The reviews, god the reviews.
Not a single negative one among them. Even the literary snobs who usually would hate this sort of gimmick couldn't bring themselves to talk dirty on Nat's book. The reviews online, as well, were excellent. People were saying how they bought the book expecting yet another 'self help guru spouting the usual positivity nonsense" and instead were greeted with having to face their own expectations, thus leading them to think about who they were as people and how they saw others. How they saw themselves. Misty had taken a gamble unlike any gamble, but she'd achieved her goal, and Nat was reaping the rewards. Sitting on her laptop in her kitchen, scrolling through a seemingly endless parade of reviews on various sites, Natasha just couldn't help but stay smiling like an idiot. The kitchen side door opened, and Nat turned to see Sharla, holding a bottle of wine.
"You read my mind," Nat said, "nice to have something positive to celebrate for a change."
"I can't even believe it," Sharla replied as she uncorked the bottle and grabbed two glasses from a nearby cupboard, adding, "you sold them literally nothing and they love you for it. That should be a scam. Instead, they're seeing it from the perspective of how they shouldn't take anyones advice about their lives seriously, except perhaps actual medical professionals."
"Exactly, I'm just some woman on TV, or the internet, now, and I'm not capable of running strangers lives. Hell, I'm barely capable of running my own," Nat said as Sharla poured the wine and they each took a sip; Nat wiped her mouth on her sleeve and sighed, shaking her head, "goddamn, Sharla...this is unreal. I was furious at Misty, but...she was right. She really did know me best."
"Where is everyone?" Sharla asked, looking around.
"Jay should be back in a bit, he's out doing a shoot elsewhere. Corrine is at Ashley's, I think, and Violet said she was going to Noreen's," Nat said, "so for the first time in a while, I'm completely alone. Or, at least, I was, before you and your wine showed up."
"I can leave, if you'd prefer, you hermit," Sharla said, making Nat laugh and shake her head.
"Nah, I'm happy to get to share in my success with my best friend," Nat said, the two women clinking their glasses together. As Sharla lifted hers to her lips, she smirked. She was a best friend. All she'd ever hoped for in her life was for another woman to like her enough to call her her best friend, and now she finally had it. What a perfect life, she thought. What more could someone want?
***
Corrine opened the door to find Stephen standing on the porch.
"Oh," she mumbled, her hair hiding half her face, "this is awkward. Ashley isn't here. She's out getting dinner."
"That's fine, I'm mostly here to get more clothes, so," Stephen said, holding up the plastic tub he had in his hands. Corrine stepped aside and let him in. Stephen entered, thanking her, and headed to the bedroom, Corrine following him. As he tossed the tub on the bed and started rooting through the dresser and the closet, he couldn't help but notice her eyes on him. From where she stood, cross armed in the doorway, he felt like he was being surveyed like some kind of wild animal. After a few minutes, he stopped and turned to her, a single boot in his hands.
"You know, I'm not gonna steal something from my own house," he said, "also where is my other boot?"
"Oh, I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I just didn't know what else to do," Corrine said, stammering.
"It's fine, sorry, I'm...I just...I feel weird about everything," Stephen said as Corrine came further into the room and sat on the bed; Stephen continued his digging through the closet, tossing stuff into the tub as he added, "we haven't really gotten to speak much, and not just since things happened but, like, ever, really. I don't know anything about you, honestly, and that's what really hurts, I think. My girlfriend left me for someone I don't know anything about."
"What's to know? I edit film and I like animals," Corrine answered, shrugging.
"I guess more what I mean is, like..."
Stephen turned to look at her, and Corrine looked down at her shoes.
"...why you?" he asked, "and I don't mean that in a personal way, please don't take it like that. I guess I just...I don't understand why she would choose someone like you, so..."
Stephen didn't even know what word he was looking for as Corrine sat in torturous anxiety, waiting to be unintentionally insulted. After a bit Stephen gave up and sat on the bed beside her. Neither one said anything for a while, instead simply sitting there, with the soft whirring of the ceiling fan filling the silence around them. After a bit, Stephen exhaled and looked down at his hands.
"I guess I'm just upset," he said.
