Pairings in the Park was once again here, and the gang, as usual, was in attendance. The event - one of the smaller of the season - was located in Millsbury Park, and was a simple enough concept; you have a wine and cheese pairing in the park, a multitude of wine and cheeses to choose from, and plenty of other people to talk to while you do it. It was a pretty mundane event, honestly, but that didn't keep the group from showing up. Wine, after all, was wine. As Burnie and Delia walked into the parkgrounds side by side, Delia sighed, tossing her hair.

"I don't even like this event that much," she said softly, making sure nobody would hear her disparaging the event, "it's not that it's a bad event, it's more just....it's so...hokey, you know? So lower tier. I want to go somewhere where I get to dress up nice, where there's ambiance."

"Well, I'm sorry that not every event isn't Mrs. Baudiers Sour Grapes," Burnie said, making her chuckle.

Mrs. Baudiers Sour Grapes was, perhaps, the single most sought after event in the wine tasting community, and was so exclusive that often people went through years of waiting - sometimes even a decade - before finally being admitted to attend.

"Well, I wouldn't even mind if it was just held indoors, it's just the outside I hate," Delia said, "I wear these lovely heels and now they are going to be caked in dirt when all is said and done."

"Why don't you just buy a pair of normal shoes?" Burnie asked.

"Why don't you just shove your opinions up your-" Delia began to reply, before someone walked up interrupting them and instead she turned to greet them, a false smile now plastered on her face as she said, "David! Lovely to see you!"

David Barnes, one of the most popular wine tasters in the community, shook her hand. David was only in his 50s, but he looked like he was younger, and was always dressed so well. Clean loafers, a nice pair of ash grey slacks and a black button down shirt. He then shook Burnie's hand as well.

"Glad to see you two could make it!" he said jovially, "You want to taste the best pairing here? Follow me."

Delia looked at Burnie, who just shrugged, and so they began to follow David through the park.

"Why are there kids here?" Burnie asked, as he noticed children running around the park, playing and screaming.

"Well, there may be wine present, but this is one of the more family friendly events. It's in a park, and often parents can't find sitters," David said as they strolled through the grass, "it's fine though, none of the kids ever get into the alcohol, so there's no need to worry."

                                                                                 ***

At that very moment, some kids were, in fact, getting into the alcohol.

Teenagers, actually. They'd snuck off some of the flights off a little ways away from the main tables, and were leaning against the trees drinking. As they drank, they noticed two people - Preston and Flo - at a nearby table, picking things out and making one another taste them.

"What do you think about them?" one of the teens, a boy named Ryan, asked.

"I think they'd do it, they look cool," another teen, a girl named Ashley, replied.

With that, Ryan left and approached the table.

"What do you think?" Flo asked as she watched Preston eat a cheese. After a few moments, he nodded, grinning.

"Yeah, that's good, pair that with this," he said, holding up a small glass, "and boy there's a nice aftertaste when the two meet."

Flo nodded, taking a piece of cheese for herself, popping it into her mouth and chewing before taking Preston's glass and sipping from it, making a contented noise, indicated she agreed with him. As they did this, Ryan approached the table, tapping his fingers on it, so as not to come off as suspicious. After a few seconds, he looked up at Flo and Preston, who looked up at him and smiled, politely acknowledging his presence.

"What do you recommend?" he asked.

"Well," Flo said, "personally, I think this Brie goes well with this Rose, but that's just my opinion. Everyone's pallets are different. Is this your first time here?"

"Yeah," Ryan said, "you guys wanna come and help my friends and I get initiated? We came as a group since we've never done this before, and we're all a little nervous."

Flo and Preston exchanged a glance, then shrugged, happy to help. So, with a little plate of cheese and some more wine, they followed Ryan back to the little spot he and his group had hidden themselves away in, unaware that they were actually hanging out with high schoolers. And yet...for some reason, this made sense. Given how immature Flo and Preston were, it was almost like they were just hanging out with their peers.

                                                                              ***

Burnie bit into a hunk of cheese and got a distinct look of unease flashing across his face. Delia looked over at him as he politely spit it into a napkin and then tucked it into his coat pocket since there wasn't a nearby trashcan. Delia hit him in the arm, causing him to glance over. They were waiting for David to come back with his girlfriend who had brought a special bottle of wine, and were, while waiting, testing various cheeses, but from the looks of it, Burnie wasn't much enjoying himself.

"You okay?" Delia asked, and Burnie shrugged, shaking his head.

"Something about that cheese in particular...I know it's supposed to be aged but it tastes outright rotten. Maybe do yourself a favor and stay the hell away from that one."

"Are you just gonna walk around with that cheese in your pocket for the rest of the day?"

"If you see a garbage can, please tell me," Burnie said, "until then, yes, he's now my passenger."

Just then David reappeared, but with no wine bottle and no girlfriend. Delia took a piece of cheese and a flight of one thing or another, eating and drinking the two together, before turning her attention back to David.

"So?" she asked, wiping her hands on a napkin provided on the table, "where is she? Where's this bottle?"

"She's busy at the moment, but she'll bring it over here as soon as she's done," David said, "so how many times have you guys come to Pairings? Cause I didn't see you last year, but surely this isn't your first time."

"David," Burnie said, interrupting, looking ill, "what was this cheese?"

Burnie pointed at what he had eaten from the table, and David, adjusting his glasses and leaning in, inspecting it, shook his head.

"No idea Burnie, sorry. Something someone brought, but it does look...off, doesn't it?" David answered, "anyway, Delia, this isn't your first time, right? Surely you've been to a Pairings before."

As Delia explained her personal history with Pairings, Burnie started to stumble away a bit, looking for a garbage can to not only throw away the cheese in his pocket but also to maybe throw up in. People were usually pretty good about bringing decent cheese, but for some reason this had slipped through the cracks and now he felt sick to his stomach. He could feel it rising in his stomach, but he wasn't sure where to go or what to do. Whatever he was going to do, he was going to have to make a decision, and quick, or else he was going to be a spectacle. Meanwhile, back at the table, Delia was continuing to explain her history with Pairings when a young woman with short dark brown hair and wearing a bright yellow tight dress approached, holding a bottle of wine.

"Oh, thank you!" David said, taking it from her happily and handing it to Delia before grabbing the woman and kissing her, now making Delia uncomfortable. The woman then excused herself momentarily to use the restroom, saying she'd be right back.

"Um," Delia said, "...was that your daughter? Cause if so, we need to have a talk."

