Gently rocking. The soft sound of water. A dim, orange light slipping in through the slivers of the windowshades. Alexis put her arm up over her face, and then gasped in surprise as Rick mounted her and looked down into her eyes. She blushed deeply and grinned, putting her arms around his neck.

"Good morning," he said.

"It will be, once you get to work," Alexis replied, making him laugh. They didn't leave the sleeping space of the boat for another hour at least, making it almost rock harder than the waves themselves did. Alexis had never expected to get railed on the high seas, but who knew, she truly was a pirate at heart after all.

Alexis and Rick had spent the last handful of months away from society, just on the boat, occasionally docking whereever and grabbing snacks, supplies, whatnot. Between his shared account with his sister for the bakery and Alexis having saved up a bit of money from work herself, the two knew they would be fine for a while. And that while? Well, that while was the happiest she'd ever been in her life. Walking across sandy white beaches in her bare feet, holding the hand of a man who dug for hermit crabs with the intense enthusiasm usually reserved only for a Golden Retriever searching for a previously buried bone. Laying on the deck of the boat under the slowly sinking golden sunlight as night approached, each not saying a word, opting instead to simply let the gentle waves do the talking. Using fishing poles they'd bought on the cheap to sit on the occasional harbor and fish and smoke, all the while discussing plans for their inevitable return and what they could do together once they were on more solid footing, with a good foundation beneath them.

And then, one morning, while laying in bed together after a particularly energectic tryst, Alexis sighed and sat up, Rick back asleep beside her, and she looked around the cabin. She knew. It was time to go home. But she wasn't scared, as she glanced down at Rick, snoring, and instead she smiled, leaning down and kissing his head, before getting up, heading to the console, and setting sail for land.

They docked, the unpacked, Rick never making a big deal about anything, just happy to be back by her side, and they climbed into the car they'd left in the lot when they'd ran off. Alexis turned the key and headed off. Elsewhere, across town, John was making breakfast. Ellen sat at the table, awaiting food as she watched TV. John sipped from his coffee mug and smirked as he glanced over at Ellen. It was so nice having her around.

"You excited?" he asked, "I'm making chocolate chip pancakes."

Ellen eagerly nodded, with the vigor of an giddy child, as John chuckled at this. A knock. John put his spatula down, and headed towards the front door.

"When we're done eating," he said, "I thought today we might go out, do some stuff outside, maybe go to a zoo or something. It's good to break up the monotony of being in the house all the time, and I took a lot of time off to help you settle in here, so I've got the availability."

He swung the door open, and his entire face changed. There, standing on the porch, was Alexis, Rick a bit behind her, at the bottom of the steps. Alexis smiled softly, tossing her hair from her face, as John bit his lip, before losing to his feelings, and breaking down, grabbing her and pulling her in tightly for a hug unlike any other. Alexis laughed, as did Rick, as she patted him on the back.

"I'm home, dad," she said.

"Yeah. Yes, you are," he whispered in response.

And she was.

***

Jenny Matisse loved to swim.

She was currently standing in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror; critical of every aspect of her body, even in a one piece. She sighed, and ran her hand down her tummy. At least she managed to stay fit, even after everything. Jenny then gathered her bag of supplies, and headed out onto the beach. The sun was bright, the sand warm beneath her feet as she made her way towards the high chair, where she placed her bag down beside it and started the short climb up. Once seated comfortably, Jenny pulled her hair back into a ponytail and pushed her sunglasses onto her face. Nobody was at the beach just yet, but they would be, and it was her duty to protect them.

That's what a lifeguard does, after all.

***

"When did you-" John started, but Alexis interrupted.

"Literally like two hours ago. You're the first place I've come to," she replied.

After letting them inside, Alexis, Rick and John were seated around his coffee table. Ellen was seated a bit aways, curled up in John's old beanbag chair he'd had since college, hugging her legs to her chest, her hoodie pulled over her face. Alexis didn't understand why her own sister didn't seem excited to see her, but she didn't want to push her to interact if she wasn't feeling up to it, so she didn't.

"Where have you two even been?" John asked.

"Where haven't we been?" Rick replied, making Alexis chuckle.

"We spent a lot of time just sailing, or anchoring in the middle of the sea and just...being away from everything. It was...hard," Alexis said, glancing towards Rick, "especially for him, having to go cold turkey in order to do so. Hasn't had any drugs in his system in months now."

"Yeah, it's...kinda wild, being sober," Rick said, "uh, you forget what colors are when your brain is constantly dampened with mind altering chemicals. Not being on anything, and being out somewhere with so much color, it really...it really woke me back up to reality. It was...necessary."

John smiled. He saw, sitting in front of him, himself and his wife. Two drug addict alcoholics who just happened to fall in love, but this time, there was a happy ending. Alexis rested her head on Rick's shoulder and he reached up, gently petting her hair.

"How have things been here? Like, with you, with the company?" Alexis asked, as John raised an eyebrow and she diverted her eyes to the floor, exhaling, "...with Lilian?"

"Good, actually, really...really good. Rina's finding her footing, I've been helping your sister acclimate to the world, figure out how to do whatever it is she wants to, company's honestly never been sturdier. Lilian, though, that's a whole other barrel of monkeys, I gotta say. She has been...distraught, since your exit. I'm not entirely sure how she's going to take seeing you again."

"Yeah, I can't say I blame her," Alexis mumbled.

She had been worried about everyone, but Lilian had taken the front of her brain the entire time, which surprised her. She'd expected John to be the thing she missed most, but oddly enough, it was just her best friend, and she figured the reason must be because, for as much as John loved her, and even chose to adopt her, support her, Lilian had been there first. Lilian had never turned her back on her like the others had. She had always looked out for Alexis and her well being. She was a hell of a best friend.

"Is it weird, being back on dry land?" John asked.

"Well, you know how there's that term sea legs?" Rick asked, and John nodded as Rick added, "I still don't know what the hell it means, but I think I have 'em now."

John started laughing, which made them laugh. A perfect reunion. It was good to be home.

***

Jenny was standing on the pier, in front of the sandwich shop, watching the girl who worked there, almost exclusively by herself, prepare her sandwich. Jenny pulled her sunglasses down and scanned her eyes across the nearby beach, just to make sure everything was fine. She was on break, but she still took her duties seriously.

"You have excellent taste in sandwiches." the girl, Ramona, said.

"Do I?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah, seriously," Ramona replied, "like, the stuff you ask me to make isn't even on the menu and it's better than the menu. You give me purpose."

Jenny laughed, causing Ramona to blush as Jenny turned to face her now, sunglasses still pulled down, resting gently on the bridge of her nose, her big soft brown eyes exposed, the long lashes glinting in the sunlight. Ramona blushed even harder. While Jenny was nearing her fourties, Ramona was only 22, still in college, but neither one cared. Jenny reached over the counter and took Ramona's jaw in her hand gently, pulling her towards her and kissing her.

"As do you," she whispered.

Jenny had met Ramona a few weeks after Ramona had started this job. It had been Ramona's first week, and Jenny was more than happy to provide her with company when she could, and Ramona, well, she was hopeless against Jenny's charms. She'd always had a thing for older women. Ramona put the sandwich stuff in her hands down, grabbed Jenny's face and kissed her back hard, making Jenny laugh as their tongues intertwined. Kissing Jenny felt like tasting heaven, and Ramona couldn't get enough of it.

"So," Jenny said, after the kiss broke, "you interested in coming with me to the carnival on the pier tonight?"

"Oh I'm so interested," Ramona said, "I love rides and carnival food, you can't keep me away."

"We'll go on the tunnel of love," Jenny said, "swan boats, romantic music, all that cute stuff."

"That sounds wonderful," Ramona said, the both of them blushing now, as she went back to finishing Jenny's sandwich. The two were an odd pair to outsiders, especially those who think any age gap of any kind is somehow akin to predatory behavior, but neither one cared. Each had the others back and best interests at heart. After the sandwich was finished, Jenny took it, paid and headed back to the beach, turning and blowing a kiss to Ramona as she did, making her all the more giddy.

Ramona had never anticipated that the woman she fell hard for would be a lifeguard, but it kind of made sense, considering how bad her life had been until she met her.

***

John and Rick were standing outside as Rick smoked a cigarette. Alexis was inside with Ellen, so the guys were giving them privacy. Leaning against the trailer, Rick offered John the cigarette, but he politely declined, waving it away with a smile. Rick shrugged and continued smoking.

"I'm gonna say something to you," John said.

"You mean besides that?" Rick asked.

"Don't get smart, or I'll hit you."

"Ooh, yes daddy," Rick remarked, making John cackle. Once he'd regained his composure, he continued.

"I don't know what your family life was like, and I don't know if this will mean anything coming from a man you barely know, but...as a former drug addict myself, I'm proud of you," John said, reaching out and putting a hand on Rick's shoulder. Rick glanced over at the hand, then up to John's face; John smiled and continued, "seriously, I'm proud as hell, especially the way you did it. That had to be rough. Chills, vomiting, like, you're stronger than me, man."

"...I didn't have a choice," Rick said, "she needed me. Nobody...nobody's ever needed me, before, but she needed me. It isn't like I'm some loser who's never had luck with girls, I have actually been quite successful on that front, actually, not to brag. But with Alex, there's just...from the day I saw her, I couldn't stop seeing her, even when I closed my eyes."

"Yeah, that's how certain women get you," John said, thinking about his wife, "I was hit with the same thing. Love is crazy. One day it's nonexistent or seemingly unimportant, and the next it's all encompassing once you meet that person."

"It wasn't just that. I was selfish. I was...I wasn't a great person before I met her. Especially not to the people I was involved with. Now I'm not saying I was abusive, but I was distant and kind of standoffish, even when we were together. Never cheated on any of them or hit them or yelled or anything like that, but I was so closed off, and I could tell it hurt each and every one of them deeply. I knew I had to make up for it. I had to prove to myself that I was, in actuality, capable of being someone someone else could lean on."

John nodded solemnly, taking it all in. Rick turned the cigarette over a few times between his fingers, one foot nervously tapping into the dirt.

"Thank you, by the way, for being proud of me," he said quietly.

"It's my pleasure. Nobody ever said it to me, so I figured somebody needed to say it to you," John replied.

Inside, Alexis and Ellen were sitting together on the bean bag chair, both cross legged, facing one another. Ellen still had the hood over her head, the sleeves pulled over her hands, seemingly hiding inside this hoodie, and Alexis didn't understand why.

"Has John been good to live with?" Alexis asked and Ellen nodded but didn't speak; Alexis continued, "okay, well, are you comfortable here or would you like to maybe move back in with me, and Rick?"

No answer.

"Ellen, what's going on with you?" Alexis asked.

"I can't gain weight," she whispered, and Alexis got said.

"What do you mean? You've been eating, right?"

"Mhm, very well. John cooks a lot, and he cooks good food, and we eat out a lot too," Ellen said, "but I can't put any weight on, and I'm scared. I'm somehow even thinner than I was before, and it's making me so tired all the time. I wanna do things. I wanna go to school. But I never have any energy and I'm instead spending a ton of time sleeping."

Alexis reached out, holding her hand out. Ellen cautiously placed her own in Alexis's palm, and Alexis squeezed, gently, warmly, causing Ellen to smile weakly.

"We'll get you there, okay?" Alexis said, "we will, I promise, it'll be okay. If I can get better, Ellen, anyone can."

John and Rick re-entered the trailer, and Alexis looked up.

"I need to speak with John for a minute," she said, as she stood up and grabbed him by the sleeve, tugging him into another room, leaving Ellen and Rick alone together. Once in the back bedroom where John slept, Alexis locked the door.

"What's up? Are you okay?" John asked.

"...you're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you," Alexis said, "but it isn't cause of Rick, or having saved my sister, or coming home that fixed me. It wasn't even rehab, in the end. It's cause of the boat."

"Well I imagine that makes sense, you had a traumatic incident in the water as a child, nearly died, so to then live on water, yeah, I get that," John said as Alexis hugged herself and shook her head.

"No, not that boat. We went on another boat," she said, smiling softly, "...a swan boat."

***

The ride was fairly empty, seeing as most people wanted to enjoy the more fast paced thrilling rides that the pier carnival offered, but this just meant more privacy for Jenny and Ramona, who were nestled together in one of the boats as it driftly slowly down the current on the guided path, soft romantic music playing overhead, the lights pink and dim but soft and romantic. Ramona closed her eyes and laid into Jenny, who held her closely, kissing the top of her head.

"Did you save anyone today?" Ramona asked.

"Nah, I rarely need to. In fact, my title might be lifeguard, but I almost never have to actually guard lives. It's only happened a few times," Jenny said, "most notable one being when I was just starting doing this, and I was back in college, doing this as a side job for the summer. Had to save a kid."

"Wow, you're a real hero," Ramona said, edging up and kissing Jenny's cheek, causing her to blush.

"It's claustrophobic," a voice said behind them. Jenny glanced over her shoulder and spotted a man and a woman sitting in the swan boat directly behind them, the man holding the womans hand. She smiled.

"It can be," Jenny said, catching their attention now as she added, "sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it's kinda hard when there's nobody else here to make conversation around you."

