Natasha had never been running in her entire life. Standing in the aisle containing workout clothes, she couldn't believe she was even going to give it an attempt, but Sharla wanted to start a routine with her, and who was she to argue with doing things with the woman who she called her best friend? After all, now that the show was on its regularly scheduled hiatus, Nat didn't want to just sit around like she usually did, she wanted to be more active, and what better way to do that than going for a run?
"Why is every single workout set black?" Nat asked, sipping her iced coffee.
"Cause it's harder for creepy guys to see you sweat," Sharla said, and Nat nodded.
"Fair," she replied, "well, I guess I'll just pick one and roll with it. I'm certainly not interested in the fashion sense of workout clothes."
Nat grabbed a set from the rack and turned, walking towards the checkout with Sharla. As they stepped into line, Nat couldn't help but smile to herself. She wanted to tell everyone about Jay, about the sudden engagement, but she wasn't ready to break the news to anyone just yet. After all, when your entire life is on display for everyone, sometimes you want to just keep some things to yourself, even if just briefly.
"When works best for you?" Sharla asked, looking at her phone, "I mean, ya know, for running? I prefer to go in the mornings, but really any time is fine. Not like I don't have a flexible schedule."
"Mornings are fine, honestly, would probably do me well to get up earlier than I have been," Nat said. They reached the cashier and paid, then headed out to the parking lot. As they climbed into Nat's car and she started it up, Sharla ran a hand up to her own chest and grimaced. Nat glanced over and raised an eyebrow, asking "you okay?"
"Heartburn," Sharla said, "think it's because of these new supplements I've been taking. I've got to try things out before I feel comfortable recommending them to people, you know?"
"Certainly," Nat said, "in that case, since you already have heartburn, let's go eat fast food."
Sharla laughed and agreed, so they drove to the unhealthiest burger place Nat knew of. She'd rarely if ever had female friends, and it was nice. Between Corrine, Sharla and Misty, she finally felt like she belonged to what other women often referred to as 'the sisterhood'. She'd spent so much of her life either alone or in the company of men, that it was a welcome change to do things with other women for once, and she wouldn't give that up for the world.
***
Corrine was making bacon.
It was one of the few things she really liked to eat, and probably not a great thing considering how bad cured meats are for you, but she didn't care. She just really liked bacon. Standing over the stove, frying it in the pan, she yawned and tried to think about what else she might do today, her first day off in a while, with the show now on hiatus once more. Ashley came into the kitchen, fully dressed except for her shoes, and pulled out a kitchen chair, seating herself on it before pulling her socks on her feet and slipping them into her shoes.
"I have a lot of work to do today," Ashley said, "I'm gonna be in an out of meetings all day, are you going to be okay being by yourself?"
"Oh, gosh, how will I handle that, I've never been alone ever in my life, I'm simply not accustomed to it, I'm not sure how I'll manage," Corrine said flatly, making Ashley laugh. Ashley stood back up, pulled on her suit jacket and walked up behind Corrine, kissing her on the back of the head before leaving. Corrine heard the front door shut and felt a sense of ease wash over her. She loved being with Ashley, but sometimes she reveled in her personal space. Corrine gathered her bacon and took it into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch. She didn't have anything planned for the day and, frankly, that kind of suited her for the time being. After everything that had gone down this year - between work and her interpersonal relationships - she could stand to use a little break.
After a few pieces of bacon, there was a knock on the front door, and Corrine looked towards it, confused. Stephen again? No, that would be too soon, what could he possibly need right now. Maybe Ashley forgot her house keys. Corrine wiped her hands on her pants and stood up, walking to the door and opening it, only to nearly choke on the bacon she'd been chewing. Standing on the porch was a woman, tall and lithe, in a button down long sleeved shirt and a pencil skirt wth long, shiny light brown hair.
"How did you even know where-"
"Your name is in the credits," Mary said, "it isn't hard to look up personal information of people, so I went to Simple's house and asked where you were these days. She directed me here. Don't think she knew who I was, otherwise she probably wouldn't have. Can I come in?"
Mary. Fucking Mary. She'd given Corrine the glass turtle, and she'd given her abandonment issues. What could she possibly want to give her now?