"Understandable," Corrine said, shrugging, "given everything that's happened. And it's stupid to even give you the usual statements people give in these sorts of situations, you know, where they're like 'oh we didn't mean for this to happen' or whatever, cause I feel like that's usually a given. I think most people don't set out to hurt those they love and if they do then they're just bad people."
"Not just that, but...she wasn't who I thought she was, hell, she wasn't even who she thought she was. I can't be mad at her for discovering something about herself, or at the very least, coming to terms with it," Stephen said, "ya know, I remember this one time, about a week after Nat and I officially divorced, and Ashley found me crying cause during the divorce proceedings, Nat told me that she didn't think we were ever supposed to be together. That hurt so deep. Ashley told me that sometimes we end up with the wrong people but that it can lead to us ending up with the right people. I didn't know she meant that for herself, though."
Corrine felt her heart break a little. She reached out and put a hand on Stephen's back and he smiled weakly at this awkward gesture of affection.
"I guess," Stephen said, "it still hurts, regardless. But...but Nat was right the entire time, about, you know, listening to yourself. Trusting yourself. That's what Ashley has done and...and I'd never want to force her to be someone she isn't. Not when I've seen now how happy she is with you firsthand. All I want is for her to be happy, just like all I wanted was for Natty to be happy. All I want is for my daughter to be happy. I just want the women in my life to be happy."
Corrine blushed. Stephen genuinely was a good man, and they were hard to find. As far as fathers went, Violet was lucky.
"I guess the hardest part, in the end, besides the pain," Stephen finished, "is that I don't know what I want, or if I deserve to be happy. I don't even know that I believe in romance anymore. What if something happens again? Is it even worth it at this point, you know?"
"It's always worth it," Corrine said, "I felt the same way after the girl I liked left me. I just thought 'well, what's the use in putting in effort if it won't ultimately be reciprocated', but...it is worth it. Nat would tell you the same thing. Opening yourself to people, the way I've opened myself to her, Violet, Ashley...it does improve your life. The only thing you can do after a loss like that is just keep going, cause unfortunately, the alternative is frowned upon."
Stephen laughed, which made Corrine laugh. He hadn't really ever spoken to her much until now, but he could see what Natasha liked about her, why she'd become so attached, and frankly, he could even see what Ashley found attractive. Stephen turned and hugged her, taking her by surprise, and whispering 'thank you'. Corrine hugged him back and then offered to help him pack. They never did find his other boot though.
***
"I was honestly kinda livid at first," Nat said.
She and Sharla had moved from the kitchen to the living room, both sitting on the couch, sipping wine and eating salmon, cheese and crackers, a snack Sharla herself had put together for them.
"I don't blame you, it was a weird decision, but it turned out to be the best," Sharla replied, licking the wine from her lips, "so what do you think you'll do now?"
"Honestly, no idea. Show will be off air for a while after this week, and honestly...I might just go on vacation. I can't remember the last vacation I took, and before you add something snarky, no, the livestream didn't count. That was an unexpected brief hiatus. I want a full on vacation with pedicures and manicures and the whole spa treatment and nice new restaurants."
"I wouldn't blame you if you did," Sharla said, shrugging, "I mean, you work yourself to death, you deserve a break. You gonna go by yourself or?"
"Of course not, I'll take Violet, and hell, if her father lets me, we'll take Courtney too. Violet would be thrilled at that," Nat said.
A moment passed as Nat poured herself more wine while Sharla ate a snack. After a bit of chewing and swallowing, following it up with wine, Sharla cleared her throat and smirked.
"And what about Jay?" she asked.
"What about Jay?" Nat echoed.
"You gonna take him too?"
"Yeah, I'll stuff him in a pet carrier and drag him along," Nat said, half joking, "he's not my dog, he's allowed to come or stay as he pleases. I mean, I'll ask him, but I won't force him."
"What's going on between you two now? Cause you guys hired a few more cameramen, and if he's not the one doing that anymore, if he's just in charge of the financial end of things, where does that leave you guys?"
"What, you think his job as my cinematographer was a direct relation to my attraction to him?'
