Published on
Nat's bed hadn't been slept in. Her car wasn't at her house. She wasn't answering her phone. All of these things were compounding to make Jay begin to worry, and worst of all, he didn't know who to turn to for help. When he tried to talk to Sharla about it, Sharla told him she was likely taking some time to herself and to just let her cool off, and when he called Corrine, he couldn't even get her to stay on the phone for more than a minute because she was "busy" with a project, that project - unbeknownst to him - was Ashley. Sitting in Nat's house, on the couch, staring ahead at the blank television screen, all Jay could ask himself was...

...where the hell was Natasha Simple?

                                                                                            ***

"What else can I get you?" the waitress asked, as Natasha put her menu down.

"I want some more coffee, and, uh, a piece of pie I guess," Nat replied, "Thanks."

The waitress took the order, smiled, then turned on her heel and headed back to the kitchen. Nat slumped in her booth seat and sighed. She pulled her cell phone from her coat pocket and looked at it. 28 new messages. She sighed again and rubbed her eyes, stuffing the phone back in her pocket.

"Running away from something?" a voice asked, and she looked over the booth seat behind her to see a young woman sitting there, looking at her.

"...kinda, yeah."

"Well the pie and the coffee is a good start," the woman said, "but you know what would really piss whoever's trying to find you off? Throwing your phone into a body of water. They do it in all the movies, so it has to work."

Nat smirked. She appreciated this strange girls candor.

"What are you doing?" Nat asked as the waitress brought her coffee and she started to pour some sweetener in it and stir.

"I'm on my way back to college, was only in town for a bit this summer to see my folks," the woman said, "and I like eating in diners. It's like, one of the last places around where you can feel like you're just like everyone else, no better, no worse. You're all here for the same thing, you know? To just...relax and have a meal. It's nice."

Nat nodded. She understood exactly what this girl meant. The waitress returned a moment later with Nat's pie, setting it down before leaving once again. Nat picked up her fork and started cutting into the pie and scooping it in her mouth.

"Do you have kids?" the woman asked, and Nat stopped cold in her tracks.

"...yeah, I do," she replied quietly.

                                                                                                ***

"Well where the fuck is she then?" Jay asked, and Corrine shrugged as she sat on the couch with Ashley while Jay paced around Nat's living room, frustrated and flummoxed; he turned and looked at them, furrowed his brow and asked, "...and why did you come together?"

"We're redecorating her office," Ashley said, nodding at Corrine, "so we were doing that when you called originally. We've been meeting for about a week now."

"Oh, well, that's cool," Jay said, scratching the back of his head and adding, "jesus, this isn't like her. She isn't the type of person to just take off like this."

"If you think that then you really don't know her," Ashley said, surprising Jay, who turned to face her, confused; she continued, "take it from someone who grew up with Natty, she's...flighty, I'll say it. She's not a bad person by any means, don't take me the wrong way, I'm just saying that she can be kinda tough to keep in one place. She likes to be alone. Much as she loves her daughter, and her friends, she also struggles with being with others."

Jay finally plopped himself down in a recliner and folded his arms, exhaling slowly.

"Alright, so...where do we start? What do we do? Do we just wait for her to come back? Do we report as missing? That usually takes 72 hours or some shit. What's our inroad here into how to handle this situation? Not only because we have a show to begin producing again soon, but also because I'm genuinely worried about her."

"I get that, and that's sweet, but take it from me, you'll be better off in the end just letting Nat do whatever it is she needs to do," Ashley said.

Jay nodded, taking that into consideration, even if he didn't fully believe it.

                                                                                               ***

Nat was sitting outside the diner now, sharing a joint with the college student. As they leaned on the planter boxes, passing the smoke back and forth, Nat couldn't really believe what she was doing and where she was. The college girl tossed her hair out of her face and pulled her beanie further down onto her head.

"My mom died when I was really young, so it's my stepmom and my dad now," she said, "but things are weird. I don't really get along with her the way he'd like, and then there's tension cause of how my mom died so things are awkward between he and I, so. The whole situation's messed up. I only really come back during the holidays to see my friends, honestly, but I feel like I'd get bitched at if I didn't stop at home."

"I get that," Nat said, taking the joint from her and taking a long puff before waiting then handing it back and exhaling into the sweet summer air, "my home life is fucked. My husband left me for my sister, my daughter left me because I didn't pay enough attention. Everything is just...a mess, and it's really kinda all my fault. I put my career before my family. I wanted to help others learn to help themselves. Learned helplessness is something nobody ever talks about, but it's so common, and I wanted to help people unlearn that."

"That's a noble cause, I can get behind that," the college girl said, "...but are you sure your daughter is mad at you, specifically?"

That got Nat's attention, and she looked at the girl.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean, like, maybe she's not mad at you specifically, as a person, but at the persona you have in the public," the girl said, "Like she knows you as a totally different, totally real person, and I'm not saying you're not actually that helpful kind person in reality, you certainly seem like one, but I'm just saying that maybe she's annoyed at how fake everything is. You were on TV, right? That's what you said? Television, even stuff on public broadcast, isn't as real as you'd like it to be. But now you're online, ya know? And that can also have a veil of unreality to it - more often than not it does I'd argue - but you can choose whether to be real or not because you're not hiding behind some corporate mandated policy. You work for yourself. You decide the reality. Maybe she wants to see you be you, and not the persona."

Nat was shocked. Not only had she never considered this, but she was completely taken aback by the fact that this was being brought up to her by a goddamned college kid. The girl shrugged and pressed the joint end shut to save it for later before sticking it in her shirt pocket.

"But I don't know, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, I mean, after all I'm not famous, I'm not an influencer or whatever, so-"

"...she wanted me to be me, not the person they thought I was," Nat said softly, "but I got so wrapped up in my business that the persona became who I am. She got sick of the facade. There was no telling the difference between me and 'me', right? The curtain never closed. I was always in performance mode. And you're saying she got, understandably, tired of it."

"Yeah, basically."

"That's...really insightful, actually," Nat said, "...but I know she's also annoyed that I helped others instead of focusing on her, and she has every right to be annoyed at that."

"So help others together or something," the girl said, shrugging again, "there's plenty of online teams who do good work for others together. Just...get her involved."

Nat leaned against the planter box and sighed, shaking her head. The college girl checked her watch and knew she had to get back on the road. She pulled the joint back out and handed it to Nat, smiling.

"You can keep it, I got plenty more," she said, "I need to get back to driving if I'm gonna make it back on time."

"I'm sorry your mother died," Nat said, "but I'm sure she'd be proud of how intelligent and kind you are."

The girl was not expecting this level of bluntness, and she blushed.

"Thanks," she said, "I hope things work out for you. You seem like a great mom, for the record."

Nat watched the girl walk to her car and get in. She started it, waved through the windshield, then backed out of the parking lot and headed off down the road. As she watched the car disappear over the horizon, Nat thought about what the girl had said. About getting Violet involved. Violet was far more inspiring than Natasha could ever hope to be. She could be a true role model for people like her, people with mental disabilities, people who could see her and think, 'hey, I can be okay! society is wrong!'. She pushed the joint into her coat pocket and then headed to her own car. There was one last place she had to go.

                                                                                        ***

Corrine was sitting in Ashley's living room while Ashley put music on on her stereo. Once it was playing, she turned and looked at Corrine, smiling, but Corrine wasn't smiling. Ashley didn't want to waste this afternoon. Stephen was away on business, and she had the place to herself for a few days. She wanted to spend that time with Corrine, preferably in a good mood.

"Worried about my sister?" Ashley asked.

"Kinda, but I'm also worried about me," Corrine said.

"And how's that?" Ashley asked.

"Cause, like...if she can break, any of us can break," Corrine said, "She always seemed so sturdy, so unbending; she survived so much like her husband leaving and her show getting pulled and all these sorts of things, and the thing that actually manages to take her down is a magazine that calls her a role model? I know Violet leaving had a lot to do with it too, but still, the magazine's where she really seemed to crumble."

Ashley pulled her hair back into a ponytail and sat on Corrine's lap, looking in her eyes. Corrine looked back, blushing hard, still not used to have a beautiful woman be interested in her again.

"It's sweet that you worry about her," Ashley said, "it really is. You're a really good, true friend, and that's really attractive. But I'm telling you, as someone who grew up with her, she'll be okay. She's always okay. She'll take some time alone, take stock of some things in her life and come back with a better attitude. This is just what she does."

Ashley leaned in and kissed Corrine's neck, making her blush even harder.

"Now," Ashley whispered, "We can worry about my sister until the cows come home - and no I'm not calling my sister a cow - or, we can try and live in the moment and enjoy ourselves. Aren't you tired of focusing on everyone else for a change? What about what you want?"

"...I know what I want," Corrine said, grinning and kissing Ashley, making Ashley laugh. She was right, Corrine knew. Worrying would do nothing. They couldn't find her. She had left no paper trail, and she clearly didn't want to be around anyone. All anybody could do was simply wait for her to come back. To come home. To their surprised, she was on her way home.

Just not the home they knew.

                                                                                                ***

Natasha opened the car door and stepped out onto the dirt. She looked up at the small house, and she smiled. She started walking up the walkway and approached, noticing the lights inside were off, and it was still essentially abandoned. She fidgeted with the door and opened it, heading inside. The house was on a small piece of land, a bit aways from the nearest town, and there was nobody else around for miles. As she entered through the door and further into the domicile, all the memories came rushing back.

The laughter, the smells, the music, the love. This was a place built on memories, a place she had tried so hard to forget because of how much the loss had hurt. Natasha walked into the kitchen and for a brief moment she swore she could still smell her grandmothers cooking. She walked further in and ran her hand across the countertops, dusty and dirty, but still beautiful, still worthwhile, just like her. She leaned against the counter and looked around the kitchen. All the great meals her grandmother had cooked in here, all the little parties they had thrown. Where did the time go?

She sighed and pulled her phone from her coat pocket, and finally opened the screen to a flurry of messages, all of which she ignored. She found a live streaming app, headed into her account, then walked into the living room and set the phone on the fireplace mantel before hitting "stream" and walking back into the center of the room.

"...hello, my name is Natasha Simple," she said, her voice shaky as she continued, "...you might know me from my public access show of many years, or my current endeavor, my website and webseries where I try and help others get their lives under control and back on track. I love helping people. But now I'm asking for help. I need someone, anyone, to listen to me, please. Because I'm about to tell you a story. It's about me, and how I failed everyone around me, and how I don't deserve their forgiveness."

She hesitated, wiping her eyes on her coat sleeve before chuckling and looking back at the screen and exhaling.

"Don't forget to subscribe while you're here," she said, "cause this may take a while."
Published on

"You got everything?" Nick asked as he entered the hospital room. Allie, using a cane, was standing by the bed, zipping up her bag and nodding. Nick walked across the room to the bed and picked the bag up by its handles and then looked surprised at its weight.


"What?" Allie asked.


"You were only in here for a week, why's this weigh like a ton of bowling balls?" he asked.


"I stole stuff," she replied, shrugging, "I didn't come in with anything, remember? Everything that's in that bag is stuff I stole from this hospital. Towels, tongue depressors, gauze, you name it and I shoved it in that bag. Except my tooth brush."


"Please tell me your toothbrush isn't touching hospital gauze," Nick murmured.


"Of course not," Allie replied, scoffing, "What kind of goblin do you take me for? It's surrounded by cute fish bandaids for children."


"You are disgusting," Nick said, laughing as he left the room. Allie, chuckling to herself, turned and pulled the curtain back from around Jenny's bedside. She then pulled a rolling stool over to the bed and sat down beside her on it. Jenny looked over at her, best she could, her face still essentially covered.


"I'll be back, okay?" she asked, "And if I don't come back, then tell everyone you're a mummy who cursed me. They'll buy that, look at how you're wrapped."


Jenny tried to smile, but it hurt.


"When's your surgery?" Allie asked.


"In a few days," Jenny said, "hopefully they don't make me look any worse than I already do."


"I don't see how that's possible," Allie replied, "right now you look like raw hamburger. The best outcome is you look like a nice steak."


"Please stop comparing me to meat," Jenny said, "I don't appreciate being objectified like this."


Allie laughed, as Nick re-entered the room. He stood in the doorframe and waited, watching. Allie looked over her shoulder at him and knew she couldn't wait too much longer, so she turned back to face Jenny, patted her hands and smiled.


"I'll come for your surgery, okay? I'll be here when you get out," she said softly.


As Allie stood up and left, Jenny watched the two of them and thought to herself why she was still defending someone who had put her in this hospital bed. Sure, it'd been accidental, but...it still had happened. Why was she so very desperate for the attention of a woman not interested in her, and who had done so many awful things to her? Jenny looked away from the door as it shut behind them, and sighed. She'd worry about all this later. Right now she needed to focus on getting her strength back for upcoming surgery. In about a week, she was going to have a brand new face.


And one that nobody would see coming.


                                                                          ***


"Mr. Ephram's expecting you," a woman said to Molly, who was waiting in the hall. She put her book down and headed inside Tony's office. He was on the phone when she entered, but he didn't shoo her away. Instead he merely waved at her politely, grinning, then motioned for her to take a seat, which she did while he wrapped up his phone call.


"Yeah, well, let me know what comes of it," he said, "either way I'm working on something, and if this works out, we can fix this problem together. Alright, thanks for calling. Bye."


Tony hung up and turned his attention to Molly.


"So," he said, cupping his hands and leaning in on his desk, "I never really thanked you for the work you did on my new casino. It's beautiful. Sure, it...uh...has had its share of unwanted attention now, but ya know. That's Vegas."


Molly managed to push out a small, seemingly unforced laugh, but inside she was nervous.


"Anyway, you're an architect, I mean clearly, but I looked into your background. You're, like, a well established architect. You went to a good school, you've designed a lot of famous places here in town, always come critically acclaimed and highly recommended. I like your work on my casino so much I think I have another job for you."


"...really?" Molly asked, "...to be honest, I wasn't entirely sure why you wanted to see me to begin with."


"I know, I probably should have done this over the phone to lessen the tension but, hey, I prefer face to face," Tony said, lighting a cigar and taking a few puffs, "you don't mind if I smoke do you?"


"Not at all."


"Would you like one?"


"...okay."


Tony smirked, then lit up a cigar for Molly and handed it across the desk to her. As she started puffing on it, he stood up and walked over to the large window behind his desk, looking out at the cityscape below. A few minutes went by of silence, and finally he exhaled and spoke again.


"You ever build a vault, Miss Hatchet?" Tony asked, "I know it's probably not technically architecture considering it isn't an entire building, but you ever done something like that? Design a vault? You know, like...like what they use at banks and stuff?"


"...uh..."


"The reason I ask is because I'm looking for a way to store something," Tony said, "...can you keep a secret?"


Molly hesitated, then nodded nervously. After all, wasn't she already keeping a dozen secrets? What could one more hurt?


                                                                         ***


Zoe was sitting at Molly's kitchen table while Effie served her breakfast, and then took a seat across from her, the both of them digging in. When Molly had left that morning, Zoe called Effie up and asked her to come over, and when Effie subsequently offered to cook an enormous breakfast platter, Zoe wasn't going to say no to that. Zoe took a sip of her coffee and sighed, looking at Effie scooping scrambled eggs onto a fork and eating them.


"I don't deserve any of this," Zoe said, "this cute rom com bullshit."


"I don't think your girlfriend cooking you breakfast counts as a rom com, but alright," Effie said, chuckling.