"No," David said, laughing, "no no, that's my new girlfriend, Gabby."

"David, she's like...22," Delia said, looking at the bottle as she spoke, not able to help herself but admire it, "are you sure that's...you know...okay?"

"She's of legal age, she's of drinking age, I don't see a problem with it," David said, shrugging.

"Of course you don't," Delia said, as David grabbed a piece of cheese from the table and popped it in his mouth, now turning back to face her as he chewed and furrowed his brow.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"It means that men often don't see anything wrong with doing something just because it's technically legal, forgetting entirely about the morally grey areas of the whole thing," Delia said, handing him back the wine bottle and putting a hand on her hip, "for instance, it's scientifically proven that a persons brain doesn't stop maturing until the age of 25, meaning that they're essentially the same until then, regardless of whatever facets of their personality they might develop over that course of time. Therefore, sure, she's over 18 and technically legal to date, and sure she's over 21 and technically legal to drink, but that doesn't mean she's entirely capable of comprehending the emotional consequences that come with a serious relationship."

"Who said it's serious?" David asked, taking a sip from a flight of red he'd picked up from the table, admiring its tastes as he licked his lips, "we're just having fun."

"Does she know that?" Delia asked, "Cause trust me, the way she looked, she sure seemed to think it was serious."

David turned and saw Gabby approaching them again, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and sighing. Dammit. Why did Delia always have to point out the flaws in his life. He wasn't intending to hurt anyone, and he wasn't trying to take advantage of some young girls naivete. He genuinely liked Gabby as a person, but maybe Delia had a point. She should be with her peers, not at some smarmy wine tasting event in the park. David sighed and looked back at Delia.

"You know," David said, "you're kind of a pain."

"I've been told that a lot lately, actually," Delia said, folding her arms and smirking, "...where'd Burnie go?"

                                                                              ***

Burnie had gotten a bit aways from everyone else, just in case he ralphed, and eventually came to a small clearing where he came through the bushes and found, of all things, Flo and Preston with the high school kids. Burnie stopped in his tracks and stared at them, before Flo walked towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder and looking him in the eyes.

"You okay?" she asked, "you look like ass."

"I feel like ass," Burnie mumbled, "I think I ate some rotten cheese."

"You smell like rotten cheese," Flo whispered, waving her hand in front of her face, "are you gonna puke?"

"God I hope not, this suit is expensive," Burnie said, "have you seen a trashcan anywhere on these premesis? Because I haven't and at this point I'm convinced garbage cans are an elaborate conspiracy and don't actually exist and are, in fact, a collective delusion."

From the small group, the kids were now looking up and over at Burnie and Flo, curious what all the fuss was about. Being sick wasn't something Burnie was good at, he certainly never handled it particularly well, and being sick at a public event? An event where he knew a lot of the people? Well that would just be outright embarrassing. Ryan stood up and came across the grass to Flo and Burnie, reaching into his pocket and telling Burnie to open his hand, which he did. Ryan then put something in his hand and told him to take this, because it would help settle his stomach. Burnie nodded and popped the pill into his mouth, swallowing. Ryan chuckled and patted his back.

"There you go buddy," Ryan said, "you'll be alright."

"You just carry around acid reducers?" Flo asked, half laughing, half confused.

"Oh, no, that was a Xanax, I stole them from my mom," Ryan said.

"What?!" Burnie shouted, "you gave me a Xanax?! You can't mix heavy medication with alcohol, are you out of your damn mind?!"

"Don't worry, don't worry, we'll fix it," Flo said, snapping her fingers at Preston who stood up and ran over to them. He and Flo exchanged a glance, before Preston nodded, grabbed Burnie by the shoulders and kissed him, making everyone laugh and gasp. After the kiss ended, Burnie pulled away from him, wiping his mouth repeatedly on his coat sleeve.

"What the hell?!" Burnie shouted, "Preston, don't get me wrong, you're a good looking guy, but I...I..."

And with that Burnie bent over and vomited all over his nice new shoes. Preston and Flo gave one another a light high five as Ryan stood there, astonished.

"How did you know that would make him puke?" Ryan asked.

"Because it's shock, he wasn't expecting it, it turned his stomach," Preston said, "we've known him long enough to know how his body works. Nausea is a funny thing that way."

"...my shoes," Burnie said, hands on his knees, looking downwards, "oh god, my shoes. Preston...you're buying me new shoes."

"Yeah, right, like I can afford that," Preston muttered, "you're welcome by the way."

As Preston turned and walked away a bit, Burnie screamed and leapt on his back, tackling him to the ground, everyone laughing as they watched. Burnie wasn't even mad that Preston had kissed him, Burnie was nothing if not a queer ally and neither of them were even bisexual, but he was pissed about his shoes more than anything else. Flo crossed her arms and smiled as she watched her friends fight, Ryan standing beside her.

"Are things with you guys always like this?" he asked.

"Pretty much," she replied, nodding.

                                                                           ***

Delia approached Gabby from behind, as she was chatting with some people. Delia picked up a new wine glass full of a red zin on the way to the small group and, once she arrived, waited for the ladies to finish their conversation, politely standing by and smiling, sipping her wine. Once the discussion came to a bit of a lull, Gabby finally turned and noticed Delia, smiling at her brightly.

"Hi again!" she said cheerfully, "did you try that wine?"

"I did, yeah, David opened it," Delia said, "absolutely delightful, easily the best thing here, but that's no surprise, given that David happens to be an expert collector of fine wines. But that's actually not what I want to talk to you about, I really want to-"

"Can I ask..." Gabby said, "sorry to interrupt but...are you about to lecture me on our age difference? Because god knows I've heard it from everyone. My parents, my friends, some of his friends, everybody. And I just want you to know that whatever it is you're going to try and add to the conversation has probably already been said threefold, and so, instead, maybe mind your own business."

Delia was flabbergasted. She was doing something nice, trying to look out for another woman, and instead Gabby was just being an upfront ass about it.

"I...I just wanted to let you know that, yes, it's a little odd," Delia said, stammering, "obviously you're an adult, you can do whatever you want, nobody could stop you, but it's going to make society look at you strangely and frankly David is a nice guy but I don't think you really want to be a part of this lifestyle. It isn't as nice as it's made out to be. Lot of alcoholics come out of these tastings."