"It's fucked up," the woman said, "we've been living on a boat for months, and yet this makes me nervous."

"Why?" Jenny asked.

"Bad association with water," the woman said, "I almost drowned when I was a little girl. But you'd think being on a boat for so long would change that, and yet in here I'm struggling."

"It's okay to struggle, especially when you survived something so horrible," Jenny said, "I'm sorry that happened to you. I've learned that I can't let things define me, solely because as a human we're just, ya know, amalgamations of all the things that created us, who we are today, and so to let one singular moment make me the person I am, control everything about me, it just feels...unfair, right, to all the other things and moments that did the same, had the same impact."

The woman looked at Jenny now, listening closely. Jenny smirked and shrugged.

"At a certain point, you're faced with a realization and a decision; the realization is that you are whoever you decide to be that day. Sometimes it's inspired by moments you wish it wasn't, but that's okay, we can't be perfect and healthy all the time. And so long as you have someone who loves and supports you, as it seems you do, then you'll be alright. That's the realization."

"And what's the decision?" the woman asked quietly, her breath barely a whisper, as if she were being fed important information from the universe itself.

"...to choose to live that way," Jenny said, "Like you, I was faced with a horrible moment on a beach, saving a little girl from drowning when I was in college, and for a long time it stuck with me, but when I realized it wasn't my end all be all origin story, that I could choose to live differently every day, that was the moment I really became me. And I'm not saying it's easy, that you just wake up and choose to be a better version of yourself every day. Some days you're gonna fuck up majorly, and some days you're gonna be really sick, and some days you won't be able to separate yourself from the bad moments and will instead live in them. But that's okay. They all make up who we are. We just can't let any one of them define us."

The woman sat back in the boat, not realizing she had leaned in as close as she had, her mouth ajar. Jenny smiled at her, then turned back to conversing with Ramona. The man leaned into the woman and whispered.

"You alright, Alex?" Rick asked, and she nodded slowly, a smile slowly growing on her face, more genuine than any smile she'd had before in her life. She thought about telling the woman. She thought about stopping her outside the ride and thanking her. But she didn't. That would antithetical to the very concept she had been presented with mere moments prior. So Alexis let Jenny Matisse walk away. And that...

...that was the moment she realized, that she really was healed.

***

"Fucking hellllll," John said, sitting on his bed and listening as Alexis told him this story, leaning against his bedroom door, nodding in agreement; John sucked air in through his teeth and then asked, "Are you...okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, actually. In fact I'm better than fine," Alexis said, "the next day, I asked around and found out she was the lifeguard there. Contemplated talking to her again, still chose not to. The old me would've dragged it out. Seen it as this, like, life altering moment, a thing of closure after so much, but...I don't. Not now. Now I see it for what it is, what she said it was. Just...another moment that happened, in a long line of moments that happen."

"Alexis, jesus, you're like a whole different person," John said quietly.

"Her name was Jenny Matisse, French, I think," Alexis said, "that was all the info I needed, really."

Alexis sat down beside John and he put his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I studied French in college," John said, "there was this girl I was into, she was French, so I was trying to do whatever I could to impress her, as dumb guys often do. And you're right, that is a French surname. But, do you know what it means?"

Alexis shook her head.

"It means Gift of God, Alexis," John continued, "her surname means Gift of God."

Alexis chuckled, shaking her head again as she looked at her shoes.

"Well if that ain't fucking' perfect," she said, making John laugh with her.

Hours upon hours of scrolling. Thousands of articles, listacles, seemingly private records of addresses and phone numbers, all leading to the inevitable dead end that always seemed to loom just around the corner. At this point, what had been a somewhat Sherlockian effort at the start had now simply become exhausting; a question without an answer, a mystery with no answer as to whodunit. And, frankly, Lilian was ready to call it quits. She had contemplated hiring a PA, but that just felt like another avenue that would turn up nothing in exchange for monetary fees. She'd wasted enough time and resources on this, at this point, she figured.

And then, one morning, she found a name.

Alicia Browning. This was the first actual name linked to the incident in question. Somebody had named the woman who had died. Not a family member, but it was a start at least. Sadly for Lilian, the surname of 'Browning' was so damn universal that finding a relative now felt like an even bigger needle in a haystack. But her determination had paid off. She'd managed, somehow, through link hopping across dozens upon dozens of dead end domains full of defunct blogs and newssites, finally come across one post, one singular post, that had a name for the woman in question, and if that didn't feel like success, then she didn't know what would.

So, she figured, if she couldn't find another Browning, then she'd do the next best thing. She'd track down the poster.

The things we do for closure.

***

"Your job sounds so cool," Kate said.

She and Miranda had gone out for breakfast that morning. Miranda had considered asking Lilian to accompany them, but she figured it was best to not only leave her to her research, but also have some one on one time with her sister.

"It has its perks," Miranda said, shrugging, scooping eggs and bacon together on her fork, "it's definitely unique, I can say that with pride and certainty. Nobody really gets to do what we do, and we bring a very specific kind of joy to children, so it's cool."

"Do you think...maybe...I could do it?" Kate asked, shifting the contents of her plate around absentmindedly, looking down at the table, as if expecting rejection to her proposal. She was doing better, eating, but she still struggled, and Miranda noticed it this morning. She moved food around more than she ate it. Still, patience was required, and maybe having a physical job would make her feel better about herself and entice her more to eat.

"I'd have to ask my boss," Miranda said, shrugging, "but I guess I don't really see the downside exactly. Still, things are...wonky, at the office, like, at all times, so it might be a bit before I get the chance to approach her with the idea."

"Howdy pard'ners," Tyler said, settling himself in beside Miranda.

"Heya Sherrif," Miranda replied, elbowing him playfully, "how was your gig?"

"Exhausting. I get why they schedule kids parties in the morning, cause the little shits are up and rarin' to go, but christ if it ain't wearin' me out," Tyler said, taking his hat off and fanning himself with it, causing both Miranda and Kate to exchange a playful look, both giggling.

"Your character is starting to seep into your personality, you are aware of that, right? You're not on the clock anymore, you don't have to talk like a cast member of Gunsmoke," Miranda said, causing Kate to finally break and laugh.

"You can take the cow out of the boy but you can't take the boy out of the cow," Tyler said, before screwing up his face and adding, "ew. That...that sounded better in my head."

The girls completely lost it, cackling maniacally as Tyler smiled and ordered from a passing waitress. After the laughter had subsided, Miranda turned to Tyler and nodded.

"Do you...my god that was funny, thank you for that. Um, but, do you think Helena would let my sister work with us?" Miranda asked, "I mean, theoretically, the more performers on payroll, the more jobs we can cover, right? So it would make sense for her to be okay with the concept."

"See, the thing you're doing though is viewing Helena's business decisions through a practical lens. That woman is...a mystery," Tyler said as the waitress returned with his coffee, "um, I mean, your logic is correct, yes, but who's to say that's also how she would respond. I don't know. What character would you like to be, exactly?"

Kate looked between her sister and Tyler in confusion.

"Ch-character?" she asked, stammering, "What, uh...what do you mean?"

"Well, like me, I'm a cowboy," Tyler said, "Your sister is a mermaid, Lilian is a princess, Alexis...was a pirate. We each have our archetype and we play into that, often to themed parties. So I think your best thing to do is go into a meeting with Helena with something already crafted, you know, that way she can tell you're earnest about your inclusion and committment to the role."

Kate nodded, smiling, taking it all in. She then finally stopped talking, and, instead, started eating once again, which made Miranda in turn smile warmly. Miranda looked at Tyler, who was sipping his coffee from the mug as the waitress returned with his order, a plate of bacon and eggs, and he unsheathed his knife and fork from their napkin.

"Looks like a meal fit for a man of the west," Miranda said.

"Can't be a sherrif if ya don't eat like a farmhand," Tyler replied, the both of them laughing once again. Nobody would say it, but...without Alexis around, the air felt lighter. Things felt less dramatic. Tyler was at ease, and Miranda and didn't have to worry about Lilian worrying about her best friend. Hurt to acknowledge but it was true. Sometimes the best thing you can do for others, and Miranda knew this firsthand, was go away.

***

Lilian stared at her screen.

She'd gone through the DNS records to track down who owned the IP associated with the site she'd found the article on, and had been returned with one name. Barbara Hawkins. This name, thankfully, turned out to be far less unique than Alicia Browning. In fact, doing a little bit more digging, she easily uncovered a social media trail of Barbara Hawkins that led to numerous accounts, though most seemed to be either completely privated, defunct or outright abandoned after having been wiped. But there was one. One account still up and active, on a site for journalists. And there she was, plain as day, at least Lilian assumed it was her.

She looked like an ordinary woman. A soft skin, blonde haired woman with the typical cozy outfit attire one would expected to see on a woman her age in certain niche internet circles centered around being cozy. A white knit beanie adorning her head, a yellow sweater, and big chunky glasses. A nice smile. She looked welcoming, inviting, and Lilian felt like she had a good shot. So, Lilian brought up her e-mail, copied and pasted Hawkins into the field, and began typing.

And it was only then, about three sentences in, that she started to realize just how utterly batshit what she was doing actually was and how she sounded to a complete and total stranger.

"Hey, I'm looking for information on a woman who threw herself in front of a monorail almost twenty years ago, could you get back to me? I cyber stalked you to get this done, thanks!"

Yeah, that's not creepy and offputting at all. Lilian closed her laptop lid once more, leaned back into the couch and sighed. She needed a break, a breather. She stood up and she headed to the bathroom, intending to get a shower, maybe a bath, and just relax. Let her heart rate slow down. This all felt so intense, so life and death. But, as she passed through the narrow hall, she stopped and looked at a photo hung on the wall of herself and Alexis at a job together, in full costume, and she almost felt like crying.

How could she just...leave.

She knew why. She got it. But context didn't make it hurt any less. She missed her best friend. Wherever she and Rick were, she just hoped they were alright. With that, she walked into the bathroom, locked the door and filled the tub. She then undressed and slid herself into the water, relaxing, closing her eyes. Maybe one day she too would get the chance to run away, even if only for a little while. Some time away may just do her some good.

Though, and she didn't know this at the time, she wasn't the only one struggling with feeling as though she belonged.

***

Rina was standing in the kitchen of an otherwise empty home.

The party was...well, barely a party. The decorations were up, sure - streamers and balloons and decor littered the area - but there were no kids, and the birthday child, a young girl named Ami, was also nowhere to be found. So instead, Rina was standing at the kitchen island, opposite Ami's mother, as she helped her frost cupcakes.

"They wouldn't come," Ami's mother, Gwen, said as she swirled another curled topping to one cupcake; she then wiped her forehead on her brow and added, "I talked to parents, but they wouldn't give in, and the ones that tried couldn't get their kids to relent. It was a hopeless endeavour, all in all."

"That's awful. Why? What was the issue?" Rina asked as she finished another cupcake.

"Ami's always had trouble fitting in," Gwen said, "but especially lately. After her grandfather passed she's been acting out, but not in the ways one would expect a child to. She got really into witchcraft, started reading books about it, watching movies - the ones we'd let her, anyway, that wouldn't give her nightmares - about the subject, and started telling everyone that she was a witch who could communicate with the deceased, said she was going to contact her grandfather."

Rina smiled weakly. She always loved a weird little girl with an active imagination, as it reminded her of herself when she was that age. She continued to listen as Gwen went on.

"I guess," she continued, "it just freaked the other kids out so bad that now nobody wants anything to do with her. Now here I am, single mom, making an entire birthday smorgasbord of treats and delights for a party that didn't happen. I don't mind her having them all to herself, or myself after she goes to bed, but still, she wanted friends, not cupcakes."

Rina nodded. She herself had struggled to be liked when she had been that age, so she got it. Rina set down the frosting applicator on the counter and exhaled, putting her palms flat on the tile, shaking her head.

"Would it help if I spoke to her? I mean, I'm here, she should take advantage of the fact that a real witch is at her party, right?" Rina asked, making Gwen smirk.

"I'm sure it might do her some good. She's in the den," Gwen said, and Rina nodded before turning off on her heel to go find Ami. She walked down the hall, past a bathroom, a bedroom, and then stopped at a little alcove with three steps that entered into a slightly sunken denroom, and there she was. Sitting there, by herself, looking through a book, was Ami. She was wearing a very flowy dress, her hair in two braids, and a stick sitting by her side. Rina entered quietly and stepped across the carpet, before settling in on the floor beside her.

"What are you reading?" Rina asked.

"It's a book about ghosts, and how to talk to them," Ami said, "I'm looking for spells."

"Found any yet?" Rina asked, and Ami shook her head dejectedly.

"Is this your magic wand?" Rina asked, carefully picking up the stick, treating it with the same reverance a child would, and Ami nodded eagerly, starting to smile a little. Rina smirked, adding, "you wanna know the secret to being a witch?"

"Okay," Ami said, turning now to face her, both of them sitting cross legged.

"Okay," Rina said, "the secret to being a witch is all about believing in yourself. See, so many people don't think we have powers, but that's because they're jealous. As such, they won't believe in us, and it's up to us to believe in ourselves. Even if it seems like your spells aren't working, if you believe they are, then they are. Just because the dead might not talk back to you doesn't mean it isn't working."