"First of all, I don't think calling what he does cinematography is fair," Sharla said, the both of them laughing as she added, "but no, I just mean...if he no longer has to be directly involved on a daily or weekly basis, depending on the upload schedule, then, ya know, where does that leave things? You have to admit having constant access to him was probably something helped spur those feelings, right?"
"Kind of, but not really," Nat replied, shrugging, "I mean...he left the station with me. He was supportive the entire time. Of every decision, actually. I mean, sure, proximity helps, you're not wrong, and I'd be stupid to deny it, but it wasn't the reason. The reason is because he's a good man and he's good to my daughter and I love him."
She suddenly realized that, in all the time they'd been together, she couldn't remember ever actually saying that to him. She could't recall telling Jay she loved him, truly and deeply. She might've said it in passing, or in reciprocation, but never with the force or feeling that left her mouth like it just did now. Suddenly she felt like she and Jay had to have a talk.
***
"Why are you scared?" Noreen asked.
Violet had gone to Noreen's to ask for advice, and they were currently sitting in Noreen's bedroom, Noreen cross legged on the bed while Violet lay upside down on it on her back. Violet shrugged in response, and Noreen laughed. Such a typical teenager response.
"It's my dad," Violet said, "um, my mom, uh, was really cool about everything, you know? But my dad...Aunt Ashley just left him for a woman, and what if, um, what if he, uh, like..."
"Hates you for it too? Is that what you're afraid of? You think he'll think 'god, even my own daughter is queer' and be disappointed?" Noreen asked and Violet nodded; Noreen said and laid on her back as well beside Violet as she added, "well, it's always a possibility, but I don't think that would happen. Stephen seems nice, and from what you've told me, he loves you so much."
Violet nodded, but didn't respond. She ran through the last few weeks in her head. Courtney's surgery, recovering, their talk in the hospital, and that kiss...god that kiss. Violet never once thought she'd be kissing anyone, let alone another girl. Especially not her only friend. But everytime she reminded herself of it, she felt so happy inside, and she couldn't help but start to smile. She wanted to share her joy with her father, but she was scared. She'd been scared of telling her mother too, but in the end, she knew her mother would accept her no matter what. After all, Nat had let a lesbian move in with them without questioning a thing. Stephen, on the other hand...well, he'd done the same, but unintentionally.
"Dads are weird," Noreen said, continuing, "moms are always almost supportive, even if they start out unsupportive they eventually come back around. But dads can be...fickle. But honestly, your dad...I'd be surprised if he was anything but supportive and understanding as well."
Violet knew, logically, that this was the case. But that didn't make her less scared. She started to chew on her hair and wondered when she should tell him...
"And," Noreen added, "you also don't have to say anything ever. Nobody is required to come out. You can just be yourself and he can just be forced to grapple with it as he learns about it. That's also an option. You and Courtney aren't...you know?"
"Ew," Violet said, scowling, "I don't ever wanna do that with anyone."
Noreen laughed and nodded.
"Okay, gotcha," Noreen said, "just making sure. You're my niece, I want you to be safe, that's all. But, if you're attaching the asexual label to yourself, then that's good to know as well. Whatever you decide, kiddo, you know I'll support you. I'm just happy you've learned some things about yourself."
"Me too," Violet said, "especially since learning is really hard for me!"
They both started laughing, and it felt good. It felt to feel good, to be able to joke about herself. Violet finally felt like she had a full family again, and she honestly couldn't be happier.
***
Sitting in the kitchen at opposite ends of the table, each eating from their own takeout containers, Corrine didn't know how to bring up what had happened today. As she scooped more rice with her folk, watching Ashley pick up her soup and sip it carefully, she knew she should, but how? The room was barely lit, the dimmer switched turned down to create a comforting and romantic ambiance, and Corrine certainly felt relaxed outside of this one thing. After she ate a potsticker, she then cleared her throat and tossed her hair a little.
"Stephen came by today," she said flatly, causing Ashley to almost choke on soup before setting the container down.
"Run that by me again?" she asked.
"Stephen came by today," Corrine repeated, "but he just came to get some things, clothes mostly. But we did sit and talk, mostly about you. Well, actually, kinda about your view of me, now that I think about it. He doesn't understand how you can be with someone like me. Why you would choose me, of all people, to love. And the thing is...I don't get it either, but I've also stopped questioning it."