"I appreciate your concern, MOM," Gabby said, tossing her hair, the women behind her snickering, "but you're just talking to a wall at this point. I've heard everything you can imagine, so why don't you just-"

But before she could even finish her statement, Preston, still with Burnie on his back, burst through the crowd, shouting at Burnie to get off him. They stumbled around the tables, knocking a smaller one over, before finally approaching Delia and bumping into her elbow, causing her to jerk her arm forward and dump her wine glass on Gabby's beautiful yellow silk designer dress. Gabby looked down at her stain, Delia putting a hand to her mouth in shock, as the guys continued on past them, and then, as Gabby's eyes met with Delia's, Delia started laughing.

Needless to say, the group was completely barred from ever coming to Pairings in the Park again.

                                                                                ***

"Well that was an unmitigated disaster," Burnie said, sounding sick and weak as they sat in a nearby coffee shop to help settle his stomach.

"That's what my headstone will read," Flo said, biting into the sandwich she'd gotten from a convenience store next door.

"God, that was glorious," Delia said, nibbling at the muffin she'd gotten in the coffee shop, "that girl had such a nasty attitude, and I didn't even have to do anything myself, it was a total accident. Well done, men. You really helped me not feel like a bitch while being a bitch."

"Glad to help," Burnie muttered, resting his head on the table as Delia reached over and ran her fingers through his hair to soothe him. Just then the group of teenagers walked into the coffee shop and, after spotting the gang, Ryan approached the table and looked at them, smiling, laughing.

"You guys were a riot," he said, "honestly, that made today way better than I expected it to be. Also, Flo, would it be cool if I gave you a call sometime?"

"...aren't you in high school?" Delia asked, "you look way too young to be drinking."

Flo suddenly got a horrified look on her face, pulling her sunhat down to cover her head as Ryan walked away ashamed. Delia looked across the table at Flo and shook her head.

"Don't feel bad, you didn't know," she said.

"Heh," Preston chuckled, "the only guys who like you are high schoolers."

"I have better luck than you with your socks," Flo snapped back, causing Preston to blush.

Truth be told, the gang themselves weren't all that different from said group of high schoolers they'd sort of spent the afternoon with. Bickering, snide comments, inappropriate behavior, and yet...also like a teenage friend group, tight to the end of days like adult friend groups could never achieve. In a way, there was something comforting about growing up without ever growing up. Delia thought back to Gabby and her now ruined dress and couldn't help but laugh to herself once more.

She'd much rather spend her free time with these idiots than the stuck up snobs at events like that. And maybe someday someone like Gabby will recognize the value in that as well.

"Show me show me show me," Delia said excitedly, like a child, as Burnie slowly pulled a red velvet bag from inside his coat and slid out a long glass bottle. Delia took it in her hands with such carefulness, like holding a newborn baby, her eyes wide with awe; she finally managed to speak again, "where...where did you-"

"When my wife and I got married, her father gave me that," Burnie said, "he knew I appreciated wine-"

"That's a fancy way of acknowledging your alcoholism," Flo said, standing beside him, her arms folded.

"-so he gave me this as a symbol of welcoming me into the family," Burnie said, "he likes wine himself, so."

"What's so special about this bottle, I don't get it," Preston said, leaning against a nearby tree.

"It's been out of production for a number of years now," Delia said, taking the mantle from Burnie and explaining, "so that makes it fairly sought after. They said they would resume production, but another company bought the people making it, and it's never returned to shelves. You've never once opened it?"

"Nope," Burnie said, "this is a charity event, I figured I'd let someone buy it and-"

"I'll buy it, right here, right now," Delia said, surprising them all.

Burnie chuckled, reached for the wine and took it, slipping it back into the velvet bag for stuffing it gently back inside his coat pocket.

"I appreciate your gusto, I do, but I brought it for the event, Delia," Burnie said, "this thing could bring a lot of money to the charity and-"

"500 dollars," Delia said, pulling her checkbook from her purse.

"...can I have 500 dollars?" Flo asked.

"For what?" Delia asked as she looked through her purse for a pen.

"I don't know. Being cool?"

"I'll pay you twenty bucks to not ask me for more money," Delia said.

"Deal," Flo replied.

"Delia, slow your roll, okay? Let's get inside first, see how the event goes, and then, you know, if you're lucky maybe you'll be the one to buy it," Burnie said as he turned on his heel and started heading indoors, Delia nipping at his trail as Flo and Preston followed closely behind. As they entered the building, it became clear to them that this was an event none of them - even Delia at her finest - was likely meant to be seen at. The Highlands Charity Wine Tasting was always a gala event, a who's who in the wine tasting community. Needless to say, the kinds of people who came to this on the regular were not the kinds of people this group was. Delia was the closest they got, and even she wasn't in high enough social standing to be considered.

In fact, the only way they even managed to get in this year was because several years prior Delia had put them on a waitlist, and their names finally came up, so now was their time to attend. That being said, since they didn't know anyone and weren't formally invited, they were all seated together, not that they minded. They were sort of friends, after all. Heading into the large banquet hall and then through the crowd to the smaller auction area where the charity event would take place proper, Burnie couldn't help but feel just a little bit smug about his addition to the charity. The group headed through the doorway to the smaller auction area, when Flo grabbed Preston's arm and stopped him.

"What?" he asked, sounding annoyed, until he noticed her pointing at something in a neighboring room.

The room in question was one filled with items, and three people around their age all laughing and having shots. Flo and Preston headed inside the room and approached the table, where one of the women turned and smiled at them upon their arrival.

"Hi," she said enthusiastically.

"Hey," Preston said, "what's going on in here? What is all this stuff?"

"This is the tier 2 charity items," the woman said, nodding towards the pile, "this is the stuff that they let the other members fight over if we don't wanna join the bidding war in the main hall."

"What are you guys doing in here?" Flo asked.

"We're playing Sloshing," the man in the room said as he poured yet another shot in each of the girls glass, "see, the rule is that I have multiple unlabled bottles of wine, and whoever guesses correctly gets to pick from the pile. Each correct guess constitutes a prize. You guys want in?"

Preston and Flo glanced at one another, then shrugged, nodding. This seemed more their speed anyway than a stuffy old auction.

                                                                           ***

The auction always had dinner beforehand.

Sitting in the main hall, together at the table, Delia and Burnie were eating their prepared meals; grilled chicken salad with a wine of their choosing to be paired with it. Something light yet filling was the idea, get their brains moving but not get them so bogged down in afterdinner sweats that they couldn't focus on the auction that came next. Sitting there, Delia couldn't keep her eyes from wandering back to the velvet satchel sitting on the table beside Burnie while he ate. As he lifted more chicken and lettuce to his lips, he smirked.

