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Richardson was watching Kevin, Number Four and Number Two talk amongst themselves underneath a tree a few feet away. He was stood beside The Burrow entrance, with rabbits passing him by as they entered and exited. Meadow stopped as her kids ran ahead past her and she glanced at him.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"I suppose, relatively speaking," Richardson said, "Just thinking. Thinking about what it took to get out here, how long we've been out here, how long we may BE out here..."

"Well, at least we're out here, right? And not in there still, with THEM," Meadow said, smiling, "Cheer up, Richardson. Things are good."

Things are good.

He sneered and heard a bird caw, his head snapping upward, towards the trees overhead, as his mind wandered.

                                                                                                     ***

"Richardson?"

"Yeah Clara?"

"What are these?"

She nudged some of her food across the floor of her cage to the end so he could see them. He looked at them for a moment, thought for a few seconds, and then nodded.

"I think those are just a different type of sunflower seeds," he said, "They should be good. You like sunflower seeds, right?"

"Yeah," Clara replied.

"Well there you go."

Richardson had wanted so badly to be housed in the same cage as she, but it wasn't to be. No rabbits were ever housed together. But, their cages were placed right next to one another, probably to give them some comfort and familiarity within their new home in the lab, and that helped a bit. At least she was nearby. Richardson and Clara never really interacted with "The Collective", as Gerry had dubbed them. He even hated the name. Like they were something of importance and not just test animals. As if they had a purpose other than that.

So Richardson and Clara kept to themselves, give or take, and Richardson always looked out for her so she never got involved in anything. He and Clara would play games alone or sit and talk about things, talk about the outside, about home, about life before...well, whatever THIS was. He missed her badly. She was all he had left, and she was not here now, and it killed him inside. He just hoped she was alright, no matter what had happened. She deserved better. So much better. Just then, a soft but somewhat raspy voice behind a rock nearby broke his state of concentration, and he stopped thinking about her.

"Hey," it said, forcing him to look toward the rock and see a fox kneeling behind it.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Come with me," she said, "We need to talk."

                                                                                                      ***

Clara had been born a few years after him, making Richardson the older brother.

The interesting thing about them was they were the only children their parents had. For some reason their mother only ever gave birth to the two of them. Richardson expected perhaps she had some sort of fertility issues, but either way, it made their family very concise, very small and warm, and he wouldn't ask for it any other way. He made sure to watch over Clara no matter where they were or what they were doing. Sometimes they'd go out in the middle of the day and play with the baby cows near the farm house they lived by, and some days they'd go out with their dad to collect food, but mostly it had always been a small but loving family.

Until that morning in November, when he and Clara were asleep and were woken by the sounds of gunshots ringing out into the morning sky. At first nothing happened, but after a few minutes, their mother crawled into the burrow with them, covered in blood, a hole in her side, her breaths weakening with every passing second. She told them someone had shot their father and he'd died on the spot, and then they'd aimed at her but she'd managed to make it home. She died later that day, leaving Richardson in charge of watching Clara. While Clara was napping that afternoon, Richardson sat with his mother as she lay dying, and he remembered their final conversation to this very day.

She'd looked at him and said, "Never leave her alone, please. The world is full of evil."

"I won't," he replied, "I promise, I won't. I'll protect her, no matter what."

"Richie," his mother said, "Be careful and don't trust anyone. Everyone will always have a ulterior motive."

"I won't mom. I promise I'll keep us safe."

She died a few hours later.

They were captured and sold to the lab within days after this.

And he'd failed at keeping her safe.

                                                                                                        ***

"Where are you taking me?" Richardson asked, walking alongside the fox.

"To him," she said, "He wanted to see you. He's been watching The Burrow and all the rabbits who inhabit it, and he feels you are the one who could use his help the most."

"What're you, his secretary?" Richardson asked, making the fox smirk.

"I'm just a partner, no more, no less. He keeps us safe, negotiates with other animals so nobody harms us. He's a lot more convincing than most give him credit for. That's how he's able to survive as well as he has for so long. Kevin would be wise to take his advice."

"Kevin would be wise to take anyones advice. He's not too hot on his own," Richardson said.

"You're not very fond of him, I take it," the fox replied.

"Is it that obvious?" Richardson asked, "What's your name anyway?"

"Minerva," she said.

"Well Minerva, I appreciate being given the opportunity to speak to him, but I'm not sure if I want his help, given what's happened between us all. You must understand," Richardson said, and she chuckled.

"Believe me, I understand. I know what he did. I do not condone it. That being said, I also understand the need to survive, as I'm sure you do. He did what was necessary to save himself. Isn't there someone you wish to save?" she asked, eyeing him.

"...." Richardson thought for a few moments, but didn't respond. He knew the angle and the power plays. He wasn't stupid. In fact, he only had one flaw, and that was that he loved his little sister.

As they approached the enormous hollowed tree and entered it, they saw Dodger sitting in the center, chewing on a berry and scratching something into the dirt in front of him. As he noticed them, he quickly erased it with his paws, finished his berry and stood up to greet them.

"Thank you Minerva," he said as she nodded and walked past him, "Hello Richardson. I'm not sure we've ever been properly introduced."

"Your reputation precedes you," Richardson said, "Let's cut the shit. What am I doing here?"

"We can make a deal," Dodger said, "I need your help."

"With what?"

"I know you want your sister."

"...how can you-"

"Do you know how much fucking time I spent in that lab? Getting to know those rabbits? You think I didn't notice every single little thing going on in there? Please. I just want to help reunite a family, because nothing is more important than having someone you care about...but I also need something from you."

"Depends on what it is," Richardson said, wanting to be strong, but also wanting so badly to accept the deal if it meant seeing Clara again.

"I need something from the lab," Dodger said, "But you won't be able to make it in alone. You're going to need to convince Kevin and Number Two to get into the lab with you. Kevin shouldn't be hard. Number Four is sick and he'd be hopping, no pun intended, at the chance to get something to help her. So you phrase it as a way to help her, but really you're getting me something and you're getting something for yourself in return. I will tell you exactly how to get in and out without anything going wrong. I know the place backwards and forwards."

"And what if Kevin doesn't go for it?" Richardson asked.

"You MAKE him," Dodger said, grinning.

"...I don't think I can do this," Richardson said.

Dodger looked at Minerva, and then back at Richardson and sighed.

"Come with me, Richardson. There's something I want you to see," he said.

                                                                                                       ***

Richardson and Clara had been wary of Dodger the second he'd entered The Collectives life.

Here was a mouse, who somehow knew everything to do, and was willing to rescue them all? Seemed suspicious. But Clara was more hopeful than he was, because she was younger. She wanted badly to return to the wild, and now here was a a savior; someone who was going to rescue them all, and her brother, her brother whom she'd always trusted, was saying it was too good to be true?

"I don't know if he's lying or not, but I guarantee he's not doing this just for us," Richardson said, "Nobody just does something for others. They always have another reason."

"Mom and dad protected and took care of us for no reason other than they loved us," Clara said, "Is it really so hard to think someone else can't care about us too?"

"Clara, he's not...he's not even a rabbit."

"So you're saying because he's not a rabbit he can't care about other species?" Clara asked, "That doesn't seem fair. I care about other species."

"That's because you're not bad, and he's bad, I can feel it," Richardson said, "Listen, I'll keep you safe, alright? We'll just stay here, and we'll ignore the entire escape and we'll be fine. If we followed him the way the rest of them are, I guarantee you something terrible would happen, and I just can't risk anything happening to you. I love you."

Clara smiled and nuzzled up to her brother, "I love you too, but I also love the outdoors, and I miss it."

"Just promise me you'll listen to me."

"I promise."

Come the morning of The Incident, she did what she had said. She stayed behind with Richardson and when everything went to hell, she realized how right he was, about Dodger and about everything else. But then Salt came around, and Salt proved that others can actually care about them, and when a new escape was proposed, Richardson once again made her promise not to leave, and she promised again. This time, however, she was lying, and come the morning of the new escape, she snuck out while he slept and joined the others. When he woke, he was furious, and raced to find her, and once he found out where the other rabbits were, he went to take her back to their cages, but instead got pushed into the group that was getting shoved into the sewage drains. As he was pushed down the hole, he caught a single glimpse of his little sister, and he had never forgiven himself since.

When waking up outside after the escape, he just stood at the treeline and stared at the lab, thinking about Clara, thinking about the ones who didn't get out. Whether they were getting punished for this little attempt, or worse. He couldn't get that last image of her out of his head, and he wasn't even sure she had seen him, but he knew that once she was back in the lab with the rest of The Collective that she must've thought he'd abandoned her or something. He couldn't have her thinking that, and even if she wouldn't come with him next time, he had to at least tell her it was a mistake, and he had only been looking for her. Not trying to leave without her. Now he was being given the chance, but at what cost?

                                                                                                           ***

"Richardson, did you know I had a wife and a child?" Dodger asked.

"Fascinating," Richardson said, sounding both frustrated and bored somehow simultaneously.

"Well, don't sound so interested, please," Dodger said, chuckling, "I went into the lab to find them, and I did find them, but I couldn't rescue them, and she ate our child, and then did herself in. That hurt so much. That's why I want to help you, because I know what it's like to lose someone you love, someone that's family. I know you didn't mean to come out here, because you didn't join us that first time, so-"

"I didn't trust you, and obviously I was right," Richardson said.

"It's in the past, no reason to be cruel," Dodger said, "Besides, I am trying to be a better mouse these days, if you can't tell. I'm doing you a favor, with, yes, something for myself thrown in to boot. But really it's for you. I know what it's like, Richardson. I know how angry you must feel. How scared she must be without you. Nobody, friend or not, deserves to feel that way. Losing them...it ruined my world, because they were my world. What do you do when your world ends?"

Richardson had to admit, he felt a little bad for Dodger, and he did have a point. Finally they came to a stop outside the tree, right behind it, and Richardson looked around, confused.

"So...you wanted to show me something?" he asked.

"Yes," Dodger said, pulling the large leaves off of the hole in front of them, "Look."

Richardson leaned over and peered down into the hole, his eyes widening, his jaw slacking.

"...holy fuck," he whispered.

Inside were all the mice Dodger had helped escape, the bones of a lot, and the terrified faces of others. He looked from the hole back to Dodger for a moment, before returning his attention to the hole.

"What...what the hell is this? Who are they?"

"They're the mice I took with me when I left," Dodger said, "I told them I'd protect them, and then I realized I couldn't even protect myself, so I found Minerva, and I struck a deal. She'd protect me if I let her eat them. Her partner is raising their pup in another tree, and she only stays at night, but we both get something out of this partnership, much like the partnership I'm now offering you. The difference is, she didn't balk at it."

"...you're a goddamned monster," Richardson mumbled, "How...how could you do this to your own group?"

"Because that's what you do, Richardson, you make sure you survive, no matter what. Are you prepared to do what it takes to survive, to help her survive, or are you going to stick to your misguided morals?"

"...I refuse to be a part of your crimes," Richardson said through gritted teeth.

"Fine," Dodger said, "Maybe after spending some time with them you'll feel differently."

"What?" Richardson asked, spinning around to see Minerva bearing her teeth, snarling at him, as she chomped at him, pushing him backwards into the hole with the mice. She and Dodger peered down into the hole as he rolled off of his back and looked up at them.

"Let me out you goddamned psychopath!" he screamed.

"Everyone just needs a little time to think, Richardson," Dodger said, "We'll see you in a few days, and maybe by then you'll have reconsidered."

