Lilian couldn't help but feel like a creep, even though she wasn't creeping. It's just that, with so many pretty girls in gorgeous gowns and swimsuits, she really became acutely aware of just how gay she actually was. Course, she wasn't here for the adult competition, that was just a side effect of these things being held on the same grounds. She was here to help judge and bolster support for the pageant for the little girls involved. Standing in the main foyer that connected the two show halls, tapping her pen on her clipboard as she watched yet another lithe, tall, perfectly maintained blonde bombshell in a one piece swimsuit stroll on by, Lilian chewed her lip until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"So," Patricia Kearning asked, "how does it feel to be on the circuit now that you've undergone all the training?"

"Gotta admit, didn't know there was training for something where you simply judge others appearances," Lilian remarked.

"Well, it isn't just the looks, it's the whole package. How they hold themselves, are they charismatic, are they talented, are they well minded individuals. We call them beauty pageants but I think that makes the name a misnomer to the general public because they think it's about physical beauty. It's not. It's about beauty as a human being," Kearning said, making Lilian nod in slow understanding. Kearning wasn't wrong, this was, in fact, the very viewpoint that Lilian herself had adapted over the years. And, at first, perhaps that was just her way of coping with being unwillingly involved in something so seemingly sexist growing up, but at this point she did genuinely believe it. Lilian looked around at all the little grls filing into the room in their various dresses, and she couldn't help but smile. Kearning stood by her side, arms crossed, and watched along with her. After a moment, Lilian turned back to Kearning, who just grinned and pushed her glasses up her face.

"What if I don't do it correctly? Last thing I want is to shatter some already fragile little girls self esteem," Lilian said, "if anything, I wanted to help bolster it for all of them. Make them see that their looks aren't the end all be all that society would like them to believe it is."

"And I think that's noble," Kearning said, "it's why I wanted you here, because I could tell you cared more than the others, in ways that the others were incapable of doing. You're gonna do fine, Lilian. I promise."

Kearning patted her on the back, then continued on her way, leaving Lilian to her thoughts. Her mind turned back to when she was doing this originally herself. How, growing up, she'd put so much stock into her beauty, and how tightly entwined that belief was with her own self worth. She bit her lip as her eyes scanned the room...all these young girls, all with so many hardships ahead of them, and how would they handle it? Her heart went out to them for things they didn't even know they would face yet. That's when her sight landed on one girl sitting alone on a bench, crossed legged, watching everyone else with a look of longing on her face. Lilian started to approach her when Kearning came back.

"Alright," she said, "let's get in there and get this show on the road!"

                                                                           ***

Alexis was surprised Ellen would opt to leave the house, but she did.

They'd scheduled a meet up in a small, local park, one that they'd gone to a lot when they were kids. It was an unusual park because it was circus themed, which gave Alexis the creeps as a child and those same creeps now as an adult. As she stood in front of a water fountain shaped like a clown, smoking a cigarette - Rick's still in her shirt pocket - she heard Ellen walked up beside her and stop. The sisters glanced at one another, and then back towards the water fountain as Alexis exhaled smoke.

"It's both such a great concept and a horrifying thing to witness; they make the water fountain look like a clown, but the water comes out of the flower on his lapel. It makes total sense, and yet no sense at all," Alexis said, "no kid wants to put their face that close to a clown."

"I'm sure some weirdo kid does," Ellen said.

Alexis and Ellen turned and headed into the park proper, with its circus tent playground and other various circus themed or circus adjacent equipment. As they walked, Ellen stuffed her hands into her coat pockets while Alexis lit up another cigarette and took a long drag before offering it to her sister, who politely declined. Alexis smirked.

"You never were one for vice," she said.

"I'm plenty for vice," Ellen replied, "it's just that the kind of vice I prefer isn't life threatening."

"Sexual?" Alexis asked, raising an eyebrow, making Ellen smirk.

"Please, as if I'd ever allow someone close enough to me to give them the chance," Ellen said, making Alexis laugh. Alexis knew a few things about her little sister by way of Geena; she knew Ellen liked easy to read chapter books because finishing that many in such a short span of time gave her a sense of accomplishment, she knew Ellen liked to eat white cheese and crackers for most of her snacks and she knew Ellen loved fashion so much, even if she didn't currently show it by her own example. Alexis took another long drag and exhaled. But the one thing she really knew was how disinterested in relationships and romance and sex Ellen was. Ellen was, apparently, completely asexual, and Alexis was a bit jealous, to be honest. She hated how much emphasis she placed on that kind of intimacy.

