Gayle and Steven were seated in their suite, Jasmine watching TV in the other room. Neither had said a word for a while, but really...what had to be said at this point? They'd all but aired their grievances with their life by now, over the course of this vacation, and now, neither was exactly sure what to say. Steven had brought up Erin, brought up wanting to help her, and this had cause Gayle to be intrigued, because she was nothing if not interested in helping someone help their sister, if their sister was like her daughter. But that was just the tip of the iceberg, because when Gayle had gotten back to the hotel the previous night, Steven could tell she had had sex with someone, and could smell Sasha's perfume on her. Gayle said they would discuss it tomorrow, and now here they were, in tomorrow, not discussing a goddamned thing.

"...Is it her specifically?" Steven asked.

"No, it could be any woman," Gayle replied, "don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous, and very sweet, which is nice, but it could be any woman."

"Are you...gay?" Steven asked, and Gayle smiled, but shook her head.

"No. I still love you. I'm still attracted to you. And I don't want a divorce," Gayle said, "but I think something has to seriously change, and...and not just with you, but with me. I'm part of the problem. I work too much, and I recognize this, and it isn't healthy even if it's financially helpful."

"I want to change jobs," Steven said, surprising her.

"Re...really?" Gayle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Erin, she said I'd be really good working with developmentally disabled children," Steven said, "and, honestly...she's not wrong. I'm good with Jasmine, and I know how they work. I mean, not every kid is the same, of course, but...but I feel like I'd be good at it regardless of the differences."

Gayle hadn't expected this. She knew Steven had been unhappy with his job for a while now, but he'd never brought up the idea of switching careers. Gayle smiled, and nodded.

"I think that's a really good idea, and I think you should try it," Gayle said, "and I think I'm going to ask to step down, just have some more hours to myself, for the family. I think I have proven my worth enough to be given that, and they won't lessen my paycheck as a result. I'm the best consultant they have, and they've seen that proof tenfold. Still..."

Gayle hated admitting that she'd miss working so much, but after spending time with Laura during this vacation, witnessing her become who she was, she realized she was missing out on her childrens development, and that scared her. She didn't want to become her mom. She wanted to be there for her kids, when they needed her or even when they didn't, just to watch and see them grow and change. She wanted to help.

"Then what do we do about us?" Steven asked.

That was the real question, and Gayle had no answer.

                                                                           ***

Hannah opened up the door to her parents suite, grinning as Laura walked inside. Laura was...surprised, to say the least. The lights had been dimmed - not hard, thanks to the built in dimmer switch every room had - and Hannah had even put on some quiet instrumental music over the stereo. Laura blushed deeply, and when she turned, she found Hannah standing behind her, holding a white rose.

"I got you this," Hannah said, "I had to buy it from a lady downtown, but...but I got it for you."

Laura graciously took the rose and smelled it. She didn't know what swooning was, exactly, but later on in life when she learned what it meant, she'd look back on this moment and realize that was indeed what she was doing right now. Laura smiled at Hannah, who giggled.

"This is very sweet of you," Laura said, and Hannah shrugged.

"I mean, I just...I wanted you to have something pretty, because you're pretty," Hannah replied. Laura let her fingertips gently touch the rose's delicate petals, afraid she'd damage it if she pressed too hard. Hannah then reached out and, gently, took Laura's free hand, leading her further into the bedroom suite. Laura felt her heart catch in her chest, unsure if she could actually do this. She wanted to, so badly, but she was nervous. Hannah sat herself on the end of the bed, then patted her lap. Laura giggled, put her rose carefully on the nearby dresser and sat in Hannah's lap. Hannah held onto her waist and kissed her collarbones. Laura shut her eyes and just let Hannah press her lips against her skin, loving the sensation.

"...you're so pretty," Hannah whispered as Laura ran her hands up into Hannah's hair.