Ashley smiled and posted an elbow up on the table, resting her chin in her hand.
"Is that so?" she asked softly.
"Mhm," Corrine said, nodding, "because the fact of the matter is, you do. You did choose me and you do love me and who am I to doubt what you say. You aren't a liar. Why would you lie about that, especially now with the fallout that's come of it? So frankly, I don't really care anymore, and it feels good to just feel stable, but Stephen...I don't know if Stephen will ever feel stable again honestly, and that's worrying."
Ashley nodded, frowning a bit.
"Yeah," she said quietly, "yeah I know. And I feel bad about him getting caught in the unintentional crossfire of my discovery of myself, or rather my acceptance of it, but he's a blameless victim. And, for what it's worth, when I needed someone, he was there. I don't regret a minute we had together, outside of hurting my sister, of course. But he'll be okay. With Nat to guide him the way she does everyone, he'll be fine. He's a grown man, and he's not bad at recognizing or processing his emotions unlike other men it seems like. But you...you're right. There's no reason to doubt."
Corrine blushed and looked down at the food on the table to hide her embarrassment.
"It's funny," Corrine said, as Ashley got up and turned off the dimmer, turning the room to near pitch black as she walked towards Corrine; "I always thought I knew what being loved actually felt like, but it turned out that was nothing more than young infatuation. You actually love me. And now that I have you, I don't ever wanna be loved by anyone else."
"Good," Ashley whispered as she sat in Corrine's lap, "because nobody else is allowed to love you but me."
And with that she held her face and kissed her.
***
Nat was laying in bed by the time Jay got back to the house. Granted she was in bed proper, she was more laying atop it, still drinking wine, eating the snacks Sharla had made that early evening, and just browsing travel sites on her laptop. Jay entered the bedroom and pulled off his jacket, then turned to face the bed, tossing the jacket on it, standing and staring at her. Natasha smiled and shut the lid of her laptop.
"Hey, busy day?" she asked.
"I need to tell you something," Jay said, and Nat felt her stomach drop as he sat on the end of the bed; he cleared his throat and continued, "um...when we decided to leave the station, and I decided to be your cameraman, and we went on this joint venture together, of course picking up others along the way, I honestly didn't see it in any way that meant longevity, it terms of career. I want to do other things. Now that we have other camera men, I feel like I'm able to."
"You're absolutely not obligated to do just my show," Nat said, "you know that."
"I know, but that was kind of the thing holding us to eachother," Jay said, "and, I mean, now I'm handling the financial end of things, so I'll always be involved regardless, but I want there to be a less work related reason to be involved."
Nat sat up, now curious.
"Like what? What did you have in mind? Cause I was planning a vacation, and if you wanna come then I'd love-"
"I need more than a vacation, Natasha," Jay said, "I need more in general. But I'm afraid, having been through what you've been through, you'll never want more again."
"Who said I don't want more? I always want more! I'm gluttenous!" Nat said, making him laugh. Jay reached into the coat pocket and pulled out a small box. Nat didn't even need anything more, she knew exactly what this was, and she bit her lip in an attempt not to cry.
"If that's the case," Jay said, "then let me do this properly."
He climbed down from the bed and got on one knee.
"You are, without a doubt, the single most amazing woman I've ever met. You're ambitious and driven and creative, and such a genuinely good hearted person. When you wanted me to leave the station with you, I was shocked, but thrilled at such an opportunity. And ever since then, god...my life is not what I thought it would be, but I wouldn't want it to be anything else, wouldn't wanna it to be with anyone else. You're so beautiful, Natasha, and I'm so happy to have spent these last few years with you, so maybe we can spend even more years together, if you'll marry me."
Jay opened the lid of the little box, and Natasha didn't even respond with anything other than a nod and started crying. She leaned down and hugged him, making him laugh. After the hug, she pulled away and he slid the ring on her finger, then kissed her. Of all the things she expected to find during her career - creative fulfillment, success, financial independency - the one thing she didn't expect was love, especially not after how Stephen had left.
And again...she sort of owed this to Sharla. Sharla was the one who had mentioned how cute Jay was, and how right they seemed together. Natasha really was right when she'd called her her best friend.