"Dodger! They'll notice I'm missing!"

"Nobody notices you, because you don't interact with anyone," Dodger said, laughing, "I'm not your worst enemy as it turns out. You are. Close it up, Minerva."

Minerva began pulling leaves back over the hole as Richardsons eyes grew, his fur standing up now, terrified.

"Dodger!" he screamed, "No, no wait, Dodger! Dodger! DODGER!"

And then it was black.
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"Gerry!"

His whiskers shifted, his eyes winced.

"Gerry!" she mumbled again, this time forcing him to wake up and slowly look around. He yawned, stretched and looked at Six in her cage, who was staring at him hard. He cocked his head, confused.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Look," she said, nodding at the table below them, and sitting atop the table was a birdcage. Gerry and Six couldn't take their eyes off of it. Could it really be? It couldn't be. There was no way. Gerry had to get down there and find out. He made his way out of the cage, Six right on his heels, and together they made their way down to the table, and stopped in front of the cage. Inside was a bird, who stopped eating upon seeing them.

"Hello," the bird said in a nice, soft voice.

"Do you remember us?" Gerry asked, glancing down at the tracker around her leg.

"I do," she said, turning to face them now, "I do remember you. You were here when I was brought in as a baby and they put this on me," she said, shaking the tag on her leg.

"You've just been living out in the wild?" Six asked, smiling, feeling good for the first time in ages.

"Yeah!" she responded happily, "Yeah, it's been great. I've learned how to build a nest and soon I'll be looking to meet someone and start a family. There's not that many predators out there, besides the foxes, but if you don't stay on the ground then they don't pose much of a threat."

"What's your name?" Six asked.

"Misty," she said, "What about you?

"I'm Six, and this is Gerry," Six said, motioning to Gerry, who just looked up at Misty and sighed.

"Misty," he started, "I know this is a weird thing to ask, but I HAVE to know...have you seen other rabbits out there? Maybe other rabbits that were once in here?"

"Hmmm...I mean, I do see other rabbits, but they're not ones like I see here. They're definitely wild. Though, a few weeks ago I did see two rabbits running somewhere, and one had this metal leg, and the other was missing half an ear, so, could they be who you mean?"

Gerry's heart stopped in his chest. Kevin and Number Two. They WERE alive! He couldn't believe it, he wanted to just scream at the top of his lungs. After all this time of wondering if they had even survived The Escape, now he knew for certain. He shut his eyes and nodded, almost crying.

"Thank you, thank you so so much," Gerry said, "Oh my god, you have no idea how long....how long I've wanted to hear that they are okay. If you see them, please tell them I miss them, and I hope to see them again. Did they look good?"

"They looked okay," Misty said, "And yeah, I'll let them know!"

Gerry turned and headed back to his cage, leaving Six behind to talk to the bird. Once inside, he heard Crisp getting into the cage with him and approaching him.

"So they ARE alive," Crisp said, sounding rather stunned herself, "But if they're alive, then why haven't they come back for us?"

"It's dangerous," Gerry said, "Look at how hard it was to GET OUT of here. God can only know how tough it can be to BREAK IN. I know Kevin won't leave me hanging. I know for sure Number Two won't leave anyone hanging. They'll be back. They have to."

"Gerry, I don't want you to get your hopes up..." Crisp said, making Gerry furrow his brow.

"Hey, no," he said, sounding annoyed, "No, you don't get to take this away from me. All I ever get is bad news, failure, setbacks, loss. No. This is one time I get to feel good, okay? I will get my hopes up if I want, because it feels a hell of a lot better than being miserable all the time, because even if it ends up not being true, at least, for just a little bit, I felt good, and that's better than nothing."

Crisp lowered her ears and looked at her paws.

"I just...I didn't want you to get hurt," she said, "But, fine, if you want to think like that, then go ahead. Who am I to stop you. You're right. Feeling bad all the time isn't good. But feeling good and then getting brought back to feeling bad only makes you feel even worse. Remember that, because trust me Gerry, that hurts a hell of a lot more than just staying sad."

Meanwhile, back down on the table, Six was still talking to Misty.

"So, you've never spoken to those other rabbits?" she asked.

"No, I don't really talk to anyone. I try and keep to myself. I'm kind of shy, and I also don't want to to get hurt," Misty replied as she preened her feathers.

"Understandable," Six said, "...is it pretty out there?"

"What?"

"Is it pretty in the woods? Out there. Where you live."

"Oh, yeah, it's really pretty," Misty said, "Especially my nest. I put it high up in a tree and it's surrounded by leaves so not even other birds can see me, which will help protect my eggs when it comes time to lay them. It's wonderful."

"I'd love to see it," Six said wistfully, "I want so badly to feel the wind."

"The wind is great," Misty said, "Nothing feels better on the wings than a cool breeze. And when the sun first comes out in the morning and comes through the branches, oh, it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I'll show you sometime!"

Six smiled, feeling maternal, "That would be nice. I would love to see where you live, and I am so happy to see you have grown up so well. When THEY first brought you in, I was so terrified THEY were going to hurt you or something, because it seems like that's all THEY ever do, but...but to know you were let go, watching them put that tracker on you...god...it gave me hope, and now seeing you back here, perfectly healthy and kind...it gives me even more hope."

"I think I called you mama," Misty said, laughing, making Six laugh as well.

"You did!" Six said, "Yeah, heh...yeah. I've...I've never had any children, so it was weird, but...I appreciate the fact that an animal as good as you could mistake me for your mother."

Six sighed, and started undoing the front of the birdcage, climbing inside and walking up to Misty. Misty looked down at Six, opened her wings, and hugged her, letting Six sob into her feathers. All this time Six had thought nothing good ever happened. That only evil befell those who came to this place. But here...here was irrefutable proof. Not only were their friends alive, but so was this wonderful bird, this baby bird they once knew, now fully grown and well adjusted. There WAS some good.

Gerry and Crisp had stopped their rather heated discussion and were now just standing at the edge of the table above, watching this scene unfold below them. It was the first time he'd ever seen Six be this open emotionally. She'd been emotional before, but not like this, and it made him realize how much she had needed some sort of hope. He looked at Crisp, who just shook her head.

"One day," she said, "One day something really, really bad will happen to someone you care about, and you're going to have to remember that not everything is good. That with the good comes even more bad."

"I know the world is mostly bad," Gerry said, "That's why I love the good when it comes. Because it isn't much and it isn't often but it's beautiful."

Crisp sighed and headed back to her own cage as Six and Misty continued talking, with Gerry smiling on, watching some good finally happen in their home.

                                                                                                     ***

It wasn't that much later that THEY replaced the tag and Misty was set off again, but the brightness her mere presence had brought to the lab was much needed and much thanked for. Now night time, Gerry sitting in his cage, looking out at the lab around him, he heard Six getting into his cage and approaching him.

"Hey," he said, "You seemed like you had a very nice today."

"It was wonderful," Six said, "For the first time since being here, I feel happy. I feel like there are good things that can happen in this world, even in this lab. I've been waiting to be told or shown that there could be success and happiness and hope. I tried so hard to stay upbeat after The Incident, and then after The Escape, but it became so very hard, Gerald, but now...god, now I feel like a totally reborn bunny."

"I'm happy for you, Six. I cannot believe Kevin and Number Two are alive," Gerry said, "I just...god I can't wait to see them again, hear the sound of their voices, and..."

"I'm sure they'll be happy to see you too," Six said, yawning, "I'm going to bed, Gerald. Have a nice night."

As she turned and began to hop off, Gerry looked at her.

"Six," he said, making her stop and turn back.

"Yeah?"

Gerry hopped up to her and looked her in the eyes.

"Today taught me that you have to take happiness where you can get it, because there isn't much of it and a lot of it doesn't mean anything because it can be so easily destroyed. You were the first friend I made in here besides Doug, and I...well, I'm just glad you're here, that you're still my friend and that you'll hopefully leave with me when the time comes."

"...of course I will, Gerry. You know that I'm on your side," she said, making him smile. He then leaned in and nuzzled her cheek, and she blushed before turning and leaving. As Gerry lay himself down in his hay and shut his eyes, he couldn't believe his luck. For once a day went by without anything bad happening. Without anyone dying or getting hurt, or anyone leaving. A good day. And it was good to have a really good day.

Because there were a lot of bad days coming.
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"Gerry!" Kevin said, "Gerry, what're you doing?"

"This thing is clogged! If I can get it on maximum, it can unclog it and take you and Number Two with it!" Gerry said.

"But...but you and Six, and the others, they won't.." Kevin started, but Gerry interrupted.

"Kevin," Gerry said, his fur rife with sweat and blood, "You have to do this, you have to do it now or it's all for nothing. Just please, do it for me. I believe in you. You can do this."

"Gerry," Kevin said, Number Two behind him, the tip of his right ear missing as he looked back and forth between the exit, Kevin and Gerry, "I can't...I can't just..." Kevin continued.

"Do it for me, Kevin. Be. a. hero," Gerry said, out of breath, on the verge of tears, "You have to do this now, because...because we're out of time, Kevin. We're out of time."

"I'm not going without you!" Kevin screamed, his face not even an inch from Gerrys, "Where is she, where's Salt?!"

"It doesn't matter anymore, Kevin, just go!" Gerry shouted back, his eyes, like Kevins, brimming with tears, "Just go, man, get them out of here! They're counting on you!"

"Gerry," Kevin said, looking in his eyes, "Gerry, you don't have to do this, you don't...it doesn't have to be this way..."

"...Goodbye Kevin," Gerry said, shutting the hatch, and his paws finally feeling something he could twist, turning the water on full blast. The water shot through the ducts, drenching Gerry as he watched Kevin and Number Two get blasted down the tubes. The last thing Kevin saw of Gerry, he was being lifted out by one of THEIR hands.

Then he lost consciousness.

                                                                                                     ***

When Gerry woke that morning, the first thing he thought about, just like the last few months, was that day. Was Kevin, specifically, actually. The last words he'd said was "goodbye", which now seemed appropriate, seeing as nobody had come back for them. Gerry stretched, yawned and then hopped over to the little feeder in his cage and started nibbling on some breakfast. As he did this, he looked at the cage beside him and noticed Six was still laying there, just staring ahead.

"You have to eat something," he said, sighing, "Come on. This isn't doing yourself any favors."

"We were so close," she said softly, "So close and...and they haven't come back."

"We don't even know if they're ALIVE," Gerry said, "And even if they are, I wouldn't blame them for not coming back."

"You aren't even mad that they might be alive and not come back for us? After all you did for them. After putting yourself on the line so many times, after losing Doug? Fern? All their sacrifices mean nothing to you, Gerald?" Six asked, sitting up and glaring at him. He just sighed.

It'd been like this since they left. Not even Salt had been back to see them, as she'd had to escape that same night to avoid being eaten by the dogs, so neither side knew what had become of the other, and Salt was too terrified to try and go back. Gerry looked around at their surroundings. He knew, deep in his heart, that Six had a point. He just didn't want to think that after all they'd been through together, Kevin or Number Two had simply abandoned them.

"You know," another female rabbit named Crisp said from across the room, "Why SHOULD they care? They got what they wanted. If you had managed to escape, would YOU have come back?"

"Don't pull that. That's what Dodger said to me," Gerry said, annoyed, "That none of your matter, that I could leave with him and let you all die here, but I couldn't do that, because you're all important to me."

"Then you're an idiot," she continued, "Because that's exactly what you should've done. Once you're out of here, why would you ever care? You know why you care? Because you're surrounded by us daily, but if you never had to see us, why would you think about us?"