"So," Alexis said, "things at home don't seem great. I mean, dad seems to be kind of getting it together, but mom still seems really strung out, and you don't seem okay at all."

"Gee, thanks," Ellen replied, making Alexis chuckle.

"You know what I mean," Alexis said, "are you okay?"

"I can't leave them," Ellen managed to say, sounding so scared to admit it, "...they can't...they're our parents, they need help. I can't just leave like you and Geena did. Someone has to care about them, right? Besides themselves, I mean. I know people will be like 'no no, you owe your parents nothing!' but I simply can't accept that. I have to stay and help them."

Alexis wanted to tell Ellen to run. That, yes, those people were actually correct, and she didn't owe them anything. But she also knew Ellen wasn't going to listen to that. Alexis stopped and leaned against a wacky colored plastic slide, puffing on her cigarette as Ellen stopped and hugged herself self consciously.

"When I was in rehab," Alexis said, "I met this guy, and he was amazing. His name was Rick. Anyway, we wanted to be together, but he wasn't ready to be clean. Much as I would've loved to have been with him, I also told him he should get clean for himself, not just to be with me. Romantic of him, certainly, to be willing to do so, but it wasn't the right reason. But I wanted him to do it for himself because, like you and mom and dad, he doesn't owe his sobriety to me or anyone else but himself. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself. That's the thing I've had the hardest time coming to terms with."

Ellen looked down at the wood chips underneath their feet and scooted them around absent mindedly with her foot.

"He has this sister, he even tried to get clean for her and it wouldn't take. So when I tell you that you owe family nothing, I genuinely mean that, and his sister, unlike mom and dad for us, actually cares about him. I'm gonna help you if you want help, Ellen, but first you gotta wanna stop helping those who only hurt us."

Ellen nodded, then bit her lip.

"So..." she asked, finally looking up, her eyes catching her sisters, "...you never talked to his sister?"

                                                                               ***

Brian wanted everything to be perfect.

He'd cleaned up best he could, and he made some snacks, even bought a few different beers in case John wanted something. But more than that, he just wanted everything to be perfect for Maddie. It'd been a while since they'd had a visit, and he was so happy to see his daughter again. He stood in his living room, looking around and thinking about how much both their lives had changed in the last year or two. It was crazy to think that there used to be a family, a seemingly average suburban family living in this space, and now...now it was mostly him. He kept getting letters from his now ex-wife, but he wasn't opening them or acknowledging her. He didn't return them either, he just tucked them away in a shoebox and hid it in the closet. A knock on the door and Brian grinned, hobbling along on his cane to go answer it. As he tugged the door open, his eyes immediately landed on John, before noticing Maddie was still sitting in the car parked in the driveway, and his smile softened.

"Is she...is she not coming in?" Brian asked, as John made his way past, pulling his coat off and tossing it over the back of the couch.

"I think it's difficult for her," John replied, "this was her home her whole life, you know? She isn't our age, where we've had our parents home, our first apartment, maybe crashed with a few friends before finally settling down. A childs home is their home. So I guess I get the hesitancy. Still, I'm sure she'll come in in a bit."

"I...I bought beer in case you-"

"I appreciate that but I don't drink anymore," John said, realizing he'd had enough during his recent argument with Helena and not wanting to go back to drinking, before adding, "but maybe coffee?"

"I have excellent coffee," Brian said, shutting the door and heading past John to the kitchen. John seated himself at the table while Brian started making coffee, his head occasionally lifting up to look out the window over the sink at Johns car in the driveway, watching Maddie sitting in the front passenger seat, looking so defeated and sad. Brians heart couldn't help but ache for her.

"It isn't personal, I hope you know that," John said, "it's just hard for her to come back here, considering."

"No, I...I do get that," Brian said, "...I just wish I could've stopped any of this from happening in the first place."

"It wasn't your fault, that's the thing to keep in mind, none of what happened was your fault, your wife was a psycho, and I don't like using that terminology, but in your case, I think it's pretty warranted," John said, "I get it though, I do get it. I also had a sick wife who tried to hurt my family, so I understand wanting to have been able to stop it."