***
Courtney was standing in her bedroom, admiring her outfit in the mirror while Violet sat on the bed and watched. Courtney sighed as she ran her hands down the clothes, smoothing out whatever wrinkles there were, before exhaling and shaking her head.
"It's weird," Courtney said, "somehow I feel less...real...since the surgery. Somehow beforehand I felt more authentic to myself, and now I have a hard time seeing my wardrobe as anything other than dressup."
"That is weird," Violet said, "why do you, uh, think that is?"
"I don't know, and I wish I did, cause it's bothering me," Courtney said, "did you get your applications for college? Do you have any preferences for where you go?"
"I did," Violet said, "but um, but I, uh, I don't, ya know...I don't know. I might not go. I don't know that I'm ready."
"What are you talking about?" Courtney asked, turning to face her now, "...you mean mentally? You know there's colleges that have courses that pander - no, that's not the right word - um...that are designed specifically for students who need extra help, right? Plus you'll have your mom, and me."
"What if you don't stay close?" Violet asked meekly, and Courtney walked to the bed and sat down beside her.
"...yeah, that would've been something to worry about, but I don't want to go far away. I don't wanna leave my dad alone, and I don't wanna leave you either," Courtney said, putting one hand on her own knee, the other crossing the blanket and holding onto Violet's, adding, "change is scary enough, believe me I know, and so I'd prefer to make changes in small doses. I'm already going to college, why also go far away to do it?"
Violet nodded. Truth be told, she'd never really expected to go to college, and she was scared of the idea. What if she failed? She'd certainly fail socially, that was obvious even to her, but what if she failed academically? In all honesty, she'd rarely done well at high school, even with the help she'd received for her mental disabilities. That not only made her sad about the state of her faculties (mental faculties, not school faculties, although nothing much good could be said about them either to be fair) but also hyper aware that this trend could likely continue for the rest of her life in every aspect.
"What if we go to the same school?" Courtney asked and Violet turned her head and looked at her; Courtney smiled and continued, pushing her hair from her face, "like, what if we pick the same place and go together, and that way you won't be alone and you'll have extra help? Would that make you feel more comfortable?"
Violet nodded slowly, then sighed.
"But, um, I don't want you to, you know, like, uh...like, um, give up a good education just for me," Violet said and Courtney giggled and leaned in, kissing her on the cheek. Violet blushed and leaned against Courtney, who held her gently and stroked her hair.
"You make me feel accepted," Courtney said quietly, "I'll make you feel accepted. It's what we do."
It was what they did, she wasn't wrong, and Violet was acutely aware of this fact. After all, it had initially been the basis for their entire friendship. Now that that had blossomed into something romantic, she couldn't help but feel so lucky to have someone so supportive around her from all sides. Her mother, Courtney, even her father to the extent that he could be. Noreen and Corrine had both been very helpful in giving her a chance to discuss and explore herself. She was a very lucky young lady. but she was especially thankful for Courtney. Courtney, out of them all, truly understood what it was like to be somewhat of a social pariah in a way that even just general queer people might not, and Violet liked that they shared that bond. Sad they had to, but glad they had eachother to do so with.
"...I love you," Violet said, taking Courtney by surprise. She'd rarely if ever heard her say it to anyone outside of or perhaps even to her own mother.
"I love you too," Courtney said, kissing the side of her head.
Adolescence is hell, but if you've got at least one person who understands that by your side, it can be less hellish.
***
Nat stood in front of her bedroom mirror admiring herself in her new workout clothes; tight black shorts and a black sports bra, the two both with white trim. Sure, it didn't leave much to the imagination and, honestly, Natasha kind of hated being that objectified, but this is what was the norm for work out clothes, and who was she to argue. Besides, if they went for morning runs, who would really see them anyway. Sharla had mentioned she preferred running in rather secluded areas anyway, so Nat figured nobody would really stare because nobody would really be around to do so. The bedroom door opened and Jay entered, drinking a soda from a gas station cup.
"Hey, wow, is this just an everyday outfit or?" he asked.
"It could be, depending on what kind of workout you're interested in doing," Nat said, approaching him and kissing his cheek, making him blush; she laughed and added, "it's actually for runs that Sharla wants me to go on with her. She's trying to get me in better shape."