Ami sniffled and rubbed her nose on her loose fitting dress sleeve. She then reached up and took her pointy witch hat off and placed it in her lap.

"But nobody came to my party cause they're scared of me or think I'm weird," Ami said, "is it better to be myself or to be someone people like?"

Rina felt her heart break a little. Her parents had always been loving, supportive, understanding...but they also held her to impossibly high standards, especially when she was in school. As such, she also had this issue with her peers. Rina spent much of her adolescence alone or only with her family, teaching herself not to be so weird as to make them or anyone else uncomfortable. But that wasn't a lesson she was interested in passing on. She had gotten to the point of embracing her strangeness, and encouraging others, especially children, to do the same. Besides, when else are you allowed, truly allowed, to be weird, societally, other than childhood? Hell, it's almost expected of you. If anything, the truly weird kids were the kids who weren't weird at all.

"It is always better to be yourself," Rina said, "you can never stop being with you the way others can leave you. You need to be your own best friend. That is a truly magical spell. It's a hard one to learn, but once cast correctly? It's the most useful one you'll have."

Ami smiled again as Gwen entered with a tray of cupcakes.

"Who wants sweets?" she asked, causing both girls to grin in delight. Rina finally got it. She understood now why Lilian, Miranda, Tyler, everyone, did this job. The chance to make a childs happiest day the brightest it could be.

And the desserts were just icing on the cake, no pun intended.

***

Lilian was sitting on the bed.

She was dressed in her oversized pajamas, her hair still somewhat wet, as she stared at the laptop screen again, her inbox specifically, just waiting for a response to pop up. The door opened and Miranda walked in cautiously, not wanting to disturb her if she were up to something. But upon looking up and seeing her, Lilian simply beamed and held her arms open, making Miranda laugh and briskly walk to the bed, holding Lilian as she hugged around her waist.

"I missed you, did you have a good morning?" Lilian asked.

"Yeah. My sister wants to come work with us, but I told her it could be hard to get approved, and that we'd have to speak to Helena."

"Could be good for her though," Lilian said, "Lord knows that she could use something productive to do to keep her from feeling bad about herself. She seems like she thinks she's useless, and that isn't true, so maybe this will make her stop feeling that way?"

"Could be," Miranda said, resting her chin on Lilian's head as Lilian closed her eyes and kept smiling. All the horrors of the world outside, of the evils throughout their respective lives, nothing came into this room. This room was unvarnished and untouched by such things. A safe, warm and comforting space where only light and no darkness was allowed. A ping. Lilian opened one eye and peered at her brightly glowing laptop screen. A new email in her inbox. From Barbara Hawkins. Subject line: Requested Information. Lilian shivered as she reached out, her hand gently touching the trackpad, and she moved the cursor over the email.

And she clicked.

Helena came here at least once a month.

She stood in front of the headstone and she stared, silent and stoic, she tried to think of what she and her son might talk about had he survived. Had he still been here. Hands stuffed in her coat pockets, one clenching a hankerchief tightly in her first, she just simply couldn't fathom that this was a thing she had to live with every day for the rest of her life. She heard the sound of footsteps nearby, seemingly approaching, but she didn't make much of it. Assumed it was a groundskeeper, perhaps, or just another family member coming to pay their own person respects. She sniffled and tossed her hair, exhaling, her eyes red. Suddenly the footsteps stopped and she turned her head slightly to see John standing there, surprising her, her eyes widening a bit at the sight of him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, "how did you even know where I was?"

"I didn't, actually," John said, "I came here to see my wife. Saw your car in the lot, figured I'd look around for you."

Helena nodded, as John stared at the headstone in front of them.

"How'd he go?" John asked, before shaking his head, "Sorry, that...maybe that was too blunt, too direct, I apologize, maybe you don't wanna talk about it. Kinda personal. Just sorta slipped out. After losing my wife, I used to go to these meetings for a while, ya know, a coping with grief and loss sorta thing, and that was how people usually started their interactions with you, so I guess it's second nature now."

"You stopped going?" Helena asked, still not looking at him.

"I did, eventually," John said, "figured I was better off handling it on my own. Turns out I wasn't. Turns out handling it on my own meant drinking until I blacked out. But then I remembered Star still needed me, and I stopped drinking again. I guess that's why I asked you. I know how isolating it can feel, and make you want to be, so I didn't want you to go down the same path is all."

"Don't worry, I've never really been one for vices," Helena said, making him smirk, which made her blush; she exhaled and added, "it, uh...hah, it was my fault. I took him to work with me. Shouldn't have, but I did. And...and he got sick."

"He got sick at work?" John asked, confused.

"He got sick from another one of the children there, thanks to those lunatics who don't believe in vaccinating their kids for the benefit of everyone. My son died because of one idiots personal unfounded disbelief in science, or pseudo science, if you want to be specific, because let's be honest, what they knew didn't hold any scientific merit. He got sick. He was already compromised, he didn't have a strong immune system himself. He got worse. He tried so hard to fight it off, but...but nothing ever seemed to really take."

John held his hand, palm open, down by his side, and was admittedly somewhat surprised when Helena grasped it in her own, squeezing.

"Watching him waste away," she continued, on the verge of tears, "that was worse than anything else I could've seen happen to him. He so badly wanted to get better, but his own body was so against him. Made me scared, in turn, to ever care again, cause, well, now I'd seen what happens to people I loved."

"Yeah, it...it can be hard to believe it's worth it after losing someone that meant the world to you. If your world can so easily be ripped from your arms, why bother, right?" John asked, looking down at his feet, "I get it."

A few moments passed, and neither said a word. After a bit, Helena just exhaled and rested her head on John's shoulder. John blushed a little and just stayed quiet, holding her hand tightly, letting it all wash over them. It had been a hard year. He missed Alexis like hell, and taking care of Ellen while getting to know her was hard, but well worth doing. Still, it was nice to have an honest to god parent to talk to about these things. Odd thing was, though, he'd rarely if ever felt guilty about Star surviving the crash until now, but seeing how destroyed emotionally Helena actually was, while hiding it at all times, tugged at his heart. At least, he figured, she didn't have to be alone.

***

Lilian sat on the couch in front of her laptop staring at the screen.

She knew what she wanted to type, but was unsure how to do it. How does one uncover buried information such as the stuff she was specifically after? She finally flopped backwards into the couch and sighed deeply, just as Miranda came into the room.

"You're tellin' me," Miranda said, making Lilian smile; Miranda continued, "what are you trying to do?"

"Gregg asked me if I'd ever looked up the family of the woman who killed herself on the monorail tracks," Lilian said, as Miranda seated herself beside her on the couch now; Lilian added, "I never had even considered it really, before, but now it's like...all I can think about."

"You sure you wanna do down that rabbit hole? Who knows where it could lead. I mean, ultimately it's your decision, and I'll support whatever choice you make, but I just...I want you to be careful, that's all," Miranda said, and Lilian smiled, resting her head on Miranda's shoulder.

She had thought about that, how could she not, after all? The possibility of it being awful. Of it being the worst possible thing to do. To dredge up another families pain and loss, all for the sake of her own shot at closure to her curiosity of an incident that was only tangentially related to her? Course, that was ridiculous. One could call it tangential, sure, but in all honesty it had directly affected the course of the rest of her life, determined her future, so she felt she had just as big a stake in it. Lilian sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"I don't know," Lilian said, "remember when we went to see your family, your mom, sister?"

"Mhm."

"Didn't it feel good to sort of, you know, come to terms with things that made you who you were?" Lilian asked and Miranda narrowed her eyes a bit.

"Lily, um...I mean this in the nicest sense, but...that didn't make me who I was, or am. I was this way no matter what. They were around me, yes, had a bit of an impact on how I dealt with it, but I was who I am and always would be, regardless of their level of inclusion, do you get that?" Miranda asked and Lilian shrunk further into herself on the couch, her voice a weak whisper now.

"...sorry..." she muttered.

"No no, sweetheart, don't be sorry, goodness, it's...it's a complicated combination of things, being me, for anyone like me too," Miranda said, chuckling, pulling Lilian in and kissing her gently on the side of the head, "but it's not the same. What happened to you changed who you were. I was always going to be who I am, no matter the influence of those around me. That's all I'm saying."

Lilian nodded, as a knock came at the door. Miranda sighed, got up and headed to the door as Lilian sat back upright and hunched over her laptop once again. Miranda opened the door...only to find her sister Kate standing there.

"...how did you even know where-"

"Mom wrote down your address when you were there, remember?" Kate asked, "Can I...come in?"

Miranda stepped aside, allowing her sister entry. She looked even thinner than she had before, her eyes dark underneath, her hair losing its luster. She looked frail, she sounded weak. Tired.

"Well, what are you doing here?" Miranda asked.

"...I know it's...sudden...but...can I...can I stay with you?" Kate asked, surprising both women.

"I mean, we only have two bedrooms, and a kid is staying in one of them," Miranda said, "I...I suppose you could sleep in the living room, crash on the couch, but what would the reason be? Did something happen?"

"I'm scared of dad," Kate said, and Miranda nodded.

"Close the door, let's talk," Miranda said.

***

Maddie and Lux were sitting on an empty playground. It was an old playground, in Maddie's neighborhood where she had lived before she moved in with Lilian. Their bikes were laying against the monkeybars, and both girls were just sitting in the wood chips now, listening to the birds and looking around as they played absentmindedly with the wood chips beneath them. Maddie smiled.

"I used to love coming here," she said, "this was my favorite playground growing up. Mom and dad would bring me here, and it was just so big. Climbing up certain things felt impossible. Now...everything looks so small."

"I think that's part of growing up, stuff starts feeling smaller. The world, in general. It's supposed to make it less scary, but I just find it feels more confining, and that's scarier," Lux replied, making Maddie nod; Lux continued, "my brother made the world feel smaller, and now that he's gone, the world feels larger, cause what I knew is gone now."

"You sound sad about it," Maddie said.

"I am, and that sucks, cause I shouldn't be. He was doing awful things to me, but it was all I knew, so there was this weird messed up sense of security to it. I don't think I miss what he was doing, but I miss how small it made the world feel."

Maddie nodded again, understanding, and once more impressed by Lux's vocabulary. She was clearly a gifted student.

"My parents never abused me," Maddie said, "but my mom trying to kill my dad made me realize just how, like...fragile the idea of family is. But then, meeting Lilian...I don't know, I guess that made me realize how you can make a new family, you know? You don't have a brother, but...I could kind of be your sister, if you wanna think of me like that."

Lux smiled, pushing some of her hair back behind her ear and wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling her legs up into her chest.

"Do you think I should tell my parents?" she asked.

"About what he did?"

"Mhm. I don't want to ruin their memory of him, but..."

"He made that decision himself when he decided to do what he did to you," Maddie said, shrugging, "whatever people think of him now is his own fault. You should be able to heal. It's taken me a long time to start feeling like I can trust adults again, even with being with Lilian who's only ever worked hard to make me feel safe and loved and understood, but I'm getting there. I finally feel better than I have in a long time. You deserve that too."

"Did you..." Lux asked, biting her lip and tossing some wood chips away, "did you really mean that? About being my sister?"

"I did!" Maddie said brightly, holding her hands out, watching as Lux - reluctantly at first - reached out as well and took them in her own; Maddie added, "I always wanted a sister. We can be best friends."

Lux smiled tightly, on the verge of crying.

"I think I'm gonna tell them," she said.

"I think that's a good idea," Maddie said.

Despite her age, Maddie had lived through the worst of the worst, and now she was coming out swinging at the world, doing what she'd watched Lilian do, try to help other girls around her who'd been subjected to the same or worse. The world already did its best to hurt young girls, and she decided that she too would try to right that wrong, rectify that injustice. And she would start with her very own found sister.

***

"Death is...a fucking weird thing," Helena said.

She and John found themselves at a small deli near the cemetery, having brunch. Sitting inside in a booth, sandwiches and coffee in front of them both, she spoke while she sipped and John took bites, listening intensly. Helena continued.

"You think you're ready for it," she said, "you think that, you know, you'll be okay, you'll manage. The argument could be made that it's worse for those who get left behind, because, well, the ones who die are dead. Their pain is over. But our pain lasts until we die. It isn't fair to compare, it's just an interesting debate. My point, overall, is that death is a weird thing and we try to understand it; we compartmentalize all these feelings surrounding it, we try to rationalize aspects of it, but what good does that really do? Analyzing isn't healing."

"It can be a stepping stone to it though, you know? Ignoring is far worse, take it from me," John said, chewing and wiping his mouth on his napkin, he swallowed and added, "I think that's what's important to keep in mind. Nothing is a hinderance, everything can be turned into a way to help it along."

Helena smiled and took another long sip.

"I'm sorry we've argued so much," Helena said, "I think, you know, it's been hard for me to open up about things, especially while taking over the business. And, truth be told, I didn't expect to inherit a mess the way I did. This company is...I mean, it's fucked up, there's no other way to put it."

John and Helena started laughing.

"But," she went on, "I mean that in a good sense. I'd rather work with people than concepts of people. People too scared to be people. Everyone we work with is so authentically themselves, and after a lifetime of being in business, that's kind of refreshing honestly."

