Allie could hear the screams echoing around her, she could hear the sounds of someone firing a gun and the sound of a tiger growl, but she couldn't focus clearly enough on one singular thing long enough for it to make a lick of sense to her brain. All she did know for certain was that she was on her back on the floor, staring up at the stage lights overhead.

"Jesus fucking christ," she heard someone scream nearby, as a stage hand raced to the stage from the audience seating area and leapt up, crawling towards Allie. She could feel them touching her, but she didn't know where, and she could hear their walkie talkie going off, but she couldn't make out the words through the static. As her head rolled to her side, she looked at her left hand and noticed her wrist was bent backwards, and crimson red, muscle sticking out. It looked nearly detached from her arm, and yet she couldn't feel anything. She'd later learn this is a common occurrence when dealing with serious trauma and pain.

"Fuck," Allie mumbled, "that sucks."

And then she blacked out.

                                                                                      ***

"Did it hurt?" Zoe asked, as she and Allie sat in the casino at the slot machines, Allie pumping quarters from a plastic cup into the machine as Zoe drank some pink fruit drink with very little alcohol in it.

"What? Almost losing my hand?" Allie asked, and Zoe nodded, making Allie sigh; she shrugged and said, "I don't think so. I was so out of it when I woke up that I...I couldn't really feel anything, and then the painkillers they prescribed me were so heavy duty that I couldn't feel it after that either. Took a long time before I could really use my left hand again though, and even now it doesn't fully work properly."

"You're so lucky it didn't attack your face," Zoe said softly, and Allie laughed.

"Lucky? Is that what you'd call it? I'd rather they destroyed my face," Allie said.

"What happened to the tiger?" Zoe asked, and Allie shut her eyes, breathing deeply.

"So," Allie asked after a moment, "Got any ideas for your stage name?"

                                                                                     ***

Zoe opened the door to the house and hung her car keys on the little hook by the door before getting further in. She pulled her jacket off and headed into the kitchen, finding her sister there, making a pot of coffee. As Zoe opened the fridge, she raised a brow at this.

"Coffee?" she asked, checking her watch, "It's really late."

"I have to work on something all night," her sister, Thea, said.

"Oh okay," Zoe replied, pulling out the carrot juice carton from the fridge and then, grabbing a glass from the cabinet, poured herself a glass. As she leaned against the counter and watched Thea pour herself coffee, Zoe couldn't help but think about what Allie had asked her at the casino, about her stage name. She cleared her throat and, tying her hair up, asked her sister, "Do you think you could help me come up with a stage name?"

"Why?"

"You do graphic design and advertising, I just figured you might be able to help better than anyone. It's so hard because nothing starts with a Z," Zoe said, "But I need one if I want to keep my job."

"Could always make up a word," Thea said, sipping her coffee, "Something like The Zantabulous Zoe."

"I'm not 10, although..."

The girls laughed as Zoe sat at the table, Thea seating herself across from her, still sipping on her coffee.

"I'm working with Allie Meers," Zoe said quietly, "You know her? Remember? The woman who got attacked by her tiger, almost lost her hand?"

"No shit, really?"

"Yeah, and she's really cagey. I mean, she's been fairly nice to me, but she...I don't know how to explain it," Zoe said, "she's clearly still very troubled by it. I mean, understandably, as it was probably traumatic as all heck, but I just...I asked her about it tonight, and she wouldn't even really discuss it much."

"Well, don't put her off too much," Thea said, standing up and patting her sisters shoulder, "you need this job."

As Thea left and headed upstairs to her home office, Zoe sat in the kitchen and thought back to that moment, the moment she saw Allie's hand nearly ripped from her arm. Being in the audience that night, standing and staring at the sight as Allie struggled to free her wrist from the tigers mouth only to hear the ripping of flesh and cracking of bone, and hearing Allie scream. Fuck, that scream. She never forgot that scream, ever. She could recall crowd shuffling around her, fleeing for their lives - even though nobody else was in any danger as the tiger had been chained to its post on the stage - and her eyes absolutely transfixed on her hero, bleeding in front of them all.

A regular child might think, "This is terrifying", and be scared away from that profession forever.

But Zoe was not a regular child. If anything, all she thought was...

"This is what I wanna do for a living."