"You're already in the best shape, you're Natasha shaped," Jay said and Nat giggled.
"God, you're such a dweeb," she said. Ever since the engagement, she and Jay had been hopelessly flirtatious like two teenagers, and honestly, she was loving it. It'd been such a long time since she'd felt this way. She walked back to the mirror and started to change back into her sweater and jeans, as Jay stood there sipping on his straw. After she was done, she turned to face him again, pulling her hair up into a bun, and asked, "what?"
"You really wanna do this, right? You're not just telling me you want to because I asked and you're afraid of turning me down?" Jay asked, and Nat scoffed.
"Like I'd ever be afraid of rejecting someone," she said, smirking, "but no, of course not, why...where is this coming from?"
"I was engaged once before," Jay said, "well, kinda, for like...a week. This girl I dated all throughout highschool. Really in hindsight kinda stupid of me to assume that my first real love would be the one I'd have forever, those do happen albeit rarely, so I was just being naive I guess. I just really wanted to believe it would happen. After about a week, maybe week and a half, while I was still on cloud 9, she told me she was actually just scared to say no and that she felt we were too young, and ya know, she wasn't wrong, really. I appreciate her honesty, too. But god if it didn't leave a bad impression on me for my chances at trustworthy romance."
"Well," Nat said, approaching him again and putting her hands on his chest, "lucky for you, or not, I don't know what you're into, I'm not a high school girl. I'm a fully grown and mature woman?"
Jay raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed.
"Alright, well, maybe not mature, but fully grown anyway," she said, continuing, "and yes, of course I am saying yes because I want to. You know me, man, when have I ever said yes to being pressured? I left an entire station cause of that, remember? So yes, Jay, I want this, and more, with you. And not because you asked me, but because I wanted it regardless."
Jay blushed again and nodded, hugging her tightly to his chest. Honestly, he spent so much time at this house as it was, it already felt like home. She felt like home. Violet felt like his daughter. He didn't want any other family, he wanted this family or nothing else, and he was so happy to be given the chance to have that. He was determined to work as hard as he could to prove he was worth it. As he breathed in her natural scent, he couldn't help but remember when they'd first met. How she had given him the chance to prove himself, artistically, to shooting her show and how immediately beautiful she'd seemed to him, and not just physically, but as a whole person.
"This is nice," Nat whispered, and he nodded; she added, "I like this. Just this. Just being here in your arms."
"Well, you never have to be anywhere else," Jay said and Nat patted him on the back.
"That's where you're wrong, I really need to use the bathroom," she said, laughing, him laughing along with her as she got away from him and headed into the hall bathroom.
***
"You still have it," Mary said, admiring the Glass Turtle on the curio shelf in the living room.
"Of course I do, why would I get rid of it?" Corrine asked.
"I don't know. Sometimes when people break up they get rid of anything their ex gave them or that reminds them of their ex," Mary said, shrugging.
"Well, I think it should be noted first off that we didn't break up, you flat out abandoned me, and there's a big difference there when there's no closure whatsoever. I feel more like a widow than an ex," Corrine said, crossing her legs as she sat in the armchair, watching, "and secondly, it meant a lot to me then, and I don't want to lose that feeling, that memory, so."
Mary turned and walked around the couch, seating herself. Corrine furrowed her brow and shook her head, confused.
"What are you even doing here?" she asked.
"I'm here cause I graduated and wanted to come back," Mary said, "pretty simple. But I also wanted to find you because, well, my mother really screwed things up didn't she? I didn't want to stop talking to you, being with you, but she wouldn't accept us, and I knew I'd be homeless and out of school if I didn't listen to her."
"I know the feeling," Corrine said, sighing.
"I wanted to apologize," Mary said, "maybe see if we could pick up where we left off."
"That...that would've been nice, but...I'm happy now," Corrine said, thinking of Ashley, "I've been through a lot this year, I stole a guys wife."
"Nice," Mary said, the both of them laughing.
"And to be honest," Corrine said, "I've actually never felt more secure or certain in my identity than I do now, and a lot of that is because of her. You leaving made me question my self worth, and even if it wasn't intentional, even if it wasn't your decision or whatever, it still messed me up pretty bad. I don't know that I can so easily forgive that."