"What would you be doing right now if you were out?" Six asked Gerry, making him ignore Crisp and turn back to her.

"Um...I don't know, probably laying on some grass and resting, honestly. Just...relaxing without the fear that any second now that relaxation will come to an end for the sake of tests that benefit nobody but THEM."

"That sounds nice," Six said, "I'd like that too. I'd like to go outside and smell some flowers or have a bath in a pond...it's not fair."

"Six, it'll be okay, I promise," Gerry said, hopping to the other side of his cage so he could be closer to her, "You'll be alright, and you'll eventually get that bath and get to smell those flowers. We'll get to lay on that grass. I promise, okay?"

Six merely nodded, silently, and then rolled to her other side, away from him, and went back to sleep. Gerry walked back to the other side of his cage and reached through with his paw, tapping the bars to the cage across from him.

"Hey," he said, "Melvin, hey."

A small, light brown rabbit with spots of white on him, turned around to face Gerry, a sunflower sticking out of his mouth. He swallowed it and turned fully.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"What would you be doing right now if you were outside?" Gerry asked.

"I don't wanna go out there," Melvin said, "I'm glad we didn't escape. It's scary out there."

"Yeah, but you...you're like, in control of your own life out there."

"Yeah. I can't handle that much responsibility," Melvin replied, "If I was out there, I'd likely be trying to find a way back in here. That's what I'd be doing right now."

Gerry couldn't believe his ears. Nobody who'd been forced to stay was interested in leaving, and it was starting to take a toll on his own hope. He walked back to a corner of his cage, settled down and rested his head on his paws. He felt tears swell up in his eyes, as he thought of Kevin. Where WAS he? Why hadn't he come BACK?

                                                                                                           ***

About a week following The Escape, Gerry helped himself out in the evening to go and see Jasmine.

Jasmine hadn't participated, hadn't even seemed interested, and yet he felt he needed to consult with her regarding the whole situation. He found her in her cage, as always, but she didn't seem right. She seemed cold and sad. As Gerry wriggled his way into her cage, he didn't even get to open his mouth before she spoke.

"I figured you'd be coming to see me," she said.

"Boy that's spooky," Gerry remarked, making her smirk.

"What am I to you, Gerald? Your conscience? Your moral compass? I'm very curious why it is you keep coming to me, a rabbit so clearly disinterested in going along with your Collectives plans," Jasmine said, turning to face him.

"I...I'm not using you or anything, I just-"

"Gerald, I may be blind visually but I'm not blind mentally," she said, "I can still see perfectly clear how you view me. It's the same way you view everyone else around you. Kevin was nothing more than someone you could confide in, Six is nothing more than someone to find comfort in, Doug was nothing more than someone to find a laugh in. We're all just parts and pieces to your whole. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, you DO care, but...at some point you have to stop making us into something and work on making yourself into something."

"...I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was coming off that way," Gerry said, lowering his ears, "I just...I needed to talk to someone about what happened. I feel like I failed, and-"

"You always feel like you failed."

"I know, but-"

"Your problem, Gerald, is that you look at failure as a bad thing instead of as a learning experience. When I realized I'd never see, I thought to myself 'well this is just unfair, I am the worst' but it heightens other sense, and it makes you not take them for granted. These rabbits aren't just a cause, they're your friends. Don't take them for granted."

Gerry nodded and then started crying.

"I miss him," he said weakly.

"Who?"

"Kevin," Gerry said, "I feel like...like he was the only one who really understood what I was feeling. Sure, we didn't agree on everything and sure we had differences of opinions on how to go about stuff but he got it, Jasmine, he GOT it. He knew I only wanted the best and he went out of his way, even though he didn't believe in himself and was terrified, to help make my dream a reality. I feel like I've lost my other half."

"Oh....darling," Jasmine said, hopping to him and nuzzling his ear, "I'm so sorry."

"Why hasn't he come back for me?!" Gerry sobbed loudly, "Where IS he?!"

Jasmine merely shook her head and tried to console this poor, lost little rabbit, knowing full well she wouldn't be able to give him what he wanted. No. He didn't need her. He needed Kevin.

                                                                                                      ***

If there was one thing that Gerry had learned in his time being in this lab, it was this:

Never expect someone to be there tomorrow.

Steve, Doug, Fern...the list goes on and on. All these friends. All of them gone. Now more than half The Collective was gone as well, but for a happier reason at least. Laying there in his cage, staring at the wall, he could hear something shuffling. Gerry sat up and looked about, only to spot Crisp climbing out of her cage and heading to the air vent. He quickly followed, a little bit behind so that she wouldn't notice him. He found her at the vent where Dodger had escaped from, and he approached her cautiously.

"I'm surprised they fixed this," he said.

"Yeah...me too," she replied.

"What're you doing out here?"

"Just looking at the forest," Crisp said, "Sometimes when everyone is asleep, I'll come and look at the forest and the moon and think about being out there, and think about why I didn't get to leave too. It's not that I don't want to go, it's that I just don't think I'm allowed. I think I'm going to die in this lab."

"No more rabbits are going to die in this lab, I can at least assure you of that," Gerry said, saddling up beside her now.

"...it's weird. I never once believed anyone could get out, but then you got them out."

"I didn't just get them out, Kevin and Number Two helped, so did Salt."

"Yeah but you were the one, originally, who believed escape was possible. Who believed in a better life. I'm sorry that I snapped at you earlier. I'm just...confused. Part of me wants to think they'll come back and part of me realizes they never will, because why should they? They're free. Why risk capture again simply to save us?"

"Because they're our friends."

"If they're our friends, then WHERE are they, Gerry?"

Gerry looked out at the forest and sighed. He'd been wondering this same question himself lately. Where were they? The only solace was that sometimes, when he did look out this vent, he would imagine Kevin sitting out there somewhere, looking at the same moon he was looking at, and knowing they were still connected in one way or another.
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"There's just not enough around for variety," Kevin said as he hopped to another bush and started pulling berries off it, "I feel like all I do anymore is find the same two things to eat. I either wanna find something else entirely, or I wanna do something else entirely."

"That's the leadership spirit we all admire so much," Number Two said, smirking as Kevin continued griping under his breath. Mipsy came up to Number Two and held her bag out so he could look into it.

"Is a lot, yeah?" she asked, and he smiled, nodding as she added, "I'm doing good job?"

"You're doing excellent," Number Two said, "Just try that bush over there now, see what you can find, okay? We'll be right here."

Mipsy nodded and headed on towards a new bush as Kevin came up to Number Two, the both of them watching her.

"Why'd you invite her?" Kevin asked.

"You need to get to know the other rabbits here if you intend to keep them alive. You can't know what's best for everyone if you don't know them at all," Number Two said, "Besides, she wanted to come. She likes to help."

"Can I ask you a question?" Kevin asked as Number Two spit more berries into his bag.

"Always."

"Do you think I'm doing as good a job as Gerry would've?"

"Hard to say since he didn't get out. Who knows how he would've done. All I can say is that you take action and Gerry, unless pushed, is all talk, from what I have seen. His heart's in the right place, but he's lacking in actual motivation. It's not that I think he doesn't care or doesn't want to help, I think he's crippled by the concept of failure, especially when it can effect lots of other rabbits and not just himself. I think The Incident really screwed with him," Number Two said.

"Dodger," Kevin said.

"Yeah, what Dodger did was wrong and I think it messed Gerry up for-"

"No, Number Two, it's Dodger," Kevin said, interrupting him as Number Two now looked up to see Dodger sitting on a rock in front of them. He looked haggard, dirty, like he'd been through a lot. His fur was scruffy, and he was covered in dirt. Nobody said a thing for a minute, until Dodger sat up, wiped himself off a bit and smiled slightly.

"Hey guys," he said, "How's it goin'?"

"You look like crap," Kevin said.

"I'm well aware," Dodger said, laughing a little, "It's been tough out here. Things aren't easy, even for me. You guys seem like you're not doing too bad though."

"If you want me to believe for a second that you just happened upon us, I want you to know I'm not buying it," Number Two said sternly, "Now what is it you want?"

"...I don't want anything..." Dodger said, sighing, "I understand it must be hard to trust me, given all I've done, but...I want you to know that this isn't anything other than seeing you out here like me and wanting to catch up. I have no ulterior motives. How could I? There's nothing pitting us against one another out here, so what good would it do to fight you?"

"He has a point," Kevin mumbled, as Number Two furrowed his brow.

"So how're things going for you?" Dodger asked.

"We've found a burrow, we find food pretty easily," Kevin said, calmly but cautiously.

"Everyone doing alright?"

"Pretty much," Kevin said, "You don't look too hot though."

"I'm not doing too great, no, it's true," Dodger said, smiling, "No, I've been feeling a bit sick lately. But I'm sure it'll pass. So where's Gerry? Back at the burrow?"

Kevin and Number Two exchanged glances before Kevin said firmly, "Gerry isn't here."

"What? What...you...you mean he's still in that place?" Dodger asked.

"As far as we know," Number Two said, "We're not even sure if he's alive. Not everyone made it out of there. We were lucky we managed to get as many out as we did, to be honest."

"Bad mouse," Mipsy said, approaching the group now, making Dodger chuckle.

"Yes, I guess I was a bad mouse...I was selfish, I made poor decisions and used you all, but I...I didn't have much of a choice," Dodger said, "I hope one day you can maybe forgive me."

"Where are you staying, Dodger?" Number Two asked.

"Eh, over near a creek, living in a tree. It's not bad, but sometimes the squirrels can be rude," he replied, "Otherwise it's peaceful as anyone can ask for, I suppose. Getting food back to the tree can be kind of tough, considering I'm so much smaller than you guys are and don't have much help. Sometimes I'll run into another animal that may help me, but otherwise I'm pretty much on my own."

"We should go home," Mipsy said quietly, backing away from Dodger, clearly frightened of him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you in any way, I just thought I'd say hey," Dodger said, backing away now, "I'll just go, okay?"

He turned and started to walk back into the forest until Kevin stepped forward.

"Dodger," he said, making Dodger turn to face him again, "Um...would it be possible to go back and get them if they're still there, you think?"

"Wha...where? The lab? To get Gerry and the others?" Dodger asked.

"Yes."

"I mean, anything is possible, I don't see why not. At this point I think we all know that place inside and out, so it shouldn't be too tough, especially if it's only a small group that goes in," Dodger said, "But you don't even know if he's alive."

"I know, but Four is sick, and if they have something that can help her, or maybe stave off the illness a bit more, then I also could go back for that," Kevin said, "I'm just asking, do you think it's possible."

"I think anything is possible," Dodger said, "I really do, if you're willing to do what has to be done. Sometimes to obtain things means making tough decisions. Decisions not everyone will be happy with. It just depends how much what you're working towards means to you."

"Four means the world to me," Kevin said softly, "But you do think it's possible?"

"If you only take a few rabbits, sure. I think it's possible," Dodger said, "I wish you the best of luck with that, if you decide to do it. And, if you do get Gerry out, if he's alive, tell him I'm sorry for everything. I really am."

With that, Dodger turned and walked off into the woods as Number Two glared at Kevin.

"What?" Kevin asked.

"Never tell him anything," Number Two said, "I don't care how disheveled he looks, I don't care how pathetic he seems, never trust him for a second. He'll use everything you tell him against you. Trust me on this."

Number Two turned and started to head off to a new bush to continue collecting food. Kevin looked at Mipsy, who just blinked out of unison at him and cocked her head to the side.