"Are you kidding me? You're the pretty one. I'm a sack of potatoes next to you," Laura said, making Hannah chuckle. Hannah pulled her face away and then, holding Laura's face, making her look at her, she smiled.

"You're so pretty," she repeated herself, "Let me show you how pretty I think you are."

With this, Hannah started kissing her lips, one hand still on her hip as her other hand slid between Laura's legs and rubbed the crotch of her shorts. Laura's breath caught in her chest as Hannah unbuttoned Laura's shorts and slid her fingers in, rubbing her properly with her fingertips now. Laura had always wondered what this kind of intimacy might feel like - she knew that a lot of the girls at school were having sex with their boyfriends, and while she hadn't exactly been in a rush to find out herself, she couldn't deny the natural curiosity was there - and now that she was experiencing it firsthand, she couldn't believe how good it felt, yet also couldn't shake how awkward she felt at letting someone be this close to her, even if that someone was Hannah. Hannah backed up on the bed and pulled Laura onto the bed with her, Laura landing on her back as Hannah climbed up over her, continuing to kiss her, rub her.

"Is this okay?" Hannah asked, and Laura nodded, panting heavily.

"This is perfect," Laura replied, "please don't stop."

Hannah grinned as Laura blushed, and Hannah kissed down Laura's bare arms in her tanktop, before pushing her shirt up and nuzzling her tummy with her lips, continuing to head south. Laura knew what was coming, she knew where Hannah was headed, and she was nothing if not surprisingly eager to feel it happen. Hannah gripped the loops on Laura's shorts and tugged gently, then stopped and looked up.

"Is this okay? Can I-"

"Yes, please, please do," Laura said, her eyes shut, biting one of her fingers. Hannah nodded and continued, pulling her shorts down and then burying her face between Laura's legs as Laura wrapped her legs around Hannah's head as their fingers laced together, holding hands tightly. Laura had never felt such pleasure before, and she never wanted it to stop.

                                                                               ***

"I think it's a good idea," Gayle said, "I really do. But it's not a decision I can make on my own, it's a decision that affects both of us, so it needs to be mutual."

Steven nodded, listening. He wanted Gayle to be happy. But the problem was, what she was suggesting would only benefit her. Sure, it'd make her happy, which in turn would make him happy, but...to allow her to see women while being married? He didn't want to see anyone else. He had no interest in anyone outside of his wife. He buried his face in his hands and did his best not to cry.

"I'm sorry, I won't bring it up again," Gayle said softly, putting a hand on Steven's back; she then added, "it was just a suggestion because, outside of getting a divorce, which neither of us wants, I don't know what to do."

"I don't either," Steven whispered, "I want you to be happy, I do. I know you're not happy like this. But I also...I'd have no interest in seeing anyone else and it would be super one sided. I worry I'd get jealous and-"

"Jealous? Steven, anyone I would sleep with would be just that, someone to sleep with," Gayle said, "there's no replacing you emotionally. You're...you're so good. You're such a good person, a good man. I'm such a lucky woman to have someone like you love me. All I'm interested in is sex with other woman, nothing more, nothing less. Purely physical."

"But not sex with me?"

"Of course sex with you," Gayle said, "why...why do you-"

Steven stood up abruptly and started pacing, his hand over his mouth. He finally stopped, leaned on the sliding glass door to the balcony and sighed.

"Do you remember the first time we slept together?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, I do, it was special, so, kind of an important memory, my first time with my future husband and father of my children," Gayle said, the both of them chuckling nervously.

"Okay, well, you must not remember all of it," Steven said, "because...after about fifteen minutes of attempting to get into the groove, so to speak, you broke down crying. Do you not remember this?"

A hush fell over the room and the expression on Gayle's face changed dramatically.