A long pause as two men passed by them, and a group of three middle aged women seated themselves in the booth behind them. After a bit, Helena looked at John again, who was playing with his spoon, stirring his coffee.

"...she'll come back, you know," Helena said, and John finally cracked, crying.

"She fucking better," he said.

Helena quickly scooted out from her side of the booth and edged into his side, sitting beside him, putting his arms around him. John leaned against her and cried as she rubbed his back, running her hand up into his hair now and then.

"I'm sorry John," she said, "it must hurt to have her just leave the way she did, but she did it for good reasons."

"I know," John said, "I know, that's...that's why I'm not upset with her. But she better come back, cause if she doesn't, I'll find her myself. Swear to god, I'll take a boat to the open seas and I won't stop until I've hunted her down like some kind of modern day Ahab."

Helena chuckled and rested her head against his. It'd been a very long time since she'd been this close to any man, and she'd never really known a man like John, who allowed himself to show emotions so openly in public. It was nice. Admirable, honestly. So they sat like that for a while, and she held him while he cried and talked about Alexis. She vowed then and there, though not audibly, to join him in his quest to bring Alexis back if she didn't return of her own accord.

After all, every captain needs a good first mate.

***

Lilian was sitting in the bedroom when Maddie came in. Lilian looked up from the bed, away from her laptop, and smiled at Maddie as she sat on the bed with her.

"Who is that woman in the living room?" Maddie asked.

"That's Miranda's sister," Lilian said.

"What are you doing?" Maddie asked.

"I am looking someone up, about something from when I was a kid," Lilian said, closing the laptop lid now before turning her focus to Maddie, asking, "...when I was a little girl, maybe a little younger than you, a woman died in front of me. Well, kind of. I was at an amusement park and she walked in front of the monorail. Killed instantly. She was an actress, performed at the theme park as a princess. I'm telling you this because I don't want you to let one moment define you. We are made up of a million moments that define us, not just one, okay?"

Maddie nodded, smiling. Lilian pulled Maddie into her side, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her head.

"Your birthday is coming up again," Lilian said, "any idea what you wanna do?"

"I don't know," Maddie said, "but I sure don't want a pinata."

And with that they laughed and laughed, and Lilian knew then and there that the kid would be alright.

John was standing on the docks, hands in his pockets. Ellen was seated on a bench back near the front of the area, opting instead to not be near the water. His eyes scanned the horizons, his hair blew gently in the wind. Footsteps approached, but he didn't even bother to look and see who they belonged to, the answer was obvious enough without that. Geena saddled up beside him and shook her head, hands also in her coat pockets.

"I know it's typical for sisters to take things from eachother," Geena said, "but I gotta say, stealing a boat really tops the list. That's...that's a new one."

John chuckled, then coughed, nodding. He didn't respond, but instead just stared dead ahead, chewing on his lower lip intermittently. Geena exhaled and looked at her shoes.

"She's not coming back," Geena said quietly.

"She will," John replied, "she said she would, and she wouldn't lie to Ellen."

"John, all she's done her whole life is lie, what makes you think-"

"You're conflating this behavior with who she was, not who she's become. The Alex we know now isn't the Alex you knew then, okay? She'll. Come. Back." John said, not even bothering to look at her as he delivered his statement. Geena nodded again, going back to being quiet. John was right, she knew, she just...it was hard for her to admit it now. She'd only known Alexis as someone else her whole life, and the woman she'd become since her overdose, since rehab, wasn't someone she'd gotten to truly know. She wish she had now, given her absence. Geena casually glanced back over her shoulder at Ellen.

"Does she talk about anything much?" Geena asked.

"Not really. Mostly keeps to herself. But I've got her eating, and that's good enough for now. She's in a place where she is safe and isn't screamed at, and really, I think that alone is an adjustment she'll need to get used to first before she opts to open up, even to someone as close to her sister as I was. You can try your luck though, if you feel so inclined."

Geena turned on her heel and headed back towards the benches, leaving John to his thoughts. As she approached, Ellen turned her head, but kept her eyes to the ground. Geena sat down beside her on the bench, and exhaled.

"What happened must've been...a lot," Geena said, "dad is gonna be in the hospital a while, he got pretty messed up, but he and mom are opting not to press charges. I think they know whole heartedly that if the police get involved, it would only get worse, specifically for them, so. I guess Alexis gets off scott free yet again for her actions."

"She's gone, she left everyone and everything she knew," Ellen said, finally looking up at Geena, their eyes locking as she added, quietly, "how is that scott free to you?"

Geena wanted to reply. Wanted to have an answer. But, again, as had just happened on the pier, she knew Ellen was right. So instead she kept her mouth shut, and she sat in the silence, letting the wind do all the talking.

***

"Not often I get treated to a theme restaurant," Lilian said, "thank you for the opportunity."

"Everyone should get to experience rampant capitalism disguised as a personalized interest at least once," Gregg said, making Lilian chuckle. She was surprised, to say the least, that Greg had asked her to lunch. Lilian was always under the assumption that therapists weren't exactly meant to fraternize with their clients. Then again, they had a very different kind of relationship than a typical doctor/patient situation, so maybe it was fine. Still, despite her relatively calm demeanor, she remained somewhat on edge, though she didn't show it.

"So what's good here?" she asked, looking through the menu as Gregg sipped his soda.

"Well," he said, smacking his lips as he lowered his glass, "I think that depends on your flavor palette now doesn't it?"

"So why did you want to have lunch with me?" Lilian finally asked, foregoing any kind of coolness about it, opting instead to approach it outright.

"I...need a favor," Gregg said, "and...well, given your profession, you're the only one I trust to do it right."

Lilian had to admit, he'd piqued her curiosity. She nodded, waiting, listening.

"My daughter is sick," Gregg said, "she has cancer, but...her birthday is coming up, and I guess I thought it'd be neat for her to have what you guys offer. I know it's not the kind of thing she would really admit to being into, but I do think she would enjoy it, and...I just...I want her to be happy for a day, you know?"

Lilian wanted to hug this man. His devotion to his daughter was nothing short of wonderful. If only all fathers could be like this; but she thought back to Maddie's father, and she smiled. Some were good dads, even if her own had been absent. Lilian looked down at her hands on the table and smiled weakly.

"My dad...wasn't really around," Lilian said, "he kind of took off, cause my mom was...well...let's just say she was hard to deal with for a long time. We're in a good place now, but for a long time she was selfish and obsessed with appearances, and not necessarily in a way that felt intentionally cruel, she didn't realize how the way she acted affected those around her that she loved, but it did cost her her husband. My dad. But I do remember going to the theme park with him, you know, back when that woman killed herself on the monorail, and I remember sitting with him earlier that day before that happened. I think mom was in a gift shop or something. Dad told me that the lack of absence didn't mean an absence of love. I think he felt guilty about how much he'd already distanced himself from the family, from my mother...from me, as a result, and I think he felt like he owed me some kind of explanation. But I didn't want an explanation. I just wanted my dad."

Lilian rose her sight back up to meet Gregg's, whose own eyes were swelling up with tears.

"Your daughter is very lucky," Lilian added, her voice breaking, "and we'd love to help you give her the best birthday she can have."

***

"So what would you like to do?" John asked, sitting with Ellen at a table at a nearby restaurant, the pier still in plain view as they awaited their order of seafood.

Geena had left to go to work, so now it was just John and Ellen. Ellen had barely spoken since being dumped on his doorstep, but the way he saw it that was just because she was still trying to process everything that had occurred, and not just that day but in general in her life. He knew what that was like, how long it could take.

"I don't really know," Ellen said meekly, "I don't...I don't know if I have interests. I don't know what I like."

"That's actually a good thing, you haven't been influenced and you're starting with a blank slate," John replied, smiling warmly at her as he added, "that means you can do anything you want, discover what truly interests you. Not everyone gets so lucky to have that option, especially at your age."

"Isn't it worse to be this...unformed at my age?" Ellen asked, making John shake his head as he sipped from his soda.

"Absolutely not," he said, "not at all. What's worse, to have to discover who you, what you like and what you want to do when you're an adult, or to have it all figured out for you when you're a child with no input or autonomy?"

Ellen knew the answer, and knew what point he was trying to make. She thought to her sisters. Geena had always been on a straight line to a clear goal, while Alexis - never really have a clear goal in mind - had floundered a bit, swapping between multiple things, but always ultimately winding up on her feet. Ellen wanted that for herself, that...that ability to keep pushing forward. She admired her sisters for their drive, even when things seemed their bleakest.

"I kind of...want to..." Ellen said, making John arch an eyebrow in curiosity to the remainder of the sentence forming in her mind; finally she finished, adding, "I want to help animals."

John smiled and nodded.

"That's noble, and if you wind up good at it a very well paying profession," John said.

"At the house, all I had were books," Ellen said, "and magazines. I would read a lot about animals. Sometimes I'd sneak down and watch TV about animals, nature documentaries and stuff. I liked that. I'd like to help animals. Animals aren't like people. I don't...I don't necessarily have the greatest opinion of humans at this point."

"Who could blame you, considering," John replied.

"But," she continued, "animals are just grateful for your presence, and your help, and they give you unconditional love if they get attached. I hate people but I love animals."

"Well," John said, stretching, "we can look into classes at the local community college, get you on the right track from there."

"Why are you doing this?" Ellen asked, causing John to pause as the waitress finally arrived, setting their food down between them. Once they were gone again, and John started to dig into his crab legs, he leaned back in his chair and thought about the question. After a long moment, he nodded, sighed and spoke while he chewed.

"When I met your sister," he said, "she was...a mess, I mean, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, she was a mess. She was using heavily, drinking nonstop, and she didn't let any of that hinder her job, she was committed as hell and it was impressive, but she was...she was barely functioning outside of that. I saw, in her, I guess...a way to fix the damage that had been done to other young women thanks to the input, or lack thereof, of their parents, and I guess I just needed to do something about it, having been on the opposite end of that."

Ellen didn't exactly understand what he was referring to, but she didn't feel like pushing it.

"You're all more capable than you were led to believe," John said, taking her by surprise by his sudden change in tone, "it's just that you've been convinced otherwise. Granted, she had a near death experience to recover from as well, but still. If you want to help animals, then let's make that a reality. The strongest thing you can do, Ellen, is get hurt to hell and back and still give a shit."

Ellen wanted to cry. No "adult" had ever spoken to her like this before, in a way that was simultaneously comforting and supportive, while still being serious but not judgemental. Suddenly she saw what Alexis saw, why she'd entrusted her to this man. And as she watched him eat his crab legs while she ate her Calamari, she couldn't help but think that, yeah, just because those people had mistreated her didn't mean everyone would. She'd had everything taken from her. Now it was time to give back.

***

"So," Lilian asked as she and Greg exited the restaurant and headed to the parking lot, "when is this birthday, when will our services be needed?"

"In a week," Gregg said, "hopefully that's enough time?"

"Absolutely, I can wrangle it together by then," Lilian said as they stopped by the cars while Gregg retrieved his keys; she leaned against the car and smirked, adding, "you know, they say that you aren't supposed to become friends with your therapist."

"Are we friends?" Gregg asked, "I kinda saw us more as twins, honestly."

"...how so?" Lilian asked, confused.

"Well," Gregg said, unlocking his car and placing his leftovers on the passenger seat, "maybe not in the typical sense, but...you wanted a dad, I wanna be a good dad, plus you and my daughter have a ton in common, not to mention your girlfriend has even more in common with her. Just kinda feels like...with a connection like ours, it would behoove us to be more than just patient and doctor, you know? That sort of thing only comes around every so often, and it'd be stupid to squander it."

Lilian smiled, wanting to cry. The last few weeks had been hard. Alexis bailing the way she did, with little to no notice, not to mention just everything going on with Maddie and her friend, and the company being under new management now. This felt good. This felt...necessary. It was important, she reminded herself, and okay, to slow down now and then.

"Lily," Gregg said, "you told me about Maddie's friend, the sister of the boy who died at her party? It got me thinking...did you ever...think to track down the family of the woman who killed herself at the park?"

"...why would I do that?" Lilian asked, genuinely confused.

"It's important to face things. Her death didn't just impact, presumably, her own family but it impacted you as well," Gregg said, "I just think it could be a worthwhile thread to tug at, that's all, if you're interested."

Gregg hugged her, and she happily hugged him back before watching him pull away and go around to the drivers side of the car, pull the door open and get in. He closed the door behind him, then started the car up and she watched him pull out and drive away, waving at one another as he did. Lilian chewed on her lip and thought, as she waved, about what he'd mentioned. Maybe he had a point. Maybe it was something she should finally face. She'd never really thought of it as having that much of an impact on her life, but...it had. It'd caused her to want to be a princess, and to wind up in the career she was currently invested in. That was impact, even if it didn't feel like it. Lilian got back to the apartment and found it empty. Maddie, Lux and Miranda had gone out to the park, leaving Lilian some alone time. She pulled out her laptop and quickly got to work, doing some searching online for information regarding the woman who'd jumped in front of the monorail. No matter what she did though, no matter what she typed or what she tried to access, nothing returned her the information she was after. The name of the woman was never mentioned, not once.