"What?" Kevin asked.

"He's bad mouse," she said, "But...you want to save Number Four, and that sweet."

"I took this role, to lead and protect us all, no matter what the cost and no matter who it was," Kevin said, "I intend to fulfill that goal."

"You good leader," Mipsy said, "I like you."

Mipsy then also turned and followed Number Two, leaving Kevin there alone. He glanced back at the spot where Dodger had disappeared back into the woods, and he sighed. He knew they were both right. Dodger couldn't be trusted, but he seemed so run down, so exhausted, and so dirty. He didn't look very well. And Dodger had another point as well...what was left out here to take from them?

Once Dodger hit the treeline, he walked a bit and found the fox sitting beside a tree waiting for him. He walked over to her and she started cleaning him off with her tongue.

"Kevin is too easy," Dodger said, "It's no fun if it's easy."

"You like a challenge," the fox said in between licks.

"Well, at least Gerry was somewhat of a challenge," Dodger said, "He has that fire inside of him. Kevin is just...so blah. He's got no real rage. Not anymore anyway. Not since being out here, where everything is much easier for him. Nothing to fight against. Except for Fours health..."

"So where do we go from here?" the fox asked.

"You know what to do," Dodger said, "Bring him by the tree. We'll make a deal."

"Will do," the fox said, as the two of them began heading back to their tree.

There was just one thing Dodger was wrong about. Kevin DID have the fire inside of him. It just wasn't easy to spot like it was with Gerry. That's what made him dangerous. He fought only when necessary, when provoked, and he would make sure he won, no matter what the cost. At this point in his life, failure was not an option in Kevins eyes.

There'd been enough of it already.
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Richardson was never one to be a "team player".

He was a solitary rabbit, always watching Gerry and Kevin make plans and lead the rest of The Collective into one thing or another, never speaking up, never making his feelings known. But sitting here, watching Kevin defend leaving The Lab to the other rabbits while Number Four got sicker and sicker, he couldn't leave well enough alone anymore. His ears laid back, he felt a presence to his side and glanced over to see another rabbit standing there, with a small, round piece of metal attached to one of her ears and attached to a small piece of tubing that attached to another round piece of metal that was stuck to her fur.

"What are they doing?" she asked.

"Arguing. Always arguing," Richardson said.

"Why?"

"I don't know, Mipsy, it's just what they do," he replied, sighing, "It's all anyone does."

Meanwhile, in the crowd, he wasn't wrong. It WAS all anyone did. Most of The Collective thought it was stupid to not take Four back to The Lab and leave her there, but Kevin wouldn't hear of it. Thankfully, he had Number Two on his side as well.

"Imagine if one of your kids were sick, Meadow," Number Two said, "Would you want to just leave them by themselves at that place?"

"Well, of course not, but if it meant it might save them, then-"

"No, you're saying that, but when it comes down to it, you wouldn't be able to do it," Kevin said, "Four is one of us. She's just as important as any one of us. She's not contagious, she's not a threat to our health, and I will NOT even entertain the concept of leaving her alone there with THEM."

"But she COULD be helped!" Meadow said.

"Meadow, THEY didn't help her before. They simply stuck her in The Sick, and gave her a small treatment every day that basically did nothing but stave off further problems," Number Two said, "Trust me, you don't want to go to The Sick. Kevin knows. I took him there to see her. It isn't a pretty place."

"I'm with Kevin," Richardson said, speaking up, hopping forward, "Much as I may disagree with him on many things, I do agree with him that taking her back to THEM is simply a step backwards and a betrayal. We already left half our group behind, but if we start taking some BACK too? That's unforgivable."

"Thank you...whatever your name is," Kevin said.

"That's Richardson," Number Two whispered, leaning towards Kevin.

"I'm a really bad leader," Kevin whispered back, making Number Two smirk at his joke.

"I don't necessarily agree with how the escape was handled, or with how things went down during The Incident, but I think here Kevin has a point. If we start turning on ourselves, how can we really depend on one another? You know? How can we build a community if we don't have trust with one another?" Richardson asked.

"Richardson gets it," Number Two said, "Richardson understands that we need to stick together, no matter what. That the moment we send someone back, that's the moment we lose ALL credibility. Someone sees that and thinks to themselves 'what's to stop them from sending ME back?' and that's not the sort of attitude that we want to cultivate for this burrow."

"I has a question," Mipsy asked, hopping forward, but stumbling a little, "Okay yeah?"

"Yes...?" Kevin asked.

"Mipsy," Number Two whispered, leaning towards him again.

"How do you know all these?!" Kevin whispered back.

"What THEY do to her?" Mipsy asked, blinking out of unison.

"Well, near as I can figure, they meant to test something on her and they gave her too much of whatever it was, and it made her ill, and since we've left, she's only gotten sicker, and I'm terrified because I don't know what to do about it," Kevin blurted out quickly, and then turned and looked away, hoping Number Two would take over, which he thankfully did.

"This is a community, but this isn't a community decision. This one is up to Kevin, and he's made up his mind, and frankly myself, and apparently Richardson, agree with him. That's that," Number Two said. With that, the group broke up and went back to their own spaces to spend the remainder of the evening. Number Two hopped over to Richardson and he sighed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to come off as rude or anything," Richardson said, "I hope I didn't offend Kevin in any way."

"No, he'll be fine," Number Two said, "I know for a fact he's happy to have as many other rabbits on his side as he can get."

Number Two turned and looked at Kevin sitting near the front of the burrow and began hopping over to him. He had his head against the wall and was gently banging it as Number Two came up to his side.

"I'm an idiot," Kevin mumbled.

"Oh, I wouldn't go THAT far. Moron MAYBE but..." Number Two said, making Kevin chuckle.

"Hey," Kevin said, glancing at him, resting his forehead on the wall, "Who was the other rabbit, the girl, the one with Richardson?"

"Mipsy? She's part of a group from another lab that was transferred to ours. Did you see that little metal thing attached to wire on her? They were supposedly testing out this new technology that would track brain waves. Anyway, from what I've gathered, it sort of...didn't work and she had a really bad reaction and it...how do I put this delicately...it's made her rather challenged."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'd LOVE to go back to THEM..." Kevin mumbled as Number Two sighed.

"Richardson is trying to help, strange as he may be," Number Two responded, "He really is against THEM. Now listen, there's no reason to worry, okay? Number Four isn't going anywhere, nobody can make her leave, and she will get better, alright? I promise."

Kevin shrugged and headed down the burrow towards his hole where Number Four was waiting, asleep. as Number Two watched him go, he felt Mipsy come up to his side.

"Hello," he said softly.

"Why...um...why everyone wanna...go back?" she asked.

"Nobody wants to go back, Mipsy, no, they're just worried about Number Four, and they think THEY would be able to help her more than we can out here," Number Two replied.

"THEY won't help," Mipsy said, her voice low and shaky, still blinking out of unison, "THEY don't help. THEY just hurt you. THEY hurt me. THEY'LL hurt everyone."

Number Two looked at her and knew she was right, and that she of all rabbits would know for sure about this as well, given what THEY had done to her. He sighed and smiled, patting a front paw of hers with one of his own.

"You are very smart," he said, "Don't ever let someone tell you otherwise."

Mipsy smiled and nodded as Number Two headed outside of The Burrow.

Back in his little space, Kevin found that Number Four was awake now, but only barely. She yawned, stretched and scratched her ears before really looking at him and smiling. He sat down beside her and she nuzzled her nose into his neck.

"What's going on?" she asked, coughing a little.

"Nothing much, just Collective discussion, you know, boring shit," Kevin said, "...can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," she replied.

"If you thought it would make you better, would you want to go back there?" Kevin asked, "If...if you thought THEY could fix you, cure you, would you want to-"

"No."

"I didn't think so, good," Kevin said, "That's exactly what I would've said."

He never came clean as to WHY he'd asked this, but he didn't really need to. She'd been getting the vibe lately that most rabbits were scared of her now, so she was pretty much able to figure it out on her own, and yet...yet she didn't care. She had Kevin. All they had was fear. Meanwhile, Number Two found himself outside, watching the stars overhead, feeling the cool forest breeze against his fur. He shut his eyes for a moment until he heard a crunching noise in front of him, and opened his eyes to see Salt standing there, chewing on a nut.

"Oh," he said, "It's you."

"What're you doin' out here?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, pondering my evergrowing despair and eventual demise,"he responded, as she nodded and finished her nut, wiping her paws on her fur.

"Right, right. How's everything?"

"Terrible, honestly...things are falling away quickly. How the hell can we have solidarity in our group if we can't even achieve it amongst three rabbits? There's no hope for this, Salt. I'm starting to really believe, hard as I try daily to believe the opposite, that we screwed up coming out here."

"Hey, you guys did what you had to, and now you're trying to find a new way to survive, alright? Things will work out," she said, "Number Two, life is a series of decisions. Good, bad, mediocre, right, wrong, whatever. Every single decision leads to a new decision, and it's up to us to make those decisions and then hope we picked the right ones down the line. BUT, just because we might've made a wrong decision that led to a bad reaction doesn't mean there isn't a right decision to be made from that wrong decision later on, you feel me?"

"I guess you're right. There's always ways to fix things," Number Two said, exhaling slowly, "I just feel so tired, Salt. I feel so tired from everything. I'm constantly having to back Kevin up and defend him to others, and that's when I'm not defending him to himself! It's exhausting."

"It'll get easier, man. Every day it's gonna get a little bit easier," Salt said, smiling as she patted him on the shoulder and then looked around, "I better start to go. Not safe for someone my size to be out here at night. Owls and all."

"Right," Number Two said, smiling, "Thanks for talking."

"Anytime."

With that, Salt turned tail and raced off into the forest.

"You guys really trust that mouse, don't you?" Richardson asked, surprising Number Two.

"Yeah, I mean, we wouldn't even BE out here if it weren't for her," he said.

"This is true. She's not like the other one. But she did fail us too. She didn't get us ALL out," Richardson said, "Gerry, Six, god knows who else is still stuck in there, or if they're even ALIVE. She did her best and her best wasn't good enough. That's sort of the situation we're all in right now, isn't it?"

"I'd think so sure, but that doesn't mean we can't continue to do our best and make it better," Number Two said, "I have a lot of faith in Kevin. I've watched him grow as a rabbit, grow into a leader, into something he claimed, and still claims, that he could never be. He won't do us wrong."

"Wish I could believe in something the way you do," Richardson said.

"Maybe one day you will. I'm heading in," Number Two said, yawning as he passed him by, "Night."

"Yeah. Goodnight."

Richardson was never one to be a team player.

Sitting out here, solitary once again, he thought about the friends they'd left behind, the friends they were endangering now, and how stupid it was to care about others. How it only put a target on yourself. And yet, he did care. He cared for Mipsy on some level, he cared that Number Four was sick, and most of all, he cared about her. She wasn't here now, but he cared about her still, and always would. And sure, Kevin had grown, and Kevin was being a good leader.

But even leaders make mistakes.
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"One of these gave me the runs yesterday and I don't remember which it was," Number Two said, "I think it was the blue ones. You know, one of the things I took for granted being in that lab was being fed. I didn't really think about the fact that I'd have to fend for myself out here."

"It's still a better life, even with the added responsibility," Kevin said as they started picking off some red berries and putting them in the satchels, "It's nowhere near as stressful, despite having more to do on a daily basis."

"How's Number Four feeling?"