"It's been a terrible few weeks, hell, it's been a terrible few days," Zoe said, "so I appreciate it either way."


Effie blew her a kiss, making Zoe blush. For so long, this was all Zoe really wanted. Just a nice quiet home, a girl to cook for her, and to do magic with her idol. She'd sort of gotten all that, but with a giant caveat attached. Zoe wanted to tell Effie everything about what she'd been through, but she knew she couldn't. Effie couldn't get involved. She didn't deserve that. If Allie's entire argument was that she did what she did to protect Zoe, then Zoe was doing the same for Effie. Zoe started sniffling, and then full on crying, causing Effie to stand up and come around the table, sitting beside her, kissing the side of her head and rubbing her back.


"Hey it's alright," Effie whispered, "you're alright. I know things have been fucked lately. Allie putting herself in the hospital has to hurt."


Zoe started wailing and collapsed against Effie's shirt. Effie sighed and just held her, consoling her. She hated seeing what Allie was doing to this girl, but she was in a strange place. On one hand, she and Allie had a long time personal and professional relationship that she didn't want to damage, but on the other hand, she was now romantically involved with a woman Allie was - likely unintentionally - hurting, and that didn't sit well with her either. It seemed like there was no good way out of this situation.


"Move in with me," Effie said, surprising her.


"w...what?"


"Yeah, you don't wanna go back to your sisters, you don't wanna see your family, you can't stay with Molly forever-"


"Yes I can, she said she likes having a pet."


"That's not a compliment, sweetheart," Effie said, laughing loudly, "come move in with me. We'll make it work. It'll be our home together. You don't have to live through the goodwill of friends. Live through the goodwill of your partner."


Zoe smirked, which made Effie smile, who then took Zoe's face in her hands gently and pressed her lips against Zoe's. Zoe could never resist the taste of Effie, and her knees buckled even though she was sitting down. How could she say no to this sort of thing?


"Will you make me breakfast every day?" Zoe asked.


"Get off my back, woman," Effie said, the both of them laughing now before kissing again.


                                                                              ***


Allie pushed open the door to her penthouse, with Nick in tow behind her. He dropped the bags when he entered and stretched, cracking his back. Allie sighed and looked around at her home, and shook her head. God...she didn't realize how much she missed her place when she wasn't capable of being in it. She turned back to face Nick, who was still adjusting his spine. Allie looked down at the handle of her cane and thought to her "accident". She sighed and looked back up.


"Did you put me in Jenny's room on purpose?" she asked bluntly.


"Well, I figured you'd wanna be with her," Nick said, "Considering what'd happened. But that doesn't mean that what happened can happen again, okay? You've worked too hard to get clean to backpeddle now."


What? Allie was confused. She thought Nick knew she'd purposefully done what she'd done, but...oh no. It finally hit her. Nick thought she had genuinely tried to hurt herself. She fidgeted uncomfortably and chewed her lip as he walked to the minifridge and grabbed a soda, popped the top and took a long swig before leaning against the wall and looking at her again.


"Seriously, Allie, I'm here," he said, "I was angry, but...I don't know, I'm sorry. I'm not saying I don't have the right to be angry, but I also don't want you to hurt yourself. I didn't think you'd be so upset that you'd try to-"


"ohmygod," Allie muttered under her breath, unable to believe what she was hearing, even though she'd now missed a good portion of his statement. She zoned back in for the last of it though.


"-but we can work on it together, okay? I still love you. I don't wanna see you get worse again," Nick said, approaching her, setting his soda down as he got closer and putting his hands on her hips and lifting her up onto the back of the couch and kissing her neck, whispering, "I don't wanna see you get worse again. God you smell good."


"I do?"


"Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've become attracted to the smells of the hospital. I do spend a lot of time there," Nick said.


"Weirdo," Allie said, making him chuckle as he kept kissing her neck and she ran her hands through his hair, moaning lightly. How could she say no to this? All she wanted was Nick, and she had gotten him back by getting sober. She certainly wasn't going to lose him again now, not because of Jenny, and not because of her half hearted attempt to get into the hospital to see her. So she figured she'd let Nick believe whatever he wanted, because it gave her the upper hand. But this made Allie wonder...was she really as bad a person as he had said? Was she, in fact, poison?


"I know I just spent a week in bed, but take me there anyway," she whispered, giggling, and Nick nodded, picking her up and carrying her across the suite.


"With pleasure," he said, kissing her.


When Allie woke up, it was later that night, and she stretched and rolled onto her side, cuddling up to Nick, who pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. She smiled and closed her eyes, snuggling up into him when she noticed the flashing lights outside. Sudden dread and fear filled her. Anxiety came rushing in. This was it. This was the last nice moment. They'd finally come for her. Allie stumbled out of bed and fell to the floor, before pulling herself back up, her hip screaming at her. She grabbed her cane and hobbled her way to the window and looked out cautiously.


"What's going on?" Nick asked, sitting up now, before standing and joining her, "...the fuck? What's with all the cops?"


Allie turned and began to sweat as she walked away from the window. She panicked. She had to tell Nick everything. Right now. The truth. The entire unvarnished truth. She turned and looked at Nick, who was still looking out the window.


"I did something bad," Allie mumbled, and Nick cocked his head, pulling the window open and leaning out, looking upwards above them, but Allie didn't notice and she said, "Nick, I said I did something really bad, and I-"


"Holy shit it's Molly," Nick said, and that caught Allie's attention. Allie rushed to join him at the window and looked out, noticing Molly was on the roof of the suites, standing on a window ledge. Allie's breath caught in her chest. She quickly pulled on some pants best she could and a tank top and, with her cane, rushed outside of her suite and up the stairs towards the room Molly was near. Allie bumbled through the door and then looked around the suite, trying to find the right window, until she finally saw a window open in the suite in the bedroom and approached it. Allie leaned out and noticed Molly standing there, overlooking the city below.


"Yo, what the fuck," Allie said loudly, getting Molly's attention.


"What are you doing here?" Molly asked.


"I live right below this suite!" Allie said, "What are you doing, Molly?"


"...I'm gonna jump," Molly whispered, her voice wavy and broken, "I'm gonna jump and remove myself from all this."


"The fuck you're not," Allie said, climbing through the window, before remembering that perhaps being on a ledge when using a cane was likely not a god idea; she pulled herself back in and kept looking out instead, "Molly, what's going on? Talk to me."


"...I just wanted to make buildings for a living," Molly whispered, "but then you two...you specifically, you had to drag me down into your bullshit, lying to me until lying no longer served your needs, and now I'm fully in it, man. I'm part of a criminal empire."


"Okay first of all, I'll accept the criminal part, but the empire part is a bit of a stretch," Allie said, "Not saying I don't appreciate the thought, it's nice that you think of me as that established, but-"


"Not you!" Molly said, tears rolling down her face, her lip quivering, "not you. Tony wants me to build a vault."


"What?" Allie asked, half laughing.


"...he needs somewhere to store money that isn't being collected in taxes, somewhere it can't be found," Molly said, "he says some of his associates are being followed for their part in a major tax dodge, and he's worried. He made me promise not to tell. I promised."


"Then why are you telling me?"


"Because I trust you, stupid as that must sound considering what you did to me, I trust you," Molly said, "I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna hide things, I don't wanna steal bodies, I don't wanna build vaults. I just..." Molly bowed her head and sobbed, whispering, "..,i just wanna make buildings again."


Allie felt her heart break. Danger be damned, she thought, and she put her cane on the floor and climbed out onto the ledge, keeping herself as stable as possible as she approached Molly. Molly looked over at her and Allie smiled, reaching and taking her hand, squeezing it tightly.


"Then take me with you," Allie said, "cause I'm not gonna be somewhere you ain't. I can help you, Molly. Either jump and take me with you, or come inside and let me help you. We can figure this out together, alright?"


Molly looked over the ledge again, her feet shuffling closer to the edge, and she thought about it. How it'd feel, to be so free, falling carelessly through the air to the inevitable end. But...but here she had a chance, a chance to do something better. To come out on top.


"If you help me," Molly said softly, "I want the credit."


"What?"


"If you help me, and we put Tony away, I want the credit. My entire life was tarnished by a man hurting me in high school. Your life was derailed by a man offering you pills. I am sick and tired of powerful men putting their problems on the women around them, and then using those women to further their agendas. If we're going to take down a powerful man, I want the credit."


Allie was dumbfounded. She'd never expected Molly to say this sort of thing. But...at the moment, what could she do besides no and agree? After all, she had to get her off this ledge.


"Sure, yeah, just...come inside, and we'll talk through it," Allie said, "We'll find a way to make it work, alright?"


Molly nodded, took Allie's hand, and together the two entered the suite as clapping and cheers from below sounded. Allie then, surprisingly even to herself, turned and hugged Molly as tightly as she could, and never wanted to let her go.


                                                                           ***


"What do you think that's all about?" Agent Tropper asked, nodding to the television, as he and Agent Siskel sat in her apartment, eating chinese and watching the scene unfold on the news.


"I don't know," Agent Siskel said, scooping some shrimp into her mouth, "but I reckon we'll find out any day now."

Published on
"She's still here," Sharla said, entering the editing bay with Jay as they looked at Natasha, lying facedown on the couch, clutching a magazine in one hand. Jay sighed and headed further into the room, kneeling beside the couch and touching her head.

"You okay?" he asked, before glancing back at Sharla, "is she okay?"

"They called me a role model," Nat murmured, getting Jay to turn his attention back to her as she continued, now flapping the magazine in her hand at him, "they had the gall, the sheer audacity, the nerve even, to call me this years local role model. I'm not a role model. I can't even be a good mom. Where'd they come to this conclusion?"

"These things usually mean nothing," Sharla said, "often what they do is put a poll online on a social media page and then ask users to vote for someone in said poll. Ordinary everyday people have no idea what's going on in your life, man. They can't...they can't know what you're going through. They aren't privy to your problems at home."

"Listen to her, she's right," Jay said, making Nat finally look up at him, her eyes red like she'd been crying all morning; he felt bad, he thought this sort of thing would normally make her feel better, but not this summer. Not after what had happened. He sighed and added, "look, it's just some random poll, it doesn't mean anything."

"Yes it is," Nat whispered, pushing her face back into the couch, refusing to elaborate on her reasoning.

Jay sighed and stood up, looking around the room before looking back at Sharla.

"Where's Corrine?" he asked.

                                                                                           ***

"You have fantastic hips," Corrine said, watching as Ashley sat upright on the bed and lit a cigarette; she continued, "I wish I had hips half as nice as yours."

"Well, you're welcome to borrow mine anytime you'd like," Ashley said, leading to an awkward silence before she added, "...sorry, that...that was meant to be romantic, but instead it felt creepy. I haven't flirted in a long time, and definitely never with a woman, so."

"Amazing how one can be so bad at flirting but so good in bed," Corrine said, making Ashley laugh loudly.

"Do you wanna go get lunch somewhere?" Ashley asked, "It's almost 1pm. We could go get something to eat. Strenuous physical activity like this always makes me hungry afterwards."

"I suppose. I don't have anything to be working on, so it should be okay," Corrine said.

The two women got dressed, then headed to Ashley's car. They got in and she pulled out of the driveway, heading down the road somewhere. She'd figure it out along the way. That was kind of how she rolled these days, it seemed. As she drove, she reached over and held Corrine's hand, one hand still on the steering wheel. Corrine blushed at this show of genuine affection, and glanced out the window. The last thing she expected this summer was to meet someone else...especially the sister of the woman she worked for.

They eventually settled on a little hole in the wall sushi place, and parked and headed inside. Sitting at the counter, taking small plates with sushi off the little boats that swam past them, Corrine couldn't help but feel paranoid that everyone here somehow not only knew who they were, but also what they were doing. She had been having regularly paranoid episodes ever since her breakup, and she hated it.

"...how's Violet doing?" Corrine asked, unsure of what else to talk about.

"She keeps to herself," Ashley said, "I try and be a good host, you know? I am her aunt after all. But...it's weird. She's very closed off. I think she doesn't really know how to feel about everything. I think she's, like, waiting for someone to tell her it's okay to be angry or something."

"When I was a kid," Corrine said, popping another sushi roll in her mouth, "I didn't understand how to feel things, so my teacher made me go to a special class where a woman showed me a chart with various faces on it, and asked me what I thought 'sad' felt like depending on the face. It was...weird. I'm better with feelings now, but I imagine that must sort of be like what Violet deals with."

"No, not really," Ashley said, wiping her mouth with her napkin and sipping her soda, "I mean, she knows how she feels. She's upset. She has every right to be upset. But she's mad that she's upset, and worse than that, she's mad that her mom isn't more upset than she is. She's all jumbled up and confused. Teenagers are like that."

"...maybe I could talk to her?" Corrine asked.

"Actually, she's seeing Noreen today," Ashley said, patting Corrine on the thigh, "besides, I wouldn't wanna lose any time with you."

Corrine blushed and looked away. She may have used to have problems with feelings, but she sure knew how she felt right now.

                                                                                           ***

Noreen and Violet were sitting in Noreen's bedroom. Violet hadn't said a word in over an hour, instead just looking through a photo album while Noreen made a beaded necklace on the bed. Finally, Violet put the album down and looked across to Noreen, who smiled at her as she looked up, her hands still working on threading beads.

"I feel like you're the only one who really understands me," Violet said, "and it isn't fair that you weren't in our lives until recently, because, ya know, I could've, uh, used you before."

"Well I'm here now, that counts for something, right?" Noreen asked.

"I just want my mom to, uh, to...to see me as, like, I don't know...worth her time? She says she does all this for me, she says I'm why she works so hard, but it always seems like everyone else comes before me and she doesn't really know how to be a mom proper. She has the idea of what a mom should be, but doesn't know how to do it?"

Noreen sighed and set down her beads and looked at Violet seriously.

"...I think it's because women of our generation didn't exactly know that we wanted to be moms, but it was still expected of us, socially, to do so. So a lot of us had children without the ability to know how to properly raise them. A lot of these moms see themselves as friends, not parents, and you can be a friend to your child, but you also need to be a parent," she said, "your mom is trying, sweetheart, she really is. She just...doesn't know how."

Violet sighed and looked back down at the photo album, seeing an image of Noreen and her parents on a camping trip, and she smiled. Noreen had gotten the childhood Violet wanted for herself, and she was simultaneously jealous and grateful that at least one of them had had it.

                                                                                              ***

"I don't get what the big deal is, frankly," Sharla said, sitting on her workout ball and sipping from her stainless steel water bottle; "if someone called me a role model, I'd be flattered. It's what I try to be. A good example of how to live. I eat well, I exercise. I am trying to be a role model."

"...yeah, well...that's the irony isn't it. I'm not," Nat said, sitting upright on the couch now, "you don't get it, you guys...any other year this would've made me happy, but this year..."

She looked down at the magazine again and sighed, shaking her head as Jay and Sharla waited and listened.

"...if Violet sees this, it'll simply reinforce her idea that I'm only here for others, and not for her. That her own mother is inaccessible to her. I wanna help people, sure, I wanna be a role model. But not right now. This is not the best time. I couldn't even be a mom, how the hell could I be a role model to strangers? Do you see my dilemma now?"

Sharla nodded and continued sipping as Jay unwrapped a piece of gum and stuck it in his mouth.