"Hey," he said through a mouthful of dinner, "you can stop the oggling, okay?"

"...I just want it," Delia admitted, "I can't help it."

"Yeah, well, you and likely everyone else in this room," Burnie said, "outbid 'em."

"You know I don't have that much," Delia whispered angrily.

"You offered me 500 just outside," Burnie replied, laughing.

"I was desperate!" Delia snapped back, "Come on Miller, I'll babysit for a year. You and your wife could have some alone time and-"

"Delia, drop it," Burnie said sternly, now sounding genuinely annoyed as he asked her to pass the parmesean, which she did, but only with the level of a child throwing a quiet temper tantrum. Burnie took the container and started to shake it over his plate when someone approached and patted him on the shoulder. They both looked up to see a tall, thin, black man in his early 40s smiling down at him. Burnie grinned and reached up, shaking his hand.

"I was wondering if I'd see you," the man, Marvin, said.

"Yeah, it's good to see you too!" Burnie said, "please, sit down and join us."

Marvin nodded, reached for a chair from a nearby table and dragged it over, seating himself between the two of them. Marvin cleared this throat, then spoke, his voice low.

"You do know what's going on, right?" he asked, causing a look of concern to flash across both Burnie and Delia's faces.

"No?" they replied in unison.

"Some rich son of some famous wine family is offering a certain amount of money for everything here," Marvin said, "this auction is a total sham this year. Everything's already bought and paid for. When people bid, and win because they have to keep the illusion alive, they'll simply be reimbursed after the fact in private. So whatever you might've brought...you might not wanna let them have it."

Burnie and Delia exchanged a glance of panic.

"Well," Burnie said, scratching his cheek, "but...why is-"

"Because the family is cutting an enormous check," Marvin said, shrugging, "just business man."

"Why are you telling us this?" Flo asked.

"You I don't know, so I'm actually just telling him. You're just in proxy. And I'm telling you," he said, now looking at Burnie, "because last year, you informed me about a fake bottle being passed around, and when the opportunity came to me to purchase it, I declined because of the information you gave me, so now we're even."

Marvin stood up and patted Burnie on the shoulder again, smiling, as he took his leave. Burnie and Flo sat there, in almost stunned silence, before Burnie threw down his utensils in frustration, rubbing his face and groaning.

"Can I..." Delia mumbled, "can I buy it now?" she asked.

                                                                              ***

"....white cherry, aged in wood," Flo said, smacking her lips.

A small cheer erupted amongst the little group, as she grinned and walked over to the pile to pick something out. After a moment of searching, she tagged her name on a nice toaster, and then came back to the group, who were now giving Preston a shot of something. Preston took a long sip, then sloshed it around in his mouth momentarily, making a puzzled look on his face before finally swallowing and thinking.

"Uh..." he said softly, "that's...that's definitely Peach...but...there's something else," Preston said, scratching his head, "just gimme a moment."

"Take all the time you need," one of the women said, grinning.

"Peach, but what is it aged in," Preston mumbled, "it's...it's not wood...that would be obvious. It's almost like..." he tasted his tongue again and thought hard, furrowing his brow, "...it's almost like pottery of some kind. Like a large stone vase. It's Clay! Clay, Amphora!"

The group cheered again and Flo and Preston had a high five as Preston went to get his own name tagged on a prize while one of the women took her turn. When Preston returned next to Flo, he grinned at her.

"Nice guess, man," Flo said, "I'm genuinely impressed."

"Yeah, so am I," Preston said, laughing, "I actually only recently learned about that type of aging."

Flo had said she was genuinely impressed, but she wasn't just saying it to be complimentary, she truly was genuinely impressed. Preston had always seemed like the odd one out amongst the four of them, coasting by on daddy's money and mommy's adoration. He didn't work, he didn't have any real kind of responsibilities, and all he did for fun was attend these wine tastings with the group, so Flo had always sort of looked on him as a poser of sorts, but...she was beginning to see he really did know his shit. And she liked what she saw. Maybe they could be better friends, really.

                                                                                ***

"This sucks," Burnie mumbled, the two of them still sitting at their table, having finished eating and now awaiting for the auction to begin.

"This does suck," Delia said, "and dinner wasn't even that good. Isn't there something we can do?"

"I don't think so," Burnie said, "I could pull back my offering maybe, but I'm sure that'd piss people off. Pulling an item from a charity auction? That shows bad blood. I could never show my face at an event again."

"Should've let me buy it," Delia said, and Burnie soured.

"I mean they already knew I was bringing it, so if I then let you buy it, I'd catch flack for that," Burnie said, "...fuck."

Delia and Burnie sat there, trying to rack their brains to come up with some sort of idea they could conjure to save their beloved bottle, but sadly, it just appeared there was no way out. The bottle was going to be 'auctioned' and it would be given to one person without anyone else getting a chance to fight for it. This disgusted them both to an insane degree. It's one thing to write a large check, but to then get gifts in return for it - things that were meant to be bought by anyone willing to pay the price - was just a whole other level of sickening greed mongering.

"What if we wrote a bigger check?" Delia asked.

"...like we have the money, you just admitted you didn't even have the 500 you were willing to pay me," Burnie said, half laughing, "now you're gonna drop a bundle like a rockafeller? Gimme a break, Dels, it's over. We just need to accept it."

Delia sighed and looked at the velvet bag again, and shook her head.

"We can't let this happen," she said.

"We don't have a choice," Burnie replied.

"If we tell everyone ahead of time, then-"

"Delia, NO. Marvin put his butt on the line to tell me, okay? If I start spreading that like the gospel, all three of us will be basically disbarred from the community," Burnie said, "I can't lose access to this hobby, or its events. It's all I've got right now.

Just then they noticed Flo sitting herself in the chair Marvin had been using, seeming slightly tipsy, but grinning like a fool.

"Where have you been?" Burnie asked, like a worried father.

"Playing a game called Sloshing. Preston and I both won a bunch of free stuff; all the secondary items that weren't good enough for the main auction wound up being up for grabs through this game," Flo said, "why are you guys so sad looking? I mean, I know why you are normally, but you look even sadder than usual."

Burnie and Delia looked at one another, an idea forming in their brain.

                                                                            ***

His name was Eric Dwyers, and he was, by all accounts, just in this community for the benefits it brought and not an appreciation of the culture or the wine. He was young, mid twenties, with perfect short blonde hair and a winning smile, the kind of man you often see in underwear ads in high class fashion magazines. But there was one thing Eric didn't have; oh sure, he had his family's money, and with that access to the sleaze and fame it brought, but he didn't have knowledge. He was just there to cash in. That's where Eric differed, and it would prove to be his downfall.