"A little better, but every day it's one way or the other. Better one day, worse the next. It fluctuates," Kevin said, "But we're working on it. I mean, they made her ill and took her to The Sick, so it only makes sense that she's still trying to work past that illness."

"Kevin, what do you plan to do if she doesn't get better? You have to prepare for the worst possibilities," Number Two said, but Kevin didn't respond. He only furrowed his brow and kept picking berries. Number Two sighed and shook his head, adding, "I'm sorry, that seemed cruel of me, I just don't want-"

*BAM!*

It whizzed by in an instant, hitting the tree between them both. They glanced at the hole now firmly in the tree and then at one another, until another shot was fired. Kevin knew what this was. He looked at Number Two, his eyes wide with fright.

"Run." he said.

If there was one thing Kevin hadn't thought about when remembering his time outdoors, it was the hunters. He'd rarely had to run for his life but he'd come across one too many deer or ducks or, god forbid, other rabbits who'd just been shot or had been shot and left to die, all for sport. It was such a common occurance that it sickened him. Whole beings, with their own lives, friends, maybe even families, and shot down for what? It was one thing to kill an animal and put the corpse to use. Use it to feed your family. But to just kill something because you CAN? Disgusting.

As Kevin and Number Two skidded behind a bush and caught their breath, they could hear footsteps somewhere in the distance. Number Two looked at Kevin and shook, possibly trying to get the terror off of his body.

"What the hell is going on?" he whispered.

"It's a hunter," Kevin mumbled, "Do not move, do not make a sound, don't even peer around the tree. Any sight of slight movement and they'll fire. Just follow my lead and do exactly as I say."

"You've dealt with this before?"

"I have known rabbits who've dealt with this before," Kevin replied.

"So what do we do?"

"We run on my signal," Kevin said, waiting until the crunching of leaves and gravel stopped and then he nodded. The two of them shot through the thicket like a couple of rockets, roaring past brush and tree and stone alike. Suddenly, they stopped as they came to a large river. It was here that Number Two suddenly realized they'd gone in the wrong direction, putting further distance between themselves and The Burrow. He turned to Kevin, who was starting to look nervous.

"We're gonna have to cross it," Kevin said.

"Your goddamned foot is made of METAL. It'll rust!" Number Two exclaimed.

"Hey, I went down that giant disposal full of water and I'm fine, alright?" Kevin responded, as he started to look for a rock to start across on. Number Two sighed and looked at the berries in the satchel across his side.

"This wouldn't be happening if we were still in the lab," Number Two said softly.

Kevin slowly turned to face him, his brow furrowed, his voice low, "Don't you DARE say that."

"This is the kind of thing I was talking about, Kevin. Whenever Gerry would bring up why it was necessary to leave, I was talking about THIS. Safety? There's as much safety out here as there was in there, man. Just because we're in control of our lives doesn't make our lives any better. At least there we were fed, we were cleaned, we were spared being prey-"

"Yeah, to other animals," Kevin said, "And if you recall correctly, that wasn't exactly a promise," he added, shaking his metal foot.

"...I guess," Number Two said flatly, "I'm just saying, there were some pros to it."

"Let's save this for later," Kevin said, "Come on. Follow me."

And with that, the two of them headed across the river, one stone at a time.

                                                                                                   ***

It felt like hours they'd been traveling now, trying to find their way back towards The Burrow. Thankfully, the months they'd lived in these woods, they'd gotten pretty good at knowing their way around, so they weren't completely lost. They had, however, broken into the stashes of berries they were supposed to be bringing back, only so they would have more energy to keep on going. Kevin knew Number Two had a point. He just didn't want to admit it, and the silence only made things more tense. Yes, in some twisted way, Number Two was right, things were safer in the lab, but that safety came at its own risk.

"Kevin," Number Two finally said, "I'm sorry. I don't judge what decisions you've made, you know that. You got so many of us out of there, we I know plenty of rabbits who're grateful for that. For the opportunity to live free. But for some of us..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't know. It's hard to explain. So many of The Special Seven were only ever in the lab. We never knew anything else. That WAS home. This isn't home, and that's hard to adjust to, that makes sense, right?"

"It does," Kevin said, sighing, "But you know I wouldn't have gone through with it if I didn't think it was worth it, right? So many times I tried to tell Gerry it was a bad idea, or that I wasn't fit to lead anyone, and god knows what it got him. God knows how he is. IF he is."

"Don't talk about him like that."

"But we don't know, that's the thing," Kevin said, "And it's eating me up inside, man. He could be dead. He could've been dead since the day we left. But it just-"

"Shhh," Number Two suddenly said, his ears straight up, his fur rising, "I hear it."

Kevin went dead silent, and the two of them stood for a moment, unsure of where the hunter was coming from.  They listened for anything they could hear, any sort of shuffling or rustling; anything that would give any indication that someone was near and drawing every nearer. Kevin turned and looked at Number Two, who didn't move a muscle, didn't even blink. After a second, Number Two started to walk towards Kevin, when a bang rang out and a bullet whizzed between them, scattering them both to opposite sides. Number Two leapt behind a fallen log and Kevin hid behind a large rock.

Kevin was starting to think Number Two was actually right.

                                                                                                      ***

Kevin could recall a conversation and Number Two had mere days after escaping the lab.

They were seated outside, just enjoying the fresh air and the flowers around them, when Number Two cleared his throat, looked at his paws and asked very matter of factly, "Do you think we did the right thing?"

He wasn't baiting Kevin into admitting a mistake, he wasn't trying to start a fight, he was simply asking a very straight forward question. Kevin thought about this for a few moments, and then sighed and looked out at the field ahead of them.

"I think we did what was needed, not necessarily what was right," he said, "We needed to leave. Whether it was right or not remains to be seen, and who knows, we may not know if it was the right thing to do for a long time."

This answer seemed to not only surprise but also satisfy Number Two, who was rather content with it. He didn't ask any follow up questions, he didn't push Kevin to explain in great detail what he meant by that. He took the answer at face value and accepted it. But, it was starting to show that Kevin might've been right, too. That it took a few months, but now they were seeing it might not have been the right thing to do.

                                                                                                    ***

Kevin wanted to look out from behind the rock, he wanted to call out to Number Two and make sure he was okay, but he didn't want to risk making even the slightest peep. He knew that in doing so, he might just condemn himself and Number Two to being dinner that very night. He heard the sound of someone walking, a person, and speaking to themselves. He stayed perfectly still, silent, and waited. The person stopped in the middle of the space Kevin and Number Two had ran from, looked around for a moment, and then continued on their way. Once he was certain they were gone, Kevin let out a sigh of relief.

Number Two, from behind his fallen log, did the same. He was petrified, but he felt certain they'd finally lost their hunter. They could continue home now. He sighed, shifted his weight and stood up firmly, only to suddenly feel a knife jammed into his back right thigh. He screamed, and within seconds, the knife withdrew and the hunter was screaming as well. Number Two limped out from behind the fallen log to see Kevin, chewing on the mans ankles.

He didn't even wait for him to say it. Number Two simply turned and took off, fast as his damaged thigh could carry him. As he got further and further into the forest, he heard the sound of a few shots, and then silence. He slipped behind a bush and waited. God...had he just gotten their leader killed? Why didn't he go back for him? Number Two felt in that singular moment, that he was actually an enormous coward. He hadn't been a coward in the lab, but the lab was familiar. This was not. This was scary, and he was terrified.

And then

"Number Two?" Kevin asked, as he rounded the bush, startling him, "Let's go, come on, before he starts after us."

And the two continued on their way. Certain they'd lost him this time, they took their time and went at a more relaxed pace. As they neared The Burrow by nightfall, Number Two felt a slight nagging at his heart, and he drooped his ears to his sides.

"How's your thigh?" Kevin asked, and he merely shrugged.

"Kevin...what if...what if he finds other rabbits?"

"What?"

"Remember when we were out recently and we saw that other rabbit on the hill? What if he finds them? We should warn them, right? That there's someone out there hunting us for sport?"

"I'm sure they're aware if they've lived here long enough," Kevin said, "And honestly, kind as that sounds, it's best to let others be the prey if it allows you to live another day. I know it sounds cold, but..."

"No, no...you're right. You're always right, apparently."

"We'll fix your thigh when we get back okay? And maybe you sit the next few gathering trips out?"

"No," Number Two said, "No, I...I like having this time with you. And I'm sorry for what I said about the lab. Things were just as bad there if not worse. I know this. I do. Thank you for helping us escape."

This was the first time Number Two had ever shown Kevin any real sense of appreciation, and it felt nice. Kevin smiled and nodded at his friends sentiment.

"No problem," he said, "It was no problem at all."
Published on
The birds chirped peacefully, the night was coming soon, and a cool breeze blew through the trees, wafting the leaves softly. Everything was serene, beautiful, peaceful. And then, through the bushes broke two rabbits, racing quickly as shouts could be heard behind them.

"Where is he?!" Gerry screamed, as he and Kevin quickly turned and dashed through another number of bushes, the vial strapped to Kevins back, "Where did Number Two go?!"

"I don't know! I saw him go in another direction, but I don't know, I lost him!" Kevin shouted back.

"Did you hear that scream?" Gerry yelled, "That was him! That scream a few minutes ago! That was Number Two! Where did he go?!"

"I don't know, Gerald, just run! JUST. FUCKING. RUN!"

                                                                                         WEEKS EARLIER

"Kevin!" Number Two called out, as he waited and finally spotted Kevins ears pop up over a nearby hill.

"Yeah?"

"I found some!"

Kevin came bounding over the hill and the two of them start gathering up some of the berries and plant life they'd come to grow fond of since being in this area. Number Two would stand still, with the satchel attached around his back, as Kevin picked the stuff up in his mouth and put it all inside.

"God, sunlight feels good," Number Two said, "You know, they say it's the little things you take for granted until they're gone, but I don't see sunlight as being a 'little thing'. That's the goddamned sun. That's a pretty important part of living. Being out in it now, ooh boy, it feels nice on the fur."

"How's your ear?" Kevin asked as he dropped another load into the satchel.

"It's alright today, I guess," Number Two said, wriggling what was left of the ear he'd had ripped off, "Still stings a bit, but I've grown accustomed to it. No medicines now, man. Now we're responsible for our own bumps and bruises."

"You're tellin' me," Kevin replied, "Alright, that's a good amount, let's get these things back to The Burrow. I'm sure everyone is starving right about now."

Kevin turned and started to head off when he stopped and glanced back where Number Two was standing. He slowly approached him and waited, and then he noticed what Number Two was staring at. A few hills over, standing still and on their hind legs, was a dark brown female rabbit. She hadn't noticed them, she was grazing on and off, looking out into the distance the other direction. Kevin and Number Two lowered themselves to the ground and whispered.

"She's not one of ours is she?" Kevin asked.

"No, I've never seen her before," Number Two responded.

"We need to get back to The Burrow," Kevin said, and Number Two nodding, following close behind as they headed back. Hopping along the trail they'd blazed over the last few months, it was hard to imagine that the life they'd left behind had ever been the life they'd even lived. The Lab felt so far away now, when really it was just through the trees somewhere, just far enough removed that it seemed nonexistent. Everything felt strange, and unreal.

"So..." Number Two said, "Is she feeling any better?"

"Number Four? Nah. She's still feeling under the weather, but it's to be expected I suppose. You leave one environment you've grown accustomed to for so long behind, it's hard to adjust to something else with absolutely no problems."

"I guess," Number Two said, "Well, here's to her improving health."