"N..no, I...I really don't," she said, "but Steven, it was a long time ago, so-"

"You broke down crying, and I comforted you. Held you, stroked your hair, just told you that everything was alright and that if you weren't feeling up to it, we could try another night. Just tried to be as accommodating as possible. Tried to do the right thing, you know? Anyway you were just sobbing. Sobbing in a way I've never seen you sob before or since, actually. To be fair, we had been drinking a bit, and you were somewhat more sloshed than I was, so to speak. And then, at some point, you mumbled something, but cause you were crying, I couldn't make it out. I asked you to repeat yourself, and you did."

Gayle shifted anxiously, holding her own hand in her lap, biting her lip. Steven looked down at the floor and put his hands in his pockets.

"...and you did. To your credit, you were either willing enough to be that brave and open, or drunk enough, still never been sure which one it was, but regardless, you repeated it. You said, in quite possibly the saddest, meekest voice I've ever heard in my life, 'you're not her'. I didn't know what to make of that, honestly, so I didn't even bother asking a follow up. I just sort of took it at face value. But now, after this vacation, with all this context...I don't think I need to wonder anymore what you meant."

Gayle sniffled and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. Steven sat down beside her again and put a hand on her thigh as she exhaled, shakily.

"...it was this girl before you," Gayle said quietly, almost as if scared to discuss it, "her name was Casey. She was an interior decorator major, so when I got my first apartment I asked her to help me decorate it. I thought, ya know, this is what she's literally in school for but also it was a good way to get to know her. Anyway, it worked. I got to know her rather well as a result. We started spending all our time together, and she...she was so beautiful. Ethereal, almost, like an angel. Always had perfect hair. Perfect makeup. But she was also the first girl I'd ever been openly attracted to, and I was terrified of what would happen if my parents would find out."

"Understandable," Steven said.

"I was absolutely head over heels crazy for her," Gayle said, sniffling, trying not to cry now, "but, as it turns out, I was nothing more than an experiment for her. Started finding her at parties kissing men, which, I mean, I also like but still. When you're with someone, you expect to be the only person they kiss. She didn't even discuss it with me. I guess I've adapted those mannerisms now though..."

"No, you've been more than open about your attraction to women," Steven said, trying to assuage her guilt.

"Well thank you," Gayle said weekly, "uh...it got so bad. We started fighting all the time. We stopped being friends. We stopped being more than friends, and I say it like that because she never let me put a label on it, no matter how badly I wanted to, she refused. I was beyond devastated. I finally open up and act on my bicuriosity and what do I get? Bullshit. And then a few months later, I met you. That's...that's why I said that. I'm sorry, I know it's not a great explanation, but I was still pretty hung up on her even then. I'm sorry if that hurt you. I was just hurting so bad, and trying to move on brought it to the forefront."

Steven nodded, understanding his wife now better than he'd ever had before. He pulled her into him and squeezed her tight, kissing the side of her head. Gayle felt so safe with Steven, and really did love him. She didn't want what they had to end. She wanted to stay married, continue being a mom. But how could she possibly reconcile this with her interest in women?

"Gayle," Steven said, "you deserve to be happy, satisfied. Be yourself. This isn't...this isn't fair to you. Help me figure out how I can fix this for you."

"...I don't know that we can," Gayle whispered, and this broke Steven's heart.

                                                                           ***

Hannah lowered herself over Laura, one hand holding herself up, the other on Laura's face, making her blush as Hannah slipped herself between Laura's legs, grinding down against her. Laura craned her head back and breathed hard, panting, her eyes shut tight. The entire time she'd been with Hannah during the duration of this vacation, all she wanted were things of a physical nature that only seemed to progress the more they did. First she liked just holding her hand. Then she liked kissing her. But now, to be having sex for the first time, it was an amazing way of connecting that she never expected to experience at this age. Hannah kissed Laura again on the lips, whispering into her mouth.

"You're so beautiful," she said, her breath warm and wet; she continued, "I can't believe we're doing this."

"My dad always told me to wait until I was older," Laura said, half laughing as she grabbed Hannah's thigh and rolled her hips upwards, making Hannah moan; Laura added, "but all my peers are doing it."