After an hour or so, Lilian finally exhaled and put her face in her hands. How would she even find this information? Was it even accessible? Was it smart to pull at this thread, as Gregg had put it? After all, she had no idea what it might unravel, and what if...what if it wasn't worth unraveling? What then?

Meanwhile, back at home, Ellen was asleep, taking a nap on the couch while John sat in his armchair and watched. His eyes were wet. He wanted Alexis back so badly, her absence hurt so much. But then he smiled, rubbing his face with his palm, as he watched Ellen roll over in her sleep. If someone had to be the parent to these girls, might as well be him. After all, he had the experience.

That was the thing nobody seemed to notice, what Gregg had said at lunch, was that everyone involved with this company, with eachother, seemed to just be mirrors of one another, twins, in a way. And that couldn't be anymore clear than with Lux and Maddie, who were sitting in swings at the park while Miranda read a book on a nearby bench. Each girl had suffered tremendous loss, and abuse, at the expense of their supposed "loving family", but now they'd overcome, and found one another.

"I'm thirsty," Maddie said, "let's go to the fountain."

She got off the swing and, Lux by her side, began walking towards the nearby water fountain. Stopping at it, Maddie pressed the button and started drinking as Lux watched, leaning against it, arms folded.

"It's nice," Lux said, "having people who care about me. I mean, not that my parents don't love me, but..."

"No, I get it. My dad loves me so much, but it's nice to know you're worth something to adults who aren't your parents," Maddie said, making Lux laugh and nod in agreement.

"Or, not even adults," Lux said, "it's nice just having you around. Someone like you. Who understands how much it hurts."

"I definitely understand," Maddie said.

Maddie and Lux locked eyes, and for a moment, Maddie swore she saw a flicker of something in Lux's face that she recognized when she saw Miranda and Lilian look at one another. Maddie then held out her arms, and Lux hugged her. The girls stood there, by the fountain, just hugging for minutes on end. Twins didn't need to be fraternal. Twins could be anyone who matched you. And nobody matched eachother the way these girls matched eachother.

If that isn't love, what really was.

Alexis couldn't stop shaking.

She was sitting in her apartment on her couch, with Ellen in a loveseat across the room and Rick picking up the place, likely to keep himself from losing it, and was unsure what exactly it was she was feeling. Some sort of fucked up liberation? Perhaps. But it felt deeper than that. More...raw. Visceral. Alexis looked over at Ellen, who was sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest, hugging them tightly and shaking a little herself. Rick was the only one, seemingly, who appeared from the outside to be somewhat stable. After a bit, he finally stopped and looked around the apartment, then exhaled.

"A damn shame to leave this place," he said, "it's pretty nice."

"Leave?" Alexis asked, looking at him.

"Well, you can't stay here, someone is going to come looking for, presumably the police. You did assault a man, after all. Now, granted, self defense and there were 3 of us who witnessed the whole thing, plus it isn't like your parents are patron saints of virtue in societies eyes, but still," Rick said, as he walked over to Ellen and knelt in front of her, touching her arm as he looked back at Alexis, "is there anywhere you both can go?"

"...John," Alexis muttered, "Ellen can go with John."

"Okay, and what about you?" Rick asked.

"What about me?" Alexis asked.

"You need some kind of plan," Rick said, getting up and walking to the couch, sitting beside her, "we can either wait for the cops to come get us, we can flee but that makes us look guilty, or we can turn ourselves in. In the end they'll recognize, I think, that it was self defense, especially since it's three of us against them, but for the time being-"

"I don't care what happens to me," Alexis said, sniffling, "I just care what happens to her, and we've already got that figured out, so it doesn't matter now."

Rick wanted to help her. He wanted to save her. But Alexis knew best what was right for her, and ultimately, he wasn't going to fight her on that. Rick sighed and leaned back against the couch cushions, trying to relax. Alexis stared at the wall ahead of them, thinking of something entirely different though. She was thinking about the day she almost drowned. Her own parents hadn't seemed to care then, and maybe, in some twisted way, this was her revenge for their negligence. Sure, she wanted to save her sister, she could frame it as noble and heroic, but in the end, maybe she really just wanted to get back at the people who'd proven to her at such a young age just how disposable she actually was.

                                                                           ***

"Is it weird for your family to meet your therapist?" Lilian asked as she drove, "cause it feels wrong somehow. Not that I ever complain about you guys, but still. Therapy is supposed to be a private thing, and, for what it's worth, I have known him longer than I've known any of you."

"Did you hear that, Maddie?" Miranda asked, glancing to the backseat where Maddie and Lux were seated, "we aren't important enough to even be discussed in therapy."

"Rude," Maddie replied, the three of them chuckling.

"No, you know what I mean though," Lilian continued, laughing herself now, "like, two separate worlds. I talk to him cause I DON'T wanna dump everything on those around me. I don't wanna be Alex, basically, no shade to her. God knows I love the girl but she drags everyone around her into her nonsense and it's dangerous and exhausting. I don't want to put you guys through that. If I have a problem, I deal with it myself, or with a professional."

"We're a team, Lily," Miranda said, reaching over and putting her hand on her thigh, "you can depend on me, you can fall back on me, that's what I'm here for. What kind of partner would I be if I wasn't supportive emotionally? I mean, it's good to have a therapist, yes, but you need to know you can count on me too."

Lilian smiled and reached down, putting her hand atop Miranda's and squeezing gently. Lux, from the backseat, watched with a sort of quiet, introspective awe. This was what a family should be. She had no idea, however, that a family didn't have to be people you weren't actually related to. Course she'd always known about adoption, foster homes, that sort of thing, but it just never occurred to her, somehow, that people sometimes found eachother and decided then and there, hey, you're my family now, and that was very cool to discover firsthand. She looked at Maddie and smiled. Maddie had been such a good friend, inviting her into their home, and now she was being invited to important family functions. She felt...lucky. And after a number of years feeling like the unluckiest girl in the world, it was nice to feel lucky.

The car pulled up into Gregg's driveway and parked. Lilian exhaled anxiously, adjusted something in the rearview mirror, then got out of the car. Miranda walked around to her and took her hand, and they waited for the girls. Once the four of them were together, they all headed up the pebbled walkway and towards the front door.

"Why did he even invite us?" Maddie asked.

"Well, we ran into him at the hospital when Miranda was getting information about her SRS," Lilian said, "and we talked a little about what was going on lately, and he agreed to let us come see him tonight. We were kinda surprised too, to be honest. It seemed a little out of the blue. But we know that his daughter is like Miranda, so I guess he just sort of assumed it would be nice, which it will be."

"What is SRS?" Lux asked.

"Sex Reassignment Surgery," Miranda said, making Lux look even more confused.

"I'll explain it later," Maddie mumbled, and Lux smiled, nodding.

The thing was...Gregg had his reasons for inviting this particular group of women over, and by the end of the evening, Lilian would come to realize he probably needed to talk to her more than she needed to talk to him.

                                                                       ***

Rick had gone to get suitcases, while Alexis and Ellen were gathering clothes for Ellen, along with some other vitals. Alexis gave her a spare toothbrush, some toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, clothes she didn't wear anymore, as well as a hairbrush. All temporary of course, until she could manage to get her own, not that Alexis was going to want any of this back. She just didn't want her sister to be completely unprepared. Ellen was sitting on the bed watching Alexis gather items and dump them into assorted piles.

"This guy, John, is he nice?" Ellen asked.

"He's very nice, he adopted me legally," Alexis said, and Ellen's eyes widened.

"He did?"

"Mhm," Alexis continued, folding some clothes to put in the suitcases Rick would soon return with, "so don't worry when I say he'll be your best bet in taking you in. He has proven he would do literally anything for me."

"What about you? What are you going to do?" Ellen asked.

"I don't know yet," Alexis said, and she meant it. She had no backup plan. She had no recourse. No idea of what action should be taken her own benefit. All that mattered at this moment was ensuring the further safety of her sister. Ellen tugged at the tassels on her sweatshirt, frayed and weather from her fingertips and teeth, and she looked down at her lap.

"...why did you come?" she whispered.

Alexis sighed and sat on the bed beside her.

"Because," Alexis said, "mom and dad were never there for us. The only reason they kept you there was because they knew they could control you. Get you to get them what they needed or wanted without any backtalk. You don't deserve that. Geena and I were lucky enough to get out. You should be as well. You can do great things, Ellen, I know you can. You're smart and talented, and I know that with the right environment and support system, you could become the person you should've been instead of the husk they made you into. I love you either way, you're my sister, but I'd be so happy to watch you flourish."

Ellen was surprised. This wasn't the sister she remembered. Geena had always been loving, kind, compassionate. But Alexis...well, she hadn't been cruel or anything, but she'd been distant. She'd been somewhat standoffish. To hear her sister speak like this, she started to realize just how much she had grown, and a lot of that, likely, was thanks to her rehab. Alexis had nearly died herself, but she'd found a group of unlikely people who loved her no matter what, and were going to help her, outcome be damned. Now Alexis seemed to have taken that in full and turned it back around, giving it to her own sister, and Ellen had to admit...it felt good. Ellen smiled weakly as Alexis reached out and rubbed her back, feeling her spine through her sweatshirt and grimacing.

"You need to see a doctor," Alexis said softly, "your eating disorder has gotten so bad."

"I know," Ellen replied quietly, "and they made it almost impossible for me to eat, to gain weight."

"Well that's all gonna change now," Alexis said, smiling, as she pulled Ellen in for a hug. As she rubbed her little sisters back, Alexis could only think of two things...the first was how her sister would finally be safe, finally have the chance to grow, come into her own, the way Geena and Alexis had. The second...

...was about Geena's boat.

                                                                        ***

"You have a beautiful home," Miranda said to Gregg's wife, Kristen, who smiled, thanking her as she led the guests into the dining room. The house was filled with warmth, both from the heat of the kitchen, but also in a metaphorical sense. As Miranda, Lilian, Maddie and Lux followed Kristen through the doorway and into the dining room, Lilian couldn't help but feel like a somewhat inferior mother figure.

"Please, sit down," Kristen said, opening a bottle of wine for the adults and pouring some into each of their glasses, "it isn't often that Gregg has clients come to the house, so you must be something special."

"I'm not special," Lilian said.

"In the head, maybe," Miranda retorted, making Lilian snort with laughter and playfully hit her arm as she picked up her glass to take a sip, smacked her lips and then added, "actually, I don't think it's Lilian he wanted to see as much as it was me. I think I'm the one he was interested in."

Just then Gregg appeared in the doorway leading in from the hall, sighing, shaking his head.

"She doesn't feel well," he said, "she got a whole outfit together, but she just...doesn't feel well. And I can't blame her, considering."

He glanced towards the table, walked over, picked up his wine glass and drank the whole thing in one long gulp. Miranda chewed on her lip, then asked where the restroom was, and proceeded to stand up from the table and head down the hall. Thing was, she wasn't actually in need of the restroom. She was looking for Gregg's daughter. And she found her bedroom easily enough, after all it was the one room in the hall that had a door plastered in stickers and a few small posters and stick on glow in the dark stars. Miranda smiled and knocked lightly.

"Hey, uh...are you in there? I'm a friend of your fathers," Miranda said, "can I come in?"

A pause. Silence. Then a voice.

"You may enter," she said, and Miranda did. She shut the door silently behind her and reoriented herself to this kids bedroom. It was so girly, so feminine, so absolutely cute. Miranda was jealous, she had to admit. If she'd gotten to express herself this way when she was a child, maybe she'd be more at ease with her femininity nowadays. Either way, her eyes eventually landed on the bed, where a twelve year old girl was laying upside down across its frame. She raised her head and a single eye protruded from behind her long hair, staring up at Miranda.

"Hello," she said softly.

"Hi there," Miranda said, "mind if I join you? I'm an expert in moping."

Miranda then laid in the same position next to the girl and sighed, making the girl chuckle.

"Your dad says you're not feeling well," Miranda said, "wanna tell me what's up?"

"I don't even know you and I was told never to talk to strangers," the girl said.

"Oh, so talking to me is out of the question, but letting me come in your and lay on your bed, that's totally fine? Gotcha," Miranda said, "just glad to know where the boundaries are established, that's all."

The girl laughed louder this time, which made Miranda smile. Miranda had never told anyone this, not even Lilian, but the way she saw it, she always promised herself that if she could help another little girl who was like her feel better about herself, then she would jump at the opportunity. She knew, firsthand, what it was like to deal with this stuff on your own, and nobody, especially a child, deserved to feel that way. Miranda chewed on her lip, the tried a different approach.

"How about if I were to tell you that your dad invited me specifically to talk to you?" she asked, and that got the girls attention.

"He...did?" she asked, "why would he do that? That's so weird."

"It is weird," Miranda replied, laughing, "but his heart's in the right place. I wish more parents would do this sort of thing. Would know that, sometimes, the best help is outside help. Most parents don't have the necessities to cover everything their child goes through, and it's okay to seek that help through other adults, so long as they know and trust them, of course. Now me, personally, he shouldn't trust. I did kill like fifteen people," Miranda said, the girl laughing again, as Miranda smirked and continued, "but that doesn't mean I don't know what you're going through."