"Hey," a voice said from a nearby rock, and the two froze instantly, terrified as they turned to see...a mouse.

"Oh, god, it's just Salt," Kevin said, approaching her, "Don't sneak up on us like that, come on. What're you even doing out here?"

"Checking in," she replied, "How're things going?"

"Going as well as can be expected," Number Two stated, "Thanks for the satchels by the way, they've really come in handy."

"Ah, you know I like to work with my paws," she said, blushing, "So, any news?"

"Not really," Kevin said, "Been pretty tame, quiet...you know what? It's been downright relaxing."

"That's great to hear," Salt said.

"Hey Salt, have you seen other rabbits around? Like...like rabbits that aren't from our group? We spotted this brown female rabbit just a few hills back, and she didn't see us but she's definitely not one of ours, so-"

"You're gonna run into that, yeah, you're sort of, ya know, outside now," she said, snickering, "But no I haven't seen anything. I try not to venture too far through the woods, being prey and all. But listen, I'm sure any other rabbits you find are just going to be wild and will be nice to you if you're nice to them. Law of the forest, all that crap."

"Sure," Number Two said, "Wanna walk with us back to The Burrow? I'm sure everyone would love to see you."

"I can't, I have other things I have to get done, but tell everyone I said hi," she said, "It was nice talking with you guys!"

And with that, the little mouse hopped down from the rock and skittered off into the woods somewhere. Kevin and Number Two continued their walk, taking their morning feast back to the rest of the Collective...or what had made it out anyway.

                                                                                                       ***

The Burrow, as it had come to be known to The Collective, was a cozy hole hidden under a tree that had been pulled by a storm to the right, thus allowing animals to dig holes underneath it and create a safe home. Since their move in, The Collective had furthered The Burrow, allowing them to all have their own little sections for privacy and comfort. Number Four was sitting in hers and Kevins area at that very moment, thinking about those last moments months ago in the lab...the last time they'd seen Gerry and Six and all the others...

Just then Kevin popped his head in, Number Two right behind him and his eyes met Number Fours, making her smile. She coughed, as she hopped over to meet him, while Number Two started to empty his satchel onto the floor. Number Four rubbed her nose against Kevins, making him blush.

"You guys were gone for a while, is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, we ran into Salt, she says hey. How're you feeling?" Kevin asked.

"Eh. I guess I'm okay," Number Four said, "Did you guys find much?"

"Found enough," Number Two said as he yawned, "I'm going to lay down for a bit."

Number Two turned and exited towards his own area, leaving Kevin and Number Four alone.

"I've been thinking a lot about...you know," Number Four said, "I just wonder how they're doing. It's not right that they're not with us right now. We don't even know IF they're okay, for god sakes."

"Well wondering and worrying yourself even sicker isn't going to help anyone, so have some food and try and relax," Kevin said, pulling some of the berries and leaves out of the satchel Number Two had dropped off. Just as she started to eat, another voice spoke from the entrance of their hole.

"Kevin?" it asked, and he spun around to see an older grey rabbit looking at him.

"Hey Meadow," he said, "How're you?"

"I'm okay. I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment," she said, and he nodded, leaving Number Four behind while she ate. He followed Meadow into the hall of The Burrow and she lowered her voice.

"Is she feeling any better? I have two babies to take care of, and I need to make sure they don't get sick too," Meadow said, and Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Meadow, I understand your concern, but trust me, this illness came from THEM. Nobody is going to catch it from her, okay? Everyone is totally safe here, I promise you that," Kevin said, "Besides, after all we've been through, do you think I'd let anything happen to you?"

"Well...no, you're right," Meadow said, "I'm sorry, this has all been such a tough adjustment."

"Tell me about it," Kevin said, chuckling, "But trust me on this, Meadow, nobody is going to get hurt here, I promise."

Meadow seemed satisfied with that, and she nodded, turned, and headed back down the hallway, back towards her spot where her little ones were sleeping. Kevin then went to another hole further down The Burrow, where he and Number Two kept most of the food they collected, and he grabbed a satchel and started dragging it throughout The Burrow, giving food to all of The Collective, keeping them happy and fed and comfortable.

Gerry had been right all along. Kevin WAS a leader.

                                                                                                       ***

That night, Kevin was sitting outside, watching the stars, when he felt a presence nearby. Number Four came hopping up beside him and coughed as she stopped, leaning against him.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" he asked.

"My cough is keeping me awake, and I was lonely. What're you doing out here?" she asked.

"Just admiring the night sky. Been a long, long time since I've seen it. It's gotten a little hard to get used to again. You shouldn't stay out here too long, you don't need to get any sicker," Kevin said.

"...I miss them," Number Four said.

"I know. I do too. I think we all do. And you're right, we don't even know if they're okay," Kevin said, "But Ellen, I promise that we will see what we can do, okay? We won't just leave them hanging, even though it's been a few months, we WILL rescue them, because it's what they'd do for us."

"Kevin-"

"No, I know nobody really believes it, but I am telling the truth, we are-"

"Kevin, look."

Kevin looked up and saw fireflies lighting up around them. They made a big smile break across Number Fours mouth and she nestled herself closer to Kevin, who finally just exhaled and relaxed. He always forgot he was allowed to let his guard down now. When you spend so long being on edge, it's hard to let yourself just BE sometimes. But this...this comfort that Ellen gave him, that was what he really needed most, and he appreciated it so very much.

"We will get them back," he whispered.

"I know. I believe you," she replied.

"...I love you," Kevin said, and she shut her eyes, smiling as she buried her face in his warm fur.

"I love you too," she said.

They used to go to sleep listening to the hum of machines, and now they went to sleep watching the glistening lights of fireflies. Life did get better.
Published on
"You're serious?" Boris asked, his jaw slightly ajar as he stood in front of Whittle in the main room. She was smiling, as she got his meds together in the little paper cups.

"Yep, it's all final, you've got Hendersons room, you move in later," she said, handing him the tiny cup, which he gleefully took and downed in an instant.

"This is fantastic!" he said, laughing, "Oh god, finally some good news. You have no idea how badly I needed a win lately...thank you for getting this approved, it really means a lot."

"It's no problem, Boris, really," Whittle said, "I gotta get these to everyone, I'll catch you later."

Whittle turned and headed off to give everyone their own little paper cups while Boris sat and looked out the nearby window. The world seemed brighter when you win, and he'd so rarely won that this wasn't a feeling he got to feel often enough. He didn't want it to ever go away. Suddenly he felt a presence beside his chair and looked up to see Burt standing there, drinking a glass of orange juice.

"What?" Boris asked, "Can't you see I was enjoying all the absence of you?"

"What's got you so happy?"

"I get a new room," Boris said, "Hendersons old room."

"But he DIED in there, it's gonna be haunted," Burt said, finishing his drink.

"Don't say that! You're going to jinx the whole thing!" Boris said, rubbing his face, "Besides Burt, if you die after that long, why would you haunt the fuckin' nursing home you died in? That's stupid. You'd wanna go anywhere else but here."

"I'm just saying, you're going to have a ghost roommate," Burt said, and just then they heard the front doors open and a man walked in. He appeared to be a priest, and he headed straight to the front desk to quietly speak to one of the men standing behind it. Boris and Burt were watching this closely when Carol walked up.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"We don't know," Boris said, "This guy just walked in. Priests never come here unless someone is about to bite it."

"God I hope it's Jacoby. I've had him on my pool for weeks now," Carol said.

The priest and the man behind the counter exchanged a few bits of words before politely exiting into the hall together. Boris stood up and headed after them, cautiously so as not to be seen, Carol and Burt right behind him. They peered into the hallway and saw the priest stop at a door at the very end of the hall with the man, and after a moment, the man opened the door for the priest and the priest entered, the man shutting the door after he entered before heading back to the main desk.

"Corey, what's a priest doing here?" Carol asked as the man, Corey, headed past them and back to the front desk.

"Miss Price isn't expected to make it through the night," Corey said, stopping to speak to them, one hand on his hip, his other hand rubbing the back of his head, ruffling his hair, "She requested a while ago that she have a priest come speak to her before she dies, read her her last rights."

"I didn't even know Bella was sick," Carol said, hand to her mouth, clearly somewhat upset, "God...every single day you lose someone important to you."

"Just go about your day, you guys, he won't be here too long," Corey said, continuing back to the front desk, leaving the three of them alone together. Carol didn't say a word, she just turned and waved a hand at the guys, heading off to be alone. Burt put his hands in his pants pockets and sighed as Boris glanced back down at the hall.

"This is hell," Burt said, "This is actually hell. Forget what the Bible says. THIS existence is what hell really is. Put in a home you have no control over, no way of leaving, nobody visits and you die alone, so many dreams unfulfilled."

"I'll see you later," Boris said, heading down the hallway, leaving a confused Burt there. As Boris approached the door, he knocked gently before entering and seeing the priest sitting on a stool next to the bed, reading from a book. Miss Price looked completely unconscious, but she was definitely still breathing.

"Hey, father," Boris said, waving casually as he entered and shut the door.

"Hello," the priest said, smiling, his short, scruffy brown hair and his piercing blue eyes surprising Boris, "Can I help you? Are you a friend of-"

"Not really," Boris said, pulling a chair from a nearby desk and sitting on the other side of the bed, across from the priest, "My name's Boris."

"Hello Boris, I'm father Kricket," he said, "It's nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too...so, how often do you have to do this? Come and read last rights and stuff? It has to be a kind of bummer, right? Seeing so many people near death," Boris asked and Father Kricket just smiled and shook his head.

"Actually, I like knowing I can give someone that scared, that close to nothing, some comfort."

"That close to nothing? That doesn't sound very religious."

"I'm not particularly religious, as much as I compassionate. I want to help other people. Sure, when I became a priest I was much more, what's the word...gullible? No, that's rude. Open to belief. But these days, who knows what lays beyond. All I know is that death is terrifying, and these people need something, someone, to tell them it's all going to be okay. So many people don't have family at this point. No friends. That's where they need me."

"...that's really kind of you," Boris said, "...I haven't been to church in years, to be honest. Um...can I talk to you about something while you're doing...this?"

"Of course, Boris."

"Okay well, my daughter had an accident when she was little, and she's...she hasn't been able to walk ever since. She's spent most of her life in a wheelchair. Well, now she's having this surgery to give her these 3D printed legs, right? So she can walk again? Anyway, I'm happy for her, but...is it wrong that I sometimes-"

"Feel guilty? Of course not, guilt is-"

"No, not guilty. No, I've accepted that I'm guilty. No, I feel bad because sometimes I wish she'd died. I wish that she had just...died so she wouldn't have had her life be this challenging. I know, I know, that's so mean of me, like disabled people can do anything they put their mind to, but it HAS to be frustrating on some level, and I sometimes wish she didn't have to suffer like that. I wish...I wish she could've died so she wouldn't have been hurt."

"...you feel that by extending her life, it's only made her life more painful than if she'd just died?"

"Exactly, and I know, that sounds AWFUL and I FEEL awful for thinking that, but...on some level...I don't know, it just seems like it'd be a better alternative."

"For who? You or her? If she died, she'd be died. You'd still have your guilt, but it wouldn't be the way it is today. You still feel guilty. You never accepted what happened. You might've accepted that it was your fault, but you never accepted that it's okay. You never got past it. But you feel that if she'd just died, that would've been easier to move past, yes? That you wouldn't have had to watch the enduring pain that came after?"