"If all your peers were jumping off a bridge, would you do that too?" Hannah asked, the both of them cracking up.

Laura ran her hands up onto Hannah's hips and gripped them tightly, her fingertips sinking into Hannah's soft, warm skin. This felt almost...natural. Like she knew exactly what to do. There was no awkwardness, and that surprised her. She'd listened to some of her peers talk about how awkward the whole experience was, how painful it had been (of course for them they were doing penatrative, which makes sense to hurt the first time, and this wasn't the case with Laura) and how uncomfortable they'd felt throughout.

But...none of this was awkward or painful or uncomfortable. In fact, Laura had almost never felt more sure of herself than in these moments. She sat up and kept grinding against Hannah as she buried her face in Hannah's chest, Hannah's fingers becoming lost in Laura's hair. Laura knew what masturbation was like, she'd done it more than enough times to count, but the feeling she was getting from this wasn't like that. She opened her eyes and looked across the room, through the space under Hannah's arm, at the rose that was sitting on the dresser. She shut her eyes and buried her face back into Hannah's chest, as she felt her stomach tighten, her breath sharpen, her muscles clench. Whatever this was, it felt incredible, and she didn't want it to stop.

And before she knew it, she and Hannah were laying motionless on the bed, Hannah still on top, kissing her neck gently. Laura had never, in all her time masturbating, experienced a proper orgasm, so this entire feeling took her by complete surprise. Hannah kissed just under Laura's ear and whispered.

"You smell so good," Hannah said.

"I love you," Laura said suddenly, before widening her eyes and blushing. Hannah giggled and kissed her again, holding her face in her hands, her forehead resting against Laura's.

"I love you too," Hannah said, "...please just stay with me."

"I will. I promise," Laura mumbled, her brain scrambled from the concoction of hormones and emotions, "I promise."

Laura was not certain about much, but she was certain about two things. The first was that she was happier with Hannah than she'd ever possibly imagined, and the second...the second was that she would never become her mother.

                                                                               ***

Gayle was leaning on the balcony, smoking a cigar with Steven, passing it back and forth between the two of them as they looked out over the pool below. Gayle knew Laura had gone to Hannah's a while ago, but she had no idea her daughter was losing her virginity, nor would she really care. As far as Gayle was concerned, only Laura could make that decision of when the best time was for her. She was, however, expecting her back by now. She took a long puff then handed the cigar back to Steven.

"I could dress up as a woman," Steven said, making Gayle laugh.

"That's a very sweet offer, and honestly kinda hot, but no thank you," Gayle replied, "Steven, let's just go to counseling. Maybe I can just...push past it. Ignore it and-"

"You should never have to ignore who you are," Steven said, "that's the last fucking thing I want you to do. Well, I don't know, kind of a tie between that and leaving me. Neither are preferable, frankly."

"Then what do we do?" Gayle asked, and Steven shrugged.

"Right now, I say we go home tomorrow, we help Erin out, and we work through things one day at a time. And if there's no alternative than just...ya know...you meeting women, then that's what we-"

"What if we both did?" Gayle asked, "...what if we found a woman we both liked, who liked both of us? We could be a thruple. I know we're going from a fairly traditional family unit to something somewhat nontraditional in no time at all, but...what about that? That way you wouldn't feel neglected."

"But the only woman I want is you," Steven said, leaning in and kissing her shoulder, "you're...you're it for me."

Gayle blushed and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Marriage kinda sucks sometimes," she said.

"Yeah, it can," Steven said, "but it's worth it. Maybe your idea isn't too bad. We can look into that."

Gayle smiled and hid her face in his arm. She was so lucky to have a man so understanding, and so willing to work on things with her. When Laura finally got back to the hotel about a half hour later, she told her mother what happened, and her mother held her and cried. Not because her daughter was growing up. But because she was getting everything Gayle herself had never gotten.

Parenthood also kinda sucks sometimes.