Mary nodded, completely understanding. Corrine sighed. All she'd wanted for so long now was for Mary to come back, to come back and have this exact moment as they were having it right now, and now that it was happening...goodnss, it made her so nervous. The fantasy was gone though. Ashley had outright replaced whatever feelings Corrine had ever had for Mary in a romantic sense. Sure, she'd always value the time they had together, but it would never be the same kind of feeling.
"You know," Corrine said, chewing her hair anxiously, "I was so upset. I was devastated. You accepted me, you taught me it was okay to be myself, you helped me see how great life could be if I just fully embraced it all, and then you left, and that taught me more of a lesson than all the other things did, and ever since then I kept having this...this daydream that one day you'd come back, like a white knight, and you'd rescue me from a life of mediocrity and sadness, but...someone beat you to it."
Mary smiled.
"Well," she said, "I'm glad you're happy. More than anything I just...I felt the need to say sorry. Especially since it wasn't even my fault, and I hate being blamed for things I didn't actually have a hand in, decision wise."
"I understand that, and I appreciate it," Corrine said.
"I should get going," Mary said, standing up, "...maybe we can have lunch sometime? Catch up on things?"
Corrine nodded, and Mary smiled again, then said goodbye and let herself out. As Corrine watched her go, all she could think about was how nice it was to have that closure. And how she wanted more. The daydream was dormant, not dead. Corrine slumped in the chair.
"fuck," she whispered.
***
"Hurry up slowpoke!" Sharla shouted, laughing as she waited, catching her breath, squirting her water bottle into her mouth as Nat caught up at the top of the hill. They were in a fairly nice neighborhood, one with a lot of hills which was good for running, and Nat simply wasn't used to doing this much physical work. She stopped and bent over, hands posted on her knees, trying to catch her breath as well as Sharla laughed at her and asked, "you doing okay?"
"Alright, just cause you're The Flash doesn't mean everyone is," Natasha said, making Sharla laugh harder; Nat wiped her forehead on her arm and said, "christ, how do you manage this so regularly?"
"Well the thing about exercise that people don't seem to understand - and this obviously comes with a caveat for people with chronic physical pain or something - is that the more you do it the easier it becomes, because the more your body becomes accustomed to it, really. So do it with me for a few months and you'll see that-"
"MONTHS?" Nat asked, sounding shocked, causing Sharla to double over in laughter as Nat added, "are you trying to kill me??"
Sharla collected herself as he watch beeped and she glanced at it. She had a yoga appointment to get to soon, so they needed to wrap this run up, but she wasn't about to force Nat, who had now perched herself on a nearby bench. Sharla stood in front of the bench, one hand on her hip.
"No, you're right," Nat said, "it is good to be in good shape, and I should be in shape, otherwise, well, I won't be and that isn't healthy."
"Gee, what insight," Sharla said, grinning as Nat flipped her off, and the two continued laughing; Sharla took another squirt, then asked, "you about ready to finish up?"
"Just...just gimme a minute, man," Nat said.
"Take your time."
Nat leaned her head back on the bench and smiled. She bit her lip, and figured, ya know what, this was her best friend, so screw the need for privacy.
"Jay asked me to marry him," she said, "and I know, it...it kinda came out of the blue, but, god I'm so happy. I didn't even hesitate to answer. I think, now, I could handle family and work at the same time. I feel like, ya know, when Stephen and I tried, not only were we very young, and Violet was kind of...unexpected, but also we just didn't understand work life balance, you know? Anyway, now that I'm older, I feel like I get it, I feel like I am more capable of making the effort and sticking with it, like doing this with you. He got down on one knee and everything, gave me a whole little prepared speech, it was SO cute, Sharla."
No response.
"Sharla?" Nat asked, leaning back up and looking at Sharla, who was standing there, one hand back on her chest, her breathing shallow. Nat sat further up and grimaced, asking once more, "Sharla? You okay?"
"I can't," Sharla said, "...I can't feel my arm. Nat, I can't feel my arm."
Nat and Sharla locked eyes and Sharla dropped to her knees, then fell face first into the grass.
"Sharla?!" Nat shouted, now jumping up from the bench and immediately crawling over to her; she shook her to no avail, then looked up at the people taking their trash out or walking their dogs and shouted, "Help! Call for help! Sharla? Sharla! Can you hear me?!"