Not a single negative one among them. Even the literary snobs who usually would hate this sort of gimmick couldn't bring themselves to talk dirty on Nat's book. The reviews online, as well, were excellent. People were saying how they bought the book expecting yet another 'self help guru spouting the usual positivity nonsense" and instead were greeted with having to face their own expectations, thus leading them to think about who they were as people and how they saw others. How they saw themselves. Misty had taken a gamble unlike any gamble, but she'd achieved her goal, and Nat was reaping the rewards. Sitting on her laptop in her kitchen, scrolling through a seemingly endless parade of reviews on various sites, Natasha just couldn't help but stay smiling like an idiot. The kitchen side door opened, and Nat turned to see Sharla, holding a bottle of wine.
"You read my mind," Nat said, "nice to have something positive to celebrate for a change."
"I can't even believe it," Sharla replied as she uncorked the bottle and grabbed two glasses from a nearby cupboard, adding, "you sold them literally nothing and they love you for it. That should be a scam. Instead, they're seeing it from the perspective of how they shouldn't take anyones advice about their lives seriously, except perhaps actual medical professionals."
"Exactly, I'm just some woman on TV, or the internet, now, and I'm not capable of running strangers lives. Hell, I'm barely capable of running my own," Nat said as Sharla poured the wine and they each took a sip; Nat wiped her mouth on her sleeve and sighed, shaking her head, "goddamn, Sharla...this is unreal. I was furious at Misty, but...she was right. She really did know me best."
"Where is everyone?" Sharla asked, looking around.
"Jay should be back in a bit, he's out doing a shoot elsewhere. Corrine is at Ashley's, I think, and Violet said she was going to Noreen's," Nat said, "so for the first time in a while, I'm completely alone. Or, at least, I was, before you and your wine showed up."
"I can leave, if you'd prefer, you hermit," Sharla said, making Nat laugh and shake her head.
"Nah, I'm happy to get to share in my success with my best friend," Nat said, the two women clinking their glasses together. As Sharla lifted hers to her lips, she smirked. She was a best friend. All she'd ever hoped for in her life was for another woman to like her enough to call her her best friend, and now she finally had it. What a perfect life, she thought. What more could someone want?
***
Corrine opened the door to find Stephen standing on the porch.
"Oh," she mumbled, her hair hiding half her face, "this is awkward. Ashley isn't here. She's out getting dinner."
"That's fine, I'm mostly here to get more clothes, so," Stephen said, holding up the plastic tub he had in his hands. Corrine stepped aside and let him in. Stephen entered, thanking her, and headed to the bedroom, Corrine following him. As he tossed the tub on the bed and started rooting through the dresser and the closet, he couldn't help but notice her eyes on him. From where she stood, cross armed in the doorway, he felt like he was being surveyed like some kind of wild animal. After a few minutes, he stopped and turned to her, a single boot in his hands.
"You know, I'm not gonna steal something from my own house," he said, "also where is my other boot?"
"Oh, I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I just didn't know what else to do," Corrine said, stammering.
"It's fine, sorry, I'm...I just...I feel weird about everything," Stephen said as Corrine came further into the room and sat on the bed; Stephen continued his digging through the closet, tossing stuff into the tub as he added, "we haven't really gotten to speak much, and not just since things happened but, like, ever, really. I don't know anything about you, honestly, and that's what really hurts, I think. My girlfriend left me for someone I don't know anything about."
"What's to know? I edit film and I like animals," Corrine answered, shrugging.
"I guess more what I mean is, like..."
Stephen turned to look at her, and Corrine looked down at her shoes.
"...why you?" he asked, "and I don't mean that in a personal way, please don't take it like that. I guess I just...I don't understand why she would choose someone like you, so..."
Stephen didn't even know what word he was looking for as Corrine sat in torturous anxiety, waiting to be unintentionally insulted. After a bit Stephen gave up and sat on the bed beside her. Neither one said anything for a while, instead simply sitting there, with the soft whirring of the ceiling fan filling the silence around them. After a bit, Stephen exhaled and looked down at his hands.
"I guess I'm just upset," he said.