"It isn't fair," the girl said, "I got what I wanted, without any problems, and I should be happy."

"You're right, it isn't fair," Miranda said, "but that's what it is. But we can't help it, you know? Even when things are at their best, we can't help but feel a general feeling of unease or anxiety or outright unfairness due to our very specific predicaments. It isn't fair to have to go through this, especially with all of society watching, just to be yourself, but you're braver for it than they'll ever be."

The girl gave her a puzzled look and cocked her head to the side.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, "I don't have any problems with who I am."

"...oh. Then what are YOU talking about?" Miranda asked.

"It isn't the identity stuff that's bothering me," the girl said, "it's the cancer."

That, Miranda had to admit, hadn't been the answer she'd been anticipating.

Meanwhile, back in the dining room, while Gregg helped Kristen get the food from the kitchen and plate it before bringing it out to their guests, Lilian couldn't help but think about how beautiful this place was. What a lucky little girl Gregg's daughter was, to get to grow up in such a warm, safe, loving environment. A clean and quiet home. Securely tucked away from the awfulness that existed just beyond its walls. She sighed and finished her wine, then noticed Lux was looking at her.

"What?" Lilian asked.

"Are you jealous too? Cause I am," Lux said, and Lilian chuckled, nodding.

"Yeah, very," Lilian said, "I'm sad that I can't give Maddie and her friends a home like this. You likely come from a home like this, archtecturally speaking, but not filled with the same warmth, I'm guessing that's why you're jealous. I just feel inferior, like nothing I do is good enough. I'm always measuring myself up to the other women around me with kids, and I'm always feeling like I'm coming up short. It's very upsetting."

"You're doing fine," Maddie said, without even looking at them, "if you weren't good enough, my dad wouldn't let me live with you."

Lilian...hadn't actually ever considered that. She always sort of assumed that maybe he'd picked her simply because of ease of access, his childs history with her, familiarity, that sort of thing. But never once had she considered, though she very rightly should have, Maddie had proven now, that it was because he knew she was a stable, dependable individual capable of keeping a child safe and happy. After all, it was her job. She did it almost every day. Almost every day she went out to a party and she made sure the kids there were safe and happy. Lilian smiled and patted Maddie on the head as Lux leaned over and hugged Lilian, Lilian using her other arm to hug Lux back. She had, in fact, built a nice little family for them.

And she couldn't be happier with the result.

                                                                             ***

Ellen had been dropped off at John's with her things, and was now sitting outside his trailer, on a bench, kicking the ground in front of her with her feet nervously. Alexis had told her before she'd left how much she loved her, and how Geena would be checking in, and how everything would be okay, but the one she promised, which made Ellen confused, was that she would be back. She didn't even clarify on when or anything...just that she would be back. Now, sitting in the car with Rick as he drove, Alexis exhaled and knew what her next move would be. She ashed her cigarette out the window and turned her head to look at him. She smiled weakly.

"You're really ride or die, aren't you?" she asked.

"God I wish we could get to the die part already," Rick said, making her snort.

"I know what to do, Rick," Alexis said, "and...I need you to do it with me."

Rick pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car, hands gripping the steering wheel. Alexis got nervous.

"...when you left rehab," Rick said, "...I kicked myself everyday for not going with you. I could've. But...but I thought that I was a lost cause and that I couldn't improve, and that I wasn't interested in improving, even though it meant being with you. I missed you SO much, Alex. Once you were gone, it was like there was this...this gaping maw in my heart, and nothing could fill it. Not even the vices that had once filled in for everything else with such ease. And then, seeing you at the grocery...once again I wanted to go home with you. Wanted to make it work. And, again, I didn't. I've regretted that too."

Alex smiled warmly, exhaling smoke and reaching over, patting his arm.

"Wherever you go, I will go, and I don't mean that in the creepy stalker kinda way, I mean, unless you're into that, you fuckin' weirdo," Rick said, the both of them laughing as their eyes locked; Rick sighed and added, "all I know is that I looked for something to make me happy my entire life. But nothing, not even the things that seemed to work the best, has ever worked as well as you have. It's high fucking time I admit to myself that I am madly in love with you, and yeah, I'm ride or die, so where we goin'?"

Alexis, on the verge of tears, tossed her cigarette out the window, grabbed his face and kissed him before answering, "The La Portia Docks."

When John got home that evening, he was confused by this skinny little disheveled young lady sitting on his bench. When he approached, he could see she was in obvious need of help, and that was before she handed him the note. John took it, opened the door to the trailer and let Ellen inside, following behind her as he read what Alexis had left for him.

"Dear John, okay that's a stupid way to start a letter, I mean what am I, a cliche? I kinda am actually. Anyway, this is my sister Ellen, my younger sister. Rick and I just rescued her from our parents, and I couldn't think of anywhere else she could be, SHOULD be, than with you. You did wonders for me, and now I need you to do the same for her. She needs help, John, she needs someone to guide her and watch over her. There's nobody I trust in this world more than you to do that. You've proven yourself beyond capable time and time again. I won't be back for a good while. Tell Geena we're sorry about taking her boat. She'll get it back though, don't worry. Anyway, we really need to go. Thank you for everything, and I hope you can do for her what you did for me until I can come home to you both. I love you, dad. I'll come back soon."

John sat down in his easy chair and felt his tears running down his face. Ellen had reappeared, and was standing next to him. He looked up at her, stood up and opened his arms. Ellen, somewhat hesitant but not one to doubt her sisters good taste and judgment, hugged him, and he squeezed her with more love than she'd ever gotten from their actual father.

"It's okay if you're mad at her, I don't think anyone would blame you," Ellen said and John laughed.

"Mad?" he asked, "I'm not mad. I've never been fuckin' prouder."

"My parents gave me cocoa after my brother died," Lux said.

She was sitting at the table in the kitchen, the glass, piping hot and full of marshmallows, in front of her. Lilian, Miranda and Maddie were all sitting around her, just watching, waiting for her to talk when she was comfortable. Lux sighed and reached out for the glass, turning it around a little, looking at the imagery that was on it. She then pulled her hand back and set it down in her lap with the other one once more.

"I guess they thought, I don't know," she continued, shrugging, "that somehow cocoa would fix it, but really, everything was already fixed. He was dead."

Lilian exhaled silently, unsure of how exactly she had become the bastion for safe harbor for young, terrified girls. First Maddie, now Lux. She didn't mind. Nobody had helped her when she'd been a child, so now, if anything, she reveled in the fact that she could manage to protect kids this way, but it was still hard to get used to. Lux picked up the cocoa and took a nice, long sip, letting it warm her insides. She then set the mug back down on the table.

"I don't wanna say anything to them, about what he did, because they'll just say 'oh, he was a boy, boys are curious' and I don't want to ruin their memory of him, but I also don't feel like it's fair for me to be trapped with it alone," Lux continued, "I'm sorry for coming here."

"Don't be sorry, this is a safe environment," Miranda said, reaching out and rubbing her back, "nobody here is going to judge you, and we all believe you."

Lilian got up and walked away from the table, Maddie hot on her heels. As Lilian entered the hall bathroom, Maddie did so right after her, shutting the door behind them.

"What do we do?" Maddie asked.

"I really don't know," Lilian said, "her parents aren't abusing her, if anything her home life is now safer than it was, so it isn't like it was with you, where she needs a place to go. I think just listening to her, being her friend, is enough for the moment."

"What if it isn't enough?" Maddie asked, causing Lilian to stop what she was doing and look at her; Maddie continued, fidgeting with the tassels on her sweatshirt and looking at the ground, "what if...what if she needs more than that? Than what we can give her? You keep saying you're gonna fight for girls who are abused because you almost were, so we should be the perfect people for her to be with, right?"

Lilian smirked. This was what she'd liked having Maddie around for. To remind her of why she was doing what she was doing. Lilian sat on the side of the tub, Maddie sitting beside her, but neither saying a word for a few moments. Finally, when enough silence had filled the air, Lilian sighed and shook her head.

"You're smart," she said, "much smarter than I was at your age, that's for damn sure. I'm proud of you."

Maddie couldn't help but blush, as Lilian pulled her in and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"Let's make her feel at home then, since she probably never has," Lilian said, Maddie nodding eagerly in agreement.

                                                                           ***

"Explain it to me," John said.

He and Helena had agreed to go out for coffee and donuts, a very 'adult' thing to do, but he was more than happy to do so. He wanted to know more about her, specifically about her kid. Helena, however, didn't seem all that interested in diving deeper into the subject.

"Explain yours first," she replied, biting into a sprinkled donut.

"My wife...ex wife, I guess...are they an ex if you're widowed?"

"That is an excellent question," Helena said, chuckling.

"Well, whatever terminology works, she and I were very much the same. Addicts. Drink. Drugs. Whatever. It's why I've felt so protective over Alexis, cause I saw myself, my wife, in her. I knew where that was headed, and it nearly ended the same way, albeit not intentionally, unlike my wife. See, I got sober. Once we discovered we were having a baby, I knew I couldn't keep going on the way I had been, and it was time to grow the fuck up. This kid deserved better. Not that we were, like, dangerous or gross, but just...it isn't fair to a child to bring it into that kind of environment, regardless of your pure hearted intentions. So I got sober. But my wife...she just...she couldn't handle it. She needed to self medicate."

"A lot of them do, no judgment," Helena said, picking up her coffee and sipping it.

"Exactly, I understood, I didn't hold it against her at all," John replied, "I just focused on my own sobriety, and our daughter. But she couldn't cope. So one night she piled herself and our kid in the car, wrote a note, took a whole lotta everything and drove the car straight into a wall at the highest speed she could."

"jesus, John," Helena whispered, sounding genuinely shocked, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Somehow my daughter survived, and I'm so happy she's here," John said, "she's my whole world. Everything that I do I do for her. That's why I want her to come work with me, with us, because...because it would make her so happy. Everyone here is understanding, there's no danger in our job. I understand it might get some strange looks, but if we put her specifically for jobs for developmentally disabled kids, like herself, then it should be fine. If anything, it would be relieving to the child, to their parents, to see an 'adult' with these issues being self sufficient, totally capable of being okay in the world after adolescence."

Helena smiled. She admitted John's fortitude, she had to admit. His refusal to back down for what he wanted for his kid. She lifted her coffee back to her lips and sipped again, then finished her donut and wiped her hands on the napkin on the table she'd been using.

"I'm so sorry," she said, "that that happened to you, to her, to your wife. That's absolutely awful. And you're right. What we do isn't dangerous, and we could find a place for her, yes. None of what you said can realistically be argued with. I only wish I had the chance to do the same as you for Adam."

"Why can't you?" John asked, picking a donut hole from a box and popping it in his mouth, chewing. Helena sighed.

There was an answer. She just didn't like to say it.

                                                                              ***

Alexis had been asleep when she'd gotten the call.

It woke her up from a deep snooze, scaring her. She reached down off the couch and fondled the floor nearby for her phone, and eventually answered only to hear her sister, Ellen, in a hushed voice, asking for help. Alexis sat up and pushed her messy hair from her face, now fully awake instantly.

"What's going on?" she had asked, and Ellen hung up. That was all Alexis needed. She called Geena, but no answer. She swore under her breath, then dialed John, but, again, got no answer. Alexis was starting to get frustrated. Where was everyone that mattered when she needed them? She tried Lilian. No answer. Now getting outright pissed, Alexis climbed off the couch and pulled some pants on, then knew exactly who she could go to.

Rick had been stocking various cheese in a display case that day for work. Not that he'd ever admit it, but he found this kind of menial task work soothing, in an almost hypnotic, zen like way. He liked organizing. He liked standing back, when it was all said and done, and admiring his handiwork. Rick backed away from the display, hands proudly on his hips, and he smiled. Suddenly he felt the presence of someone nearby and looked to see Alexis standing there next to him.

"...this is what you find joy in now?" Alexis asked, and Rick nodded, grinning.

"God I wanna get fucked up," he replied, making her laugh before he asked, "what are you doing here anyway? Are you gonna start outright stalking me, cause that could be kinda hot."

"I need your help," Alexis said. Rick gathered the now empty boxes and began carrying them to the back room, Alexis hot on his heels; she continued, "nobody else is answering me, and...and to be honest, I'm not sure I'd trust anyone else considering it has to do with a sibling, and you have an amazing sister."

As they reached the backroom, Rick dropped the boxes into a nearby pile then turned to face her.

"You met my sister?" he asked.

"I went and looked her up, yes," Alexis remarked, "yes, and she's...she's awesome, dude. But that's why I feel safest coming to you. My sister needs help, and I...I need you, Rick. I can't go back to our house alone."

"Sure you can," Rick said, "you can do anything you want."

"Okay, how about I don't WANT to, then?" Alexis said, "is that enough of an admission for you. Our parents made our youth a living hell. Why do you think I ended up an addict to begin with? I'm only okay now because my sister Geena and my friend John refused to let me go any further down that path. Now Ellen needs help, and I can be the one to give that to her."