Nat rolled Sharla onto her back and patted her face, but Sharla just kept staring straight ahead.
"Sharla?!"
"Why is every single workout set black?" Nat asked, sipping her iced coffee.
"Cause it's harder for creepy guys to see you sweat," Sharla said, and Nat nodded.
"Fair," she replied, "well, I guess I'll just pick one and roll with it. I'm certainly not interested in the fashion sense of workout clothes."
Nat grabbed a set from the rack and turned, walking towards the checkout with Sharla. As they stepped into line, Nat couldn't help but smile to herself. She wanted to tell everyone about Jay, about the sudden engagement, but she wasn't ready to break the news to anyone just yet. After all, when your entire life is on display for everyone, sometimes you want to just keep some things to yourself, even if just briefly.
"When works best for you?" Sharla asked, looking at her phone, "I mean, ya know, for running? I prefer to go in the mornings, but really any time is fine. Not like I don't have a flexible schedule."
"Mornings are fine, honestly, would probably do me well to get up earlier than I have been," Nat said. They reached the cashier and paid, then headed out to the parking lot. As they climbed into Nat's car and she started it up, Sharla ran a hand up to her own chest and grimaced. Nat glanced over and raised an eyebrow, asking "you okay?"
"Heartburn," Sharla said, "think it's because of these new supplements I've been taking. I've got to try things out before I feel comfortable recommending them to people, you know?"
"Certainly," Nat said, "in that case, since you already have heartburn, let's go eat fast food."
Sharla laughed and agreed, so they drove to the unhealthiest burger place Nat knew of. She'd rarely if ever had female friends, and it was nice. Between Corrine, Sharla and Misty, she finally felt like she belonged to what other women often referred to as 'the sisterhood'. She'd spent so much of her life either alone or in the company of men, that it was a welcome change to do things with other women for once, and she wouldn't give that up for the world.
***
Corrine was making bacon.
It was one of the few things she really liked to eat, and probably not a great thing considering how bad cured meats are for you, but she didn't care. She just really liked bacon. Standing over the stove, frying it in the pan, she yawned and tried to think about what else she might do today, her first day off in a while, with the show now on hiatus once more. Ashley came into the kitchen, fully dressed except for her shoes, and pulled out a kitchen chair, seating herself on it before pulling her socks on her feet and slipping them into her shoes.
"I have a lot of work to do today," Ashley said, "I'm gonna be in an out of meetings all day, are you going to be okay being by yourself?"
"Oh, gosh, how will I handle that, I've never been alone ever in my life, I'm simply not accustomed to it, I'm not sure how I'll manage," Corrine said flatly, making Ashley laugh. Ashley stood back up, pulled on her suit jacket and walked up behind Corrine, kissing her on the back of the head before leaving. Corrine heard the front door shut and felt a sense of ease wash over her. She loved being with Ashley, but sometimes she reveled in her personal space. Corrine gathered her bacon and took it into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch. She didn't have anything planned for the day and, frankly, that kind of suited her for the time being. After everything that had gone down this year - between work and her interpersonal relationships - she could stand to use a little break.
After a few pieces of bacon, there was a knock on the front door, and Corrine looked towards it, confused. Stephen again? No, that would be too soon, what could he possibly need right now. Maybe Ashley forgot her house keys. Corrine wiped her hands on her pants and stood up, walking to the door and opening it, only to nearly choke on the bacon she'd been chewing. Standing on the porch was a woman, tall and lithe, in a button down long sleeved shirt and a pencil skirt wth long, shiny light brown hair.
"How did you even know where-"
"Your name is in the credits," Mary said, "it isn't hard to look up personal information of people, so I went to Simple's house and asked where you were these days. She directed me here. Don't think she knew who I was, otherwise she probably wouldn't have. Can I come in?"
Mary. Fucking Mary. She'd given Corrine the glass turtle, and she'd given her abandonment issues. What could she possibly want to give her now?
***
Courtney was standing in her bedroom, admiring her outfit in the mirror while Violet sat on the bed and watched. Courtney sighed as she ran her hands down the clothes, smoothing out whatever wrinkles there were, before exhaling and shaking her head.