                                                                                       ***

The phone rang, and Nick's hand fumbled around in the dark, grasping for it. He saw the time on its face, 3:15 in the morning, and he groaned. He answered and lifted the phone to his ear, mumbling into the receiver.

"M'ello?" he asked.

"Can you drive me somewhere?" Allie asked, and Nick exhaled, rubbing his face with his free palm, sitting up in his bed new.

"Are you too drunk to drive?"

"Somewhat, but I also can't go alone," she said, and he knew immediately what this was about.

"Yeah, I'll come get you."

Nick got dressed quickly, got into his car and headed over to Card Shark. He found Allie sitting outside, a bottle of beer in her hand in a paper sack, wearing torn jeans and a white t-shirt with a black jacket. She climbed into his car, buckled her seatbelt and he continued driving. Neither one said a word at first, and Allie began turning his radio dials, until she stopped on a late night rock station. She finished her beer, tossed it into his backseat and rested her head on her fist, looking out the passenger window.

"How's your wrist?" Nick asked.

"Always the nurse," she whispered, making him smile.

"Force of habit."

"It's fine. I'm still taking painkillers, obviously," Allie said, "thanks for taking me. I don't like doing this by myself. Try as I might, I'm still pretty fucking terrified of it."

"I get it Al, you don't have to explain it to me," Nick said.

After a good half hour drive, Nick parked and climbed out of the car, Allie doing the same. They'd driven to a small private animal rescue, generally where stage animals go once they retire; animals from circus acts, animals from vegas shows, they all eventually wound up here. As they climbed out of the car, they saw the guard station light come on, and the door open, as a tall, lanky woman with thin glasses and oak brown hair stepped out in her uniform.

"Oh, it's you guys," she said.

"Hey Jenny," Nick said, "Can we get in?"

"Sure," she said, "Let me just shut the cameras off for a minute."

After Jenny killed the cameras, she opened the gate and the three of them walked inside. Allie walked well among them, clearly lost in her own thoughts, leaving Nick and Jenny to walk behind her. Jenny twirled her keyring on her finger as they walked, glancing at Nick every now and then. She spoke, keeping her voice low, so as not to draw Allie's attention.

"You guys haven't been here in a while," she whispered.

"Well, we wouldn't be now except that she needed me to drive. We broke up," Nick said.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Nick replied, "I mean, I ended things, she wasn't...anyway. Thanks for letting us in."

"Of course," Jenny said, "It's a tradition at this point."

After a few minutes of walking, the three of them stopped at a large enclosure, spotting a few tigers within it, lounging and sleeping. Allie stopped and, leaning against the rail, stared into the enclosure in the darkness of the night, looking for her tiger. As soon as her eyes caught him, she wouldn't let her eyes wander again. But the tiger was indifferent, it merely yawned, stretched and laid on its side. Nick and Jenny just stood back, watching from afar, as Allie did her usual ritual.

To think this one moment from this one animal, a few seconds was all it took, would alter her life forever. If it hadn't been for this tiger, she wouldn't had gotten addicted to painkillers, and she wouldn't be the mess she was today. All because of this fucking tiger. Standing there, tears rolling down her face, she couldn't imagine what her life might be like had he not attacked...would she have met someone else besides Nick? Would she have started drinking more anyway? Who knows. She used to be so clean, so sober, and now...now she couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror. Allie wiped her face on her coat sleeve and felt a hand on her shoulder, glancing to her side to see Jenny standing there, touching her.

"You okay?" she asked, and Allie shrugged.

"How can I ever be okay?" she whispered, "...I'll never be who I was, and I hate who I've become."

"I'm sorry, Allie," Jenny said, and Allie nodded, then turned to face Nick.

"Take me home," she said.

Nick drove her back to the city, and as they pulled back up at the casino, and thus her penthouse, he waited for her to get out of the car, but she was hesitating. She was picking at her tears in her jeans, chewing on her lip, like she wanted to say something.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Thanks for taking me..." she muttered, and Nick nodded as she added, "uh...do you want to come up? You know...come upstairs? It's late, you could get something on my room service since it's all comped anyway. Could just hang, watch TV or something. Or, you know."

"Heh," Nick chuckled, "Much as I appreciate the offer for sex so late at night, I don't think it's a great idea."

