Helena stood in front of her bathroom mirror. She had showered, gotten dressed up in her best dress and was now fixing her hair and makeup. But, the weird thing was, it felt like muscle memory, a habit, but she knew it wasn't important. She knew that, if she chose not to do this, things would be just fine. And that made her smile. After she finished she checked her watch, and knew she was ready just in time, and, as predicted, there came a knock on the door. Helena smiled, gathered her coat and her purse, and headed to the front door, tugging it open, to find John standing there, well dressed, holding a bouquet in front of his face.

"Oh, wow, flowers brought me a person, how romantic," Helena said, causing John to chuckle as he pulled the bouquet away from his face and handed them to her.

"Well, flowers are a romantic, and let's be honest, everyone loves getting a person," John said, making Helena smirk as she took the bouquet and took them inside, placed them on the table and pulled a vase out from under the kitchen sink, starting to fill it with water. John walked in, watching the whole thing, hands in his pockets.

"Wow, you're really anal," John said.

"Shut up!" Helena said, laughing, "god, I can't help it if I'm a prepared person!"

John laughed as he leaned against the table and watched. Helena finished filling it with water, placed it on the kitchen table and popped the flowers into the vase, then wiped her hands off on a nearby hand towel. She stood there, staring at it, hands on her hips. John glanced between the vase and Helena, watching her face soften as she watched the flowers, almost as though she were expecting them to do something.

"You okay?" John asked softly.

"...nobody's ever given me flowers," Helena said.

"Really? Cause you seemed surprisingly prepared for the occasion, I just sorta figured it was something that happened quite a bit," John said, and Helena chuckled.

"No, I'm...I'm just..." Helena said, "uh, I've always hoped it would happen, so I've always been ready for it. I remember, back in high school, on Valentines Day, all the other girls in classes around me would have things delivered to them from their boyfriends or prospective love interests, and I just was, ya know, ignored. I've always wanted to be given flowers."

John's expression changed from that of mild amusement to intense sadness. Helena seemed so confident, so brazen and strong, and yet here she was, openly admiting that she actually had rarely if ever been romantically involved. Obviously she had been, to have had a child, but outside of that, it sounded as though she'd almost always been ignored when it came to romance. John had trouble seeing it. She was so smart, so driven and ambitious, and so very attractive, but it made sense that she would throw herself into her job if that was the case. Anything to distract ones self from not attaining the thing they truly want.

"Do you like them?" he asked, and she nodded slowly, trying not to cry, so as not to ruin her eye makeup.

"They're beautiful," she whispered and he walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. She closed her eyes and just let it happen as she reached out and gently touched the petals with her fingertips. Life, for them both, had been so very difficult. But it was great now. Financial success and love and friends. Helena was anal, sure. But that didn't mean she wasn't appreciative.

***

Lilian was standing in the kitchen making pancakes. Maddie had gone to school, Miranda was at the doctors, and so Lilian had the place to herself. She was currently mulling over her response options to Barbara Hawkins, but she hadn't figured out what to say in return just yet, or even when to do so. As she finished cooking, plating and preparing, a knock came at the door. Lilian rolled her eyes and walked over to it, pulling it open. Nothing else mattered the moment she did, because there stood her best friend.

"Hi there," Alexis said.

"...fucking 'hi there'?" Lilian asked, "you vanish for months at a time and 'fucking hi' there is the best I get?"

"What did you want me to do, pop out of a giant, wooden horse?" Alexis asked, and Lilian smiled a little as she stepped aside, allowing Alexis entrance before shutting the door behind her; Alexis turned around, once inside, and shoved her hands in her pockets, continuing, "sooo...how have you been?"

"I don't even know how to answer that," Lilian said, "I've been trying to track down information on the woman who died at the theme park I was at as a kid, but that's been difficult. Miranda's preparing for surgery. Maddie's been doing great. I've just been busy and stressed out."

"How's the court proceedings going?" Alexis asked.

"I mean, they're going, slowly. I'm supposed to go in and meet with a lawyer and the woman who gave me the info very soon, so that should be...terrifying," Lilian said, seating herself back down at the table and staring at her breakfast.

"Well, hopefully it goes smoothly. If you want moral support, I mean, I guess I don't know if I'm legally allowed to come with, considering I'm not, like, involved but, I'll go in with you if you'd like so you don't feel as alone or whatever and-"

"You just left, Alex," Lilian said, finally breaking, her voice cracking, the tears coming hard and fast, "you just...you just fuckin' left. You didn't even tell me you were going, you didn't tell anyone where you might be going, all of a sudden my best friend is just gone and I'm supposed to be able to pick up the pieces and be okay with it all. You left me."

Alexis swallowed, feeling her pulse quicken, her heart begin to race. She knew this might be an uncomfortable visit.

"Yeah, I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't really have much of a choice for what it's worth, uh, all things considered with what went down. I was worried I may be prosecuted, or something, and I just...I'm sorry, Lil, I'm really sorry, genuinely, I missed you so bad out there. I didn't want to leave, but I didn't know what might happen if I stayed."