"It's weird," Courtney said, "somehow I feel less...real...since the surgery. Somehow beforehand I felt more authentic to myself, and now I have a hard time seeing my wardrobe as anything other than dressup."
"That is weird," Violet said, "why do you, uh, think that is?"
"I don't know, and I wish I did, cause it's bothering me," Courtney said, "did you get your applications for college? Do you have any preferences for where you go?"
"I did," Violet said, "but um, but I, uh, I don't, ya know...I don't know. I might not go. I don't know that I'm ready."
"What are you talking about?" Courtney asked, turning to face her now, "...you mean mentally? You know there's colleges that have courses that pander - no, that's not the right word - um...that are designed specifically for students who need extra help, right? Plus you'll have your mom, and me."
"What if you don't stay close?" Violet asked meekly, and Courtney walked to the bed and sat down beside her.
"...yeah, that would've been something to worry about, but I don't want to go far away. I don't wanna leave my dad alone, and I don't wanna leave you either," Courtney said, putting one hand on her own knee, the other crossing the blanket and holding onto Violet's, adding, "change is scary enough, believe me I know, and so I'd prefer to make changes in small doses. I'm already going to college, why also go far away to do it?"
Violet nodded. Truth be told, she'd never really expected to go to college, and she was scared of the idea. What if she failed? She'd certainly fail socially, that was obvious even to her, but what if she failed academically? In all honesty, she'd rarely done well at high school, even with the help she'd received for her mental disabilities. That not only made her sad about the state of her faculties (mental faculties, not school faculties, although nothing much good could be said about them either to be fair) but also hyper aware that this trend could likely continue for the rest of her life in every aspect.
"What if we go to the same school?" Courtney asked and Violet turned her head and looked at her; Courtney smiled and continued, pushing her hair from her face, "like, what if we pick the same place and go together, and that way you won't be alone and you'll have extra help? Would that make you feel more comfortable?"
Violet nodded slowly, then sighed.
"But, um, I don't want you to, you know, like, uh...like, um, give up a good education just for me," Violet said and Courtney giggled and leaned in, kissing her on the cheek. Violet blushed and leaned against Courtney, who held her gently and stroked her hair.
"You make me feel accepted," Courtney said quietly, "I'll make you feel accepted. It's what we do."
It was what they did, she wasn't wrong, and Violet was acutely aware of this fact. After all, it had initially been the basis for their entire friendship. Now that that had blossomed into something romantic, she couldn't help but feel so lucky to have someone so supportive around her from all sides. Her mother, Courtney, even her father to the extent that he could be. Noreen and Corrine had both been very helpful in giving her a chance to discuss and explore herself. She was a very lucky young lady. but she was especially thankful for Courtney. Courtney, out of them all, truly understood what it was like to be somewhat of a social pariah in a way that even just general queer people might not, and Violet liked that they shared that bond. Sad they had to, but glad they had eachother to do so with.
"...I love you," Violet said, taking Courtney by surprise. She'd rarely if ever heard her say it to anyone outside of or perhaps even to her own mother.
"I love you too," Courtney said, kissing the side of her head.
Adolescence is hell, but if you've got at least one person who understands that by your side, it can be less hellish.
***
Nat stood in front of her bedroom mirror admiring herself in her new workout clothes; tight black shorts and a black sports bra, the two both with white trim. Sure, it didn't leave much to the imagination and, honestly, Natasha kind of hated being that objectified, but this is what was the norm for work out clothes, and who was she to argue. Besides, if they went for morning runs, who would really see them anyway. Sharla had mentioned she preferred running in rather secluded areas anyway, so Nat figured nobody would really stare because nobody would really be around to do so. The bedroom door opened and Jay entered, drinking a soda from a gas station cup.
"Hey, wow, is this just an everyday outfit or?" he asked.
"It could be, depending on what kind of workout you're interested in doing," Nat said, approaching him and kissing his cheek, making him blush; she laughed and added, "it's actually for runs that Sharla wants me to go on with her. She's trying to get me in better shape."
"You're already in the best shape, you're Natasha shaped," Jay said and Nat giggled.