"I do, but you're thinking about this all wrong," he said, "you need to look at it from a different point of view. Maybe she sees it and she sees all the good you really do, and it makes her reconsider how-"

"No, see, that's the problem, Jay, right there, doing mental gymnastics to make sense of my daughters disappointment with me," Natasha said, "she shouldn't have to accept these things, how she feels is completely understandable and valid. She shouldn't have to go through hoops psychologically to like her mother."

"She has a point," Sharla said, as Jay shot her a nasty glare and she shrugged, taking another sip, whispering, "what...she does."

Nat looked back at the magazine and sighed again. She should just go talk to Violet, but she didn't want to intrude on her daughters personal space. After all, she'd moved out of the house for a reason, and the last thing Nat wanted to do was violate that decision in some way. She tossed the magazine on the couch and buried her face in her hands.

"I'm just saying that she's not wrong. Violet should be able to feel and think the way she does without trying to be convinced otherwise that she's somehow the one misunderstanding the situation. She's already mentally challenged. To gaslight a mentally challenged person is a whole other level of abuse, quite frankly."

"I'm not saying she needs to be gaslit, jesus, but just that maybe she's capable of seeing it from another way," Jay said, "there's no reason for..."

They'd heard the door shut, but neither one had seen Nat get up and leave. Jay sighed and shook his head. He wanted to get up and follow her, but he was beginning to ask whether she was worth the effort. She clearly wanted to be alone. Violet clearly wanted to be alone. Like mother like daughter.

                                                                                              ***

"Don't you feel guilty, even just a little bit?" Corrine asked as she sat on Ashley's lap in the front seat of the car after lunch, making out.

"No, do you?" Ashley asked, making Corrine shrug.

"...not particularly, but I wanted to make sure we were on the same page," she replied, making them both chuckle; she leaned in and kissed Ashley again, then added, "I just meant to ask, you know, cause of Stephen and everything, like, maybe you-"

"I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something remorseful about it, but I learned a while ago life is too short to worry about that sort of thing. I'll end things with him, I will, I just feel awkward about it because he was there for me and stuff, you know? It's all super complicated."

"...you're sure you want this, right?" Corrine asked, "I'm sorry, I just...I have trouble believing anyone could ever remotely like me. When Nat and Jay first approached me to work with them, I was like 'is this some sort of extreme practical joke?' and now you liking me just makes me wonder the same thing. I've never really been able to believe that I'm worth the time or effort people give me."

Ashley smiled and ran her hand through Corrine's dark brown hair.

"Your uncertainty about yourself is one of your most admirable traits, I like a girl with no self esteem," she said.

"Hey!"

"but yes, I'm sure. I thought I was gonna die, remember? I spent a good portion of a while thinking I was on my way out, and then evaluating all the things I'd never get to do as a result of that."

"Things like that?"

"Things like hot women with no self esteem," Ashley replied.

"Okay, you need to stop saying I have no self esteem. It's ironically ruining my self esteem," Corrine said, making Ashley throw her head back and cackle, which made Corrine blush and go back to kissing her. Who was she to question what life choices Ashley was to make? It's not like she herself had made the right ones. Hell, even Natasha hadn't. Perhaps, she thought, that's what truly binded them all together, was not being good at making decisions, so perhaps if they made decisions with eachother, they'd at least get one right once in a while.

                                                                                             ***

Stacy Keach was sitting at her desk when her office door opened, and Natasha walked inside. Stacy looked up, genuinely surprised to see her. Natasha stopped in front of the desk and sighed, then put the magazine down on the desktop. Stacy looked at the magazine, then looked up at Natasha.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"You wrote this, right?" Nat asked.

"I did."

"Was it a poll? Did you put a poll online and ask random people to decide?" Nat asked, "Why was I the role model you picked? Why would you choose me? Don't you have any idea how bad things have been for me lately? Now you're out here telling people that I'm someone they should look up to, to strive to be, when my entire career has been based around telling people to be themselves and not be me?"

Stacy listened, then leaned back in her chair and nodded.

"I went to your live show," she said, "the one you did last year? It took me by surprise just how adamant you were that people not listen to you, but instead listen to themselves. That's generally not something a self help person says to their followers. In fact, the entire concept of the modern day self help guru is to keep people invested in constantly thinking there's something about them that needs to be fixed so they keep giving you money to help them fix it."

Nat exhaled, furrowing her brow, confused at where this was going.

"but that's not what you did. Instead, you told people that they should be the best them they could be, no try and be the best imitation of you they could be. And you're right. You're a mess, it's clear to anyone that you're a mess and nobody should be trying to imitate you. That's just going to make them a mess too. Your entire business plan is built on the idea that you genuinely want people to better themselves, not stay just broken enough so they need you to get better."

Stacy pulled the magazine towards her and tapped on it with her perfectly manicured nails, smiling warmly.

"...that's why I picked you. And it was me, personally. Not a poll. Not an online question. Nothing from social media. Me, specifically. I picked you. Because I was so genuinely impressed not only by your absolute desire to not be famous but also your absolute desire to ensure others choose themselves over you. That's just not a level of honesty one often sees in the media, especially not from people in your line of work. I guess more than anything you're the local role model of the year because you helped inspire me to stop thinking I needed others to get better, when really I just needed to listen to myself."

Nat slumped a bit, the anger now gone, replaced with cautious gratefulness. Her eyes were watery, and she wiped them on her arm.

"...thank you," she whispered, without looking at Stacy, "thank you. I...I needed to hear that."

"I do wanna ask you thought," Stacy said, "...why don't you ever listen to yourself? I mean, you make such a big deal about people knowing their own needs, but why don't you do that very thing too? Do you ever listen to your own needs? Or do you just...ignore how you feel and instead be what everyone thinks you are?"

Nat felt like she'd had the wind knocked out of her. In 2 minutes flat she'd had herself explained to her by someone she'd never met, and it blew her away. Stacy had a point. She'd been ignoring how she felt. She'd spent this entire summer worrying about everyone else, specifically about her daughter, that she'd never once taken into consideration just how burnt out and worn down she felt herself. When Sharla tried to cheer her up, she took her up on the offer, because it's what she assumed she was supposed to do. When Ashley wanted to meet with her, she did it because she assumed it was her duty to repair their damaged sisterhood. She'd never once, not one single time, stopped and wondered...

...is this what I wanna do? What do I wanna do?

Natasha stood back up straight and turned, heading towards the door.

"Miss Simple?" Stacy asked, "Where are you going?"

"...I don't know," she said, "anywhere else."

And she exited.
Published on

Zoe was lying in her bed, staring at the wall.


She hadn't gotten up in hours. She'd barely been out of her room since the incident at the zoo. She hadn't gotten a call from anyone either. Allie had never bothered to check up on her, and that hurt most of all somehow. She wiped her eyes on her sweater sleeve when the bedroom door opened and Molly walked in. She sat on the bed and sighed.


"Okay sadpants, this has to stop," she said, "You've been moping in here for like two days, this can't go on. You're starting to bum me out. I made breakfast, do you want breakfast? It's pancakes. Fluffy and syrupy and-"


Zoe started crying, and Molly sighed. She rubbed Zoe's back and nodded.


"I'm sorry," Molly said, "I'm trying to be a good friend, and all I'm doing is invading on you. It just hurts to see you like this. I could call Effie. Would you like her to come over? She'd probably be better at cheering you up then I could be. What can I do for you?"


Zoe shrugged.


"I don't...I don't think there's anything...anyone can do," she managed to say.


Molly sat there, with her friend, in silence. She wanted to help, but she knew there was only so much she could do. Sure, she was part of this situation now, she was included in Allie and Zoe's problems, she'd become more than an accessory, but whatever was going on here was primarily between the two of them, and that wasn't something Molly was involved in. She was beginning to hate Allie for making Zoe feel this way this consistently it seemed. She was beginning to question her loyalty to the group.


                                                                         ***


Allie awoke in a hospital bed.


She was lying there, in silence, staring up at the ceiling. She wasn't even sure if she was all that badly hurt, and all that really mattered was that it had worked. She rolled onto her side and realized her hip was in agonizing pain. She groaned, bit her lip and almost cried when she heard a voice in the room with her.


"You get used to the pain," it said.


Allie's eyes widened and she rolled back onto her back and glanced at the curtain hanging between her bed and another.


"Do...do you?" she asked.


"Yeah," the voice said, "you have to. It becomes a part of you. That's what my doctor told me. He says it eventually becomes a part of you that you cannot ignore. Course, my situation is far worse than most peoples."


"...Jenny?" Allie asked, reaching over and pulling the curtain aside, revealing Jenny in a bed; Allie was shocked, how could she have...and then she realized...Nick must've put her in this room. He must've known she would want to talk to her. She smirked. Even after all that'd happened, he was helping her after all. Allie sat up best she could and carefully climbed out of the bed, slipping into a wheelchair and rolling to Jenny's bedside. Her face was still heavily wrapped and bandaged, and Allie felt immensely guilty.


"I didn't say anything," Jenny whispered, "I didn't say...anything to anyone. I know you didn't mean to push me in."


"I didn't, no, I didn't mean to, and I'm so sorry," Allie said, on the verge of tears, "oh god, Jenny, I am so so sorry. I just...I panicked, and I....you didn't deserve this. Please forgive me, please."


"I just wanted to be your friend," Jenny said quietly, "I wanted to be included in your life because I..."


Jenny went quiet and looked away, embarrassed. Allie raised an eyebrow as she reached out and took Jenny's hand in hers, squeezing it.


"What?" Allie asked.


"...I was always jealous of you and Nick," she said, "but, not because I wanted to steal him from you or anything...because I wanted to steal you from him. I wasn't there when it happened. The accident with the tiger. Your accident. But I remember the day you put him in the zoo was the first day I got to talk to you, and I was so instantly smitten and...and I tried to find ways to insert myself into your life so I could be around you more."


Allie had to admit...she hadn't seen this coming. Jenny was in love with her? That took her by absolute surprise.


"I...I'm not..." Allie said, stuttering, "I'm not gay, Jenny. I mean, I admit, women are hot, but I'm not interested in them. That being said...if I were, you know, interested in them, I think you'd be a pretty good match for me, and I'm flattered that someone as nice and considerate and pretty as you would ever want anything to do with the pile of problems that is me."


Jenny smiled and squeezed Allie's hand back.


"You are my friend, Jenny," Allie whispered, "I'm sorry I never made that clear."


Jenny wanted to cry. That was all she ever wanted to hear.


                                                                            ***


"What have you got?" Chief Larson asked, sitting in the room with Agents Tropper and Siskel standing in front of him at a table. Siskel and Tropper exchanged a glance, and then Siskel cleared her throat and exhaled.


"At first, I thought we just had some kind of grisly murder," Agent Siskel said, "something that they have to call in special forces for because it's not the kind of thing the usual force deals with or knows how to handle. I wasn't wrong. We had something unique. I mean, a dead man buried in a magicians prop underneath a newly built casino? That's...that's not an everyday crime, you know?"


Tropper and Chief Larson both chuckled.


"but the more time we spent on this case, the deeper into it we got, I...I couldn't even...I can't explain it, so I'll show it," Agent Siskel said, pulling off a sheet over a large posterboard, with news clippings and photographs and red string connecting it all. Chief Larson sat forward now, genuinely interested in where this was going.


"This," Agent Siskel said, using a pointer stick to tap a photo of Allie, "is Allie Meers. She's a local magician who used to perform regularly at a casino called The Card Shark. Her employer and owner of The Card Shark is Tony Ephram. The prop we found the man buried in belonged to Meers. We know this because it's the same prop she's used before, and because the man wound up being Sunny Sykes, a local drug dealer who supplied Allie with a shitload of painkillers for years. Allie had an accident on stage one night with a tiger she had, who nearly took her arm off. The tiger in question, seen here," she now tapped a photograph of Domino, "was relocated to a private zoo, who employed a woman named Jenny Gibbons."


"...is this...going somewhere?" Chief Larson asked, "I'm sorry, excuse me if I'm wrong, but this just seems like-"


"Sir, you're wrong, and this is me excusing you," Agent Tropper said, "listen to her, it's worth it."


Chief Larson nodded, taking into consideration these agents were respected in the field, and sat back to listen once more.


"Recently Jenny fell into the tiger pit, the very same tiger pit that held Domino, Allie Meer's former tiger. The thing is, there was another part of a body in the pit when they found her. Sunny's body. See, Allie had stolen Sunny's body after we'd located it. As it turns out, the serial killer we arrested was friends with a local mortician who happened to be in her cult, and as such she turned Sunny's body over to Miss Meers as a favor. Now, when you take all of this into consideration, it just seems like a messy complicated almost comical accidental murder. Why Miss Meers killed Sunny we still don't know, honestly, and until we approach her we likely won't, but you know what we do know?"


"What do we know?" Chief Larson asked, enjoying the dramatics.


"We know that there's something much bigger here. Sunny Sykes is the son of the governor, Raymond Sykes. Raymond, as it just so happens, also has a daughter, an adopted daughter named Nicole, who works as an accountant, and primarily handles casinos. Raymond has been using casino funds to help further his career and his re-election campaigns, and in return, has been giving the casinos a break on taxes. He's doing this by funneling the money through falsified tax shelters he created under Nicole's name, and because she's adopted, they have different last names, so it doesn't look suspicious."


Now she had Chief Larson's attention. He was sitting upright, truly entranced, jaw slightly ajar.


"What we have here, sir, is a major tax cheat and a government scandal, all tied to one woman," Agent Siskel said, tapping Allie's photo once again, "Allie Meers. But we can't get to Miss Meers. That's the thing. She's always one step ahead. Thanks to her friendship with Claire, her relationship to Jenny, she has this protective circle around her. But you know who doesn't? Nicole Sykes. And that's where we hit. If we get Nicole to turn states evidence against her father, we can then track the money down to specific casinos, and I'm willing to bet you a thousand to one that the very casino Allie works for is involved."


Chief Larson finally sat back and adjusted his tie. He exhaled and ran his hand through his thinning white hair.


"...this is insane," he said, "I...I want you to take her down. Good work, guys. Great work. Let's get this son of a bitch."


"We'll need proper authority of course in order to move in on Nicole, as you-" Tropper started, but Larson stopped him.


"Yeah, you have it, I'll sign over some paperwork to a judge today, you can approach her within the next 24 hours," Larson said, standing up and shaking Agent Tropper and then Agent Siskel's hands, smiling as he said, "Great work Rebecca. I'll personally see that you're rewarded for this."


Chief Larson turned and exited the room, and Agent Siskel started screaming and jumping up and down. Tropper laughed, watching his friend. She couldn't believe her luck. After weeks of frustration, of failures, of setbacks, of success always being within an inch of her grasp and then sudden;y snatched away, she'd done it, she'd won. She turned and looked at Roger, then hugged him harder than she'd ever hugged anyone else before.


"Thank you for believing in me," she said quietly.


"Hey, I know a good agent when I see one," he replied, laughing.


"Let's finish this, man," Agent Siskel said, the two of them high fiving.


                                                                        ***


Allie was lying in bed, reading a magazine when the door opened and Zoe, of all people, entered the room. Allie smiled, happy to see her, and put her magazine down. Zoe pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed.


"Hey," Allie said, "I'm glad you're here."


"Watcha readin'?" Zoe asked.


"Uh, Guns and Ammo," Allie said, "which is...surprising literature for a hospital to have, but whatever."


They both laughed and Zoe rubbed her arm self consciously.


"I wanna apologize," Zoe started.