"Come on man," Allie said, "Just cause you don't want to be with me romantically doesn't mean we can't have fun, right?"

"Allie-"

"Nick, just...it's not me, right? It's not....it's not because I'm ugly is it?"

"Jesus, you're not ugly, Allie, fuck. You're beautiful, and you-"

Allie wiped her makeup off her face, revealing the long scar on one side of her face, trying extremely hard to keep herself from sobbing. She wasn't really drunk, and she wasn't on pills at the moment. Nick could tell this was coming from somewhere deep inside, something that she was really struggling with.

"Now tell me you believe that," she said.

"Why do you want people to hate you so much?" Nick asked, his voice lowering.

"...i don't know, and i don't care what other people think about me...i just want you to love me," she said.

Nick shook his head and looked away. Allie opened her car door and stepped out, shutting it behind her, not saying a word as she headed inside. As Allie got off the elevator moments later and headed to her door, she spotted someone sitting by it, asleep. Allie approached and nudged them with her shoe, waking them up, only to realize it was Zoe.

"What are you doing here? It's so late," Allie said, as she helped Zoe up and they entered Allie's penthouse.

"I think I came up with a name," Zoe said, yawning, "I couldn't wait until tomorrow to show you, since we have rehearsals tomorrow. I was thinking perhaps I could go with something like The Zealous Zoe!"

"Zealous?"

"It's the only word I could come up with," Zoe said, "If you have any suggestions, please, let me hear them."

Zoe stood there and watched as Allie took her jacket off and walked to the minibar, pulling out a box of chocolates and then, as she was heading back across the room, stopped to stare at her face in the vanity mirror over the dresser. Allie reached up and touched the scar on her face, then looked back at Zoe before holding the candy box out, offering her one, which she happily took, popping it into her mouth.

"That tiger you asked about," Allie said, "he did this to me. Before I came to Vegas, all I wanted to do was perform magic, but eventually you needed to up your game each time, and before I knew it, I was using a tiger. I didn't have to do any of those things. I just wanted to be the best. I wanted to be on top. Animal magic was where it was, and I bought into the pressure. You wanna be like me? Don't. And don't buy into pressure. Don't have a stage name. Just be Zoe, because unlike me, you're cool enough."

Zoe stood there, eating another chocolate, her face frozen in surprise.

"You barely know me and you're saying this?" she asked.

"Yeah, I am, because I don't want to see another magician turn into what I've turned into," Allie said, "Now if you'll open this bottle of wine, I'll show you my scrapbook of the news clippings and gruesome surgery photos I had taken. You know you wanna see it."

It was true, she did want to see it. Zoe nodded, taking the wine and opening it as Allie went and pulled the scrapbook from the bookshelf. Sitting on the couch, plopping the book open with Zoe at her side, still munching on chocolates as Allie started to pour them some wine, she smiled.

"Here's my hand nearly off at the wrist, you can see bone," Allie said.

"Cool," Zoe replied, as Allie took a chocolate from the box.

Allie's eyes were taking some time to adjust to the room, everything blurred and out of focus. She groaned as she tried to sit up, and quickly realized she was wet all over. Allie looked down and saw she was lying in a bath tub, still fully dressed. Allie groaned and finally managed to pull herself up a bit, before falling face first onto the bathroom floor. The door to the bathroom opened, and she saw a pair of sneakers approach her; as her eyes scanned upwards, she saw Nick's face, and she felt a sense of relief flood her body as he knelt over her.

"Allie?" he asked.

"Why was I in the bath?" she asked, and Nick sighed, running his fingers through his curly brown hair.

"I have no idea," Nick said, "but I can't do this anymore."

"What?" Allie asked, sounding genuinely surprised, his admission fully bringing her back to consciousness; she struggled to stand up in the bathroom as Nick exited, and she slid on the rug, falling back down and shouting obscenities, before finally managing to follow him out to the hotel room they were in. Allie looked around for a moment, shivering, before furrowing her brow and asking, "why the fuck am I in a hotel room?"

"All I know is you called me, and you were completely fucked up, so I came over," Nick said, "By the time I got here, you had climbed into the bathtub, could barely speak, and passed out. I just sat here and checked on you intermittently to make sure you didn't drown."