"...I...I guess...yeah," Boris said, "I didn't even really...I didn't really get to see her much after that, I was...I didn't..."

Boris paused, his eyes half shut and his voice cracked.

"I was a bad father," he said weakly, "I was such a bad father."

"But you care, so no, you weren't. You said it was an accident, right? The fact you feel this much about it at all shows you're not a bad father. You didn't want her in pain at all, you care. And besides Boris, even if you were a bad father then, that was then, and this is now. You don't have to continue being a bad father. She's still here. You can be a better father. There's no expiration date on recovery. It's never too late to get better."

Boris looked at him, somewhat surprised.

"Every time I talk to someone about this, they always say 'oh that was in the past!' or 'don't be so hard on yourself!' but nobody has ever, EVER, once told me 'that is terrible but you can fix it'. Nobody ever said I could fix it," Boris said, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, "...god...thank you Father Kricket."

"Boris," Father Kricket said, crossing his legs and leaning back, "...everything is fixable, no matter how broken it gets. People especially are fixable. It may take some time, some patience, and a whole lot of effort, but humans are fixable, you just need to believe you can be fixed. By continuing to tell ourselves that we can't be fixed, we live that reality that we're so far gone, so beyond broken, that nothing can bring us back. But WE can bring us back. You just have to stop telling yourself you're broken and start telling yourself you're being fixed."

A few moments passed as Miss Price mumbled something in her sleep and they both glanced at her. Boris stood up, as did Father Kricket and they looked at one another for a moment. Boris approached the door, Father Kricket following him into the hall.

"If it's any help, I can come back and speak to you weekly," Father Kricket said, "I'd like to help-"

Without warning, Boris quickly turned and hugged him tightly. Father Kricket, surprised but not put off at all, simply smiled and hugged Boris back, patting his back.

"It's going to be okay Boris. There may be nothing afterwards, but there's always something right now," he said, "We're going to make you better."

After the hug, Father Kricket headed back into the room, leaving Boris standing there, smiling like an idiot. This was the best day in weeks. Suddenly, a voice spoke out in the hallway, surprising him.

"Boris," it said, and Boris turned to find Lorraine standing there behind him. The two stood and stared at one another for a moment before he really accepted she was actually here, standing in front of him.

"Lorraine? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I said I'd come by," she said, "I know this is sudden, but um...we didn't really schedule anything concrete and I had to see you. Something's happened."

"Well, you could've called first, we could've...what do you mean something's happened?"

"It's about Ellen," Lorraine said, "They called me. She had...some sort of allergic reaction to what they gave her in the hospital to put her under, and she...she hasn't woken up. She's rather unresponsive. I didn't want to tell you this over the phone. I...I had to say it in person, to your face, that they told me to-"

"No."

"Boris," Lorraine said weakly, standing in the hallway, her hands holding eachother in front of her, her eyes stuck to the floor, "...I don't...I don't know how to..."

"No. No you don't...you don't get to say it," Boris said, tears brimming in his eyes, "Don't say it."

"Whether I say it or not it happened," Lorraine said, "It happened."

"No," Boris said softly, clutching at his chest as she approached him. She put her hand on his shoulder and he glanced up at her, and then his head hit her knees, he hugged her legs and he started sobbing as she stood there and stroked his hair.

"There there," she said quietly, "Get it out. It's okay. I'm here now."

"This isn't happening!" Boris shouted, standing up, turning and running, best he could, down the hall and out the back doors, out into the back garden area, past the quilters and just kept running. He had been given a good room, but at what price? The price of his daughter? And just when things were getting better? Boris kept going, until he reached another building on the property, and started into it, heading up the stairs. He finally reached the door he was looking for. Room 37G. Leanne's room. He needed something familiar, someone who would still be there for him. He knocked, and then opened the door and...

...it was empty. The entire room was empty. Boris stepped inside cautiously and looked around. Where was she? Where was EVERYTHING? An old man passing by with two small kids stopped and tapped Boris on the shoulder. He spun around, face to face.

"You alright?" the man asked, "What're you doing here?"

"Where is she? Where's Leanne? This is her room! It's...it's empty!"

"Oh, yeah, Leanne. Yeah, her daughter came and picked her up yesterday, took her to her house. Checked her out of here completely. I thought she would've told everyone she knew, but, with her mind these days, who knows what she remembers to do. Sorry, pal."

The man continued with the kids down the hall and out the door as Boris entered the room and stood there, the sunlight peeking in through the blinds and spilling on his face. He shut his eyes, and he could still hear their voices. Their faces. And then...and then...

And then.
Published on
"Boris," Lorraine said weakly, standing in the hallway, her hands holding eachother in front of her, her eyes stuck to the floor, "...I don't...I don't know how to..."

"No. No you don't...you don't get to say it," Boris said, tears brimming in his eyes, "Don't say it."

"Whether I say it or not it happened," Lorraine said, "It happened."

"No," Boris said softly, clutching at his chest as she approached him. She put her hand on his shoulder and he glanced up at her, and then his head hit her knees, he hugged her legs and he started sobbing as she stood there and stroked his hair.

"There there," she said quietly, "Get it out. It's okay. I'm here now."

                                                                               1 WEEK PRIOR

Boris was sitting on his bed. He didn't want to be sitting on his bed, but he was. He wanted to be sitting on a new bed, in a new room, the room he'd asked for what felt like months ago now. He wanted Hendersons old room, but a decision still had not come down about whether or not he'd be given it, and at this point, he was ready to accept a decision never would. So, Boris was sitting on his bed, picking at a loose string coming out of the quilt when someone knocked on his door. He looked up, surprised.

"Uh...come in?"

The door opened, and there stood Carol, looking at her watch.

"This Bingo game is going to start soon, if you wanna..." she said, before looking up and around his room, "...god this is depressing. Why don't you do something to this place?"

"Decorating would only create the reality that I'm never leaving," Boris said, "And I like to keep my options open. It's like finding a stray puppy, once you name it, you become attached to it."

"Are you coming to Bingo?"

"I don't know. I don't really feel like it," Boris said, "I think I may go watch the knitting club."

"Alright," Carol said, sighing, "Well, the offer is open if you decide to change your mind."

Carol turned and exited the room, leaving the door wide open. Boris continued to pick and pull at the errant string from the quilt, his brow furrowing at it. He heard a voice at his doorway.

"Boris?" it asked.

"Carol, I already-" he started, before he looked up and realized it was, in fact, Leanne. She was standing there, smiling at him, looking just as pretty as the last time he'd seen her. She started to come in, but stopped before entering.

"May I join you in...whatever it is you're doing?" she asked.

"Wallowing in my own despair."

"Sounds lovely!"

With that, she entered the room and sat down beside him, watching him pick at the string.

"How've you been?" he asked.

"I've been alright, I'm sorry we haven't seen more of eachother...I've been having a lot of family visits and doctors appointments lately. I guess it's just kept me busy. It wasn't that I didn't want to come over and talk to you."

"It's okay. I didn't make much of an effort to come talk to you either," Boris said, "Not that that excuses anything. I should've. You've been having family come visit?"

"Yes! It's been wonderful. I've been having my daughter come and visit me, and she's so sweet, I would love if you could meet her sometime," Leanne said, "She'll come over, we'll chat a bit, she'll take me to the doctors, you know, things like that. Sometimes we go out for lunch and..."

A pause as she looked at his hand tugging at the string.

"...is there a reason you're torturing this quilt?"

"Huh? Oh...I don't...I mean...it's broken. It's coming apart. I could have it fixed, there's lots of women here who know how to knit and could easily fix it for me but...it's like me, it's damaged, and that's fine. We're fine. I like it this way. I'm only doing this because I'm bored," Boris said, sighing, "...that was so overly dramatic of me, I'm sorry. I used to write."

"You were a writer?"

"On and off. I did greeting cards, copy, freelance things like that," Boris said, "Then after the accident...I didn't really write much anymore. I liked writing happy things, and I didn't really have much happiness to inspire me, so, why bother writing anymore?"

"How cliche, a damaged writer," Leanne said, smirking, "Oh, you're in SO much pain Boris, please, let me HEAL you. Goodness knows anything can inspire art of any kind. I guarantee you that pain isn't a necessity, and anyone who tells you it is hasn't made anything worthy of themselves. To believe pain is equal to great art is to say that pain is the only emotion worth feeling, which is such a load of shit. If that were true, love stories with happy endings wouldn't be as popular as they are."

"...I guess you're right," Boris said, "But when you've reached this point in your life, what's there to be happy about? You have little to no family, and finding a reason to even get out of bed if you have no career or friends or goals is hard to do."

"You're alive! That's what makes getting out of bed worth it! Because you can get out of bed! Think about it, there's billions of people already dead, but you're not one of them! Not yet, anyway! So get up, enjoy things!"

"But...how?" Boris asked, tearing up, "How do you enjoy anything? I feel like I haven't enjoyed something in years."

"Stuart, things like that hurt to hear," Leanne said, "I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better."

"I appreciate that you even care enough to listen, so...Stuart?" Boris asked, realizing she'd just called him the wrong name.

"Stuart, there are things in life that are worth pursuing even if you don't achieve them or even if you choose to give them up, because the fact of the matter is that simply pursuing them means you made a decision to do something, you acted upon impulse, you made a change. You. You. YOU did that. You are in control of your OWN life."

"Sure, that's all fine and true, but-"

"And," she continued, cutting him off, "the fact of the matter is that if you do NOTHING, then you're letting the pain win. Pain is a miserable, fickle creature, Stuart, it really is. You didn't try hard enough in college and you aren't trying hard enough today."

"Whoa whoa, I mean, I agree, I'm a lazy sack of garbage, but come on," Boris said, "Also, my name isn't Stuart."

Leanne stopped and looked at him, rubbing her arm with her other hand, seeming nervous and confused.

"Where am I?" she quietly asked.

"You're...you're in my room, I'm Boris, remember?" he asked, "You...you came in from the hallway, and we were talking about your daughter and your doctors appointments and stuff? Are you feeling okay?"

"I have to go," she quickly said, trying to get up before stumbling and grabbing the wall to keep herself from falling. As Boris approached her to help, she put a hand up to stop him, "No! No...I don't need help, I can do this."

She got back on her feet and continued down the hall as Boris watched her from his doorway. As he did, Polly stopped by and watched with him as she ate a pudding cup.

"Leanne Wilkins huh?" Polly asked, "She probably won't be staying here much longer, if she keeps getting worse."

"Worse?"

"She's on my floor. Sometimes she goes into peoples rooms, thinking they're her rooms from her old house, or her childhood home. Sometimes she thinks the younger nurses are her daughter. They're going to have to take her home soon, because she's becoming too much of a liability here," Polly said, "She's come up on the pool a few times and managed not to kick it so far though, so kudos to her."

"Why...why would she be a liability?"

"...jesus Boris, you really don't know anything about anyone here, do you? Leanne has Alzheimers you dipshit," Polly said, handing him the empty pudding cup and spoon, "God, listen to people for once in your life. It's like conversing with a wall."

Boris watched her walk away as this information sunk in. That's why she repeated the story about her leg when they first met. That's why she'd called him by the wrong name. She was sick. Just then he noticed the trash in his hands.

"Hey! I don't want your goddamned garbage!" he shouted after Polly.

                                                                                              ***

Sitting here, staring at the phone, wondering if he should pick up and call. Would she even answer? Would he even want her to? He finally swallowed his pride, picked it up and dialed the number.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Lorraine," Boris said, "It's...it's me."