"No, please, I'm the one who needs to apologize. I put everyone in harms way. Jenny's in the bed beside me, and she...she's forgiven me, and she knows I didn't mean to do it, and that I just panicked, but Zoe...you're the last person I ever wanted to drag into shit like this. I thought I was doing a good thing. The right thing. Ridding the world of someone who was just going to try and hurt and use you, and then I myself hurt and use you, and Sunny didn't deserve to die. I know that now. He might've dealed drugs but that doesn't make him a bad person. As a former drug addict, we're people too, we deserve kindness."


"...I don't think I should work a while," Zoe whispered, "um...so if it's okay to put the show on hold for a bit, that'd be great. I think I just need some time to myself, and maybe spend some time with Effie and, you know, just relax and take a break from all this stuff."


"Understandable. Well, I'm apparently damaged goods now, my hip is absolutely wrecked, so it'll be a while before I can perform again anyway, so sure, take all the time you need, have a nice time," Allie said, "...Zoe, can I ask you a question?"


"Yeah, of course," Zoe said, finally looking Allie in the face again.


"...you still like me, right? We're still friends?"


"Of course!" Zoe said, leaning in and hugging Allie, "I was mad, I was furious, but I'm just as big a part of this as you are, and you're right, we can't split up, we're in this together, and we need to be friends. You're still my best friend, Allie."


Allie wanted to cry. Her entire life all she'd ever wanted, just like Zoe, was someone to be there for her like this. Unconditionally and without question. Sure, this was maybe the most fucked up way imaginable to finally get that, but you work with what you got she figured. She patted Zoe on the back and laughed, the both of them almost crying on eachother. From the other side of the curtain, Jenny wasn't asleep, and she could hear this entire thing. She smiled, happy to know her friends were happy once again.


                                                                           ***


"They're following me," Nicole said, sitting in her fathers den, sipping scotch.


"You think they know?" he asked, stoking the fire.


"I don't know what to think," Nicole replied, "all I know is I'm paranoid and stressed out and this is all goddamned Sunny's fault. If he hadn't gotten himself killed none of this would be happening."


"This is your fault, Nicole," Raymond said, turning to face her, "you should've kept him in check. Should've kept closer tabs on him. Who his friends were. Who he dealt to. Now we're dealing with the fallout from your failure. You're the one who'll pay, not me."


Nicole couldn't believe her ears. She gripped the couch with her free hand in absolute fury, but she kept her mouth shut. She knew better than to mouth off to the man.


"My son is dead and it's your fault, not the fault of whoever killed him. I adopted you because my wife wanted a daughter, and you're an intelligent woman, so it boggles the mind how you could've allowed this sort of thing to happen. Everything we've worked for, everything we've built, now at the possibility of coming undone all because you couldn't control him."


"You couldn't either," she finally said through gritted teeth, "you're his father, you're the one who should've been more in control," she stood up and approached him, glaring in his eyes, "why did all the dirty work always come down to me? I never asked to be involved in this, I just wanted to have a normal life, but you forced me into this line of work and then forced me to work with you. You're a monster and he had every reason and every right to want to drug himself into oblivion to escape you."


Raymond sneered and smacked her across the face, taking her by surprise. It'd been years since he'd hit her. She was sort of in shock, honestly. The den door opened and they both regained their composure as his wife, Shirley, entered.


"Everything okay?" she asked.


"I'm just leaving," Nicole said, smiling as she walked to her, grabbing her purse from the couch and giving her a goodbye hug, "Goodnight mom. Call me tomorrow okay?"


Nicole was out of the house in a flash. When she got into her car, she started it, then drove a few blocks away and parked again, screaming at the top of her lungs. She wanted to see Raymond take the fall. She didn't want to be involved in this anymore. She'd already lost the man she loved, what more did she care about? Her career? Her career was a joke, something decided on by her father, not something she had genuine interest in. She reached over and pulled open the glovebox, looking at the shiny black pistol she kept inside. She reached in and pulled it out, holding it gently. She looked at herself in the rearview mirror as she lifted the pistol barrel to the side of her head and held back tears.


No.


This was what he'd want. She'd be giving him exactly what he'd want. He wanted her gone. He wanted her to take the blame. She couldn't give him that satisfaction. She needed to stay alive. She grimaced and put the pistol back into the glovebox, then shut it and started the car up again. She needed to stay alive long enough to see him backed into a corner. She wouldn't pay for his crimes, but she'd make damn sure he would.


                                                                         ***


The hospital room door opened once again and this time Nick entered, surprising Allie. Her eyes lit up at his smile as he walked inside and sat down in the same chair Zoe had been seated in earlier. Allie scooted up and twinged from the pain in her hip.


"You just get off work?" she asked.


"Yeah, and I don't even have to go home to see you now, talk about convenience," he said, making her laugh as he pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and handed them to her, taking her by surprise as he added, "I'm sorry about what I said the other day. You're not poison, Allie. That was mean of me. I love you."


Allie wanted to cry again. She hadn't expected Nick of all people to come back to her. She took the flowers and pushed her nose into them, whimpering.


"...but I am kinda poison," she said softly.


"Then I guess that makes me suicidal," Nick said, smirking.


"I wouldn't say that too loudly if I were you, I think we're in a hospital," she replied, making him laugh. He leaned in and, one hand on her shoulder, the other gently placed behind her head, kissed her longingly. Allie knew she was so lucky to have him, and so grateful he was still here even after the Jenny incident. The past few weeks had been so awful, all she wanted to do right now was live in this moment forever. But as she knew all too well, the good moments never last long.


And eventually the ugly rears its head once more.

Published on
"Okay," Sharla said, entering the bedroom, "this is sad. This can't go on. There's headcases and then there's you, and I'm sorry but I refuse to have someone as unglued as you be my friend as it reflects poorly on me so someone needs to bring you back up and I guess that's up to me."

"Wow," Nat said, lying in bed in shorts and a tank top, "You should be a motivational speaker. I feel so much better now."

"Get up," Sharla said, walking further in and gathering clothes from the floor, loading them into a nearby hamper, then opening the closet and digging through things, "We're going out. We're going to get you an outfit, and Jay and I are gonna take you out to get your mind off things. It's been weeks since Violet moved out, and I know it hurts, but this cannot go on."

"Why can't it?"

"Because you're depressing everyone."

"Oh, okay," Nat said, "I get it now."

"Get in the shower, do your hair, your makeup, I'll find you a-"

"I'm not showering, I'm not dirty, I'm just lazy and unkempt," Natasha replied, "and I don't need makeup and my hair is fine. And if you're gonna drag me out of the house against my will, then I'm wearing whatever I want so I want sweatpants and a lose t-shirt with a horrible logo on it."

"Sweetheart, no," Sharla said, looking back at her from the closet over her shoulder, "I'm sorry, but I can't let you go out like that. If you were terminally ill and really had nothing to live for anymore, that'd be one thing, but no. This is just a bump in the ride. You'll get past this."

Nat had trouble hiding her appreciation for Sharla's dry wit, but she tried her best as she climbed off the bed and headed into the bathroom. If nothing else, she'd wash her face, comb her hair and put on some eyeliner. She had always liked the way eyeliner looked on her. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she could swear she saw her mothers face staring back at her for a moment, and it terrified her. She wasn't that old. Not that getting old bothered her in the slightest, but if there was one person she never wanted to resemble, it was her own mom.

Especially not this young in life.

                                                                                              ***

"Nice space," Ashley said as she entered Corrine's workshop at the studio, "It's lovely, and open, yeah, you can do a lot with this. Or rather I can do a lot with this."

She entered further and tossed her purse down on the couch, then walked around the room, looking at it. Corrine stood nervously by her editing equipment, trying not to watch, but enamored all the same. Ashley stopped, hands on her hips, nodding at what she saw.

"This has potential," she said, "We could make this a pseudo live in studio. That way you won't have to stay at home all the time. We could put a little homey nook in here with a little basic frame bed and all sorts of stuff. That way you can stay and work but also live comfortably. Do you feel like you're taking advantage of my sister, staying with her? Is that why you asked for my help?"

"I...I don't know, I feel weird I guess, sure," Corrine said, "Like...I've never lived with someone and had it be a positive experience, you know? So for her to treat me well, yeah, it does feel odd. But also I like being alone, and I like working, so I'd prefer to stay here sometimes. Especially with the way she's been lately since Violet let...oof."

Ashley nodded, pursing her lips. She walked back to Corrine and, pushing some of her bangs from her eyes, looked at her dead on.

"Violet misses her mom, like, a hell of a lot," Ashley said softly, "she won't openly admit it, exactly, but it's obvious, and I've heard her say things to Stephen that are almost outright acknowledgement, so. We've tried to convince her to go home, but she's so angry. The thing is, I don't even think she's angry at her exactly, I think she's just angry in general. The world dealt her a shitty hand in every other aspect except her mother, and she has every right to be angry. That friend of hers...uh..."

"Courtney?"

"Yeah, her, thanks...she comes over from time to time and you can tell Violet is oddly jealous of her. Courtney gets to live a so called ordinary teenage life, and Violet isn't allowed that, and she's aware of it. I think it's the recognition of her limitations that bother her far more than the limitations themselves. That she's aware of what she cannot do. If she was so slow that she couldn't be aware of it, I think somehow that'd make her happier, but she isn't and she is and that fucks her up."i
"...are you a psychologist?" Corrine asked, "Cause boy I could use some therapy."

Ashley threw her head back and laughed loudly, shaking her head, one hand on her collarbones.

"No, no, I just...I know what it's like, you know? To be hyper aware of what society considers your flaws and whatnot. I..." she started, then stopped, then walked to the couch and sat down, sighing as she continued, "...oh boy. One of the reasons I agreed to help you with this was because I felt like I could relate to you, because I've felt weird about Stephen and myself ever since my health got better, and it's bothering me."

"Why's it bothering you?" Corrine asked, sitting down beside her.

"When I got sick, you know, I was...I hate to admit it but I was sort of there for the taking, if you know what I mean. I was desperate. Willing. I needed someone to care about me. Stephen gave me that. But that love wasn't really returned in earnest, because what I needed was to know someone cared before I died, but then I didn't die, and now I feel guilty about trapping him like this because...being so close to death makes you reassess who you thought you were as a person, like, on a fundamental level, you know?"

"Can't say I do, never been that close to death, but please go on," Corrine said, making Ashley chuckle.

"Well, it does, and analyzing our relationship during illness vs after illness has made me acutely aware of a few revelatory things," Ashley said, "the first of which is that Stephen likes damaged women. He and Nat met during a rough time in her life where she was struggling to find something to do with her life and wasn't getting along with our folks. Then he came to me when I got sick and she didn't need him the way she once did. He likes damaged women. I don't think it's intentional, nor do I think he knows it, but it's true. And he's not taking advantage of anyone. He likes to feel needed, and to help. It's all coming from a good place, I can tell, but it doesn't change the fact that that's the kind of woman he pursues, not out of genuine love but out of a necessity."

"...I think I know what you mean," Corrine said, "I got dumped this summer, by a longtime partner, and it...it fucked me up, but it made me realize that she was too under the thumb of her own mother, and she would never be in a happy relationship unless she broke free of that."

"Right, exactly, you get it. These flaws, they need to be broken and rebuilt," Ashley said, "but Stephen's only half the issue here, because I'm also to blame. I looked to someone familiar for comfort, not for something else I really needed. All you've heard so far is Natasha's side of the story and, let's face facts, she has every right to be angry but it isn't the whole picture as you're not brutally aware."

Ashley sighed and looked down at her hands in her laps, her perfectly manicured french tip nails.

"...I decorate because it helps me retain a sense of control," she said, "same reason Nat does what she does. When you grow up in a household that takes control of any kind away from you, you sort of fight to keep what little control you eventually get back. When I was sick, when I was spending a lot of time at the hospital, I started talking with this nurse. Around the time I got better, I didn't need to go anymore, and I missed talking to her. I started noticing things I'd never noticed. I started noticing people I'd never noticed. Checkout girls and waitresses. Stephen and I would be out somewhere for dinner, and I couldn't help but coyly flirt with the woman taking our drink orders. Compulsory heterosexuality is hell. See, the thing is, Nat fought to find herself because our folks so badly wanted us to be like them. They weren't bad parents, they just...were controlling, you know? I don't know how to explain it. They weren't abusive. They just had very rigid ideals for us and we failed to live up to them. So Nat railed against it all and she fought to discover who she was. I didn't have that kind of bravery. I stuck the path. I tried to be perfect for them."

Corrine's breath felt caught in her chest, her hands sweaty. This was not what she'd expected when she'd invited Ashley over to help figure out redesigns for her work space.

"...that's why I turned to Stephen. Compulsory heterosexuality mixed with fear of death mixed with the need for familiarity. It was a whole jumbled mess of garbage, and...and I was terrified, man, I was so scared. Now I'm scared for other reasons."

"What makes you scared now?" Corrine asked.

"You."

The room was dead quiet. Corrine swore she could hear her own heartbeat.

"I...I scare you?" she asked, almost laughing.

"When you came into my house the other week with my sisters," Ashley said, turning to face her more, "I was instantly attracted to you. That's why I liked that you stayed behind to help clean up, so we could talk more. That's why I took this opportunity to come meet with you, because I wanted so badly to see you again."

Corrine didn't know what to say. This had been one hell of a summer. Her longtime partner had dumped her rather unceremoniously and now she was being confessed to by the estranged sister of her boss. What a life she led now.

"I'm sorry, I understand if this is awkward, I just-"

"No, I...I feel the same way," Corrine said, forcing the words out of her, "I found you really attractive immediately, but because of my professional relationship with Natasha, I wasn't sure if-"

"Natasha has built her entire career out of telling people to do what they have to in order to be happy," Ashley whispered, reaching forward and touching Corrine's face, making her turn sheet white, "...don't you wanna do what you have to in order to be happy? Cause I sure do."

Corrine didn't know how what happened next actually happened. She would try to recall it later, but it all seemed so jumbled. She could vaguely remember Ashley leaning in and pressing her lips against hers, pushing her onto her back and climbing on top of her, kissing her more passionately and yet so gently than she'd ever been kissed before. And she could vaguely remember not stopping her or complaining once, because this was all she wanted right now. To hell with it, she thought afterwards, we'll decorate the room another day.

                                                                                           ***

"There is nothing worse to me than being a non alcohol consuming person in a bar," Sharla said, as she, Nat and Jay sat at a table together and ate snacks and drank drinks. Jay chuckled at this statement, and even Nat cracked a smile; Sharla continued, "I just don't drink, I'm too health conscious and I hate the taste of it anyway, and yet everytime I go on dates, or just go out for fun, some dickhead has to push alcohol on me. 'Just try it! It's fun!', like, yeah, so is a root canal."

"Jesus," Jay muttered, laughing as he and Natasha ate from the same basket of nachos.

"It is exhausting, the social exhibition one has to endure in order to participate," Nat said, "that's why I never thought it was worth it. Find one or two good friends and ignore everyone else. Don't get sucked into that world of unnecessary societal norms. Just be who you are with who you want and be happy."

"Has that worked well for you?" Sharla asked.

"Well, when I finally find those two people, I'll let you know," Nat said, all three of them laughing now.

Natasha was thankful Sharla had dragged her out of the house. She'd been working nonstop lately, and she'd been so upset about Violet, so she was, in hindsight, grateful to her friends, not that she'd ever admit it outright. She was much too prideful for that sort of display of appreciation. But she didn't need to anyway, Jay and Sharla knew.