"How sweet," Allie said, making him scoff.

"Nothing about this is 'sweet', Allie, this is sick, and I can't take it anymore. You're fucking aging me by the day," Nick said, his voice rising, "You are in need of help that I cannot give you!"

Allie leaned against the wall and rubbed her face on her soaking wet sleeve, her lips quivering, as she quietly whispered, "I'm cold."

Nick sighed and walked over to her, pulling her arms down to her side and unbuttoning her shirt, pulling it off of her and then getting a towel and hairdryer from the bathroom. He wrapped the towel around her, then told her to remove her pants as he plugged the hairdryer into the wall near the television and turned it on. Allie shut her eyes, trying not to cry, as she kicked her pants off and stood straight up so Nick could dry her off with the dryer.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I know," Nick said, "and I know you really mean it, but...this isn't fair to me. Every single day I have to wake up and worry whether or not you're going to still be alive. I shouldn't have to do that."

"No, you shouldn't."

"I need a break," Nick said, "You've shown you don't want to work with me, you've shown you don't want help from a professional. I need to take a break, Allie."

"I understand," Allie said, her teeth somewhat chattering.

Nick stopped blowing and set the dryer on the dresser, then put his hands on her shoulders. He put his forehead against hers, and she smiled. As Allie walked to the bed and sat down, clutching the towel tightly around her, she watched Nick gather his few things he'd brought with him - a book, a bag of chips, a few cans of soda, his jacket and his keys - and then looked up at him as he stood at the end of the bed, looking down at her. Nick smiled and touched her cheek again.

"I'm sorry, Allie," he said, "You're really fucking cool, but I just...I'm not capable of dealing with this kind of shit. If you ever want to get real help, let me know. I'll do what I can then. But until that point, I think it's best we don't talk."

"...i love you," Allie mumbled, and Nick sighed, kissing the top of her head.

"I know you do, and I love you too, that's why I can't keep sitting here and watching you do this to yourself," he said, before turning and leaving the hotel room. Allie wanted to go to the window and watch him drive away, but she figured it was better that she didn't. Seeing him leave would mean he was really gone. That was simply too much closure, and she couldn't handle that right now. Instead, she stood back up, picked up the hairdryer again and continued warming herself until she was fully dry.

Once Allie was dry, she redressed and left the hotel room, heading to her car. Allie got into her car and slid the key into the ignition, before adjusting the rearview mirror and noticing something in the backseat; a cardboard cutout of herself, back when she was new in Vegas. Allie turned and looked at the cutout in the backseat and groaned.

"The fuck?" she muttered, "jesus that's unsettling."

Allie backed out and started driving, heading towards Card Shark. Maybe they'd let her have a few drinks on the house before her show tonight. She'd just been dumped, maybe she could gain a few sympathy drinks out of the deal. But Allie had no idea just how much worse her day was about to get.

                                                                               ***

"What?" Allie asked, her eyes wide.

She was seated on the opposite side of Card Shark's owner - Tony Campini's - desk. He shrugged and light a cigar for himself and for Allie, which she happily took, before he leaned back in his chair and put his legs up on his desk.

"What do you want me to do? Continue indulging in this self destructiveness? I'd be held liable if anything happened to any of the guests, or to you, if I continue to do so," Tony said, "and the fact of the matter is you've become a risky asset. I'm just telling you what my investors are suggesting I do, but thankfully for you, I like you, and I haven't decided what to do just yet. I want to give you a chance to fix your act."

"My magic act or, like, my life?"

"You know damn well which one," Tony said, chuckling, "So let me make it extremely clear for you, okay? You're basically on probation. I'm going to let you continue performing, but unless you get sober, or at least relatively sober, that offer won't stand for long. In the meantime, no more free alcohol in the casino, and I'm giving you a partner."

"A partner?"

"Yes," Tony said, shouting at the door, "Come in, please!"

The door opened and a young woman, looking in her early twenties, entered. She was wearing button down slacks and a short sleeved button down shirt, with the collar done up. She had a messy mop of short red hair, and she stopped after reaching the desk. Allie looked from the girl to Tony, then back at the girl, jerking her thumb at her.

"Her? Really?" she asked.