"Understandable," Corrine said, shrugging, "given everything that's happened. And it's stupid to even give you the usual statements people give in these sorts of situations, you know, where they're like 'oh we didn't mean for this to happen' or whatever, cause I feel like that's usually a given. I think most people don't set out to hurt those they love and if they do then they're just bad people."
"Not just that, but...she wasn't who I thought she was, hell, she wasn't even who she thought she was. I can't be mad at her for discovering something about herself, or at the very least, coming to terms with it," Stephen said, "ya know, I remember this one time, about a week after Nat and I officially divorced, and Ashley found me crying cause during the divorce proceedings, Nat told me that she didn't think we were ever supposed to be together. That hurt so deep. Ashley told me that sometimes we end up with the wrong people but that it can lead to us ending up with the right people. I didn't know she meant that for herself, though."
Corrine felt her heart break a little. She reached out and put a hand on Stephen's back and he smiled weakly at this awkward gesture of affection.
"I guess," Stephen said, "it still hurts, regardless. But...but Nat was right the entire time, about, you know, listening to yourself. Trusting yourself. That's what Ashley has done and...and I'd never want to force her to be someone she isn't. Not when I've seen now how happy she is with you firsthand. All I want is for her to be happy, just like all I wanted was for Natty to be happy. All I want is for my daughter to be happy. I just want the women in my life to be happy."
Corrine blushed. Stephen genuinely was a good man, and they were hard to find. As far as fathers went, Violet was lucky.
"I guess the hardest part, in the end, besides the pain," Stephen finished, "is that I don't know what I want, or if I deserve to be happy. I don't even know that I believe in romance anymore. What if something happens again? Is it even worth it at this point, you know?"
"It's always worth it," Corrine said, "I felt the same way after the girl I liked left me. I just thought 'well, what's the use in putting in effort if it won't ultimately be reciprocated', but...it is worth it. Nat would tell you the same thing. Opening yourself to people, the way I've opened myself to her, Violet, Ashley...it does improve your life. The only thing you can do after a loss like that is just keep going, cause unfortunately, the alternative is frowned upon."
Stephen laughed, which made Corrine laugh. He hadn't really ever spoken to her much until now, but he could see what Natasha liked about her, why she'd become so attached, and frankly, he could even see what Ashley found attractive. Stephen turned and hugged her, taking her by surprise, and whispering 'thank you'. Corrine hugged him back and then offered to help him pack. They never did find his other boot though.
***
"I was honestly kinda livid at first," Nat said.
She and Sharla had moved from the kitchen to the living room, both sitting on the couch, sipping wine and eating salmon, cheese and crackers, a snack Sharla herself had put together for them.
"I don't blame you, it was a weird decision, but it turned out to be the best," Sharla replied, licking the wine from her lips, "so what do you think you'll do now?"
"Honestly, no idea. Show will be off air for a while after this week, and honestly...I might just go on vacation. I can't remember the last vacation I took, and before you add something snarky, no, the livestream didn't count. That was an unexpected brief hiatus. I want a full on vacation with pedicures and manicures and the whole spa treatment and nice new restaurants."
"I wouldn't blame you if you did," Sharla said, shrugging, "I mean, you work yourself to death, you deserve a break. You gonna go by yourself or?"
"Of course not, I'll take Violet, and hell, if her father lets me, we'll take Courtney too. Violet would be thrilled at that," Nat said.
A moment passed as Nat poured herself more wine while Sharla ate a snack. After a bit of chewing and swallowing, following it up with wine, Sharla cleared her throat and smirked.
"And what about Jay?" she asked.
"What about Jay?" Nat echoed.
"You gonna take him too?"
"Yeah, I'll stuff him in a pet carrier and drag him along," Nat said, half joking, "he's not my dog, he's allowed to come or stay as he pleases. I mean, I'll ask him, but I won't force him."
"What's going on between you two now? Cause you guys hired a few more cameramen, and if he's not the one doing that anymore, if he's just in charge of the financial end of things, where does that leave you guys?"
"What, you think his job as my cinematographer was a direct relation to my attraction to him?'
"First of all, I don't think calling what he does cinematography is fair," Sharla said, the both of them laughing as she added, "but no, I just mean...if he no longer has to be directly involved on a daily or weekly basis, depending on the upload schedule, then, ya know, where does that leave things? You have to admit having constant access to him was probably something helped spur those feelings, right?"
