"My parents gave me cocoa after my brother died," Lux said.

She was sitting at the table in the kitchen, the glass, piping hot and full of marshmallows, in front of her. Lilian, Miranda and Maddie were all sitting around her, just watching, waiting for her to talk when she was comfortable. Lux sighed and reached out for the glass, turning it around a little, looking at the imagery that was on it. She then pulled her hand back and set it down in her lap with the other one once more.

"I guess they thought, I don't know," she continued, shrugging, "that somehow cocoa would fix it, but really, everything was already fixed. He was dead."

Lilian exhaled silently, unsure of how exactly she had become the bastion for safe harbor for young, terrified girls. First Maddie, now Lux. She didn't mind. Nobody had helped her when she'd been a child, so now, if anything, she reveled in the fact that she could manage to protect kids this way, but it was still hard to get used to. Lux picked up the cocoa and took a nice, long sip, letting it warm her insides. She then set the mug back down on the table.

"I don't wanna say anything to them, about what he did, because they'll just say 'oh, he was a boy, boys are curious' and I don't want to ruin their memory of him, but I also don't feel like it's fair for me to be trapped with it alone," Lux continued, "I'm sorry for coming here."

"Don't be sorry, this is a safe environment," Miranda said, reaching out and rubbing her back, "nobody here is going to judge you, and we all believe you."

Lilian got up and walked away from the table, Maddie hot on her heels. As Lilian entered the hall bathroom, Maddie did so right after her, shutting the door behind them.

"What do we do?" Maddie asked.

"I really don't know," Lilian said, "her parents aren't abusing her, if anything her home life is now safer than it was, so it isn't like it was with you, where she needs a place to go. I think just listening to her, being her friend, is enough for the moment."

"What if it isn't enough?" Maddie asked, causing Lilian to stop what she was doing and look at her; Maddie continued, fidgeting with the tassels on her sweatshirt and looking at the ground, "what if...what if she needs more than that? Than what we can give her? You keep saying you're gonna fight for girls who are abused because you almost were, so we should be the perfect people for her to be with, right?"

Lilian smirked. This was what she'd liked having Maddie around for. To remind her of why she was doing what she was doing. Lilian sat on the side of the tub, Maddie sitting beside her, but neither saying a word for a few moments. Finally, when enough silence had filled the air, Lilian sighed and shook her head.

"You're smart," she said, "much smarter than I was at your age, that's for damn sure. I'm proud of you."

Maddie couldn't help but blush, as Lilian pulled her in and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"Let's make her feel at home then, since she probably never has," Lilian said, Maddie nodding eagerly in agreement.

                                                                           ***

"Explain it to me," John said.

He and Helena had agreed to go out for coffee and donuts, a very 'adult' thing to do, but he was more than happy to do so. He wanted to know more about her, specifically about her kid. Helena, however, didn't seem all that interested in diving deeper into the subject.

"Explain yours first," she replied, biting into a sprinkled donut.

"My wife...ex wife, I guess...are they an ex if you're widowed?"

"That is an excellent question," Helena said, chuckling.

"Well, whatever terminology works, she and I were very much the same. Addicts. Drink. Drugs. Whatever. It's why I've felt so protective over Alexis, cause I saw myself, my wife, in her. I knew where that was headed, and it nearly ended the same way, albeit not intentionally, unlike my wife. See, I got sober. Once we discovered we were having a baby, I knew I couldn't keep going on the way I had been, and it was time to grow the fuck up. This kid deserved better. Not that we were, like, dangerous or gross, but just...it isn't fair to a child to bring it into that kind of environment, regardless of your pure hearted intentions. So I got sober. But my wife...she just...she couldn't handle it. She needed to self medicate."

"A lot of them do, no judgment," Helena said, picking up her coffee and sipping it.

"Exactly, I understood, I didn't hold it against her at all," John replied, "I just focused on my own sobriety, and our daughter. But she couldn't cope. So one night she piled herself and our kid in the car, wrote a note, took a whole lotta everything and drove the car straight into a wall at the highest speed she could."

"jesus, John," Helena whispered, sounding genuinely shocked, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Somehow my daughter survived, and I'm so happy she's here," John said, "she's my whole world. Everything that I do I do for her. That's why I want her to come work with me, with us, because...because it would make her so happy. Everyone here is understanding, there's no danger in our job. I understand it might get some strange looks, but if we put her specifically for jobs for developmentally disabled kids, like herself, then it should be fine. If anything, it would be relieving to the child, to their parents, to see an 'adult' with these issues being self sufficient, totally capable of being okay in the world after adolescence."