"She requested to work with you, personally," Tony said.

"Miss Meers, I'm Zoe, I'm an enormous fan," the girl said, holding out her hand to shake it, but Allie denied the request and looked back at Tony.

"This is...ridiculous."

"No, Allie, what's ridiculous is your goddamned behavior, okay?" Tony said, starting to sound genuinely irritated with her, "Now you two find a way to make this work, or she'll be your official replacement, alright? I'm not letting you mire my casino in your bullshit anymore!"

"Oh, 'mire', wow, what a big word for such a big man," Allie said, annoyed, as she stood up and stormed out, Zoe at her heels. Standing in the hall outside Tony's office door, Allie continued smoking the cigar before looking at Zoe standing beside her. Allie headed to the elevator, Zoe keeping up with her, as she continued to puff cigar smoke in front of them as they walked. Once they reached the elevator, Allie looked at Zoe and sighed.

"I'm sorry," Allie said, "I didn't mean anything about you, I hope you know that."

"I know," Zoe said, "I understand. Everyone has a bad day."

"My whole goddamn life's a bad day," Allie replied, "and this is just the icing on top. I'm a solo magician, and I worked hard to get to this point. I don't need any help, act wise. So here's how this is gonna work, alright? I'm gonna incorporate you into my act, but only so you can gain exposure. In the meantime, you won't tell Tony anything about my activities, deal?"

Zoe stood there, slack jawed, contemplating this arrangement. She finally nodded, without uttering a word. Allie smirked and patted her shoulder as the elevator doors opened.

"Welcome aboard," Allie said as they entered and she pressed the penthouse button, "So, what's your stage name?"

"Well I know alliteration is an important thing, but it's kind of hard to find something that works with the letter 'Z', so I'm sort of stumped..."

"We'll come up with something, don't worry," Allie said as the doors shut.

                                                                          ***

Allie Meers was 11 years old when she was first given a magic kit.

It was given to her by her mothers brother, Kenny, and she was thrilled to have received it for the holidays. She started practicing every single day, starting with simple card tricks and interlocking metal rings, eventually moving onto a few more advanced tricks within the year with relative ease. Turns out, Allie had a real knack for magic, and she quickly immersed herself in the world of stage magic, pulling library books and mail order videos into her world to teach her more. By the time she was 19, she had made up her mind to go to Vegas, and become a honest to god successful stage magician.

When she first moved to Vegas, however, she began to find it incredibly difficult to find work in any outlet. She started by doing private parties, but this didn't pay well enough, especially for a supposed 'starter' in the field. Thankfully, by the end of her first year in town - on the verge of financial ruin and burnout - she was finally seen by Tony Campini. He told her he admired her moxie, her spunk, and, most importantly, her effort. He said he saw real potential in her, and a few weeks later, he offered her a small ongoing gig at his casino, The Card Shark.

Sitting together in the green room after her last show of that year, the show which arguably gained her the success she'd continue to see for years to come, Allie told Tony, "What do you do when you finally achieve your dreams?"

To which Tony replied, pouring her a glass of wine, "You hope you never wake up."

As she sat on the couch in the penthouse that night, sipping an imported beer while Zoe stumbled around, taking in all the wonders of her career, Allie couldn't help but think that she didn't take into consideration that once you made it...you had to fight to keep it. Zoe's fingertips trembled as she reached to the photo on the wall and touched the frame, her breath caught in her chest.

"Yeah?" Allie asked.

"I was here, when you did this, with the tigers," Zoe said, "I saw this happen."

Allie put her cigar out and sat upright on the couch now, watching Zoe as she turned away from the photo to face Allie, her eyes wide.

"What was it like?" Zoe asked.

"You mean to be that close to a tiger, or to feel that level of pain when it tried to rip my arm off?" Allie asked, and Zoe nodded; Allie smirked and leaned back on the couch, brushing her bangs from her face as she continued, "It was...life changing, in the worst kinds of ways. You don't ever really think about mortality being, like, a thing you have to face until it's staring you down. You were there, you saw what happened."

"Did it hurt?"

"It hurt like hell, yeah," Allie said, "I mean, I almost lost my hand, and I wasn't able to perform for months. You were there? That was almost a decade ago, you would've had to have been-"

"Yeah, I was a kid."