The gang, through Marvin, sought Eric down in a small back room, where he and some girls - clearly women he'd paid to come with him - were seated, drinking and laughing. As they stood outside the room, Burnie sighed and turned to the others.

"Alright," he said, "here's how it does. We don't even want the other stuff, yeah? Screw everyone else. We say anything about this, we'll be cast out anyway, so right now all that matters is the safety of my bottle. Preston, I've heard you're remarkably perceptive when it comes to guessing tastings, so now's your time to shine, buddy."

Preston nodded, though, truth be told, he was a tad scared he wasn't going to be good enough for it. Burnie knocked on the door, and when prompted to enter, he did, the group behind him. Upon seeing Eric, everyone was both somehow surprised and unsurprised. One of the models hanging off his arm, a girl with pale skin and long dark brown hair, looked at them as they entered, and locked eyes with Flo, who quickly averted her eyes.

"Hello," Burnie said, reaching out to shake Eric's hand, "I'm Burnie Miller. Um, listen, this is going to be a strange proposition, I understand that, but I brought a bottle for the auction. It's a bottle I got during my wedding, it's an out of production wine, but upon learning that you were simply buying all the stuff anyway and the auction was a sham, I figured, why not make this a little more interesting."

"I like interesting," Eric said, leaning forward, "I'm listening."

"So," Burnie said, "for all the secondary items, this group out there created a little game called Sloshing, and, uh...we figured you might be interested in doing this for my bottle. Basically we have a wine, you don't know what it is, and you have to guess correctly or you lose the bottle, and we keep it."

Eric nodded, but he was nervous. He was in the company of beautiful women - women he'd paid to come, however - and wasn't about to be made a fool of. He was the son of a billionaire, he wasn't going to take a loss. However, if he refused to participate, he'd look like an outright coward. There really wasn't a good option for him regardless.

"That's...intriguing, certainly," Eric said, "uh...who'll be doing the tasting?"

"That'd be me," Preston said, raising his hand, and Eric smirked.

Eric himself may not be a wine master, but looking at Preston, in his torn jeans and his band-tee, his sunglasses up on his forehead, he figured he certainly had more expertise than this punk did. Suddenly Eric felt much better about his chances.

"Just one bottle? Not best of three or anything?" Eric asked and Burnie smirked.

"Eric," he said, "where's the fun in that? One brings high stakes. Three brings opportunity to be beaten."

Eric nodded, and even Delia smirked. She was impressed by Burnie's ability to call rich peoples bluffs.

"Alright, get pouring," Eric said, standing up and clapping his hands. As they prepared, the girl with the dark brown hair in the yellow dress he'd been seated by stood up and walked across the room, parking herself against the wall beside Flo.

"This is embarrassing," she said quietly, making Flo laugh; she continued, "who are you people?"

"We're the cultural elites worst enemy," Flo said, winking at the woman, who smiled back. After Burnie was done preparing, he handed Eric his shot, handed Preston his shot, and then he and Delia took Preston a bit away for a moment and looked him in the eye.

"Preston," Burnie said, "I've never believed in you."

"Okay, ow," Preston said, "gotta admit, wasn't prepared for that."

"But right now, Flo believes in you. She saw you win at Sloshing multiple times, okay? I know there's a lot to risk losing here, but don't let that bring you down or make you nervous. This kid? He's nothing. He's bupkis. But you? You're the cats pajamas."

"What fucking era are you from?" Delia asked, pulling Burnie away and taking over, looking at Preston, hands on his shoulders and eyes locked with his as she said, "Preston, you can do this. He's just here cause he's paid to be here. He's daddies spoiled little rich boy here to collect, alright? He thinks the world owes him, he thinks everything the light touches is his by birthrite, and tonight, you're gonna prove him wrong."

Preston nodded, grinning. Now THAT was a pep talk, he thought. Preston walked back to the center of the room, standing across from Eric, as Burnie set the velvet bag down on the table between them, indicating it was the prize. After a brief moment of silence, Burnie nodded, and the two men drank. It took a few minutes, both men thinking about it. Erics eyes finally lit up, and he grinned.

"It's definitely just your typical white grape," Eric said, "but..."

He tasted his mouth again, and now began to look concerned.

"It's odd, there's no flavor outside of the wine. Usually the cask will impart some kind of flavoring," he said, "but this is flavorless."

Preston, however, was still thinking, and then he grinned.

"Eric's right," Preston said, "it is just white grape. And it is flavorless. But it's flavorless because it was aged in concret, which allows for micro-oxygenation, which is similar to barrel except that it doesn't impart aromas or flavors."

Burnie grinned, and nodded.

"Sorry Eric," he said, "but Preston's correct."

Eric groaned and sat back down as Burnie picked up his bottle and gave a little salute as he exited the room, Delia right behind him, while Preston waved at Eric.

"It was nice playin' with you," he said, "enjoy your free stuff."

And with that, the gang was out the door, their bottle saved.

                                                                              ***

Sitting in a nearby late night greasy diner, Burnie admired the bottle in his hands, sitting across from Delia, and next to Flo. Delia was seated beside Preston.

"You know," Burnie said, "that was impressive, man. I'm thoroughly impressed."

"I always worry people see me like people see him," Preston said.

"Naw man," Flo said, "you're the real thing. He's just the facade. You actually have knowledge. You just don't dress like an asshole."

As Flo lifted her sandwich to her mouth, Burnie cocked his head and looked at her hand, pointing at it.

"What is that?" he asked.

"It's a phone number," Flo said, "...one of the girls he was with gave me her number."

Everyone grinned, and congratulated her. Burnie then finally looked across the table at Delia, who was visually salivating at the bottle. He sighed and handed it to her.

"It's all yours for 500," he said.

"You got a deal," she replied.

Delia whipped out her checkbook, wrote him a check and then took the bottle. As Burnie folded the check and pocketed it in his coats breast pocket, patting it down proudly, Delia uncorked the bottle and poured herself some in her now empty water glass. She toasted them all, then lifted the bottle to her lips and took a long sip before her eyes bugged out and she spit it into her napkin quickly.

"That's fucking vile!" she shouted, everyone in the diner turning to look at her, "I paid 500 dollars for that?! It's like licking rusty nails!"

"Let the buyer beware," Burnie said, laughing.