Helena smiled. She admitted John's fortitude, she had to admit. His refusal to back down for what he wanted for his kid. She lifted her coffee back to her lips and sipped again, then finished her donut and wiped her hands on the napkin on the table she'd been using.

"I'm so sorry," she said, "that that happened to you, to her, to your wife. That's absolutely awful. And you're right. What we do isn't dangerous, and we could find a place for her, yes. None of what you said can realistically be argued with. I only wish I had the chance to do the same as you for Adam."

"Why can't you?" John asked, picking a donut hole from a box and popping it in his mouth, chewing. Helena sighed.

There was an answer. She just didn't like to say it.

                                                                              ***

Alexis had been asleep when she'd gotten the call.

It woke her up from a deep snooze, scaring her. She reached down off the couch and fondled the floor nearby for her phone, and eventually answered only to hear her sister, Ellen, in a hushed voice, asking for help. Alexis sat up and pushed her messy hair from her face, now fully awake instantly.

"What's going on?" she had asked, and Ellen hung up. That was all Alexis needed. She called Geena, but no answer. She swore under her breath, then dialed John, but, again, got no answer. Alexis was starting to get frustrated. Where was everyone that mattered when she needed them? She tried Lilian. No answer. Now getting outright pissed, Alexis climbed off the couch and pulled some pants on, then knew exactly who she could go to.

Rick had been stocking various cheese in a display case that day for work. Not that he'd ever admit it, but he found this kind of menial task work soothing, in an almost hypnotic, zen like way. He liked organizing. He liked standing back, when it was all said and done, and admiring his handiwork. Rick backed away from the display, hands proudly on his hips, and he smiled. Suddenly he felt the presence of someone nearby and looked to see Alexis standing there next to him.

"...this is what you find joy in now?" Alexis asked, and Rick nodded, grinning.

"God I wanna get fucked up," he replied, making her laugh before he asked, "what are you doing here anyway? Are you gonna start outright stalking me, cause that could be kinda hot."

"I need your help," Alexis said. Rick gathered the now empty boxes and began carrying them to the back room, Alexis hot on his heels; she continued, "nobody else is answering me, and...and to be honest, I'm not sure I'd trust anyone else considering it has to do with a sibling, and you have an amazing sister."

As they reached the backroom, Rick dropped the boxes into a nearby pile then turned to face her.

"You met my sister?" he asked.

"I went and looked her up, yes," Alexis remarked, "yes, and she's...she's awesome, dude. But that's why I feel safest coming to you. My sister needs help, and I...I need you, Rick. I can't go back to our house alone."

"Sure you can," Rick said, "you can do anything you want."

"Okay, how about I don't WANT to, then?" Alexis said, "is that enough of an admission for you. Our parents made our youth a living hell. Why do you think I ended up an addict to begin with? I'm only okay now because my sister Geena and my friend John refused to let me go any further down that path. Now Ellen needs help, and I can be the one to give that to her."

"Then why the fuck you coming to me for?" Rick asked, stopping working and staring at her, adding, "after all, you and I made different choices. Look where you are now, compared to where I am. You got sober. You're working that job you love. I'm stocking cheese. Now I'm not saying I don't like stocking cheese, because I do, but what good could I really be for you? To bring an addict to help save someone from other addicts? That sounds ridiculous, right?"

Alexis couldn't even argue. He was right. She sat down on a nearby crate and buried her face in her hands, speaking muffled.

"Yes, realistically speaking it's a bad idea, and you're right, I don't need you to come with me," Alexis said.

"Exactly, you're a strong, independent woman," Rick said, leaning back against the shelving, folding his arms.

"I will kill you in this room and nobody will find you," Alexis replied, "so maybe I don't need you to come with me, but how about I want you to? Is that a valid enough fucking reason for your logic?"

"Alright, well, if you're gonna be so pathetic as to beg, then I suppose I have no choice but to give into your desires," Rick said. He sat down on the crate beside her and, taking her chin between his fingers, turned her face to meet his, making her blush as he added, "I joke, but I'm glad you came to me. I'm glad you trust me enough. And you know I would do anything for you."

Alexis nodded slowly as he pressed his lips against hers, and she happily kissed him back. Once they parted, he grinned, patting her thigh.

"Let's go save your sister," he said.

                                                                         ***

Lilian and Maddie had gone out to get take out for everyone, leaving Lux and Miranda alone. Lux was still sitting at the table, looking at her now empty cocoa mug, while Miranda did some dishes in the kitchen behind her. Neither one had said a word since the others had left, but Lux appreciated the small comfort of Miranda's presence, especially in doing something so normal and mundane in proximity to her. After a bit, she heard the water shut off, Miranda sigh, and then she saw Miranda pull out a chair at the table and sit beside her.