"God, you're such a dweeb," she said. Ever since the engagement, she and Jay had been hopelessly flirtatious like two teenagers, and honestly, she was loving it. It'd been such a long time since she'd felt this way. She walked back to the mirror and started to change back into her sweater and jeans, as Jay stood there sipping on his straw. After she was done, she turned to face him again, pulling her hair up into a bun, and asked, "what?"
"You really wanna do this, right? You're not just telling me you want to because I asked and you're afraid of turning me down?" Jay asked, and Nat scoffed.
"Like I'd ever be afraid of rejecting someone," she said, smirking, "but no, of course not, why...where is this coming from?"
"I was engaged once before," Jay said, "well, kinda, for like...a week. This girl I dated all throughout highschool. Really in hindsight kinda stupid of me to assume that my first real love would be the one I'd have forever, those do happen albeit rarely, so I was just being naive I guess. I just really wanted to believe it would happen. After about a week, maybe week and a half, while I was still on cloud 9, she told me she was actually just scared to say no and that she felt we were too young, and ya know, she wasn't wrong, really. I appreciate her honesty, too. But god if it didn't leave a bad impression on me for my chances at trustworthy romance."
"Well," Nat said, approaching him again and putting her hands on his chest, "lucky for you, or not, I don't know what you're into, I'm not a high school girl. I'm a fully grown and mature woman?"
Jay raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed.
"Alright, well, maybe not mature, but fully grown anyway," she said, continuing, "and yes, of course I am saying yes because I want to. You know me, man, when have I ever said yes to being pressured? I left an entire station cause of that, remember? So yes, Jay, I want this, and more, with you. And not because you asked me, but because I wanted it regardless."
Jay blushed again and nodded, hugging her tightly to his chest. Honestly, he spent so much time at this house as it was, it already felt like home. She felt like home. Violet felt like his daughter. He didn't want any other family, he wanted this family or nothing else, and he was so happy to be given the chance to have that. He was determined to work as hard as he could to prove he was worth it. As he breathed in her natural scent, he couldn't help but remember when they'd first met. How she had given him the chance to prove himself, artistically, to shooting her show and how immediately beautiful she'd seemed to him, and not just physically, but as a whole person.
"This is nice," Nat whispered, and he nodded; she added, "I like this. Just this. Just being here in your arms."
"Well, you never have to be anywhere else," Jay said and Nat patted him on the back.
"That's where you're wrong, I really need to use the bathroom," she said, laughing, him laughing along with her as she got away from him and headed into the hall bathroom.
***
"You still have it," Mary said, admiring the Glass Turtle on the curio shelf in the living room.
"Of course I do, why would I get rid of it?" Corrine asked.
"I don't know. Sometimes when people break up they get rid of anything their ex gave them or that reminds them of their ex," Mary said, shrugging.
"Well, I think it should be noted first off that we didn't break up, you flat out abandoned me, and there's a big difference there when there's no closure whatsoever. I feel more like a widow than an ex," Corrine said, crossing her legs as she sat in the armchair, watching, "and secondly, it meant a lot to me then, and I don't want to lose that feeling, that memory, so."
Mary turned and walked around the couch, seating herself. Corrine furrowed her brow and shook her head, confused.
"What are you even doing here?" she asked.
"I'm here cause I graduated and wanted to come back," Mary said, "pretty simple. But I also wanted to find you because, well, my mother really screwed things up didn't she? I didn't want to stop talking to you, being with you, but she wouldn't accept us, and I knew I'd be homeless and out of school if I didn't listen to her."
"I know the feeling," Corrine said, sighing.
"I wanted to apologize," Mary said, "maybe see if we could pick up where we left off."
"That...that would've been nice, but...I'm happy now," Corrine said, thinking of Ashley, "I've been through a lot this year, I stole a guys wife."
"Nice," Mary said, the both of them laughing.
"And to be honest," Corrine said, "I've actually never felt more secure or certain in my identity than I do now, and a lot of that is because of her. You leaving made me question my self worth, and even if it wasn't intentional, even if it wasn't your decision or whatever, it still messed me up pretty bad. I don't know that I can so easily forgive that."
Mary nodded, completely understanding. Corrine sighed. All she'd wanted for so long now was for Mary to come back, to come back and have this exact moment as they were having it right now, and now that it was happening...goodnss, it made her so nervous. The fantasy was gone though. Ashley had outright replaced whatever feelings Corrine had ever had for Mary in a romantic sense. Sure, she'd always value the time they had together, but it would never be the same kind of feeling.