"You son of a bitch, Miller!" Delia shouted, as the group laughed at her, which only caused Delia herself to crack a smile as they continued somewhat jokingly bickering into the evening. They were the cultural elites worst nightmare, Flo was honest when she said that, but they were also one anothers only company, and frankly, that was more than enough for them.

What's a little sour grapes between friends.

Burnie Miller pulled up in his car - his new electric car that he'd only had for a few weeks - and parked in the lot amongst the other vehicles. He got out of the car, straightened his tie and watched as another car pulled up a few cars away from his and also parked, before Delia Pleek climbed out in a stunning short, tight black dress and her beautiful chocolate brown hair down up in a bun. The twos eyes caught eachother, and the smiled.

"Nice car," Delia said, grabbing her pocketbook from her seat and stuffing it under her arm as she adjusted a bracelet around her wrist.

"It's my new baby," Burnie said, glancing back at his vehicle.

"Sounds like a painful delivery squeezing that thing out," Delia remarked, the two of them chuckling.

"Well, you know, I'll cherish the memories, soon enough they'll be all grown up and off to car college," Burnie said as Delia walked towards him, reached out and adjusted his tie, which made him a bit nervous. After she was finished, she patted it down, then stepped back and, folding her arms, smiled at him.

"You did it wrong," she said.

"You some sort of tie expert now too, in addition to the wine?"

Just then another car came turning into the lot, its tires angrily screeching as it rolled into a spot between the two cars and came to a slow crawl as the drivers side door opened and, stumbling out of it, came Flo (Florence) Stevens . With her braided hair and her dazzling smile matched with her awful fashion sense, she stopped and looked between Burnie and Delia before scoffing and shaking her head.

"What?" Burnie asked.

"You guys willingly chose to park here, they made me park here," Flo said, "that's discrimination."

"How is it discrimination? Because your car is an ugly old beater?" Delia asked as Flo slammed her door shut and adjusted her hat before putting her hands on her hips.

"Yes, exactly, they don't want me bringing down the look of the club," she replied.

"First of all, I don't think you can discriminate against a nonsentient inanimate object," Burnie said, "secondly, I chose to park here because it makes more sense than trusting some teenage valet to haphazardly park my new car that's barely had time for the new car smell to leave it."

"I'll make sure it leaves it if you want," Flo said, "I'll get wine sick and throw up all inside that bitch."

Together, the three of them began heading through the lot, going to the main estate, Burnie and Delia walking closely together, Flo sideyeing them as they did. Flo had long since suspected something had either happened between them or was eventually bound to, but had no definitive proof so she ignored it mostly.

"I like your hat, Florence," Delia said.

"Don't call me by my full name," Flo grumbled.

"It's a compliment, take it," Burnie said, "Lord knows how rarely she gives those out. They're in high demand."

"Oh she can compliment me all she wants, just don't call me by my full name," Flo said.

Just then, coming around the corner and, clearly heading to the lot, came a classic Camero, bright and shiny. Burnie, Flo and Delia stopped and watched as the car came to a crawl beside them and the window rolled down, revealing Preston Plummer, sitting behind the wheel in a leather jacket and sunglasses, a heavy stubble on his face. The three of them stared at him momentarily before Burnie admired the car.

"Wow, slick ride," Burnie said.

"It's my dads," Preston responded quietly.

"What about the leather jacket, that your dads too?" Flo asked, jokingly.

"...yes," Preston whispered, before putting his window back up and driving away towards the lot, the three of them snickering amongst themselves. Flo always knew that, even if she was a fuck up, Preston might be even lamer, and that made her feel better about herself.

                                                                             ***

Ivana Blomp was not someone the group was familiar with, at least personally.

In fact, they'd been trying for years to get into her Wine & Dine event, but it'd always been packed to the gills. However, Burnie had recently done an event with his childrens school, and had befriended Ivana there, and she'd been so impressed by his candor and personality that she openly invited him and his guests to attend this years Wine & Dine. When Flo, Preston and Delia got told they were actually going to be able to go, each one reacted differently - Delia with absolute delight, Flo with indifference, and Preston with curiousity - but all were seemingly excited regardless. Now standing in the foyer of her property, admiring the wine racks on the walls, Burnie couldn't help but feel like this was a dream come true.

"God, I hate high ceilings," Delia said, looking upwards, causing the other three to do the same.

"...yeah, that's way too high," Burnie said.

"Be a good height to hang oneself from," Flo muttered, and everyone looked at her; she shrugged and added, "What? Just a fact."

"Yeah, well, try to keep 'em to a minimum. These are high class people, and we're just people pretending to be high class people. Well, except Delia, she's actually kind of high class," Burnie said as they headed further into the large home, teeming with guests - a wine glass in everyone's hand as was the case with tastings - as Burnie's eyes scanned the room for Ivana. She was tall, lithe, with small shoulders and long sleek bright blonde hair. The usual kind of woman one would see at a runway model show or perhaps a debutant ball. More than anything, his goal was to thank her for the invitation, introduce her to the others, and then spend the remainder of the evening drinking wine.

"Hey, check this out," Flo said, nudging Burnie, who turned to look at the small statue on a little table by the doorway.

"What is it?" Delia asked.

"I've heard stories about this, they call it 'art'," Preston said, making the group chuckle.

"Burnie!" a voice said, as an older balding man in a ash grey suit approached them, his tiny round spectacles bouncing on the bridge of his nose with every step her took.

"Oh god," Burnie mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

"Who is that?" Delia asked.

"It's Charlie Fletcher," Burnie said, his voice low, "he's on the local wine tasters association board, he's often one of the people they look to for managing events, finding venues, things like that. He's absolutely insufferable."

"Burnie Miller!" Charlie said, reaching out and shaking his hand.

"Charlie Fletcher, good to see you again," Burnie said.

"You mean that?" Charlie asked, grinning.

"Oh, do I mean it? Then no," Burnie replied, the both of them laughing.

One of the few things Burnie had discovered about the semi-elite after spending quantities of time amongst them at various wine tasting events was that they often too your outright cruelty as ironic humor, and couldn't tell when they were genuinely being insulted. Burnie decided a long time ago to use this to his advantage, to make it easier to be around them and so far it had served him well.

"I didn't know you were coming!" Charlie said, adjusting his bow tie, "this is actually a pretty high profile event, you know? One of the 'bigs' of the season, so I just...I'd never seen you here, so I didn't expect to see you here. How'd you get in? It's tough to get an invite."