"I know it isn't the same, but," Miranda started, "for what it's worth, I know what it's like not to be heard. Listened to. Understood or told your feelings are lesser than mens. Back before I transitioned, if I had an opinion, people may not have respected it, but they at least heard it and acknowledged it with sincerity, because I was a man. But now? Now I'm lucky if anyone takes me seriously. Women are just...we're a second class citizen. That's all there is to it. And moreso if we're women that don't follow the norm. Women who were abused, traumatized, or maybe, in my case, didn't grow up as women."

Lux looked at Miranda and listened, taking it all in.

"For what it's worth, I won't tell you that your feelings are valid. You know they are. You don't need someone else to confirm that. What good does a strangers confirmation give you on something you already know for certain yourself? And I won't tell you that you're stronger as a result of it either, because all that does is insinuate that you have to undergo intense trauma in order to be worthy of respect and strength, which is also bullshit. But what I will say is this...nobody can ever tell you who you are otherwise, and that's worth a lot. Trust me on this."

Lux stared at Miranda and nodded slowly, understanding.

"So even if your folks don't love you as much as you wanted, other people do, and I know it can hurt to not have the love of your family, believe me I know first hand, there's other people who are your family, even if they aren't blood related, and guess what, those people love you because of who you are, not because you're who they expected you to be. If people don't love you because you failed to meet some bullshit expectation set before your birth, then how real was their love to begin with, like Maddie's mom," Miranda said, and Lux, without warning, lunged forward, hugging her and crying. Miranda rubbed her back gently, soothing the poor, distraught young girl.

Miranda knew what it was like to be a terrified little girl, contantly let down by the adults around her, and, like Lilian, she refused to play that same role.

                                                                          ***

"Loss, whatever kind, isn't something you're ever really prepared for, or equipped to handle, no matter how much you might think you are," Helena said, "all the psyching up and preparation in the world won't mean shit when the chips are down, and loss is at your front door."

Alexis and Rick could hear the shouting, the screaming, the glass smashing from inside the house as they exited the car in the driveway. They walked briskly up to the house and Alexis tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge, clearly locked. Rick pushed her out of the way slightly, backed up and, using all his force, kicked the door in. Alexis had to admit...she would've jumped him right then and there had they not been in public. Together they headed inside and found themselves in the small foyer, unsure exactly where Ellen was.

"Everything comes at you so fast, and, in the moment, you make rash decisions that could either help or hurt you or soomeone else down the line, regardless of whether your intention is good hearted or not," Helena continued, "because even trying to do the right thing can result in the wrong thing happening, and things getting worse for everyone."

That's when they saw Ellen come tumbling down the stairs, their parents fighting at the top of it. Rick grabbed Ellen off the ground, as Alexis looked around and noticed a baseball bat in the umbrella can by the door. Rick noticed a small bag of something clutched in Ellens hand and instantly recognized it as cocaine, then looked up as her father arrived at the bottom step and kicked him in the face, sending him onto his back. And then, without any warning otherwise, Rick, as he was laying there staring at the ceiling, nursing his jaw, heard screaming. He craned his neck up and witnessed Alexis beating her father in the face with the bar while her mother screamed at the top of the stairs. Rick, eyes wide, eventually pulled himself back up off the floor, grabbed Alexis, and pulled her away. Ellen scrambled up and raced out the front door, as Rick held Alexis's face in his hands and looked in her eyes.

"We do things for those that we love without thinking of the ramifications of our actions, because, well, if we believe we're doing them for the right reasons, why would we assume those ramifications be negative?" Helena asked, "but even our goodhearted actions can have unintended negative consequences. Consequences that can, in the end, ruin our lives."

Alexis pushed forward and kissed Rick, and he kissed her back. After the kiss, lips barely apart as she breathed into his mouth, they both glanced towards her father, unmoving on the floor, and she whispered, "...what do we do?"

"...run," Rick said, "we run."

And so they did. They were out the door, in the car with Ellen and down the street in seconds flat. John ate another donut hole and wiped his hands on his pants as Helena finished her coffee and put her now empty cup on the table between them.

"So what happened?" John asked, "why can't you bring Adam into work the way I want to bring Star? You say you visit him all the time, just bring it up, see what he says."

"He won't say anything John," Helena said, "because he's dead."

That, John had to admit, he did't know how to respond to.