And while Nat was having a good time, unbeknownst to her her own daughter was doing the same thing. She was with Courtney and her lifeguard boyfriend at a nearby bowling alley, actually enjoying being sociable for a change. Both Simple girls were having a great time, and neither one knew the other one was doing so. If Nat could've seen her daughter, she would've realized how alike they truly were, and how proud she was of her for coming as for as she had.

The Simple girls - Violet, Nat, Noreen and Ashley - had been through a lot in life, but the funny thing is, they all came out the other end relatively unscathed.

There's something to be said about just being yourself, Nat thought.
Published on

The ambulance screamed through the street, rushing to its predetermined destination. Her consciousness was fading in and out, everything was muffled and fuzzy, but she knew they were doing what they could for her. When they finally arrived, she was wheeled out on a gurney immediately into the ER. Her case was one that couldn't wait. She'd suffered enough as it was, and this was time sensitive. She heard the machines around her, the doctors talking frantically. She heard words like "skin grafting" and "serious reconstructive surgery". She was in and out of consciousness for hours, and when she finally managed to regain some sense of reality, she found she was laying in bed, hooked up to various machines. She hurt all over. She had no idea what was happening.


"You're lucky to be alive," a nurse said beside her, surprising her; the nurse changed out a bedpan and looked at her, smiling, "seriously, it's not everyone who survives getting mauled by a tiger."


                                                                           ***


Allie brought the truck to a screeching halt.


She turned the car off and she sat there, listening to Zoe hyperventilate in the passenger seat, while she stared dead ahead out the windshield. The entire experience had taken their evening, and Allie had just driven until the sun was barely up. Now, parked in some unknown neighborhood somewhere in Vegas, Allie couldn't make heads or tails of what day it was or even what time it was. Sometime early in the morning, she knew that much.


"...you...you left her there..." Zoe whispered, her eyes bloodshot from the crying, her voice hoarse from the screaming.


"...I...I didn't...I didn't know what to do," Allie replied, also barely speaking, "I couldn't just go into the pit, I would've put us at risk, he could've gotten out. I'm not a trained animal controller."


"...you pushed her in, and then you left her there..."


"I did not push her in," Allie said through gritted teeth, "that was an accident!"


"How come everything that happens to everyone as a result of being in your presence is an accident?!" Zoe screamed, "First Sunny, now this?! You chose to do these things, those aren't accidental! You pushed her in, and then you left her there!"


Allie wanted to argue, but she knew Zoe had a point. Everyone that had come into contact with her had been meeting with some grizzly end lately it seemed, and it was always her fault in some way. Allie put her head down on the steering wheel and tried not to cry. Zoe climbed out of the truck and started pacing up and down the street, the sun barely starting to peek over the treeline. Allie finally climbed out as well and watched her momentarily.


"we...we have to go to the police," Zoe said, "We can't keep hiding this anymore!"


"They'll put me in prison!"


"Then maybe you deserve to be in prison!" Zoe screamed.


"Keep your voice down!" Allie said angrily but quietly, "We are in a residential neighborhood and it is very early in the morning, don't make a scene."


Zoe walked up to Allie, their faces barely an inch apart, and she could smell her breath.


"I'm through listening to what you tell me to do," Zoe said through gritted teeth, "I was hired to help you, and you took advantage of that. You took advantage of me. Poor little innocent me, who idolized you, who'd never really had a friend, whose family had turned on her. You took total advantage of that, and you used me to justify your poor decisions. Well I'm done. We're done, Allie."


Zoe turned and started walking down the street.


"Where do you think you're going?!" Allie yelled after her.


"I'm going home, Allie!" Zoe shouted back, turning to look back at her, "I'm going home. We're done."


"We're not done! I say when we're done!" Allie shouted, "Zoe! Zoe!"


But Zoe didn't stop. She didn't look back. She just kept walking, walking away from the worst thing that had ever happened to her, and she felt good about it.


                                                                           ***


"Can I help you?" the woman at the front desk asked as Agent Siskel pulled her wallet out and flashed her badge.


"Yeah, my partner and I need to speak to someone in your facility," she said, "Jenny Gibbons, the girl who was brought in here this morning. It's urgent."


The front desk woman knew better than to deny anything to agents of this caliber, so she nodded and silently led them down the hall. Tropper caught up, walking alongside Siskel, as the three of them headed towards Jenny's room in total silence. After they arrived, the nurse turned back and looked at them sternly.


"Don't be too demanding of her, she's been through hell, and please try not to take too long, she needs a lot of rest," she said, then sat down on a chair outside the door, "I'll be here when you're done."


Siskel and Tropped nodded, then entered the room. It was dark, and eerily silent. The walked to the bed and pulled back the curtain to reveal Jenny laying in the bed, her face wrapped in gauze. Her eyes were shut, and she appeared to be heavily drugged. Siskel pulled up a chair and sat down, leaving Tropper to stand behind her. After a moment, Siskel took a deep breath, and then gently reached over and nudged Jenny's shoulder, waking her.


"Mmm?" Jenny asked, slowly rolling her head to face the agents.


"Hello," Agent Siskel said, "I'm Rebecca Siskel, this is my partner Roger Tropper, we're with the local FBI division of the Vegas police force. We know you've been through a hell of an ordeal, and we don't wanna make things complicated or difficult right now for you, after what's happened, but we need to ask you some questions regarding Allie Meers."


That got Jenny's attention, as her eyes widened.


"What about her?" she asked, realizing that it hurt to speak.


"We know the tiger belonged to her, we're just wondering what your relationship to Miss Meers was. We need to know everything you might know about her," Agent Siskel said, "Anything you can tell us would really help in the long run."


Jenny thought for a moment, then smiled.


"I don't know anything about Allie," she said, "I just worked there."


Jenny was a lot of things, but she wasn't a narc.


                                                                           ***


Allie walked into the loft and threw her jacket onto the couch, before noticing Nick standing in the living room area. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were squinty, like he was thinking about what to say to her. For a moment, neither one said a thing, and then finally Allie walked into the living room and pushed herself into his chest, but he merely pulled away.


"please don't," she whispered, trying to get up close again but he pulled away again.


"It's all over the news," Nick said, "what happened? What did you do to her?"


"It was an accident," she whispered, on the verge of tears, "I just wanted to see him, it was an accident."


"You didn't call anyone, you didn't do anything, you just left here there, Allie. I...I thought that maybe, you know, things would be different. You were doing so well. You're sober, you're financially stable again, and yet here you are, self inflicting damage on not just you but those around you. Those who trusted you. I trusted you."


"you can still trust me," Allie mumbled.


"Can I?" Nick asked, "I have work today. I can't deal with this right now. I'll see her at the hospital when I get there, see for myself how she is, what she has to say."


Nick pulled on his jacket from the coat rack by the door and then opened the door. He sighed and looked back at Allie, who wouldn't look up from the floor at him. He scratched the back of his head.


"You know, you're the most beautiful person I've ever known. You're intoxicating, honestly. Your charisma and charm, your sense of humor, it lures people in, but that's just the thing, Allie, you're like a deadly plant. You look great from afar, even seem greater up close, but once you stick around long enough...it starts to slowly poison you. I don't wanna be poisoned anymore," Nick said, "...I'll call you."


And with that he left. Allie finally let herself break, now that she was alone. She collapsed onto the couch and sobbed, screaming into her pillows. In just a few short hours, she'd lost Zoe, now Nick, and had left Jenny for dead. It was all coming unraveled. Sure, Sunny's body was essentially gone, and that helped ease the pain, knowing the core piece of evidence was now destroyed, but it didn't ease the pain of everything else. She rolled onto her side, her eyes landing on the liquor cabinet. She climbed off and approached it, kneeling, fiddling with the lock.


She'd tried so hard, and it all still came undone, so what harm did alcohol really do in the end? She'd been sober for almost a year, and it didn't seem to make any difference whatsoever.


When she got the lock off, and the chains unspooled, she pulled the doors open and looked inside at all the various booze she had in there. She couldn't bring herself to throw it away, so she merely locked it away, kept it for only serious special occasions. Well, what was a more special occasion than your life imploding, she thought? She reached inside and pulled out an entire unopened bottle of whiskey and sighed, staring at the twist off lid.


All it took was one sip, she knew, one sip and she'd throw all her progress away. Was it worth it?


                                                                          ***


"You gonna finish your fries?" Agent Tropper asked as he sat across from Agent Siskel at a burger place nearby the hospital. Agent Siskel shrugged, so Tropper helped himself, reaching across the table and grabbing a handful of her fries.


"I don't...understand," Siskel said, her brow furrowing, "what causes that level of commitment to someone? I mean, Allie and Claire, they both manage to get people to do everything for them, to follow them, to never question. What causes that level of adoration? Is it just being a good enough liar?"


"People wanna be led, Becky," Tropper said, "they don't wanna face up to their own lives, they wanna feel like a bigger part of something. It's not complicated. It's why so many people vote for leaders who have their worst interests at heart. They don't really care, so long as someone is telling them things they want to hear, even if they're doing the opposite."


Siskel sighed and took a sip from her drink, shaking her head. It seemed like no matter what she did, she couldn't win. She couldn't find a break.


"Every single time, Roger, every single time I feel like I've got it, every single time it's within arms reach, she finds a way to pull it away from me again," Siskel said, "I don't know how she does it."


"She's a magician," Tropper said, taking a bite from his burger and chewing, pushing errant lettuce into his mouth, "they're really good at making things disappear."


Siskel nodded, but not really accepting his reasoning. She sighed and rubbed her eyes with the balls of her palms, groaning. She hadn't been sleeping well ever since getting this case, and as things had gotten worse, so had her sleep.


"How do you trick a magician?" Siskel asked, "That's the question. If you can't catch them in the act, if you can't get someone to divulge their secrets, then how do you trick a magician?"


Tropper looked up, seeing Siskel smirking.


"If we can answer that, we might be able to save this," she said.


                                                                          ***


Nick pushed the door open gently and entered Jenny's room. He felt his heart hurt at the sight of this poor, sweet girl lying in this bed, her face so badly mangled that she had to have it covered. He walked in further and sat down in a chair beside the bed, not knowing whether or not she was awake, but also not caring. He needed to see her regardless of whether she was aware of his presence. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.


"I'm so sorry," he said, "I don't...I don't know what else I could possibly say. I just know someone has to say it to you, and she never will. She can never take responsibility for her actions. She's somehow never to blame. I thought she'd changed, but I guess she's the same, she just got better at lying. Never trust a magician in a relationship, I guess."


Jenny stirred, but she didn't wake up or speak.


"You don't deserve this," Nick said, "and I wanna go to the cops, but I know you'd hate me if I did that. I know how much you like her. I don't wanna put you through anything else right now, while you're trying to recover. That isn't fair to you. Just know that I am so so sorry Jenny. I really sincerely am."


Nick reached out and touched her arm, but again she didn't wake. He sighed, then checked his watch and stood up. He had to do his rounds, but he had to see her first. Someone had to care, he thought.


                                                                          ***


"You're in a lot of trouble," Claire said, sitting across from Allie in the visitation room, at their usual corner table, "well, potentially a lot of trouble."


"How'd you do it?" Allie asked, "How'd you get people to do whatever you wanted?"


"Wasn't hard, just had to promise them whatever they wanted, then tell them if they worked hard enough they'd eventually be given it," Claire said, shrugging, "but you gotta have people dumb enough who're willing to believe it. That's part of your problem, Meers, you're not working with idiots."


Allie sighed and leaned back in her chair, rolling her eyes.


"You look like shit, by the way," Claire said, taking a sip of her water.


"Thanks," Allie said, "...she's not dead. She's in the hospital. I need to talk to her, but I need to do it in a way that won't look suspicious. I need to know she's not going to talk. Not going to turn on me."


"Then I suggest you find a way to do that, because if you don't, you could really be facing down the barrel of the gun here," Claire said, "lemme tell you something, okay? The hardest part of what I did came down to getting them to believe their belief was their idea. You have to first convince them to listen to you, then convince them that they convinced themselves. If you can do that, Allie, then you're golden. You're an expert in magic, you figure it out."


Allie thought, and then it hit her like a mac truck. A way to get into the hospital without it ever seeming suspicious, and the answer would be obvious to anyone. After she left the prison, she climbed into her car, then pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the street. She reached a red light of a busy street, then exhaled and pulled open the glove compartment, reaching inside and grabbing a bottle of pills and an airline bottle of alcohol. She drank the alcohol, then took a handful of pills, then shook her head to regain composure before exhaling and staring straight ahead at the parked car across the street. She had to do whatever it took to save herself, to save Zoe, and Molly and everyone else. This was going to hurt, but it was a necessity. So Allie steeled her nerves, put her foot on the gas...


...and sped across high traffic until she collided with the parked car.

Published on

"When you're removed from it all, the universe can look like a beautiful place," Polaris said, leaning against the wall outside the shop, smoking a cigar while Chelsea puffed on a cigarette; he added, "it's only when you're in the thick of it, when things are rough, that the world seems awful. But when you escape all the noise, the unnecessary clutter...that's when you see the universe for what it truly is. A magnificent mistake, a miracle of accidents, and it's glorious."


"...you sure have a weird way of stating positives," Chelsea said.


"You know, Chelsea, just because you work here part time and live somewhere else doesn't mean you don't belong," Polaris said, "...this place, the Elsewhere, this is where people like you do belong. This is where you matter most. Not in a place where nothing matters, but a place where everything, most of all yourself, matters greatly."


Chelsea wanted to cry. She'd never been told these sorts of things before, and she was so appreciative.


Maybe she'd take a smoke break more often.


"My parents hate me," Chelsea said, "they act like they don't, because society says you have to love your children, so they put on this facade, but I know they do. They blame me for what happened to my sister. They think I'm useless, worthless, not capable of being on my own. But if being here has taught me anything, it's that their opinion is worth less than a monsters. These creatures in this place, they all think I'm super cool. Since working at Last Shop on the Left, I've helped a ghost girl accept her death, helped raise a little creature, gotten a girlfriend, helped an ancient being openly acknowledge his affection for his long deceased wife. This is a place of beauty and hope and love. The world isn't that."


"The world can be that," Polaris said.


"You just spent ten minutes extolling the virtues of the Elsewhere by putting down my dimension, now you say my dimension CAN be good?"


"Just because it's worse doesn't mean it's without merit. There's plenty of things your home can be or have," Polaris said, "...it's just harder to see them through the haze of bullshit. And the Elsewhere isn't perfect, hell if anything it's way more dangerous, but it's honest about it. The problem with where you're from is that it isn't honest. It pretends everything is okay, that the horrors don't exist, whereas we're just blatant about them from the get go. We recognize, accept and adapt to the horrors, not brush them under the carpet."


Chelsea nodded. She hadn't considered that. She looked out at the semi lively night life on the street and smiled. Monsters and creatures walking past, humanoid or otherwise, enjoying themselves but knowing that they could die at any moment, or that everything could change in an instant. There was some kind of odd recognition in that realization that she appreciated.


"Hey," Xorlack said, coming up to them, "What're you guys doing out here?"


"We're on smoke break," Chelsea said, "Well, I'm on smoke break, he's just keeping me company."


"Not very busy tonight I guess?" Xorlack asked, and Chelsea shook her head.


"Nah, that's why this is fine."


"What're you talking about?"


"The inevitability of unhappiness no matter what location you preside in," Polaris said as Chelsea handed Xorlack her cigarette for her to take a puff from.