"Boris, hello," she said, sounding actually somewhat happy to hear from him, "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay. Um...have you talked to Ellen lately?" he asked, twirling the phone cord around his fingers.

"Right, like she'd ever reach out to me," Lorraine said, almost laughing, "You know how she is. She sees me as the villain, and...maybe I am, sure, but...all parents are villains in one way or another, intentionally or not. We all fuck up and most of us don't admit it."

"A simple yes or no would've sufficed," Boris said, "She told me she was going into surgery and she hasn't called me or anything since. I just wanted to make sure you hadn't heard from her either."

"Surgery?"

"It's nothing major," he said, quickly covering himself, "I just wanted to know if you'd heard from her, that's all. Anyway, thanks for answering."

"Boris, wait!" Lorraine said shrilly, keeping him on the line, "Boris...would it be alright if I come see you soon?"

"...yeah, that would be fine," Boris said, actually wanting to see her in person again, "Yeah, come on by whenever you have the time. I'd like to see you. I have some things I need to talk about with you, actually."

After he hung up, he sat and thought about Ellen, and Leanne, and wondered why everyone he cared about was hurt or sick. Was he just destined to care for damaged people? Leanne's situation wasn't his fault, but Ellen's certainly was, and he blamed himself for it daily. He stood up, headed out of the common area and started to head back to his bedroom when he heard someone crying, and he stopped, listened for a moment and then followed the sound to a corridor at the end of the hall, near the stairs, where he found Nurse Whittle sitting alone, sobbing into her hands.

"Hey," he said, surprising her as she quickly looked up and wiped her tears away.

"Boris, shit, you scared me," she said, catching her breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm not...I'm not okay, no," she said, "But don't worry about me, I'll be-"

"No, no, don't...don't be like me. Don't not talk about yourself until it's too late. Let someone in to help you. You're here always helping others, let someone help you for a change. Tell me, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting down next to her under the stairs.

"I'm just really unhappy, Boris," she said softly, "I...I tried to talk to my parents yesterday and my father, he's just...such an asshole. He won't let it go that I gave up becoming a doctor to instead become a nurse, and he keeps making references to it and my mother never fucking defends me, and it just...it's not fair, like, I recognized I didn't personally have it in me, at that time, to become a doctor, and that this is more what I was able to do, but now I'm unhappy doing this too."

"Parents are broken sacks of crap, Whittle," Boris said, pulling out some mints from his coat pocket and giving her one as he popped one in his mouth, "They're so angry at themselves for not doing the things they wanted to do before they had you, so now they pin all those hopes on you, and when you don't achieve them, they feel betrayed. But it's bullshit. You are your own person and are in no way responsible for their failings."

"...thank you," Whittle said softly, almost whispering, "God...all I wanted my entire life was ONE fucking adult telling me that they sucked, that they recognized they sucked, and that they all hurt their children."

"I wasn't a great dad, but I tried, and I'm still trying," Boris said, "I'm sorry your father is shit. Most fathers are. So, hey, at least you aren't alone. Welcome to the universal brotherhood of shitty dads."

Whittle sighed, took the mint and put it in her mouth before laying her head on Boris's shoulder and shutting her eyes. Sitting here, in his terrible present, Boris wondered if secretly people like Leanne had it better; being trapped in the past, in the memories of happiness and joy, instead of the terrible present where everything is gone and feels wrong. He knew that was probably terrible to think, but he thought it just the same.

"Boris?" Whittle asked, her voice soft as the wind.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the mint," she said.

"It's the small things, kiddo;" he said, putting his arm around her, the two of them sitting there well into the evening.
Published on
"Haaaappy birthdaaaay to youuuuu...." everyone sang, trailing off towards the end, showing their clear disinterest. Boris was seated at the table, a party hat on his head, while all the seniors were surrounding him, along with a few nurses.

"Alright, well, do you have any words to say about your birthday, Boris?" a male nurse asked, as Boris groaned and shrugged before the male nurse continued, "Alright, well how about everyone has a slice of cake, and we all-"

"Actually," Boris said, sitting upright now, "I do have something to say about my birthday. I want to say that for most of my life, birthdays were a joyous thing. An opportunity for your family and friends to gather with you in warm spirits and tell you they were happy to be there, and that they loved you, but when you turn our age, what the fuck does it even mean? Carol," he stopped, looking at her, "Your last birthday, what happened?"

"You know goddamn well what happened," she said, annoyed, "You were there. It was a disaster. Wrong kind of cake, crappy presents, and the freakin' banner spelt my name with a goddamned K! Who spells Carol with a K?!"

"And Burt, what about you?"

"They didn't even remember my birthday. I spent it alone, in my room, eating a sugar free cupcake from the cafeteria," Burt said, "Actually, it was one of the nicer birthdays, cause all of you weren't there, but still, I get your point."

"What IS your point?" Polly asked.

"My point," Boris said, standing up now, "Is that the older you get, the less meaningful birthdays become. Honestly, they're a positive way to count down how many years you have left on this miserable, rotting ball of dirt, and we just disguise them in glitter and cards and sweets, all because we like to think that as we age, we get wiser or some bullshit, but guess what, I'm not any goddamned wiser today than I was 15 years ago!"

"Tell me about it!" a voice shouted from behind everyone.

"Shut up Alice!" Boris shouted back, "All I'm saying is that, at a certain point, you have to wonder what's the goddamned point, right? What're we celebrating? The fact we're still alive? Nobody here wants to BE alive anymore! In constant pain, needing dozens of medications to get through a single day feeling moderately alright, no family comes to visit us. Nobody wants to celebrate, 'yay! another 5 possible years of emptiness!' because let's admit it, this is miserable."

Boris sighed and looked down at the table, wincing, trying not to cry.

"When I was younger, I had the best birthdays...I'd come home and my daughter would be so thrilled to see me, and she'd give me this gift she'd hand made, and my wife would've made dinner and gotten a cake from a bakery and we all were together, just...just happy to BE together, you know? Just being together is no longer enough. Now you have to be DOING something together. Nobody just sits with one another anymore. That was the happiest part of my year, was my birthday. Now it's just a yearly reminder that I'm alone, hated and not much longer for this world."

Boris sat down and poured himself a glass of caffeine free soda, drinking it in one go before wiping his arm on his sleeve and looking back at everyone else.

"...Boris?" Carol asked as he took the party hat off his head and looked at it in his hands.

"Yeah Carol?"

"...can we have some cake now?" she asked.

"Sure."

And with that, the male nurse started cutting into the cake as Boris got up and walked down the hall and out to the garden area, where he found Whittle sitting alone, smoking a cigarette. She quickly waved her hand in the air as he sat down by her, and held his hand out. She put the cigarette between his fingers and he took it, taking a drag.

"...happy birthday?" she asked cautiously, and he exhaled, shaking his head.

"Nobody gets it."

"I think everyone gets it, it's just...shitty to focus on. Nobody here wants to think about the fact that they're alone, forgotten and going to die soon. You need a hobby, Boris. Maybe take up writing again?"

"I have nothing interesting left to say."

"You have plenty interesting things left to say!" Whittle said, "Boris...I'm your friend, and I know how you feel. Goddamn dude, I'm in my late 20s and I feel the way you do. I want to die. I've wanted to die for a long time now."

"...you have?" Boris asked, eyeing her.

"Yeah. I've been seeing a therapist about it for a while, trying to keep myself level and busy, but those things don't make it go away, they just distract me long enough for me to forget for just a little while that I want to cut my wrists. I know how you feel, Boris. I really do."

"I just don't know how anyone can take aging seriously. Time itself is such a stupid concept, and the concept of aging is even worse shit piled on top of it! Experience does not equal intelligence, trust me. I've known plenty of full grown adults who're stupider than 12 year olds, alright? Wisdom, experience, all that shit is just what greeting card companies want you to believe are important, but you know what's important, Whittle? What's really, utterly, irrefutably important?"

"What?"

"NOTHING," Boris said, throwing his arms in the air, almost laughing, "And that makes existence hilarious! Because think about all the things you take seriously, right? Your health, politics, love, none of it means SHIT, because none of it's going to LAST. This means that you should instead just focus on having fun, being with people you like being with, and take everything for granted. People say you shouldn't take things for granted, but you SHOULD, because by NOT taking things for granted, that means you don't appreciate them enough! I'm not saying you should use people, but you should take advantage of the fact that they like you, that they wanna be around you, that they're HERE AT ALL! Think about it! You exist at the same time as people you love! That's crazy!"

"It is pretty wild."

"Atoms collided and built two people who manage to get along, and enjoy one anothers company, and yet people say 'don't take them for granted!'. No! Take EVERYTHING for granted! It's here! It exists! Love it with all the strength you can muster! Because one day, it, and you, won't exist, especially not at the same time. And sometimes, you WILL exist at the same time, and they won't want to know you anymore, or they won't be here anymore, and then what? Then you'll hate yourself for not taking them for granted. For not taking all the time with them you could've taken, and you'll want to die. But here's the thing...even what I'm saying is bullshit. Don't believe it. Don't let me tell you what to believe. This is just what works for ME."

"Does it work for you though?" Whittle asked, putting her cigarette out, "Because you seem pretty fucking unhappy all the time. Wouldn't it be better to have something, anything at all, to believe in?"

"Possibly, but it hasn't thus far in my life. I find far more comfort in the reality of the inevitable nothingness than I ever did from the supposed comfort of a 'god' or whatever. But again, that's just ME. Do what makes you happy."

Whittle sighed as she stared out at the senior community garden and she pulled a small package out from her jacket pocket, handing it to him.

"Happy birthday, Boris," she said, hugging him gently before getting up and walking inside. Boris looked at the present and then back at the doors she'd just disappeared through before looking back at the present. He looked at the community garden, and shut his eyes, letting the sunset glow onto his face and warm his old skin. For a moment, he swore he could hear Ellens voice when she was a child. The past...it was so close and yet he couldn't reach it. It was just out of his grasp forever now, because he'd already lived it.

He looked down at the present in his hands and started to unwrap it, careful not to rip the carefully wrapped clown wrapping paper Whittle had put on it. Inside was a box, and as he lifted off the lid to this small, cardboard box, inside he found was a watch. He looked at it, and pulled it out, and sighed before slipping it on his wrist. He then looked back in the box, and found a small note that had been folded and hidden under the watch. He pulled it out, unfolded it and read it to himself:

"Dear Boris, happy birthday. I know a watch is a sorta cliche gift, but I figured it'd make the most sense to give you one, so you can make up for lost time. Love, Whittle."

Boris smiled and looked at the watch again.

Just then, the door opened and Carol joined him, eating cake off a paper plate and handing him a plate with a slice on it, along with a plastic fork.

"I brought you some cake," she said, before reaching into her coat pocket and pulled out a flask, "And some Whiskey."

"You beautiful woman, you," Boris said, making her laugh, "...thanks Carol. Thanks for the cake, and...thank you for taking the time to know me. I appreciate it."

"You're kind of a douchebag, but you're a good douchebag who knows he's a douchebag. I can appreciate that level of self recognition, because being that aware often means you are trying to change those bad parts of yourself. So you're welcome, Boris," Carol replied.

Carol smiled warmly, and patted his back as they sat and ate cake. As the sun set, she simply whispered, "Happy birthday, douchebag."
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About

So Happy Together is a dramedy about couple Aubrey & Brent. After Aubrey plays an April Fools joke on Brent that she's pregnant, Brent confesses out of panic that he actually has a secret daughter with an ex wife, and everything changes overnight.