"Ivana's daughters go to my kids school," Burnie said, "simple as that. We became cordial, she invited me, and I, in turn, invited my...is it right to call you guys friends?" he asked, turning and looking at them with a look of delight on his face.

"Friends seems a little personal, honestly," Delia said.

"I prefer antagonists," Flo replied, shrugging.

"These are people I...wish I didn't know," Burnie said, the entire group smirking, "so I invited them because they've always wanted to come to this. Do you know where we might get glasses and get started on tasting?"

"Actually, Ivana doesn't serve the good stuff until the meal," Charlie said, "that's the whole idea of 'Wine & Dine', get it? She wanted it to be different from the other tasting events, so she figured she'd pair each tasting with a different dish."

The group stared at Charlie with a look of absolute horror on their face.

"And...and just how many wines are there to taste?" Burnie asked.

"I think this year she's sharing around 17."

"...I'm expected to eat 17 meals?" Flo asked, her voice low.

"They're small dishes, appetizers, and nobody is forcing you to eat them," Charlie said, "it's just the way the event is situated."

"Burnie!" another voice called, and this time they finally saw Ivana approaching them; she was wearing a long, glittering white dress with gold flecks adorning it, her hair done up in a neat bun, her makeup flawless, likely done by a professional hours beforehand; as she reached them and shook his hand, she said, "Um, there's a situation. I don't have enough room for everyone. Because your invite came so late, and because you invited people, one of your party is going to have to be seated elsewhere."

"Like the kids table?" Preston asked, as Flo smacked him in the arm.

"What kind of wine tasting event has a kids table?" she hissed, as he reached up and rubbed his arm where she'd hit him.

"I don't know, a house full of drunks at Thanksgiving?" Preston responded.

"Please, discuss amongst yourselves which of you will be okay sitting table adjacent," Ivana said, "I have to go make sure everything is almost ready."

As Ivana left, Charlie also said goodbye and followed after her, leaving the group alone. Burnie turned and faced the other three, all of whom looked at one another, none of them exactly eager to volunteer to sit away from everyone else, which meant that it would come down to their usual way of making a decision...Short Cork. This had ben a thing they'd started shortly after meeting at various wine tastings, and had had trouble making decisions, so Burnie invented Short Cork. The premise was simple: it was essentially the short straw, but with corks. He'd take out the corks, put them in a cup you couldn't see through, and then have everyone reach in and draw one out. Whoever got the Short Cork was the loser. They tried to agree that whoever got the Short Cork didn't take it personally.

But exclusion is rarely met with such understanding and acceptance.

                                                                            ***

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is?" Flo asked, looking up at Burnie. She was seated on a tiny ottomon at the end of the table next to him. Burnie looked down at her and smirked.

"I'm sorry little girl, what was that?" Burnie asked.

"You're a real dick, you know that?" Flo replied.

Burnie turned to his other side and looked at Delia, who was happily sipping away from her glass while picking up and pushing into her mouth another small appetizer - this one goat cheese and smoked salmon on a bed of caviar - before washing it down with more wine and making a horrible face before looking at the glass in her hand.

"I don't care what year this is, nothing's gonna make up for rich peoples poor excuse for a diet," Delia muttered, making Burnie smirk; Delia looked at Preston beside her and asked, "what do you think?"

"I think I should've stayed home," he replied, looking at the same snack in his hand, "the wine is good enough, but these appetizers leave a lot to be desired. In fact I'd go so far as to saying they're an outright insult to the term, as they're not remotely 'appetizing' in the least. If anything, I think I'll never be hungry again after this."

Burnie felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Charlie behind him, who then jerked his head to the side, indicating he wanted Burnie to follow him. Burnie nodded, tapped Delia on the arm and, together, they got up and followed Charlie. As they walked away from the table, Flo and Preston looking at them before looking at eachother, Flo cleared her throat and eyed his chair.

"Do you think I would get in trouble for sitting in his seat?" Flo asked, and Preston shrugged.

                                                                              ***

Charlie opened the door to the room they'd stopped in front of, allowing Delia and Burnie to enter before entering behind them and shutting the door again. He then turned on a light, illuminating the beautiful wine cellar Ivana had, which made Delia genuinely gasp and even Burnie did a double take.

"Does she know you-" Burnie started, before Charlie interrupted him.

"She does, and I think you are the perfect candidate," Charlie said.

"Candidate for what? You're not gonna harvest my organs, are you?" Burnie asked, making Deliah chuckle.

"You're here to decide which wine shall be our topper for the night," Charlie said, approaching one of the shelves and, pulling a small rag from his pocket, slid one of the bottles out from its cubby, before turning towards them, grinning and adding, "Every year, Ivana pulls one person from the dinner to make the decision for our final wine of the night, and this year she left it up to me, and since you're new here, I figured you deserved to make that choice."

"That's a lot of responsibility," Delia said.

"It most certainly is," Charlie said.

"I'm a dad, I can handle responsibility," Burnie said.

"You left your daughter at tennis practice last week for an extra 2 hours because you flat out forgot she was there," Delia said as Charlie handed Burnie the wine.

"I remembered eventually," Burnie remarked, as he admired the label on the bottle; after a moment or two of reading it he looked up and said, "this is from 1997. This is old old. Is this even still safe to drink?"

"Can't be anymore dangerous than the food," Delia mumbled, to which Charlie snickered and nodded, taking his glasses from his face and wiping them down.

"Yes, that certainly was dreadful wasn't it," he said, before hearing someone calling to him and excusing himself momentarily. Burnie turned the wine bottle over in his hands, looking at it again while Delia watched as Charlie exited, the door shutting behind him, before she turned to Burnie.

"This is awful, why did you invite us?" she asked, lowering her voice.

"I didn't know we were expected to feast like kings on food made out of peasants," Burnie replied, his voice a harsh hiss, "I have no idea she was going to be serving this much food or that the food would be this god awful, alright? I was tyring to be nice! We all were curious about this event for years, so when the opportunity arose I snatched it!"

Burnie looked from Delia to the bottle and sucked his lip before nodding.

"We should teach her a lesson," Delia said, and Burnie nodded.

"Screw Ivana and screw her despicable pallet," he said in agreement.

                                                                            ***

Preston handed Flo a new appetizer, this time one that was visually incomprehensible in terms of its ingrediants. Flo recoiled as he placed it in her hand and smirked.

"Okay, now...the rule is I asked the chef what's in it, and he told me, so now you have to guess each ingrediant, of which there are 3, and if you win, you get five bucks," Preston said, as Flo nodded, opening her mouth and preparing to eat it before stopping.