"Boy, you're a big ball of sunshine, ain'tcha," Xorlack said before inhaling, making Chelsea chuckle.


"You're from here," Chelsea said, looking at her, "do you like it? Do you think the Elsewhere is a good place to be?"


Xorlack took a moment, a few moments in fact, exhaling smoke and thinking before finally answering. After a bit, she nodded.


"Yeah, yeah I do," she said, "Don't get me wrong, it can be nasty here, but at least it's upfront about it, you know? The few times I've been with you back to your dimension, it's all felt so...so fake? You know? So insincere. Like it's better to pretend the ugliness and brute cruelty doesn't exist rather than face the fact that it does head on. I don't know, that seems worse to me."


Chelsea nodded. Xorlack and Polaris made good points, and she wasn't even sure why she was defending home to begin with. It wasn't like home was ever really good to her. If anything, it'd been so bad, it'd driven her to be in a place like this preferably over it.


"There's depth to everything," Polaris said, inhaling his cigar, "and that's half the problem. Before you see depth, you see black and white, not shades of grey. Once you recognize depth, it complicates things, and that's why so many from your dimension, Chelsea, prefer to ignore depth. They prefer the falsehood of black and white. Good vs bad. Right vs wrong. That isn't to say there isn't abject evil there. Xenophobia, racism, classism, sexism, homophobia, you know. Those things are outright hurtful and don't deserve a place among the discussion. But there's shades of grey to so many other things that people adamantly believe to be objectively right or wrong, and they refuse to compromise or, even worse, recognize the possibility of a compromise."


"...you're not wrong, and much as I love having a philosophical debate, I can't argue because I have nothing to defend," Chelsea said, "home is terrible, this place is terrible, but at least it's honest and upfront about it, and that's preferable to the alternative."


Chelsea's watch beeped, and she sighed. She had something to attend today at home, but she couldn't leave work just yet. The alarm was merely a reminder anyway, not an instruction to leave immediately. She could go when she was off work.


"I think," Xorlack said, "the thing people don't realize about existence is that it can be great once they admit how fleeting it is. Too many people are far too scared to take too many chances or risks, and as a result, they lead lives of quiet desperation, wishing they could do anything different, but obsessed with the judgement from others that comes with the decision to do so."


"I mean, you're not wrong," Chelsea said, "I was always afraid to date because I didn't think I was worth it, and because I was afraid of what others would think of who I dated."


"Well, we got you over that hump, didn't we?" Xorlack asked, the both of them chuckling.


"Girls, the lesson here to take away is this," Polaris said, "beauty can be everywhere, you just have to be willing to see it. The Elsewhere is a special kind of place, where you can see things for how and what they truly are, and that in and of itself is beautiful," he said before checking his pocketwatch and sighing, "now if you'll excuse me, I have a prior engagement to get to."


With that, he put his cigar out and started to walk away. Chelsea and Xorlack exchanged a glance, then shrugged and headed inside.


"I heard your watch beep," Xorlack said, "Expecting something?"


"...today is an anniversary," Chelsea said, "of the day my sister died. Or, rather, the day I killed my sister as my parents would love to believe. I was gonna go to the cemetery, see her grave, but...ugh, I don't know, I always feel terrible doing that. I wish there was a way to see her without not seeing her, you know? Talking to a rock isn't the same as talking to the person underneath it."


"...well...Todd can create things, right? He made your uniform, he made skin for me," Xorlack said, "maybe he could...you know...create your sister, or a facsimile of some kind or something. Her but not her, you know? A representation of her, in a sense."


Chelsea had never even considered this before. She then turned and headed inside, briskly, with Xorlack on her heels. As they headed through the shop and into the back, down the hall, Chelsea felt her blood racing and her heart thumping. Would this work? Could this work? Or, perhaps most important of all...should this work? She didn't care. She just knew that she had to try. She opened the door to Todd's office and stepped inside, Xorlack right behind her. Todd glanced down at them and waved.


"Todd," Chelsea said, "I need a favor."


Todd growled in understanding.


"I need you to create my sister," she said, "or, rather, some kind of version of her."


Todd growled again, then shut his eyes as he reached down and rested a tentacle on her head. Chelsea felt a small surge of electricity course throughout her body, down her spine, and she felt lightheaded all of a sudden. When this was over, she opened her eyes and, once her vision became clear again, there, standing in front of her, was a small girl. It wasn't her sister, exactly, but it was supposed to be, she could tell. Xorlack back away and left the room, leaving Chelsea to do her thing. Chelsea approached cautiously and smiled, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.


"...is...are you..." she started, but her sister nodded, as if she already knew the question Chelsea wanted to ask. Chelsea fell to her knees and put her arms around this version of her sister - with the clear skin and the big eyes and the monstrous teeth - and she squeezed her tightly, warmly, and to her surprise, her monster sister hugged her back.


"it not your fault," the creature said softly, and Chelsea lost it. She couldn't take it anymore. She started sobbing, weeping, openly right there, letting everything she'd felt for the past few years fall to pieces in front of her. This neighborhood, Slipside, in this universe, The Elsewhere, was her home now, and she was determined to be a better sister this time around than before, no matter what the cost.


                                                                            ***


She set her sister up in the janitors closet for the time being, giving her food and drink and activity books. She watched as her monster sister colored and ate candy. She sat there and just watched, her heart so full of love.


"I'll find you a real place to stay soon," Chelsea said.


"Store best," her sister said.


"Why is the store best?"


"Closest to you."


In real life, Chelsea and Madison had never really gotten to become friends, partially because Madison hadn't lived that long, so now Chelsea was determined to be the best friend a sister could ever be.


"Maybe I'll find a place to live here, in the Elsewhere, and we can live together," Chelsea said.


"Okay," Maddy responded, yawning.


She set her coloring tools down, laid on her side on the pile of towels Chelsea had found, and Chelsea tucked her in best she could before handing her a stuffed animal she'd bought at another store down the street, where she'd gotten the coloring books. She stroked her sisters hair and watched her, waiting until she was asleep, then exited the janitors closet. She then headed back into the main storefront, only to find Luna standing there with a young girl who looked about 11.


"Oh, I didn't know you were back," Chelsea said.


"I was giving the new employee the ropes," Luna said, "You've done very well, but you need help. You need someone who can work alongside you who knows this place well. This is Juno."


"Hi," Chelsea said, holding out her hand so Juno could shake it, "I'm Chelsea."


"Hiya," Juno replied.


"Anyway, you'll be training her from now on for a bit, until she gets the hang of things," Luna said, "...it smells like Polaris. Was Polaris in here?"


"I can't stop someone from shopping here," Chelsea said, shrugging, not that she'd ever stop him anyway. She loved his friendship.


"Ugh," Luna replied, shaking her head, "I have to get to my office, I have paperwork to fill out. Chelsea, show Juno how things work, alright?"


With that settled, Luna exited through the backdoor and headed to her office. Chelsea saddled back up behind the counter as Juno hopped up to sit on the counter and the two girls sat there together, not saying a word to one another. Xorlack must've gone home, Chelsea figured, as she was no longer in the shop. Chelsea looked at Juno, who just smirked.


"You like to play cards?" Chelsea asked.


"Is that allowed?" Juno asked.


"It is when the boss ain't in the room," Chelsea said, "Besides, nobody's really coming in tonight. Might as well entertain ourselves."


Chelsea pulled out a deck of cards she kept under the counter and they started to play Go Fish. As they played, she thought about her sister, and about what Polaris had said to her. Shades of grey, complexity, nothing is black and white. Was creating a weird monster version of her sister what she should've done? Maybe not. But who cares, it's all subjective, right? Chelsea's watched beeped again, and this time she turned the alarm off. Juno looked at her wrist, then up at her face.


"What was that for?" she asked.


"Just a reminder," Chelsea said, "about something I don't have to do anymore. Got any sevens?"


"Go fish," Juno said.


And they played cards well into the night.

Published on
"She was at my wedding," Nat said, "She was right there, right next to me. She helped me get ready, she helped me plan the entire thing, she helped pick out my dress, and then she steals my husband and I'm supposed to just be okay with all of it?"

Corrine shrugged. She didn't even understand why she was going to this to begin with, nor was she interested in giving advice on something she had no experience in.

"You of all people should know what it's like to be hurt," Nat said.

"There's different levels of different hurt," Corrine replied, "what happened to me isn't what happened to you, nor should they be viewed as such. My relationship didn't end because they wanted to be with someone else, it ended for entirely different reasons. And you put all the blame on your sister, why doesn't Stephen get any of the blame?"

"He does," Natasha said, turning down a street and slowing the car down to a crawl as they approached her sisters house, "he does, I just...the thing is, Stephen's just a guy I met at some point in my life, but she was my sister, my own flesh and blood, the one person in this world I thought I could trust and depend on more than anyone else, you know? That level of betrayal from someone that close to you...it's devastating."

Corrine couldn't argue with that, at least. As the car came to a stop in front of Ashley's house, Nat turned around in her seat and looked at Noreen in the back.

"What about you?" she asked, "Got any input?"

"I've never met the woman, therefore I cannot give a detailed opinion as such. But I appreciate you giving me a ride," she said.

"You shouldn't be poisoning your own sisters mind against her other sister before she's even had a chance to meet her," Corrine said, "that isn't fair. Let her come up with her own beliefs about her from their personal interactions."

Nat scoffed, then climbed out of the car. She walked around to the back and opened the trunk, pulling out a small bag, while Noreen undid her seatbelt and looked at Corrine, who was picking something out of her teeth using the rearview mirror to see.

"Why did she bring you anyway?" Noreen asked.

"I have no idea," Corrine said, "but this should be a fun afternoon."

                                                                                               ***


Natasha and Ashley Simple had been born only two years apart.

This meant they essentially grew up as children together, and did everything together. When they were little, they didn't play with other children, only eachother, and as they got older, that bond only seemed to strengthen. They shared a bedroom until they were almost teenagers, and once they had their own bedrooms in the new house, they still preferred to spend all their time together in the same room. It was hard to keep the girls apart.

One summer, their parents separated them and sent Nat to see some relatives and sent Ash to a local summer camp. Neither went well, and neither had a good time. It wasn't until they were back home that the summer was enjoyable again for everyone. Their parents pretty quickly learned just how attached the girls were to eachother, and in the end, wound up considering themselves lucky that they had a pair of siblings who didn't hate one another.

Everything Nat had said was true, too. Ashley had helped plan the wedding, had helped pick out the dress, all of those things, and then she took Stephen away. Nat knew Stephen was partially to blame, and hell, she even knew she wasn't totally infallible, but in the end, all her ire wound up being directed primarily towards Ashley. Now Ashley wanted to have a sit down with all three sisters, clear the air and start anew, but Natasha wasn't ready to start anew. She still wanted to be angry. She wanted to be angry forever.

But that wouldn't be fair to Noreen. So she put her feelings aside and agreed to the meet up at Ashley's, if for no other reason than for Noreen to get to know her other sister, because Natasha loved her sisters, adopted or otherwise.

                                                                                                   ***

"Where's Violet?" Nat asked upon entering, handing Ashley the bag as Corrine and Noreen followed her inside.

"Stephen took her out while we're doing this," Ash said, "he didn't think she would wanna be here for this. Did you bring pastries? That's so domesticated of you."

"I'm not a wild dog, dude," Nat said.

Ash chuckled as she shut the door once the others were inside, then introduced herself.

"Hello," she said, holding her hand out to shake, "I'm Ashley."

"Corrine," Corrine said, shaking her hand, "I'm a friend of Nat's."

Ash then looked at Noreen and put a hand to her mouth.

"God," she whispered, "you look JUST like mom."

"I do?" Noreen asked, giddy.

"Yeah, she's right, you do," Nat added, "it's almost eerie."

"You have a nice place," Corrine said, shoving her hands into her coat pockets as she walked through the house, Ashley on her heels; Noreen and Nat made their way to the kitchen to make some coffee, leaving Corrine and Ashley alone.

"Thank you!" Ashley said, "I like doing interior design. It's nice to have, ya know, control over your surroundings. It starts out when you're a kid and you get to decorate your own bedroom, you know, and then it blossoms into decorating an entire house. I mean, maybe not everyone feels that way, but I sure do."

"No, I get what you mean," Corrine said, "life is so messy, so...undeniably messy that it's nice to have some kind of control in some way on some level. I never got to decorate my bedroom, actually. My parents didn't let me have a whole lot of freedom, so."

"Really? That's...sad, actually," Ash said, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I put all that energy into making myself cool instead," Corrine said, giving Ashley finger guns and making her laugh. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Natasha was getting the coffee maker to brew while Noreen was leaning against the counter and looking at all the kitchen decorations.

"She seems nice," Noreen said.

"Yeah, so do serial killers," Nat replied.

"...can I ask you a question, about...well...about your family? Our family?"

"Of course, what do you wanna know?"

"Would mom and dad like me if they met me?" Noreen asked, and Nat sighed as she too turned away from the brewing coffeemaker and leaned against the counter, folding her arms.

"...I don't know," Natasha said, "but it's nothing personal, they just...they don't really like anyone but eachother, and even then I question that. Mom and dad are weird, that was why Ashley and I got so close was because we needed someone to rely on, you know? Mom and dad were always distant and aloof. Not cruel, don't get me wrong, they weren't cold or mean or nasty or anything like that, they just...were never really parents, if that makes sense? They took care of us, they clothed us, fed us, got us a good education, but..."

Nat took a moment and chewed on her fingernails.

"...when Violet was little, like 4 or 5, you know, she'd come into the bedroom in the mornings and she'd...she'd climb into the bed with Stephen and I and she'd lay there with us. We'd all lay there. We'd do things with her, as a family. Even when she got older, like 9, we still did things with her. Took her places, introduced her to things, had specific family nights where we ordered in food and watched kids movies together, and it was always a great time. Those are the kinds of memories Ashley and I don't have with mom and dad, you know? Those memories that ensure that your parents truly enjoyed having you around."

Noreen nodded, listening closely as Nat's voice cracked a little, on the verge of tears.

"I think that's partially why I started the show, was to show others out there that someone cared about them, and that they should care about themselves too. When you have parents, but you don't have parents, it makes the world feel so much colder and empty and sad. Here are the very people who gave life to you, and yet they don't really care much for your company. Kinda hurts, you know?"

"I understand," Noreen said, "that must be why her stealing Stephen hurt so much."

"Exactly. That's what Corrine doesn't understand," Natasha said, "Ashley was my everything, even more than Stephen. She's who I told all my dreams and secrets too, she's the only person I had that resembled family in any kind of manner, and to have her do what she did, it killed me inside."

"Well, maybe today we can resuscitate the part of you that die," Noreen said, making Natasha smirk.

After a bit, Natasha and Noreen brought coffee into the living room, where Ashley and Corrine were seated, laughing and chatting. Ashley had opened the small box of pastries and set them on the coffee table. Nat and Noreen sat down and handed Ashley and Corrine their coffee, then waited for the conversation to be over. After a minute or two of wrapping up their discussion, Ashley finally turned and looked at her sisters.