Brian turned and looked at John, who sighed.

"You and I ain't much different, man," John said.

                                                                             ***

It was a lunch break, and Lilian was starving. Miranda had packed her a lunch to take with her, and she was currently heading to the little cafeteria to eat it. As she walked in, she noticed groups of judges sitting together, and one of them caught her eye. Michael, disgusting Michael. There he was, sitting and laughing with the others, as if he'd never tried to molest her, or other girls. It was enough to make her stomach turn. That's when Lilian noticed the youngish woman sitting beside him staring at her, and for a moment, Lilian couldn't break eye contact. She felt as thought this woman was staring her down for a reason. But her stomach wasn't just turning because of this, it was also turning because she was hungry as hell, and that was more than enough to pull her out of this daydream. She finally found a spot where the little girl she'd seen that morning was sitting, and seated herself across from her.

"I love your dress," Lilian said happily, "very classic. You've been doing well so far in the competition and-"

"I don't think judges are supposed to talk to contestants," the little girl said.

"I know, but you seemed like you needed someone," Lilian said, "...are you feeling okay? You don't seem all that happy to be here."

The little girl shrugged and kept eating her carrot sticks, dipping them into a little container of ranch. Lilian sighed and looked around the room.

"I don't want to be here," the girl finally said, "I wanted to go to an after school program about science, but my dad me that this was important, would help make me feel better about myself. But I feel better about myself when I feel smart, and this doesn't make me feel smart. Doing science would make me feel smart. Not that girls can't be pretty AND smart, but..."

"I understand, my mom made me do it when I was little and I hated it," Lilian said, "but you're absolutely right, a girl can have more than one interest, can be more than one thing. It's good you recognize that and aren't allowing someon to put you in a box. Just skip the pageant stuff sometimes and go to the science program."

The girl looked up, confused.

"I can do that? I can just...not come here and go there instead?" she asked.

"Who says you can't?" Lilian replied, smiling, making the girl smile back. This was exactly what Lilian had come here for. Not to help judge little girls, but to help them judge themselves. To recognize that their value was more in their own hands than at the behest of others. Lilian couldn't help but feel as though she were already making a difference. Just then, Michael and that woman - presumably his assistant, as Lilian had recalled seeing her a few times before - walked past them and again they locked eyes. Once they were gone, the little girl scoffed.

"That guy creeps me out," she said, "he keeps asking if I need help with my dress or stockings."

"WHAT?" Lilian asked, pulling her attention back to the girl, "he WHAT?"

"Yeah, and I always make sure to lock the door when I'm changing," she added, "I don't trust him."

"Nor should you," Lilain said through her teeth, seething, "nor should you."

That was all she needed. Michael had to be stopped.

                                                                                ***

"Ran the car right into a wall," John said, as he and Brian headed down the hall towards a bedroom, "killed herself, was hoping to take our daughter with her, but thankfully she failed at that part. But now she's mentally crippled and unable to live by herself, or do much of anything for herself. I worry sometimes about what's going to happen once I'm gone, and she's finally alone."

Brian reached out and grabbed the doorknob, turning it and opening the door. Together, the men entered the room...Maddie's old bedroom.

"That's really awful," Brian said.

"I think a lot of people expect men to always be the villain, but sometimes that just isn't the truth," John said as they walked inside, smiling at the cute decor, "sometimes the men are the victims. It's hard to acknowledge, but it's true. Still. You did the best you could, and hey, you got your daughter to save you, that's not something a lot of parents get. You could've died."

"Just...can't believe that the woman I fathered a child with could be so heartless," Brian said as he followed John inside, looking at the photos Maddie had hung up on her wall of herself and her dad, and he smiled, "...but I was always Maddie's favorite, and I don't know, maybe Jessie felt some sort of resentment there. Either way, I just hope Maddie understands that this is still her home if she wants it to be, and just because it was bad once doesn't mean it can't be good now."

"I understand," Maddie said. The men turned to see her standing in the doorway, looking at them; she entered cautiously, and the men didn't make any sudden movements, almost as if watching a timid deer quietly so as not to spook it. She walked over to the dresser and picked up a doll, touching its hair, on the verge of tears as she said, "...I just wanted what every other kid seems to get. It isn't fair."