"First prove you even have five bucks," she said.

"Seriously?" Preston asked, eyebrows raised, "You don't trust I have cash on me?"

"You showed up in your dads car AND jacket," Flo replied, "who's to say you have anything an adult would have."

"Does it matter if the money was also my dads?"

"Goddamn you're sad," Flo muttered before popping the appetizer into her mouth and chewing momentarily, before starting to gag, her eyes widened; she forced herself to swallow and then quickly grabbed the nearest glass and downed it, without even caring whose it was; as she wiped her mouth on her arm she sputtered, "that was downright vile."

Preston threw his head back and laughed, before fishing his wallet out from his pocket and pulling it open, pulling out a five dollar bill and waving it at her.

"Alright, remember what's at stake here," he said.

"Yeah, your allowance, apparently," Flo said, sneering, thinking about what was in what she'd just eaten. After a moment said started counting, holding up a single finger for each count, saying, "Well, one flavor was unmistakably fish. These people love their goddamned fish. Second would be..."

Flo made a face and investigated the aftertaste momentarily before snapping her fingers.

"Second is definitely blue cheese," she said, "Bluecheese, absolutely, I would know that taste anywhere, generally because it's been forced upon me more often than I'd like to admit throughout my life. These people can't even pick good cheese, let alone wine."

"You're two for three, bring it home," Preston said, leaning back and grinning as he waved the bill in her face.

Flo took a long pause and smacked her lips, thinking. She finally sighed, rolled her eyes and shrugged.

"I have no idea," Flo said.

"None at all?" Preston asked, and Flo shook her head as he sat up and put the bill back in his pocket before saying, "shaved Walnut."

A look of terror came over Flo's back as he laughed, but then quickly stopped when he saw her expression.

"Wh...what is it?" he asked.

"Shaved Walnut?" she asked quietly, "Nuts make me sick."

"Not like deathly, right?"

"No, but still, I could easily-"

Just then Burnie and Delia arrived back at the table, bottle of wine in Burnie's hand, immediately interrupting the conversation.

"Where'd you get that lil number?" Preston asked, pulling his sunglasses off and looking at the wine bottle.

"This came from Ivana's personal wine cellar," Burnie said, "apparently every year she has a guest pick out the finisher, and I guess this year I'm the lucky recipient."

Ivana walked up to them and Burnie handed her the bottle, which she graciously took, thanking him as she moved past. As she walked away, Burnie and Delia smirked at one another, confusing Preston who furrowed his brow at them.

"What are you guys so happy about?" he asked.

"What's wrong with her?" Delia asked, looking at Flo, who had now put a hand over her mouth.

At the other end of the table, Ivana stood tall and proud, holding the bottle in her hand as she tapped against it gently with a knife, getting her guests attention. Everyone stopped chatting and looked in her direction, going quiet, allowing her to speak.

"This year's been another rousing success," Ivana said, "and of course it couldn't have been done without my fabulous chefs, Charlie Fletcher and, of course, our guest of the evening, Mr. Burnie Miller, who's picked out our finisher wine for the years event. So, without further ado, let us open up Burnie's pick and partake in the final tasting of the evening."

Someone handed Ivana a corkscrew, which she took, thanking them, as she jabbed it into the cork and twisted, popping it out before pouring herself the first glass. She set the bottle on the table - this was tradition, apparently, she always went first while everyone else waited - and lifted the glass to her lips, taking a nice long sip. After a moment of pausing after the sip, she pursed her lips as a mortified look spread across her face. She then looked at Burnie, her eyes slanted in anger, as she stormed around the table.

"Is this your idea of a joke?" she asked, "What did you do to this, because it's so clearly not what you picked."

"I can't help it if your wine has gone bad," Burnie said, shrugging.

"Burnie," Flo said, tugging at his sleeve, while Ivana continued berating him.

"I want to know what you did with the actual wine you chose," Ivana said, hand on her hip like a frustrated mother, "because you've clearly done something either to it or swapped it or-"

"Burnie," Flo repeated, tugging at him again, now getting Ivana's attention as she turned to look at Flo, who was starting to stand up.

"Ma'am, we are in the middle of an important discourse, so if you could just have a modicum of patience, that would be-"

And then, without warning, Flo put her hands on Ivana's shoulders and vomited all over the front of her dress. Everyone scooted away from the table immediately, except Preston who doubled over in laughter, tears streaming down his face. After she finished, and glanced up to see the mortified look on Ivana's face, Flo grimaced weakly and shrugged.

"...sorry?" she said softly.

The group was escorted off the premises fairly quickly.

                                                                               ***

Parked on a lookout, where teenagers often drove to make out on, the group - who were all seated on the hood of Preston's dads car - were having a much better evening now than they were the entire time at Ivana Blomps. Sitting there, Flo still somewhat sick and Delia helping her drink water from a straw so as not to drink too much to settle her stomach, Burnie just shook his head and clasped his hands.

"Well, I can safely say after having attended it that I don't see the big deal. It wasn't like she even served anything of note or particular interest," Burnie said, "I think she only does well because she's wealthy."

"I will admit," Flo said after taking a long sip of water, "her being a total snob made vomiting on her feel a lot less worse than had she been a nice person."

"You guys, be careful not to sit on the hood too hard, my dad will get mad if there's indents," Preston said, almost hovering over the car as Burnie reached into his coat pocket to retrieve something.

"Thankfully," Burnie said, "I was able to swipe this with no issues."

He held up a bottle that had the wine he and Delia and exchanged it for, the 97 wine sloshing around against the glass. He stood up and tried to pry the cork back out, but was unable to do so, struggling and grunting.

"Be careful," Preston said, sounding nervy.

"After all that, I don't know if I could drink more to be honest," Flo said, "and Preston, I know it wasn't your fault cause you didn't know, but if you ever get me sick like that again, I will kill you and bury you in your dads car."

"Gimme that," Delia said, standing up and taking the bottle from Burnie, "there's an old trick to opening these, see, you just have to-"

And within a second the cork blasted from its orifice, smashing into the windshield of Prestons fathers car. Everyone stood around, trying not to laugh, as Preston hopped off the hood and started gesturing towards it, causing them all, even Flo, to crack up. Delia said she'd pay to get it replaced tonight, and apologized, and despite Preston being annoyed, he couldn't help but laugh a little himself.

Flo was right.

Antagonist was the right word for these people.