"...I need to tell you right out the gate how sorry I am," Ashley said, "because...because what happened wasn't okay, and I've felt terrible about it the entire time, and a lot of times I've considered ending things between him and I just because of that but then I think how awful that'd be for him cause he wouldn't have anyone else to go back to and-"

"I don't want your apology," Nat said, interrupting, "I don't need apologies. I need explanation. I need a reason. What could've possibly possessed you to do what you did? You were my best friend, my sister, how could you-"

"I was jealous. You had a husband, a career, a child...but it wasn't strictly jealousy. Sure, I wanted part of what you had, but you were always better than me, always knew what to do with yourself and your life and how to be with others," Ashley said, "I didn't, so I had to take what you had and claim it as my own. But, like I said, that wasn't my only reason....a few weeks after your wedding, I...I started having these painful headaches. Eventually they got so bad, I had to see a doctor, but I couldn't drive there myself cause I was afraid I'd crash, so I asked Stephen to drive me. I had brain cancer."

The room was silent, as Natasha, Noreen and even Corrine sat in shock.

"...what?" Nat asked.

"I had brain cancer, and it didn't look good at first," Ashley said, "so I started drafting up a will, and making plans for what would be left when I was gone, but until then I decided I wanted just a part of what you had, since I'd never get the chance to experience it myself, so I talked to Stephen and after a while we started seeing one another. I know it's wrong, but my mindset was 'well, you'll be dead before or if it ever comes out anyway so where's the harm?'. Then I didn't die, and suddenly my homewrecking decision had lasting consequences. I tried to end things numerous times, but Stephen started telling me how you had given yourself to your job instead of him, and I think he felt left out, and things just escalated from there."

Corrine looked from Ashley to Nat, raising an eyebrow.

"So it wasn't meant to hurt you, really it wasn't, I just wanted to feel lucky enough to have just a bit of what you had, if only for a brief amount of time before I was gone," Ashley said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve while Corrine rubbed her back; Ashley continued, "I wanted to tell you so long ago, but Stephen...I don't know, he didn't want to for some reason. Stephen is so...needy."

Natasha cracked up, which surprised both Noreen and Corrine - the latter of which gave her a strange look - but Ashley laughed too, much to their surprise.

"He's got, like, emotional insecurity or something," Ash said, "like, you know how we're kinda messed up because mom and dad were distant? He's got it like ten fold."

"He really does," Nat said, "but I liked that about him, that was why we were drawn to one another, and I'm assuming it's the same for you."

"It was, yeah," Ash said, "but I realize now you're worth much more, and I can't go through my life without my sister. You have every right to hate me, and to never wanna speak to me again, but..." she glanced at Noreen and added, "I figured, with another sister, we might be able to form some kind of bond again. If Noreen is interested."

They all looked at Noreen, who smiled warmly.

"All my life," she said, "all I ever wanted was a sister. I was happy with my parents, even after they told me I was adopted. I didn't crave to know my actual parents. But I always wanted a sibling. So yeah, if you'd let me be a part of the family, I'd like to help you all rebuild it."

Things had gone surprisingly well, even if the truth shocked Nat to her core. Her own sister had come so close to death, yet had never mentioned it? She told Ash later that afternoon that she was a thousand times braver than she could ever hope to be, and just how proud of her she was. She even told Ash that she had a friend she worked with named Sharla who was a health nut who could help her take care of herself, which Ashley didn't object to.

After a while, Nat said she should take Noreen home, but Corrine offered to stay behind and help Ashley clean up. Nat said she wouldn't be so long, and she'd come back for her. Corrine helped Ashley pick up all the pastry containers, and put them into the box, then took the coffee mugs into the kitchen. As Ashley washed the mugs in the sink and Corrine put the garbage in the can, she turned and looked at Ashley.

"She seems to consider you her best friend," Ashley said, "I'm glad she was able to find someone else to fill that void."

"You think? You think I'm her best friend?" Corrine asked, "...she is letting me stay with her, and she did give me a lot of money, and she did hire me. I guess you're right. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did. I know what it's like to have someone drop you because of the opinion of another."

"Yeah, well, it won't be an issue much longer anyway," Ashley said, "Stephen and I are struggling. I think we trauma bonded, and now that the trauma is gone, the bond isn't as strong. That and..."

A pause. Corrine leaned against the counter next to Ashley and tossed her hair, looking at her.

"And what?" she asked.

"...nothing, it doesn't matter," Ashley said, checking her watch, "I can drop you off, save her a trip. I'll call her and tell her."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to," Ashley said, leaving the room to call Nat. As she watched her leave, Corrine felt at peace for the first time in a while. She was included in a family, albeit not her own, and she was the best friend to someone. So then why did she feel so awkward at the same time? Maybe it was because she was undeniably, overwhelmingly attracted to Ashley from the moment she saw her. No. She had to ignore it. She'd already seen the damage that had been done, she couldn't contribute to that more.

Then again, she wondered, Natasha had always spread a message about not being ashamed of what you need, and she needed something more than what she had.
Published on

Jenny Gibbons had always wanted to work with animals.


Ever since she was a little girl, she loved animals. She loved going to the zoo, the aquarium, national parks, anywhere she might see an animal. She took up bird watching, animal rescue, and eventually became a zoo ranger herself so she could live out her life amongst the creatures she thought were better than people. Jenny loved her job, too. She hated hearing about how people hated their job, because she just couldn't relate, but she also knew she had gotten lucky. She'd found her passion early, and it'd been passionate enough to guide her throughout life. Not everyone had that. Well, Allie Meers did, she guessed, and maybe that's why she liked Allie so much.


Not that she'd ever say it. In fact, she'd only actually met Meers a handful of times, and mostly thanks to her tigers incarceration at the zoo where she worked, and now the private owner who had him. Jenny got buddy buddy with Meer's boyfriend, Nick, but only so she could be closer to Allie. Jenny found Allie fascinating for a number of reasons; first off, the passion she had for her own work, which Jenny felt made them similar. Secondly, the tiger attack. She wasn't there when it happened, but she became obsessed with learning about it once she knew. And third, well...Allie was just plain pretty, and Jenny liked pretty girls.


Maybe tonight, yes, maybe tonight would finally be the night she'd come clean and tell Allie how she felt. She knew she was back with Nick, she didn't even know if she was remotely queer, but she knew that she had to at least say something, otherwise she'd always regret not. Driving to the small, private zoo, Allie and Zoe following behind her, Jenny knew this night would be special, and she was right.


Because by the end of the night, Jenny Gibbons would be able to relate to Allie Meers more than anyone else ever could.


                                                                          ***


"The hell are you doing?" Agent Tropper asked, entering Agent Siskel's apartment.


Siskel was laid up on the couch, eating popcorn in her sweatpants and a tank top and watching something on TV. Her hair was a mess, like she hadn't combed it recently, and her eyes were dark. Agent Tropper sat down on the couch and took a handful of popcorn before shutting the TV off.


"Hey!" Agent Siskel said, trying to sit up.


"You can't do this to yourself, Becky," Tropper said, "This isn't okay."


"Neither is losing my key piece of evidence and flubbing an entire case," Siskel responded, "but look where we are."


"We're clearly dealing with someone intelligent," Tropper said, "I admit that it's frustrating, sure, but you're the best agent I know, and if anyone could bounce back and solve this thing, it's you. Come on, get dressed and let's go watch Sunny's sister for a bit, see if she makes any kind of moves, and-"


"You don't get it, do you?" Siskel asked, her voice cracking, "I LOST a guy. I didn't not find him, I found him, and then I LOST him. That sort of setback isn't something you bounce back from, Roger. If I just hadn't found him, that'd be a whole different story, but to find him and then lose him again? That's...I'll be a laughingstock. I'll be...I'll be a..."


She couldn't even finish before she started crying. Tropper leaned in and rubbed his friends back, just listening. He hated seeing Siskel like this. She was usually so strong and brazen, and to see her worn down...he knew she had to let the act drop eventually, but he hated to see it up close.


"You're not a laughingstock, Becky. This is the first real setback you've ever endured, and your case completion rate is still higher than anyone elses, that's why you're the one on this job," Tropper said, "If we put the pressure on Claire, or like I said we look into Nicole some more, I'm sure we could get somewhere."


"Please just go," Siskel whispered, and after a moment Tropper nodded, stood up and headed to the door. As he exited, he looked back in and smiled.


"Call me if you need anything, okay?" he asked, and then he left.


Siskel laid back down on the couch and turned the TV back on, but this time on mute. A commercial for The Card Shark played, and Allie and Zoe's stage show filled up the screen. Siskel felt a fire begin to rage inside of her, but it fizzled out quickly, and she changed the channel and then buried her face in her couch pillow, crying.


                                                                            ***


"I didn't know people could have private zoos," Zoe said, sitting in the passenger seat of Allie's car, "I really didn't, like, I think I just sort of accepted that you couldn't own whole sets of endangered or dangerous animals."


"It is weird, isn't it? Like, you're used to people owning a dog or a cat or a bird, hell even something like a big lizard isn't too out of the ordinary or a giant snake, but then every once in a while you hear about these people somewhere who own a bobcat or something and it throws your entire perception of pet ownership into question. There was this lady in the first apartment complex I lived in when I moved here, and she lived a few floors up. She, by some act of god - whether that god be vengeful or kind remains to be seen - owned an anaconda. One day, I realize she's just, you know, missing. Nobody's seen her in weeks. So me and this neighbor of mine go upstairs and immediately we sense something is wrong cause the place reeks even before we could get in."


"Oh no."


"Oh yeah. And so we call the police out there and everything, and when they finally break in, she's been partially digested and shit out onto her couch, and the snake is nowhere to be seen," Allie said, "disgusting, might I add, way to go. But that's the risk you play with when you have something that dangerous. See, me? I'm a professional. I worked with big animals. That was just part of the job. This lady? She was a night clerk at a convenience store. She just liked big snakes, and apparently, they liked her too."


Zoe laughed, which made Allie feel a bit more relaxed. As they pulled up to the place, they stopped behind Jenny, who used her master key to gain entrance, then climbed back into her car and kept driving, the girls following.


"Do you know this girl very well beyond the few times you've spoken?" Zoe asked.


"Not really," Allie said, "I mean, she seems nice, but...not really."


"You think she can be trusted?"


"I do," Allie said, nodding, "I really do."


After a short drive further into the premises, both cars came to a stop and all three women got out. Jenny walked over to Allie, while Zoe went to open the back of the truck Allie had rented, and start hauling the tomb out. Why had Zoe agreed to come? Well, she figured this was partially her fault, after all. Allie wouldn't have done this to Sunny if he hadn't threatened to get Zoe hooked on something. Allie lit a cigarette as Jenny approached.


"Didn't know you smoked," Jenny said.


"Very rarely," Allie said, "Stopped years ago, but it happens from time to time when I'm really nervous. You're sure nobody will care we're here?"


"Nah, I'm part of the team that does wellness checks and stuff, he expects me to show up randomly now and then, and what better time than late at night?" Jenny asked, "...can we talk?"


"Sure," Allie said, as they started to walk away from the truck, so as not to draw suspicion to their plans, leaving Zoe to handle the tomb. The less Jenny knew, Allie thought, the better.


"I'm surprised you wanted my help, but I guess it's because I have access, not because you wanted to hang out," Jenny said, sounding nervous, her long silky black hair covering half her face as she snickered and added, "I mean, it'd be cool to hang out sometime, right?"


"You were already in my apartment," Allie said, "Making dinner with my boyfriend."


"I hope you don't think I have designs for him or something," Jenny said.


"I mean he told me as much you don't," Allie said, shrugging, "it was just...weird, I guess, to come home and find you two together. But I do appreciate what you've done for me, and for Domino, and so I guess I can't really be annoyed with you. You're a nice person, Jenny."


Jenny felt her heart flutter, and she blushed.


"I was...I was thinking, um, maybe sometime this coming weekend, you know if you and Nick aren't busy or whatever, we could-"


But she was stopped by the sounds coming from the truck. Both women glanced back, then Allie excused herself and went to help Zoe. Jenny, curious but more thinking about how she'd phrase this, continued walking. When she got to the tiger pit nearby, looking in and seeing Domino, she smiled. She wanted to be more than friends with Allie, but she didn't want Allie to cheat on her boyfriend. How could she get closer though without getting too close? Jenny rubbed her eyes. She hated this. She'd never been good at telling others that she liked them. Anytime she met a boy or a girl that she liked, she always had the toughest time just stating the obvious, and it rarely went well. Rejection was something Jenny had grown uncomfortably used to. She turned at the sound of the dolly wheels coming up behind her, and she looked at something wrapped in a tarp.


"What...what is that?" she asked.


"It's a gift," Allie said, "Don't worry about it."


"...okay, but you can't leave that here, cause if he sees it he's gonna ask-"


"Don't worry, we're not leaving it, we're just emptying it. It has some good meat in it Domino likes, stuff I used to feed him. I'll take the container home okay? Just wanted to dote on my cat for a change," Allie said, and Jenny nodded, still feeling queasy. Jenny then turned and walked to the back gate, unlocking it as Allie turned to Zoe and the two began to whisper.


"We're so close to being home free," Allie said, "you giddy?"


"Giddy doesn't begin to describe it," Zoe remarked, "I can't believe you're taking advice from a serial killer."


"Who better to ask how to dispose of bodies?"


"Well, someone who doesn't get caught doing it, for one," Zoe replied, making Allie smirk.


"Alright, well," Allie said, "it's not like this is gonna be an everyday thing, okay? One time deal, in and out, and then we can finally really move on. Nobody will have any evidence after this. We should've done this from the get go, but...I don't know, I guess I thought nobody would find his ass."


Jenny came back, twirling her keyring around her finger and stopped at the girls, who turned to look at her. Zoe started pushing the dolly ahead, as Jenny and Allie trailed closely behind.


"So what were you gonna ask me?" Allie asked, and Jenny blushed again.


"Oh, I don't know, just, ya know, maybe we could hang out again sometime," Jenny said, "You had a big cat, I love big cats, I could give you all sorts of information on Domino, pictures and stuff, keep you in the loop about how he's doing and stuff, you know?"


"I take it you don't have many friends," Allie said, making Jenny laugh.


"You'd be correct," she said, "I mean, I'm not very social to begin with, but you and Nick are cool and fun and it'd be nice to have at least one pair of buddies. Who knows, we might even-"


They heard the drop, and both turned their heads to see Zoe on her knees, groaning. Allie rushed over, kneeling down, grabbing Zoe's hand. Zoe sounded like she was struggling to breath, and she was shaking. That's when it occurred to Allie that she might be having a seizure. She remembered Zoe telling her she had seizures from time to time, but Allie had never seen it first hand.


"You okay? You alright? Should I do something?" Allie asked, and Zoe shook her head.


"I rolled over...my goddamned foot...with the goddamned dolly," Zoe whispered, making Allie laugh nervously, relieved she wasn't in fact having seizure. Allie helped her back up, but Zoe pulled away from her, glaring and adding, "it's YOUR treat, YOU push it."


"Jeez, you don't have to get angry just cause you maybe broke a nail," Allie replied back.


"Everything we do I'm your assistant, not your partner," Zoe said, making Allie surprised.


"Where the fuck is this coming from?!" she asked, now facing Zoe, who looked like she might explode.


"You say we're partners, but we're not, face it, we're not! I do everything FOR you! The only reason Molly went to get this thing with you is because I literally wasn't available, but had I been I'm sure I would've been the one to do that too. Let me guess? You made her load and unload it, didn't you? Never doing anything by yourself. I'm nothing more than a magicians assistant."


"Whoa, Zoe, calm down, what the-"


Zoe started breathing, then rubbed her eyes, almost crying. She apologized, admitting she didn't know where this outburst came from. Allie walked to her and put her hand on her shoulder, shushing her, telling her it was okay, that they could talk about a more professional partnership later if this was how she truly felt. Jenny checked her watch and sighed. They really needed to be out of here soon, before the early morning guards arrived. Jenny walked briskly past them and put her hands on the dolly, before wrenching her face.