Lilian poked at her pancakes with her fork, breathing harshly as she did.

"I understand," Lilian said quietly, "that's what really sucks, is I absolutely understand. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It might...it might take me a while before I can talk to you again the way we used to."

"I get that," Alexis said, pulling out a chair at the table and sitting down. So the two women sat in the silence of the kitchen, with nothing but the air of uncomfortablness between them, trying their best to figure out how to resuscitate a friendship that, for all intents and purposes, felt dead on arrival. Lilian had missed Alexis so badly, and yet, now that she was here in her kitchen, didnt' seem to have a single word to say to her. And Alexis, well, she never really knew what to say. In trying to save her sister, she'd hurt so many around her, and she began to fear that, unlike John, this might be one relationship she simply could've salvage.

Only time would tell.

***

"This place is beautiful," Helena said, "I never took you for much of a romantic gentleman."

"I'm deeply wounded by that," John remarked as he helped her take her coat off and placed it on the chair he'd pulled out for her. Helena smiled brightly and seated herself, while John walked around the table and seated himself across from her. The restaurant in question was nothing fancy, in terms of its culinary offerings, being instead a mere grill, but the atmosphere was right. Soft lighting, gentle jazz, and just an overall warmness of the place made Helena feel safe to let her otherwise constantly upheld emotional guard down a bit.

"It's been so long since I've been out on a date," Helena said.

"You're tellin' me," John replied, chuckling, "I can't even remember the last time."

"Really? That's surprising to me, considering what a handsome gentleman you are," Helena said, smirking, "Can't believe you don't just have women knocking down your door."

"Didn't say I don't, just that I not typically one to take any up on the offer," John said, as a waitress approached the table to take their orders. After ordering their respective meals, John and Helena then turned their attention back to one another as they awaited their drinks. John was drinking soda, but Helena opted for an alcoholic drink, which John didn't mind but he wasn't interested in partaking in himself, considering his past. As he sipped, he watched Helena look at the menu in front of her.

"These desserts look amazing," Helena said.

"You want some dessert? We'll get some dessert," John said, "what's to your fancy?"

"I'm not sure, but I'm generally a cake person, so maybe a nice slice of cake," Helena said, "perhaps Red Velvet, if they have it, that was..." she paused, her voice lowering to a weak whisper, "...that was always his favorite."

"You don't have to get that just because of its association," John replied, reaching across the table and taking one of her hands off the menu, gently squeezing and rubbing the back with his thumb; he added, "you are allowed to disown the things that someone liked even if you loved them if it hurts too much. There's bands I can't listen to, for example, because she loved them."

Helena put the menu down and exhaled slowly. This woman, usually so steady and composed, now seemed so fragile. She looked at John's face, and he smiled back at her, making her blush a little in response.

"I can't do that," she said quietly, "I can't...lose...other parts of him. I already lost him. I refuse to let anything more of his be taken from me. I would rather feel a small twinge of emotional grief if it means I get to eat something he loved."

John smiled, nodding.

"That makes sense," he said, "I support you either way."

"I gotta know," Helena said, "why me? It can't...it can't be because you actually like me, right? I mean, after all the aggravation I caused you, caused everyone? There has to be something more to your reasoning, surely."

"You're a smart businesswoman, a confident woman in general. You aren't afraid to stand up for your principles, your beliefs. I admire that. I like women who refuse to be told what to do, because it means they refute the perception the world has at large for their gender. I would say imagine it, but you don't have to, because you live it daily. Still, for the sake of context, imagine it...imagine being told every single day, by every single facet of society - including other women, which is especially wild - that you have inherently less worth and value based on certain notions. You'll never have the power men have. You'll never be paid the same men will. Once your looks fade you become less worthwhile. But you don't give a fuck, and frankly, that's hot as hell. I love women who don't give a fuck. That's partially why I adopted Alexis. Because she too didn't give a fuck. Women who didn't give a fuck are why women today have personhood."

Helena's expression slowly changed, a long, thin smile spreading across her lips, her eyes brimming with intense passion. She made the decision, then and there, to fuck this man that evening, even if he didn't know it.

"I suppose you're right," she said, shrugging.

"What's truly remarkable is how little you think of yourself, even in lieu of all you've accomplished, but I guess that's because that's what the world does, right? Not just in general, but to women especially. Your achievements aren't noteworthy because they're outright impressive, they're noteworthy because you're a woman and women aren't supposed to be impressive. Your gender dictates every single fucking thing about you and that can be taxing, wear down your self esteem. It may be fucked up to say, but...there is an upside to my daughter being perpetually stuck in arrested development, and that is that she will never lose the love she has for herself, or get trapped by the worlds disbelief in her, just because she's a girl. She was spared from that. I'm kind of thankful, because she, and every woman, deserves better."