"You know," Corrine said, chewing her hair anxiously, "I was so upset. I was devastated. You accepted me, you taught me it was okay to be myself, you helped me see how great life could be if I just fully embraced it all, and then you left, and that taught me more of a lesson than all the other things did, and ever since then I kept having this...this daydream that one day you'd come back, like a white knight, and you'd rescue me from a life of mediocrity and sadness, but...someone beat you to it."
Mary smiled.
"Well," she said, "I'm glad you're happy. More than anything I just...I felt the need to say sorry. Especially since it wasn't even my fault, and I hate being blamed for things I didn't actually have a hand in, decision wise."
"I understand that, and I appreciate it," Corrine said.
"I should get going," Mary said, standing up, "...maybe we can have lunch sometime? Catch up on things?"
Corrine nodded, and Mary smiled again, then said goodbye and let herself out. As Corrine watched her go, all she could think about was how nice it was to have that closure. And how she wanted more. The daydream was dormant, not dead. Corrine slumped in the chair.
"fuck," she whispered.
***
"Hurry up slowpoke!" Sharla shouted, laughing as she waited, catching her breath, squirting her water bottle into her mouth as Nat caught up at the top of the hill. They were in a fairly nice neighborhood, one with a lot of hills which was good for running, and Nat simply wasn't used to doing this much physical work. She stopped and bent over, hands posted on her knees, trying to catch her breath as well as Sharla laughed at her and asked, "you doing okay?"
"Alright, just cause you're The Flash doesn't mean everyone is," Natasha said, making Sharla laugh harder; Nat wiped her forehead on her arm and said, "christ, how do you manage this so regularly?"
"Well the thing about exercise that people don't seem to understand - and this obviously comes with a caveat for people with chronic physical pain or something - is that the more you do it the easier it becomes, because the more your body becomes accustomed to it, really. So do it with me for a few months and you'll see that-"
"MONTHS?" Nat asked, sounding shocked, causing Sharla to double over in laughter as Nat added, "are you trying to kill me??"
Sharla collected herself as he watch beeped and she glanced at it. She had a yoga appointment to get to soon, so they needed to wrap this run up, but she wasn't about to force Nat, who had now perched herself on a nearby bench. Sharla stood in front of the bench, one hand on her hip.
"No, you're right," Nat said, "it is good to be in good shape, and I should be in shape, otherwise, well, I won't be and that isn't healthy."
"Gee, what insight," Sharla said, grinning as Nat flipped her off, and the two continued laughing; Sharla took another squirt, then asked, "you about ready to finish up?"
"Just...just gimme a minute, man," Nat said.
"Take your time."
Nat leaned her head back on the bench and smiled. She bit her lip, and figured, ya know what, this was her best friend, so screw the need for privacy.
"Jay asked me to marry him," she said, "and I know, it...it kinda came out of the blue, but, god I'm so happy. I didn't even hesitate to answer. I think, now, I could handle family and work at the same time. I feel like, ya know, when Stephen and I tried, not only were we very young, and Violet was kind of...unexpected, but also we just didn't understand work life balance, you know? Anyway, now that I'm older, I feel like I get it, I feel like I am more capable of making the effort and sticking with it, like doing this with you. He got down on one knee and everything, gave me a whole little prepared speech, it was SO cute, Sharla."
No response.
"Sharla?" Nat asked, leaning back up and looking at Sharla, who was standing there, one hand back on her chest, her breathing shallow. Nat sat further up and grimaced, asking once more, "Sharla? You okay?"
"I can't," Sharla said, "...I can't feel my arm. Nat, I can't feel my arm."
Nat and Sharla locked eyes and Sharla dropped to her knees, then fell face first into the grass.
"Sharla?!" Nat shouted, now jumping up from the bench and immediately crawling over to her; she shook her to no avail, then looked up at the people taking their trash out or walking their dogs and shouted, "Help! Call for help! Sharla? Sharla! Can you hear me?!"
Nat rolled Sharla onto her back and patted her face, but Sharla just kept staring straight ahead.
"Sharla?!"