"Then why the fuck you coming to me for?" Rick asked, stopping working and staring at her, adding, "after all, you and I made different choices. Look where you are now, compared to where I am. You got sober. You're working that job you love. I'm stocking cheese. Now I'm not saying I don't like stocking cheese, because I do, but what good could I really be for you? To bring an addict to help save someone from other addicts? That sounds ridiculous, right?"

Alexis couldn't even argue. He was right. She sat down on a nearby crate and buried her face in her hands, speaking muffled.

"Yes, realistically speaking it's a bad idea, and you're right, I don't need you to come with me," Alexis said.

"Exactly, you're a strong, independent woman," Rick said, leaning back against the shelving, folding his arms.

"I will kill you in this room and nobody will find you," Alexis replied, "so maybe I don't need you to come with me, but how about I want you to? Is that a valid enough fucking reason for your logic?"

"Alright, well, if you're gonna be so pathetic as to beg, then I suppose I have no choice but to give into your desires," Rick said. He sat down on the crate beside her and, taking her chin between his fingers, turned her face to meet his, making her blush as he added, "I joke, but I'm glad you came to me. I'm glad you trust me enough. And you know I would do anything for you."

Alexis nodded slowly as he pressed his lips against hers, and she happily kissed him back. Once they parted, he grinned, patting her thigh.

"Let's go save your sister," he said.

                                                                         ***

Lilian and Maddie had gone out to get take out for everyone, leaving Lux and Miranda alone. Lux was still sitting at the table, looking at her now empty cocoa mug, while Miranda did some dishes in the kitchen behind her. Neither one had said a word since the others had left, but Lux appreciated the small comfort of Miranda's presence, especially in doing something so normal and mundane in proximity to her. After a bit, she heard the water shut off, Miranda sigh, and then she saw Miranda pull out a chair at the table and sit beside her.

"I know it isn't the same, but," Miranda started, "for what it's worth, I know what it's like not to be heard. Listened to. Understood or told your feelings are lesser than mens. Back before I transitioned, if I had an opinion, people may not have respected it, but they at least heard it and acknowledged it with sincerity, because I was a man. But now? Now I'm lucky if anyone takes me seriously. Women are just...we're a second class citizen. That's all there is to it. And moreso if we're women that don't follow the norm. Women who were abused, traumatized, or maybe, in my case, didn't grow up as women."

Lux looked at Miranda and listened, taking it all in.

"For what it's worth, I won't tell you that your feelings are valid. You know they are. You don't need someone else to confirm that. What good does a strangers confirmation give you on something you already know for certain yourself? And I won't tell you that you're stronger as a result of it either, because all that does is insinuate that you have to undergo intense trauma in order to be worthy of respect and strength, which is also bullshit. But what I will say is this...nobody can ever tell you who you are otherwise, and that's worth a lot. Trust me on this."

Lux stared at Miranda and nodded slowly, understanding.

"So even if your folks don't love you as much as you wanted, other people do, and I know it can hurt to not have the love of your family, believe me I know first hand, there's other people who are your family, even if they aren't blood related, and guess what, those people love you because of who you are, not because you're who they expected you to be. If people don't love you because you failed to meet some bullshit expectation set before your birth, then how real was their love to begin with, like Maddie's mom," Miranda said, and Lux, without warning, lunged forward, hugging her and crying. Miranda rubbed her back gently, soothing the poor, distraught young girl.

Miranda knew what it was like to be a terrified little girl, contantly let down by the adults around her, and, like Lilian, she refused to play that same role.

                                                                          ***

"Loss, whatever kind, isn't something you're ever really prepared for, or equipped to handle, no matter how much you might think you are," Helena said, "all the psyching up and preparation in the world won't mean shit when the chips are down, and loss is at your front door."

Alexis and Rick could hear the shouting, the screaming, the glass smashing from inside the house as they exited the car in the driveway. They walked briskly up to the house and Alexis tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge, clearly locked. Rick pushed her out of the way slightly, backed up and, using all his force, kicked the door in. Alexis had to admit...she would've jumped him right then and there had they not been in public. Together they headed inside and found themselves in the small foyer, unsure exactly where Ellen was.

"Everything comes at you so fast, and, in the moment, you make rash decisions that could either help or hurt you or soomeone else down the line, regardless of whether your intention is good hearted or not," Helena continued, "because even trying to do the right thing can result in the wrong thing happening, and things getting worse for everyone."

That's when they saw Ellen come tumbling down the stairs, their parents fighting at the top of it. Rick grabbed Ellen off the ground, as Alexis looked around and noticed a baseball bat in the umbrella can by the door. Rick noticed a small bag of something clutched in Ellens hand and instantly recognized it as cocaine, then looked up as her father arrived at the bottom step and kicked him in the face, sending him onto his back. And then, without any warning otherwise, Rick, as he was laying there staring at the ceiling, nursing his jaw, heard screaming. He craned his neck up and witnessed Alexis beating her father in the face with the bar while her mother screamed at the top of the stairs. Rick, eyes wide, eventually pulled himself back up off the floor, grabbed Alexis, and pulled her away. Ellen scrambled up and raced out the front door, as Rick held Alexis's face in his hands and looked in her eyes.

"We do things for those that we love without thinking of the ramifications of our actions, because, well, if we believe we're doing them for the right reasons, why would we assume those ramifications be negative?" Helena asked, "but even our goodhearted actions can have unintended negative consequences. Consequences that can, in the end, ruin our lives."

Alexis pushed forward and kissed Rick, and he kissed her back. After the kiss, lips barely apart as she breathed into his mouth, they both glanced towards her father, unmoving on the floor, and she whispered, "...what do we do?"

"...run," Rick said, "we run."

And so they did. They were out the door, in the car with Ellen and down the street in seconds flat. John ate another donut hole and wiped his hands on his pants as Helena finished her coffee and put her now empty cup on the table between them.

"So what happened?" John asked, "why can't you bring Adam into work the way I want to bring Star? You say you visit him all the time, just bring it up, see what he says."

"He won't say anything John," Helena said, "because he's dead."

That, John had to admit, he did't know how to respond to.

When Lilian got the black envelope, everyone knew what it meant.

It had been something they'd all hoped to never receive, and, for the most part, hadn't. There'd only been one instance of someone getting it before, and that was Alexis who had refused to do the job, much to Vera's frustration. When she first held it in her hands, Lilian couldn't believe it. Alexis, Vera, Rina, Tyler and Miranda were all around to watch her open it, slide the work paper out, and read it silently, all of them peeking over her shoulder. A funeral. A funeral for a little girl who'd died of cancer. A little girl who'd loved princesses. Lilian was shaking a little, but she was nothing if not the most professional of them all, sans Vera, so she was going to give this job the proper respect it deserved. Still, now standing near the snack tables where the wake was being held, she could hear Alexis's comment loud and clear.

"Goddamn dude, what a bummer."

She wasn't wrong. A wake is, after all, a type of party. It had initially been Tyler's idea to issue the black envelopes, including wakes as part of their efforts, and everyone had uncomfortably agreed to go along with it, but thankfully they'd rarely had to go through with one. Lilian tapped her fingers on the plastic red cup in her hands, sipping her cider as she watched permanently bereaved family members hug one another, kiss one another, hoping to find some kind of solace in a world so cruel it would kill a child. Lilian sighed and turned back towards the table, scooping some chips up in her hand and shoveling them in her mouth. Suddenly she noticed a girl, about on the cusp of teenagerhood, standing next to her.

"I can't believe they actually did it," she said.

"You and me both," Lilian said, lifting her drink to her lips.

"It just seems...gross, right?" the girl asked, "like...like yeah, she liked princesses, but she's not here."

"She's kinda here," Lilian remarked, glancing over her shoulder at the open coffin, making the girl smirk as she added, "but I suppose I understand the mentality of bending to the whims of a dead child. Having her interests be represented at this wake makes it feel less like she's gone and more like a celebration of sorts. It would've made her happy, and that's what we should all spend our time doing if we have children, making them happy."

"I guess," the girl said, shrugging as she and Lilian turned to face the crowd once more.

"How did you know her?" Lilian asked, and the girl sighed.

"Support therapy," the girl said, "I have cancer too, but mine's nowhere near as aggressive. All the kids in the therapy know one another. We aren't exactly friends, but we are friendly. We all thought she'd get better, she was so young, it just doesn't seem fair."

"A friend of mine worked a party about two years ago," Lilian said, "a birthday party, where this little boy ate some candy and died as a result. Ever since then I've been acutely aware of how nasty the world is, even though I experienced it firsthand myself as a child. The world doesn't care about your age, your innocence, your purity. We're all fodder. But it also doesn't kill with malice. It's ambivalent to us. It's not personal."

"...wow, you're depressing," the girl said, "I like you."

The girl and Lilian laughed, before the girl was called away and had to leave. Lilian grabbed more chips.

"She's not wrong, you are depressing," a voice said, and Lilian turned to see Greg there.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, confused.

"I do therapy work for kids in the hospital," Greg said.

"You're not a child therapist," Lilian said.

"I'm a kid on the inside," Greg replied, the both of them chuckling; Greg pushed his hair from his face and turned to look at everyone, continuing, "giving kids therapy is much different than giving therapy to adults, but especially giving dying children therapy. That's a very unique experience. A lot of people think kids cannot comprehend the magnitude of their situation, but they're much more intelligent than most adults seem to believe. Kids understand more than we think. Certainly, the idea of nonexistence is weird to them, because all they know is the five or six or seven years they've been alive. The older they get the easier it becomes, but when they're very young, like a lot of the children in this hospital wing are, it can be a bit more difficult, but that doesn't make it any less important. They're already in a scary situation, the last thing they need is a lack of understanding of said situation."

Lilian smiled warmly. Greg was such a good person, and she was grateful to know him, as her therapist or not. She turned with him and together they stood there, snacking, drinking, watching. So many families, so many kids, clearly this child had been loved, and that made her all the more sad. They were so loved, and yet...they weren't here to experience that warmth. And then she saw him.

"You alright?" Greg asked, noticing Lilian tensing up.

"It's him," she whispered, pointing to a man in a suit, "...it's Michael."

                                                                           ***

Vera had only done a few parties in her time being a proper employee, and most of those were for very little kids, kids so little that they probably wouldn't be able to remember having her there when they got older. But still, a gig was a gig, and she was more than happy to abide. But this party was different, this was for a young girl, about 9, who would in fact recall having her there. Though, to be honest, she felt a little strange being there for a 9 year old. She figured a kid that age would feel embarrassed having a costumed character at their party. What she didn't know, however, was that it had been the kids request. The front door opened while Vera contemplated how this day was going to go, and a handsome, tall, black man was standing there. He smiled politely at her, then allowed her to enter.

"Thank you for coming," he said.

"...there's...not really anyone else here," Vera remarked, laughing awkwardly.

"I know, it's...it's a tough situation. Um," the man said, shutting the door and pulling his sports coat on, "I have to go to work, it was something I couldn't get out of, awful scheduling conflict, and as a result, we weren't able to really plan a proper party, so I figured, this way-"

"We're not a babysitting service, sir," Vera said, feeling a little annoyed.

"I know that, but..." the man said, sighing, approaching Vera, his voice lowering as he glanced past her towards the hallway; he added, "...her mother died last year. And not from some, long, drawn out illness. Just a heart attack, right in the middle of making her lunch while we played outside. I had to keep her from going back in the house once I found her. She needs this, please."

Vera had to admit, that hurt her heart to hear. She looked back at the hall before turning her attention back to the man as he headed for the door.

"Is there anything...anything I should do? Anything specific?" Vera asked.

"Whatever she wants, I guess," the man said, "good luck."

With that he exited, leaving Vera alone in the living room. She groaned and threw her arms up in frustration. Then she turned and looked around, taking in her surroundings. The house was well kept, clean and organized, with all manner of family photos either hung on the wall or placed on various shelves. Vera approached one near the TV, it featured the man, his dead wife and their daughter and she picked it up, smiling. The family looked so happy, and it reminded Vera of her own family when she was little. At least, before things got bad. Vera then put the photo down and headed to the hallway. She walked down the hall and knocked on the bedroom door that was clearly marked as a childs, with stickers on it, before opening it when she received no answer. Peering inside she found it empty. She felt confused, then noticed, through the window, a treehouse in the backyard. Vera walked back out, headed through the sliding glass door that led to the backyard, and went to the treehouse. She sighed, reached out and grabbed onto the ladder hung from the treehouse to the ground, climbing up. When she got to the top and looked inside, she noticed the little girl, sitting in the corner of the treehouse, dressed as a fairy herself. She looked up and caught Vera's eyes, her eyes filled with tears.

"...are you a fairy too?" the little girl asked, and Vera nodded slowly as she pulled herself up into the treehouse and sat cross legged across from the girl, who sniffled and then, tapping her plastic light up wand on the floor, asked, "can you make wishes come true?"

"Uh, well, depends on what the wish is. Something easy? Sure," Vera said, "for example, I can get you a piece of cake."

"I don't want cake," the girl whispered, "i want my mom."

Vera felt that in her soul.

                                                                         ***

Lilian, with Greg still, was watching Michael's every move. How he acted around the adults, appearing as if he were totally normal. As if he wasn't an absolute creep. Lilian grimaced and tapped her foot anxiously as Greg sipped his drink and bit the cheese cube off the top of his toothpick.