"Kind of, but not really," Nat replied, shrugging, "I mean...he left the station with me. He was supportive the entire time. Of every decision, actually. I mean, sure, proximity helps, you're not wrong, and I'd be stupid to deny it, but it wasn't the reason. The reason is because he's a good man and he's good to my daughter and I love him."
She suddenly realized that, in all the time they'd been together, she couldn't remember ever actually saying that to him. She could't recall telling Jay she loved him, truly and deeply. She might've said it in passing, or in reciprocation, but never with the force or feeling that left her mouth like it just did now. Suddenly she felt like she and Jay had to have a talk.
***
"Why are you scared?" Noreen asked.
Violet had gone to Noreen's to ask for advice, and they were currently sitting in Noreen's bedroom, Noreen cross legged on the bed while Violet lay upside down on it on her back. Violet shrugged in response, and Noreen laughed. Such a typical teenager response.
"It's my dad," Violet said, "um, my mom, uh, was really cool about everything, you know? But my dad...Aunt Ashley just left him for a woman, and what if, um, what if he, uh, like..."
"Hates you for it too? Is that what you're afraid of? You think he'll think 'god, even my own daughter is queer' and be disappointed?" Noreen asked and Violet nodded; Noreen said and laid on her back as well beside Violet as she added, "well, it's always a possibility, but I don't think that would happen. Stephen seems nice, and from what you've told me, he loves you so much."
Violet nodded, but didn't respond. She ran through the last few weeks in her head. Courtney's surgery, recovering, their talk in the hospital, and that kiss...god that kiss. Violet never once thought she'd be kissing anyone, let alone another girl. Especially not her only friend. But everytime she reminded herself of it, she felt so happy inside, and she couldn't help but start to smile. She wanted to share her joy with her father, but she was scared. She'd been scared of telling her mother too, but in the end, she knew her mother would accept her no matter what. After all, Nat had let a lesbian move in with them without questioning a thing. Stephen, on the other hand...well, he'd done the same, but unintentionally.
"Dads are weird," Noreen said, continuing, "moms are always almost supportive, even if they start out unsupportive they eventually come back around. But dads can be...fickle. But honestly, your dad...I'd be surprised if he was anything but supportive and understanding as well."
Violet knew, logically, that this was the case. But that didn't make her less scared. She started to chew on her hair and wondered when she should tell him...
"And," Noreen added, "you also don't have to say anything ever. Nobody is required to come out. You can just be yourself and he can just be forced to grapple with it as he learns about it. That's also an option. You and Courtney aren't...you know?"
"Ew," Violet said, scowling, "I don't ever wanna do that with anyone."
Noreen laughed and nodded.
"Okay, gotcha," Noreen said, "just making sure. You're my niece, I want you to be safe, that's all. But, if you're attaching the asexual label to yourself, then that's good to know as well. Whatever you decide, kiddo, you know I'll support you. I'm just happy you've learned some things about yourself."
"Me too," Violet said, "especially since learning is really hard for me!"
They both started laughing, and it felt good. It felt to feel good, to be able to joke about herself. Violet finally felt like she had a full family again, and she honestly couldn't be happier.
***
Sitting in the kitchen at opposite ends of the table, each eating from their own takeout containers, Corrine didn't know how to bring up what had happened today. As she scooped more rice with her folk, watching Ashley pick up her soup and sip it carefully, she knew she should, but how? The room was barely lit, the dimmer switched turned down to create a comforting and romantic ambiance, and Corrine certainly felt relaxed outside of this one thing. After she ate a potsticker, she then cleared her throat and tossed her hair a little.
"Stephen came by today," she said flatly, causing Ashley to almost choke on soup before setting the container down.
"Run that by me again?" she asked.
"Stephen came by today," Corrine repeated, "but he just came to get some things, clothes mostly. But we did sit and talk, mostly about you. Well, actually, kinda about your view of me, now that I think about it. He doesn't understand how you can be with someone like me. Why you would choose me, of all people, to love. And the thing is...I don't get it either, but I've also stopped questioning it."