Helena nodded, now listening intently. No longer was she thinking about sleeping with John, no, in seconds she'd switched gears entirely to being simply moved by his dedication to helping and protecting women, when all she'd really known her whole life was men who did the exact opposite.

"I don't want to put you on a pedestool," she said, "realize I only have worth now cause you, another man, has come forward and made me believe in myself, or some trite bullshit like that. But...it is nice to have someone think so highly of me, outside of myself of course."

John laughed loudly.

"There's that confidence!" he said, "that inflated ego we love to see!"

Helena laughed with him, and the two spent an overall excellent evening.

She had vanilla cake for dessert.

***

"Are you gonna respond?" Alexis asked, looking at Lilian's laptop screen.

"I want to, but I'm scared," Lilian said.

"You've come this far and now you're gonna chicken out?" Alexis asked, "come on, man, commit to the bit at least."

"I just...what if getting the information I want leads to something worse, or opens up old wounds and creates fresh ones, not just for me, but also for the family who lost them? There's so many factors I need to, well...factor in."

"I understand that, but jeez, Lily, like...you're so close to getting closure to something."

"Is that all life is, though? Getting closure? Maybe sometimes closure isn't necessary, maybe we put too much emphasis on it," Lilian said, and Alexis nodded solemnly, exhaling and running her hands through her hair, posting her knees up on her elbows.

"When Rick and I were out there," she said, "we stopped at this little seaside town, and while we were docked there, we went to the little boardwalk they had. There were carnival rides, and desserts and all sorts of neat stuff, games, and one of the things they had was a tunnel of love, which has always sounded like a really dirty euphemism if we're being honest but that's neither here nor there."

Lilian and Alexis laughed, and she continued.

"Anyway," she went on, "we decided to go on the tunnel of love, and while we were on the ride there was this couple in front of us, these two girls, and one of them was talking about how she saved a little girl from drowning when she was younger, when she was doing lifeguard work while in college. She was talking to her partner about, like, not letting that moment define her, you know? Like yeah it was formative, but she wasn't gonna allow it to be her totality. She never saw the little girl again, she moved on with her life, there was no closure."

"Does this exposition have a point, or are you just monologuing for the fun of it?" Lilian asked, leaning back in her chair and smirking, crossing her legs.

"...the little girl was me," Alexis said, and that made Lilian's eyes snap wide open, her breath caught in her chest in surprise; Alexis added, "I was the little girl. And for so much of my life I've wanted to find her, and talk to her about it, and there I was, I had the opportunity, but I didn't take it, because yeah, you're right, closure is this weird manmade idea and it isn't necessary for everything, and sometimes the healthiest thing one can do is simply move on, especially when doing the opposite might further negatively impact the lives of those involved. I didn't the chance, and...I'm okay with that. It's up to you. You can move on, or you can go back, but who knows, maybe you're the only other person who remembers this event, or was remotely involved or associated with it, and maybe meeting someone like that will bring them joy, not sadness. You never know."

Lilian smiled warmly as Alexis exhaled and placed her hands on her knees now, her eyes cast downwards to the floor.

"You are so different than you were, and not just before you left, but, like...even a year or so ago. You just seem so much more...I don't know...at peace," Lilian said, "I'm jealous, honestly."

"Yeah, well, turns out you can actually heal your inner child pretty well by beating your parents with a bat, so," Alexis said, the both of them laughing.

Alexis had returned, and with her, so did some normalcy to Lilian's life. She'd missed her so much, she couldn't stay angry at her for leaving. She knew she had to.

"I could go with you, if you want," Alexis said, "like, if they want to meet, or whatever, I could go with you. If you didn't wanna go alone. If you were scared about facing it by yourself. I know, from having Rick there, how much it can help to have someone who loves you by your side during difficult things."

Lilian smiled and leaned out of her chair and towards Alexis, grabbing and hugging her tight.

"I was so mad at you," Lilian whispered.

"And now?"

"I'm still mad at you, but at least you're here," Lilian said, making Alexis laugh a little.

"I guess I can live with that," she remarked.

***

Standing on the front porch, Helena digging for her keys in her purse, John watched her quietly, hands in his pockets. He glanced up at the porch light, a cool, cobalt blue color, and he squinted, curious about it.

"It was his favorite color," Helena said, catching him off guard. He turned to look at her, she too now looking at the light; she sighed and continued, "I put it in a bit after he died...I figured, I guess, in a way, it was like he was always home with me."

John nodded slowly, taking in her grief. Helena finally got her keys out and opened the door, then turned back to face him.

"Do you want to come inside?" she asked.

"It's a little late," John said, shrugging.

"Come inside," she said sternly.

"Well that was demanding," he replied, grinning.

"You like women who are in control, don't you? Isn't that your whole thing? Girls who tell you what to do?" she asked, making him crack up, which in turn made her chuckle. He shrugged and started to walk on past her and into the house.

"Well, if you say so," he said.

And she shut the door behind them.