Brian approached his daughter and knelt in front of her, hands on her shoulders. She looked from the doll to her father, tears in both their eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm so sorry. You're right. Every child should be given that and it isn't fair you didn't. But we can try again. If you want to come home, you can. I feel pretty good at this point, I'm capable of taking care of myself mostly, and I'd like to have you come home, but only if you want to."

Maddie looked past her father at John, who just smiled warmly at her. She then looked back at her dad.

"...I can't," she said quietly, surprising him, "...I can't leave my life. I already left it once."

Brian was hurt, but he understood. She was a child. She needed stability. For the time being, the people she was with were giving that to her and she seemed to be flourishing under it, and for that he was grateful. She was taken care of, well loved, and he couldn't be happier. He hugged Maddie, and Maddie hugged him back, and for a split second, she felt like the little girl she used to be, back before all of this started. John, sitting on the bed, watched, his heart aching. He'd tried to be a good dad, and he was still trying. He and Alexis had recently gone over the adoption papers, and he was all set to turn them in, and yet he felt as though he would be betraying Star. He wanted to ask how she felt first. But sitting here, watching this display, he realized that sometimes, even if it takes a while, life cuts you a break.

And fuck did they need that now more than ever.

                                                                            ***

The bell over the door rang, as Gabby was undoing her apron and cleaning up stuff behind the counter. She didn't even look up as she tossed her hair back, hearing someone walk in.

"Sorry, we're about to close," Gabby said, "Unless you're here to rob me, then just take whatever you want. Just don't kill me. My life isn't valuable enough to trade for muffins."

She finally looked up and noticed it was a woman standing in front of the counter. Gabby stopped and walked over to the counter, looking confused. This woman was dressed as a pirate.

"Uh..." Gabby said, half laughing nervously.

"I have to get to work after this," Alexis said.

"Where do you work, Long John Silvers?" Gabby asked, making Alexis laugh.

"I'm Alexis," Alex said, "and uh...and I'm here to talk to you about your brother."

"Oh god, what did he do now?" Gabby asked, and Alexis chuckled, shaking her head.

"No, no, it's not like that, I met him in rehab a while back," Alexis said, "and he told me he had a sister. Told me about how he used to work here with you, how much he loved you. Just wanted to drop by and meet you cause...cause I guess I needed to be as close to him as possible without being able to be around him."

Gabby stopped and looked back at Alex, who was clearly struggling not to cry.

"...do you want some pie?" Gabby asked, "we could just talk, and-"

"Please," Alexis said, "please, I need to talk."

Meanwhile, Lilian, who was preparing to leave the building, stopped off first in the ladies bathroom. All in all it had been a successful day, and now she would get go home and ssee Miranda and have a lovely relaxing night together. Sure, seeing Michael made her skin crawl, but...but she figured she'd have to let that go, much as she didn't want to. She had her own experiences, heard things from others, but had no real proof of anything to hold him accountable for his actions towards the little girls he judged in the pageants, so why stir the pot? The stall door behind her unlatched as she was washing her hands and a woman stepped out.

"You know him don't you?" Anna asked, "my boss."

Lilian looked up at her in the mirror, turned the faucet off and turned to face her, confused.

"...he did something to you, didn't he?" Anna asked, continuing, "I could sense it, the way you kept looking at him. The few times you've spoken. You guys have history. Bad history. I'm tired of him letting little girls grow up to have bad history, and I'm tired of hiding things for him. So I'm giving this to you."

Anna pushed a folder into Lilian's hands, breathing so fast, clearly terrified.

"What...what is this?" Lilian asked.

"It's all the things he made me hide. Interactions with the girls he judged. Photos he took of them, alone and together. Everything. Transcripts of phone calls, whatever. You need to have this because you need to get this in the hands of someone who can stop him. I can't do this anymore. I can't let him keep hurting little girls."

Lilain couldn't believe her luck. Out of the clear blue sky, a literal angel had appeared and given her everything she'd needed to stop this disgusting predator. She'd often dreamt about the day she'd finally face Michael down in court and he would be held accountable for his crimes, but she never really thought that that day would actually come. Lilian put her arms around Anna and hugged her tightly, both women crying together. The ironic thing, she thought, was how these pageants were supposed to give men power over the women they judge, and yet women were bonding together to take them down.

She just hoped he would appreciate the irony when he was arrested.