Ashley smiled and posted an elbow up on the table, resting her chin in her hand.
"Is that so?" she asked softly.
"Mhm," Corrine said, nodding, "because the fact of the matter is, you do. You did choose me and you do love me and who am I to doubt what you say. You aren't a liar. Why would you lie about that, especially now with the fallout that's come of it? So frankly, I don't really care anymore, and it feels good to just feel stable, but Stephen...I don't know if Stephen will ever feel stable again honestly, and that's worrying."
Ashley nodded, frowning a bit.
"Yeah," she said quietly, "yeah I know. And I feel bad about him getting caught in the unintentional crossfire of my discovery of myself, or rather my acceptance of it, but he's a blameless victim. And, for what it's worth, when I needed someone, he was there. I don't regret a minute we had together, outside of hurting my sister, of course. But he'll be okay. With Nat to guide him the way she does everyone, he'll be fine. He's a grown man, and he's not bad at recognizing or processing his emotions unlike other men it seems like. But you...you're right. There's no reason to doubt."
Corrine blushed and looked down at the food on the table to hide her embarrassment.
"It's funny," Corrine said, as Ashley got up and turned off the dimmer, turning the room to near pitch black as she walked towards Corrine; "I always thought I knew what being loved actually felt like, but it turned out that was nothing more than young infatuation. You actually love me. And now that I have you, I don't ever wanna be loved by anyone else."
"Good," Ashley whispered as she sat in Corrine's lap, "because nobody else is allowed to love you but me."
And with that she held her face and kissed her.
***
Nat was laying in bed by the time Jay got back to the house. Granted she was in bed proper, she was more laying atop it, still drinking wine, eating the snacks Sharla had made that early evening, and just browsing travel sites on her laptop. Jay entered the bedroom and pulled off his jacket, then turned to face the bed, tossing the jacket on it, standing and staring at her. Natasha smiled and shut the lid of her laptop.
"Hey, busy day?" she asked.
"I need to tell you something," Jay said, and Nat felt her stomach drop as he sat on the end of the bed; he cleared his throat and continued, "um...when we decided to leave the station, and I decided to be your cameraman, and we went on this joint venture together, of course picking up others along the way, I honestly didn't see it in any way that meant longevity, it terms of career. I want to do other things. Now that we have other camera men, I feel like I'm able to."
"You're absolutely not obligated to do just my show," Nat said, "you know that."
"I know, but that was kind of the thing holding us to eachother," Jay said, "and, I mean, now I'm handling the financial end of things, so I'll always be involved regardless, but I want there to be a less work related reason to be involved."
Nat sat up, now curious.
"Like what? What did you have in mind? Cause I was planning a vacation, and if you wanna come then I'd love-"
"I need more than a vacation, Natasha," Jay said, "I need more in general. But I'm afraid, having been through what you've been through, you'll never want more again."
"Who said I don't want more? I always want more! I'm gluttenous!" Nat said, making him laugh. Jay reached into the coat pocket and pulled out a small box. Nat didn't even need anything more, she knew exactly what this was, and she bit her lip in an attempt not to cry.
"If that's the case," Jay said, "then let me do this properly."
He climbed down from the bed and got on one knee.
"You are, without a doubt, the single most amazing woman I've ever met. You're ambitious and driven and creative, and such a genuinely good hearted person. When you wanted me to leave the station with you, I was shocked, but thrilled at such an opportunity. And ever since then, god...my life is not what I thought it would be, but I wouldn't want it to be anything else, wouldn't wanna it to be with anyone else. You're so beautiful, Natasha, and I'm so happy to have spent these last few years with you, so maybe we can spend even more years together, if you'll marry me."
Jay opened the lid of the little box, and Natasha didn't even respond with anything other than a nod and started crying. She leaned down and hugged him, making him laugh. After the hug, she pulled away and he slid the ring on her finger, then kissed her. Of all the things she expected to find during her career - creative fulfillment, success, financial independency - the one thing she didn't expect was love, especially not after how Stephen had left.
And again...she sort of owed this to Sharla. Sharla was the one who had mentioned how cute Jay was, and how right they seemed together. Natasha really was right when she'd called her her best friend.