"This smells TERRIBLE," she said.


"Don't touch that!" Allie shouted, rushing back to the dolly and pushing Jenny away, but she wouldn't let go of the handle.


"I'm just trying to help! My ass is on the line if we get caught in here, you know! I'm allowed to be here but I can't be bringing visitors, so we need to get this done and-"


"Let go, Jenny!" Allie shouted.


"You guys, shut up," Zoe said sternly, but neither would listen, they just continued pushing one another, trying to wrestle control of the dolly back and forth.


"I was trying to do you a favor, goddammit!" Jenny yelled and Allie sneered at her.


"I don't need your help!" she screamed, pushing her violently, making Jenny stumble backwards and, much to all their horror, fall over the wall of the pit. It was if time had stopped. Allie and Zoe rushed over to the side and peered down, seeing Jenny laying on her side, groaning.


"oh my god we need to get her out," Zoe whispered.


"I know, she unlocked the gate, we can-"


"Allie," Zoe whispered, tugging at her sleeve, pointing with her other hand. Allie looked back down and all the blood drained from her face. There, slowly slinking out of the darkness, was Domino. Allie couldn't move. She felt glued to the spot. Zoe, however, rushed to the gate and tried to open it to get inside, which was what finally made Allie snap back to reality as she ran up behind her and, arms around her waist, lifted her up, holding her back.


"We have to help her!" Zoe shouted, as Allie put a hand over her mouth.


"Shhh, we can't go down there, we-"


"Allie!" Jenny screamed, the terror in her voice palpable in the night air.


"Allie, we can't just-" Zoe started again, but Allie put her hand back over her mouth.


"Just be quiet, it'll be fine, it'll be fine," Allie said.


The screams. Jesus the screams. Allie and Zoe had heard those screams before. Allie knew firsthand what was happening, and Zoe had witnessed Allie dealing with it in the moment. They knew what was going on. They knew the pit was no longer an option. Zoe started sobbing, kicking, but Allie just pulled her back, dragging her to the truck and shoving her in before going back and, opening the tomb lid, dropping Sunny's decomposing body into the pit as well, where it landed with a thud beside Jenny, who was no longer making noise. Allie looked down into the pit to see Domino begin eating Sunny, and her eyes moved to Jenny, who was no longer moving, blood surrounding her.


"i'm so sorry," Allie whispered, before rushing back to the truck and climbing in, starting the car and pulling out. As they sped away, Zoe hit Allie repeatedly in the arm, screaming they had to go back, but Allie just kept on driving. There was nothing they could do. What had happened had happened.


Why, Allie wondered, of why couldn't things be easy just one time?


                                                                          ***


Becca Siskel was eating breakfast in her kitchen when she heard her front door open, and saw Roger Tropper enter. She sighed and shook her head.


"Before you say anything," she said, mouth full of muffin, "let me apologize for you having to see me in that state yesterday. I was...I was not good, and I'm embarrassed and-"


"You have plenty of other better things to be embarrassed about that I've been witness to," Tropper said, making her laugh as he tossed a newspaper in front of her and, pointing at it, said, "Read this."


Siskel went quiet for a bit, her eyes scanning the words, her mouth full of muffin. Once she finished, she looked at Tropper.


"...they name her specifically," Tropper said, "See? 'The tiger in question, once belonging to local magician Allie Meers, was subdued so medical aide could rush in to assess the damage done to Miss Gibbons'. They found half a body in the pit too, something the tiger was eating. She got the tomb thanks to Claire, and she dumped it in a tiger pit along with some poor girl, and they named her directly having ownership at one time, linking her to it. We got her. We can nail her."


Siskel looked back at the paper, then at Tropper.


"I...I don't..." Siskel said, "it's circumstantial, Tropper, we can't just-"


"Bullshit it's circumstantial! We were already investigating and this is just further proof that she not only committed a murder, then a theft of police property and now this?! Come on! We got her to the wall, Becky, we did it!"


Siskel stood up and walked to her coffee maker, pouring herself another cup, then taking a long sip of it before turning back to face Tropper.


"What?" he asked, "What is it?"


"...this is bigger than Meers. After you left last night, I went out, I sat outside Nicole's place for hours. She finally made a move. She drove down to a really nice suburb area, met with an older man. I looked up the address when I got home, it's her father, her father's a governor," Siskel said.


"And?"


"And, for the last few years, he's been pulling in money for re-elections from various sources, but if you do some digging, none of the sources are real outlets. They sound legit, on paper, because he created the companies as a falsehood. But the money coming in doesn't come from them, they come from the casinos. He's using casino backed cash to pay for his re-elections, buy himself back into the governership, and then the casinos get a huge tax dodge as a result for playing nice."


"...why...why are you telling me all of this?" Tropper asked.


"Because Allie Meers isn't our target," Agent Siskel said, wiping her mouth on her sweater sleeve, sighing, "...she's our one shot at catching something way bigger. She's how we'll bring down the governor."

Published on

Chelsea pushed some juice boxes onto the shelf, then knelt down and picked up a few more from the crate, aiming to fill the shelf entirely before moving on. It was late, and the store was empty. Polaris wasn't here, Xorlack hadn't come in, and Chelsea was, for the first time in a while, totally alone in the shop and it was kinda nice. She was enjoying the solitude for a change. She liked their company, certainly, but sometimes a person needs a little time to themselves.


As she shoved another few juice boxes onto the shelf, the lights flickered, and then went out. Chelsea groaned and turned, only to see one of the doors to the frozen aisle open up and a floaty figure slowly creep out. Chelsea bit her lip, trying not to scream, just as the lights came back to life, illuminating the figure, which she realized was now just a teenage girl. A dead teenage girl. A dead ghost teenage girl who just happened to look like a movie starlet from the 40s.


"I'm sorry," the girl said, "I hope I didn't frighten you."


"Takes a lot more than that to frighten me at this point," Chelsea replied.


The ghost floated across the floor and over to the candy aisle, looking around. Chelsea finished her shelf work, then abandoned her post and headed to the same aisle, watching.


"I don't see any Beaver Teeth, do you not carry that anymore?" the ghost girl asked.


"Yeah, it's right there, below Acid Wash," Chelsea said, pointing, and the ghost girl squealed and grabbed a few bars.


"It's amazing the things you miss when you're dead," the ghost girl said, "they say you get crazy cravings when you're pregnant, but death cravings I assume are even more intense."


Chelsea smirked at this. At least the ghost wasn't going to kill her. Seemed like her night was still gonna be pretty good. Chelsea pushed her hands in her pants pockets and walked further into the aisle, also looking at the candy.


"If you're dead, can you even eat it?" Chelsea asked.


"Of course," the ghost girl replied, "Ghosts can do plenty of things people can do. It's just that you all assume we can't. If anything, we can do more than living people can do. The living just have such a high opinion of themselves they can't imagine the dead being capable of doing more than them. They see death as the end, not an extension."


"Is it an extension?" Chelsea asked, genuinely curious.


"I'm here, ain't I?" the girl said, making Chelsea laugh a little; the ghost girl smiled and added, "I'm Monica."


"I'm Chelsea. It's nice to see another human," Chelsea said, "even if it is a dead one. So...how'd you die? And why are you haunting this store in particular?"


"How I died is kind of a personal question, don't you think?" Monica responded, making Chelsea feel awkward for having asked; but she just smiled again and added, "I'm yankin' yer chain. It's not that personal. I actually was here before the store was. I was killed and buried on this property by the guys who murdered me. So, if you wanna get technical, it's like the shop is haunting me."


"You were murdered?" Chelsea asked, grimacing, "geez, sorry."


"It happens," Monica said, shrugging as she tore open one of the candy bars and started eating, "When you're dead, you don't really think about regrets anymore. I mean, some ghosts can't escape it, but most I've found have felt that none of what the living thinks matters, so why worry? At least if you're alive you can make some kind of gesture to fix those regrets sometimes, but when you're dead, it's done. It's over. You're finished. So why bother worrying, you know?"


Chelsea nodded, thinking. Monica had a point. Chelsea did think about her regrets quite often, but she rarely if ever made any attempts to fix them. Chelsea pulled a bar from the rack herself and opened it, starting to eat. She'd since learned which things in the store, especially candy, were safe to eat and which would melt her insides.


"I was worried at first that maybe you were going to possess me or something, you know, being a ghost and all," Chelsea said while chewing.


"Why would I possess you? You work HERE. What would that gain me?" Monica asked, making Chelsea snort in laughter.


"Hey, it's not so bad," Chelsea said, surprising even herself with this admittance, "I mean, I get a discount, I get to eat or drink whatever I want, I get paid, and I get to meet plenty of cool people. This world has a lot of interesting folks who stop by."


"This world is relentlessly unforgiving," Monica said, "it's cold and it's cruel and it casts so many out without ever giving us a chance. It's dog eat dog here. Don't get me wrong, I'd never live or die anywhere else, but at the same time, I wonder if I made the right choice coming."


"Are you not from this realm?" Chelsea asked.


"I'm a human, or I was, now I'm a ghost, but you know what I mean," Monica said, popping another candy piece in her mouth and chewing, "I was a human, just like you. I found this place and it just seems like...like it was magical, you know? So different. So worth exploring. But the thing you don't learn until it's too late is how much it needs us, people like you and me, to continue running. Needs to feed off us. Our energy, our personhood."


"Am I...am I in danger if I stay?" Chelsea asked.


She'd long since questioned whether or not she was making a good decision, choosing to stay here, but she needed the job to pay for college. She sighed and scratched her forehead.


"Nevermind, it doesn't matter," Chelsea said, "if my parents lose another kid, what's the difference."


This got Monica's attention. She looked at Chelsea, raising an eyebrow, curious.


"I had a little sister," Chelsea said, "...and when I say little, I mean little, she was only 4. I was 15 when my parents had her, so there was definitely an age gap. Not that that mattered, we were still best friends. Sometimes I think she was my only friend. Anyway, I failed to keep her safe, so why should I worry about my own safety? Besides, they'd be happy to be rid of me, considering what I did."


"What'd you do?" Monica asked, sounding genuinely concerned.


"....uh....I was...learning to drive," Chelsea said, "and uh...you know, student drivers, we're all really bad, but I thought I was doing a pretty good job. I was heading back to my house with my instructor, the test was over for the day, and uh...and I was certain I'd get my license anytime now. I had passed all the tests, written or otherwise, so. Anyway, I'm pulling up into the driveway and, ya know, my dad is there, and he sees me and he just...he stands there, staring, dead eyed. I'm like, confused, cause what's the problem, I'm just coming home from a test. Until I got out of the car. Until I saw her hand."


Chelsea felt her stomach turning. She didn't want to revisit this. She hated even thinking about it. But...she pressed on.


"I didn't see her, I couldn't...I couldn't have known. She was drawing with chalk, how could I...it was an accident, you know, and everyone knew that, it wasn't like I was put on trial or anything. But...but I couldn't help but feel like my parents hated me for it. Ever since then they've acted like they don't believe in anything I do being fruitful. Like I'm a waste of time and energy. So if this place eats me alive, literally or figuratively, then I guess it'll just be doing them a favor."


A long moment passed in the shop, as the two girls stood there, quietly eating their candy bars. Finally, Monica coughed and spoke.


"You know that isn't your fault, right? That's just what we call an act of god," Monica said.


"I'm just saying that if you exist, if you tell me that death is an extension and not an end, then maybe she's not really gone," Chelsea said, wiping at her eyes, "you know? The world might be cruel and uncaring here, but it's that way in my world too, and that sucks but...knowing you haunt this place, maybe she haunts our home and I just can't see her."


The bell over the door rang, and Chelsea went to help the customer. It was a woman with snakes in her hair, similar to Medusa, and she wanted a soda and a lottery ticket. Chelsea helped her check out, then turned her attention back to Monica, who was now sitting on the counter, or as close to sitting as a ghost could get.


"I love it here," Chelsea said, leaning on the counter, chin on her fist, "like...nobody expects anything of me except to do my job, you know? I love it. It's great. It's weird and it's different and it's not where I'm from but I'm also not where I'm from, you know? I never felt like I fit in, especially after what I did, and this is the kind of place that makes me feel like that doesn't matter, and I belong somewhere at least. This place has wholeheartedly accepted me. Whether that's because it intends to kill me someday or not I don't know, nor do I care. I like it here. With the monsters and the ghosts."


Monica smiled warmly.


"Slipshade is a pretty great place," she said, "and Last Shop On The Left is the best example of that. Out there, we might fight and bicker and argue, be divided, but in here all that matters is our purchases. We put aside all our petty differences to buy our crappy cigarettes and energy drinks, even if only momentarily."


Chelsea listened, but she didn't respond. That was the first time she'd talked openly about her sister before, or at least since the funeral. She tried never to tell anyone, mostly because she didn't want their pity. She didn't feel like she deserved it. No matter what her parents or even a psychologist might tell her, she couldn't shake the feeling that she felt single handedly responsible for her sisters death. Talking about it now, she felt a bit lighter, definitely, but not better.


Chelsea rolled her head to face Monica and their eyes met. Monica smiled at her again, and Chelsea smiled back. Chelsea cleared her throat and wiped her eyes on her shirt sleeve that she wore under her work vest.


"Uh, I guess I just like the idea that somewhere out there, she's still here, eating candy bars," Chelsea said, "I recognize the two places aren't the same, so maybe the same rules don't apply, but this...I don't know, it brings me some sense of comfort."


"That's what I hate about being a ghost. So many people just attribute us to abject terror, but we can bring so many other emotions out that they never even consider. I much prefer to bring peace and comfort to someone than scare them silly," Monica said, opening yet another candy bar and biting into it, adding while chewing, "Besides, in the long run, what'll you remember better? Something that scared you, or something that helped you?"


Chelsea nodded. Monica wasn't wrong.


"So you just haunt the store regularly, huh?" Chelsea asked.


"Yep," Monica said, "Waited a while before I made my appearance tonight, had to make sure you were the right kind of person to show myself to. Some people don't deal with this sort of stuff well."


"I believe it."


The girls laughed, and it felt good to laugh. Chelsea hadn't laughed in years as much as she had while working here recently, and it was a nice thing to feel again. The girls talked some more, about the vanity of life, the banality of death, the mundane reality of both. After a while, Monica got tired, and said she should be heading back. As she gathered up a few things, taking them back to the freezer, she turned and looked at Chelsea.


"If I see your sister," she said, "I'll tell her you said hi."


Chelsea wanted to cry, but instead she just thanked her. A while after Monica left, the doors opened again, and Polaris finally came in. He approached the counter to find Chelsea sitting on a stool, eating more candy, reading a magazine.


"You know, you eat too much of that, you'll get cavities, or worse, diabetes," Polaris said, "Course I think you have to have been pre-dispositioned to get it, but still."


"I don't care," Chelsea said.


"Yeah? And what, pray tell, gave way to this brazen attitude?" Polaris asked, lighting a cigar, as Chelsea looked up and smirked.


"Life's too fuckin' short," she said.

Picture

About

So Happy Together is a dramedy about couple Aubrey & Brent. After Aubrey plays an April Fools joke on Brent that she's pregnant, Brent confesses out of panic that he actually has a secret daughter with an ex wife, and everything changes overnight.