"God, don't say that, that makes me feel old, I'm not that much older than you," Allie said, laughing and rubbing her face with her hand, "but...you're welcome, Zoe. I remember what it was like, being that loser kid who was interested in magic, especially if you were a girl. That's bully city right there. We have to stick together, not just as women, but as magicians. If I can't count on you, who can I count on?"

Allie meant this, she did, but she also knew it was somewhat of a lie. She knew Zoe would go to the ends of the earth for her. She knew Zoe would never leave her side. She knew Zoe was 100% dependent on her. She liked that power, and she liked knowing she could have Zoe help her with anything because of the power she wielded over her.

Not that she'd want to go down that road, but hero worship is a disgusting thing, and an even easier thing to use to ones advantage. But, despite that, Allie was actually trying to be a better person. She wanted to get sober. She wanted to stop the pills. She wanted to clean up her act - figuratively and literally - and she wanted to help Zoe create her own. She did actually like the kid, after all.

After the meeting, when Allie found herself alone again that night, she took all the alcohol in the penthouse minifridge and she poured it down the drain, except for a small bottle of expensive whiskey that Tony had given her as a gift for the holidays. Standing there, her hands gripping the counter as she watched it all disappear down the drain, she looked at the pills to her right and she shook her head. No. Not tonight. If Zoe was going to help her, she'd need to help Zoe, and that started with being remotely stable. So instead, Allie did the next best thing. She took a deep breath.

1...2...3...4...5...