"Christ, what an awful thing to have to see."

"You were my hero," Zoe said, surprising Allie with her bluntness as she shakily approached the couch and sat on the ottoman across from her, "I...I begged my parents to take me to see you, because I worshipped you. So my parents finally agreed to take me, and that just happened to be the show we saw. I was so scared you were hurt, my folks couldn't console me all night long. Even after all that, I STILL wanted to do what you do."

Allie smiled, and nodded, "Well thank you, I'm glad to have had that kind of influence on someone."

Allie pulled a small backpack to her side up from the floor and unzipped it, reaching inside and digging around until she finally found what she was looking for...an orange pill bottle. She uncorked the top and took two of them, then exhaled deeply and relaxed again into the couch cushions. Zoe didn't ask anything about them, figured they weren't her business, and instead simply crossed her legs and shook her head.

"If you'd told me back then that I'd be working with you now," Zoe started, "I never would've believed it."

"Here's to pulling one over the man," Allie said, clinking her glass against her nails and then taking another sip.

                                                                            ***

"It's going to be a long road to recovery," the doctor said, "but you're young, you can absolutely do this. I'm going to give you prescription to Vicodin, but I think I should warn you that it can be highly addictive, and that many-"

"I appreciate that," Allie said, sitting up best she could in the hospital bed, "but I don't have an addictive personality."

"Even still, I think it's important that you make sure you don't overdo this," the doctor continued, "Far too many people overdose on painkillers every single day, and become highly reliant on them to the point where they can't function without them, and those are the ones that don't die. I'm just doing my medical duty."

"Okay, thank you," Allie said.

"A nurse will be in here shortly to clean your wounds," the doctor said, leaving the room. Allie laid back down and exhaled, shutting her eyes. When she opened them again, she saw a handsome man in a nurses uniform sitting beside her, gently washing her arm. He had short curly brown hair and green eyes. He dunked the small hand towel into a bucket of lukewarm water and massaged the wound where the tiger had nearly beaten clean through, smiling at her while he did it.

"Does this hurt?" he asked.

"Not really."

"How'd you get something like this?" he asked.

"I worked with a tiger. Won't be making that mistake again," she replied, "This is very sweet of you."

"Just doing my job. Turns out that today I happen to really enjoy it," he said, winking at her, making her laugh, as he asked, "I'm Nick, what's your name?"

"Allie Meers."

"It's nice to meet you Allie."

"It's nice to meet you too."

From that day on, Nick and Allie would be in one anothers lives, eventually becoming a couple, and while Allie struggled with her painkiller addiction, Nick was there. When she tried to quit painkillers and go to alcohol as a substitute vice, he was there. When she dropped out of rehab and started taking the pills again, this time without a prescription and instead getting them off the street - a rather easy feat in a place like Vegas - he was there. Allie was a mess, and Nick was the one who always cleaned her up.

Until he decided he couldn't do it anymore.

In Nick's defense...he didn't know he'd always be her nurse, even once she got out of the hospital.

                                                                        ***

When Allie woke up that night, Zoe was gone.

She struggled to roll over and get off the couch, and even once she was up she didn't know why she'd bothered. So Allie walked to the minibar in the penthouse loft and got on her knees, tugging on the door until it opened. She gazed inside, and finally pulled a bottle of gin out. She sighed and sat on the floor, until she realized one of the magnets she had on the fridge had slid to the ground. She picked it up and looked at it; a photo of her and Nick in DisneyLand a few years back, back when she'd first started rehab to get off the painkillers. After being sober for a few months, he decided to take her on a trip, surprising her.

Allie pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them, starting to cry. She cried for a solid twenty minutes before standing up, taking the bottle of rum and headed into the bathroom. The lavish bathroom of this Vegas penthouse in the Card Shark Casino was gorgeous, and it had a beautiful square black bathtub with gold trim. Allie undressed to her underwear, then turned the water on and waited for it to fill up with warm water, before climbing in and popping the top of the bottle off and beginning to drink.

She liked falling asleep in the bathtub. It meant she might drown, and the tiger hadn't taken her out...

...so she figured it was up to her to complete the task.

But she never really drowned.

Despite the wins she had in the casino, she was never really that lucky.