"What is he even doing here?" she snarled through her teeth.

"He must've known her, or knows someone who knew her," Greg said, "you say he's a judge on the child beauty pageant circle, so maybe one of these girls is a contestant of his, and he knew her by proxy. Maybe she participated herself. I don't know."

That's when she saw Anna, and got even more confused. Why would his assistant be here? Anna, however, wasn't with Michael. She was a bit aways, leaning against a wall by herself, sipping a drink and wiping at her eyes, clearly having been crying. Lilian looked at Greg, who returned the glance, raising an eyebrow.

"Come with me," she said, and he nodded. Lilian grabbed Greg by the arm and led him through the room, towards the hall. As they passed closeby, her and Anna caught sight of one another - which was what Lilian was attempting to do - and Lilian jerked her head towards the hall, indicating Anna should follow her. Anna nodded solemnly, finished her drink and set the glass down before wiping her mouth on her jacket sleeve and heading into the hall with them. Once the three of them had gotten down the hall a bit, they formed a semicircle and looked at one another.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lilian asked.

"He was a friend of the families, judged her older sister in pageants," Anna said, making Greg snap his fingers.

"If only I were a bettin' man," he said, making Lilian smirk a little.

"He used to bring gifts to the hospital for the child, only to hope to run into her sister, who, by the way, I say is older, but...she's 14. She was 9 when he started judging her. Thankfully, her parents are watchful, they don't leave him alone with her, but still...they felt obligated to invite him."

"Why are you here?" Lilian asked.

"Why do you think," Anna said flatly, sounding defeated, "to possibly vet new girls for pageants."

"At a WAKE?" Greg asked, now sounding pissed, "that's absolutely vile."

"...you don't even know the things I've seen, heard, had to hide. You don't...you don't know what a gift it is to be deaf until you hear a grown man take advantage of a young girl," Anna said, making Lilian's skin crawl; Anna continued, "he's an animal. No impulse control. I always have to clean up after him. Smooth things over with these poor girls after he's done his damage. Now I'm tired of it."

"I want you to come with me to the police," Lilian said, "I don't feel safe taking it myself. I need someone who's close to him."

"As if the police wouldn't be on his side," Greg mumbled, surprising Lilian, who looked at him until he added, "you know they're simply a force there to keep people like that in power because it's things they themselves support. The police aren't there to help you and I, ordinary citizens, no, they're a mobile task unit for the elite, a shield for the wealthy. I'm just saying, don't be surprised if they don't care."

"What kind of anti-capitalist hole did you crawl out?" Anna asked, making Greg laugh.

"I'm not anti-capitalist. I love money just as much as the next guy. I just happen to believe that peoples worth and value shouldn't come at the expense of it," Greg replied, shrugging, lifting the remainder of his drink to his lips. Anna then turned her sights back to Lilian and sighed, shaking her head.

"I can't," she whispered, "I can't, he would...it would be..."

"Anna," Lilian said, "he tried to do it to me too. When I was these girls age. He came into my dressing room, he tried to do it to me. We can stop him, right now. We have the means, together, the two of us. We can put an end to lots of girls suffering. We just have to be brave. Now goddammit I am a princess, and I'll be damned if I'm going to allow the continued abuse of my loyal subjects at the hands of a tyrant."

Anna looked Lilian in the eyes for a moment, and then she smiled.

"...okay," Anna said, "I'll help."

                                                                                 ***

"She used to tell me fantasy bedtime stories," the girl said, sitting with Vera in the treehouse; she continued, "at nighttime, she would sit on my bed and she would tell me stories until I fell asleep, and my favorite were the fairies. She wrote stories about fairies that got made into real books. But she was always telling me new ones, ones nobody else had heard yet."

"That sounds special," Vera said, "my mom worked a lot when I was young, but she tried her best to be there for me. You should hold close to those memories, cause those are the ones that are the best, that bring you comfort."

"Dd she stop trying to be there?" the girl asked, and Vera sighed, shrugging.

"She and my dad had a lot of problems together, but they tried their best to make it good for me. Still, by the time I was twelve or so, I guess they figured I was old enough to stop pretending, and they started fighting a lot more until my mom finally left. I always thought maybe I'd done something to make her leave, but I know it wasn't me. She still loves me, but...but I'm still mad at them both for not working things out more for my sake, but then I feel selfish because that wasn't what was right for them. It's hard. Being an adult is difficult. You know your dad is doing his best for you, right?"

The little girl nodded, and looked down at her wand again, as Vera thought about things. Thought about Tyler. His insecurities about being a father. Maybe she was being too harsh on him, cause she had her own thanks to how her family had fallen apart. Maybe she should try to be more understanding, listen to him more. She promised herself she'd talk to him more openly about this when she got home tonight. Vera looked out the window of the treehouse, noticing the wind chimes hanging, blowing in the breeze, before she smiled and looked back at the girl.

"You know," Vera said, "fairies are often not able to be seen by people. So maybe...maybe your mom is a fairy. Think about it, you can't see her now, can you? So who's to say she isn't out there, watching you, granting wishes? Have you wanted something lately and gotten it?"

The little girl thought for a moment, then looked up at Vera.

"I wanted a fairy at my fairy party," she said, and Vera smiled.

"And here I am," Vera said, making the girls eyes light up. She crawled across the floor of the treehouse, wrapped her arms around Vera and hugged tightly, Vera hugging her back.

Vera finally got it. She got why Lilian, why Alexis, why they all did this job. Having been on the boss side of things for so long, she had a lot of trouble understanding why they would choose to do this, but now she got it. Now it made sense. She understood why Lilian had fought so hard for Maddie. The best gift you can bring to a child on their birthday isn't an item.

It was comfort.

                                                                                ***

Lilian approached Michael through the crowd, Anna and Greg behind her. As she got closer, he turned his focus towards her, the people he was talking to turning and walking away. Michael looked her up and down briefly, then snapped his fingers at her.

"I know you!" he said, "you started judging recently, right?"

"You do know me, but not for that," Lilian said, "I used to do pageants when I was little. You were a judge then."

Michael's eyes widened a little in surprise. He was almost never approached by adult women he'd judged as a child.

"Oh, well, it's nice to see you maintained an interest in the work," he said, "if you ever need help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask my assistant," he added, pointing at Anna behind her.

"Actually, funny you say that, because I already did," Lilian said, leaning in towards him and lowering her voice, "and you're done. You're done doing this. I'm not going to let you do to other little girls what you tried to do to me. I was lucky enough to have an overly watchful mother. You may have been the judged, but now...you're about to be the judged."

With that, Lilian turned, along with Anna and Greg, and walked away, leaving Michael white as a sheet and speechless. When they got outside, the two of them hugged Lilian, who started crying, and she thanked them both. The thing about bravery, Lilian had learned from Maddie, wasn't that the bravest thing you could do was act, not just want to act. Maddie had spoken up, had saved her father, and that bravery, from a child, had made Lilian realize she could do the same thing for other young girls. But, funny enough, Maddie was about to one up her again, because right now, Maddie was opening the door to the apartment to a terrified Lux.

"...are you okay?" Maddie asked.

"no," Lux said, pushing her way into the apartment, Maddie closing the door behind them.

Lilian was heading straight from therapy to a job, so she'd arrived in costume, and this was the first time, really, that her therapist, Greg, had seen her like this. He had to admit, she made a pretty good princess. The session went well, as expected. Lilian hadn't been having that many problems as of late, so really their sessions these days were primarily just her discussing her life, in a sort of open diary kind of way. Greg was fine with this. After being with her through some truly awful times, he was nothing if not thrilled to see her be steady and stable, happy. Lilian was packing her things, preparing to head out, as Greg did the same.

"You going to your second job?" Lilian asked, making Greg smirk.

"Yeah, those fryers aren't gonna work themselves," he said, the both of them laughing; Greg slung his bag over his shoulder and said, "come on, I'll walk you to the elevator, take it down with you."

"That sounds nice," Lilian said, the both of them heading out of the office. Greg's office was on the 9th floor of the building, his own little private practice, as he rented the space amongst a bunch of other people and companies. Walking together towards the elevator, Lilian couldn't help but chew on her lip, curious; she finally asked, "okay, so, off the clock...how crazy do you think I'd be to take that stuff she gave me and hand it into the proper authorities?"

"Have you looked through it yourself?" Greg asked, and Lilian nodded.

"Multiple times. Had Miranda look through it with me too," she said, "I'm just scared. I know it's the right thing to do, but I also know it'll change my life for a good while. I'll be expected to show up in court, probably, to testify since I was one of his near victims, and I don't wanna drag that poor women in with me, even though she's the one all this information came from. I just don't know what to do."

Greg and Lilian stopped at the elevator and Greg pressed a button, waiting for it to arrive.

"I guess, all we really can do," Greg said, clearing his throat, "is just try to accept that sometimes we need to put the needs of others in front of our own sense of safety. Lilian, your entire job is predicated on the belief that you're making the day better for someone, so why not do the same in your personal life? You want little girls to have the best birthday? Help give them a safe life as well. Take this guy down."

Lilian smiled and nodded in response. Greg had gotten to know her so well that she just took his advice at face value. He was so well put together, so sensible, she couldn't help but admire him. The elevator showed up and the doors slid open, surprising them. Inside was Vera, Tyler, Alexis, John and Helena. Lilian looked confused, but entered anyway, Greg by her side.

"What are you all doing here?" she asked as Greg pressed a button to go down to the parking lot.

"Meeting with an insurance agent," Helena said, looking through a folder of papers, "everyone had to show up, except you, seeing as you had a prior engagement."

"I had a prior engagement, you made me come," Alexis said.

"Eating chips while watching nature documentaries does not count as a prior engagement," Helena said, making Alexis scoff. Helena then shut the folder and looked up, smiling at Greg, holding her hand out for him to shake as she added, "Helena Langdon."

"Greg Arakki," Greg replied, shaking her hand.

"So how was therapy?" Alexis asked, "did you cry?"

"What happens in therapy is confidential," Lilian said, crossing her arms.

"You totally cried," Alexis replied, the both of them smirking at one another.

"Is everyone working today? Is that why we're all in costume?" Lilian asked, and everyone but Helena and John nodded. Lilian then turned her focus to John, who looked more than disgruntled to be here. John, after a few seconds, finally noticed and locked eyes with her; she asked, "and what about you?"

"I'm here to take Alexis to work," John said, an out and out lie. Sure, that was something he was going to do, but they had their own little meeting to stop off and take care of first. Lilian looked back at Greg, who was checking his watch.

"You gonna be late for something?" she asked.

"My daughters recital," Greg said, "but I'll be fine. It's not for another hour."

Just then the elevator creaked and came to a grinding halt, the light inside flickering. Greg turned to the button panel and started pressing the ground floor key again and again, muttering to himself. Everyone in the elevator groaned, and Greg then gave up and leaned against the wall, running a hand down his face. He sighed and looked at everyone, before noticing the cigarette in Alexis's shirt pocket and nodding at it.

"What's that about?" he asked.

"Something someone gave me," Alexis mumbled.

"Someone gifted you a cigarette?" Greg asked.

"It was this guy, at rehab. I won't smoke it. It's a long story," Alexis said.

"Looks like we got nothing but time, so please, regale me," Greg said, and Alexis rolled her eyes.

"Hey, you're not my therapist, okay?" Alexis said, "besides, nothing left to tell beyond that. Just another interpersonal relationship I couldn't salvage. Story of my goddamned life. Between my parents and now Rick, I've got a pretty good track record of wanting to be close to certain people who simply can't be close to me because drugs are more important."

John smiled a little. To hear Alexis say such a thing, with such a hint of vitriol, made him proud. She'd come a long way. He knew she'd never be outright judgmental to those who used, but it was nice to hear her, for once, acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, relationships were more important than getting fucked up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to press the matter," Greg said.

"You're not pressing anything but her buttons," Helena said coldly, "and frankly, while I understand the sentiment of keeping something from someone who meant something to you, I also think it's ridiculous to carry that memento around as much as she does."

"It's not the only thing, he also gave me this necklace," Alexis said, grabbing at the gem hanging around her throat.

"Exactly, so why do you need the cigarette?" Helena asked.

"Maybe she doesn't need it, she just wants it," Vera chimed in, surprising Alexis who looked at her in near shock. Vera? Fucking Vera, of all people, was coming to her rescue? Unheard of. Vera continued, "there's nothing wrong with simply wanting something, without a need for it. For example, my parents are alive and well, but I still wear this ring my mother gave me for graduation simply because it's hers and it makes me feel good to have her close to me everyday. It isn't for closure, it isn't for any reason other than I want to."

"...thank you," Alexis said.

"I agree," Greg said, "I don't think there's a need for necessity or explanation. I think Alexis is perfectly fine just wanting to have it, regardless of anything else."

"I'll be honest, I don't get it, but I won't judge her for it," Tyler said.

"That's rich, coming from you," Vera said softly, surprising everyone, including Tyler, who looked at her with big eyes; she rolled her eyes and sighed, continuing, "I mean, you know what I want, but you judge me for it all the time. Even though you said you wanted the same thing."

"That's different, for one, I'm not judging you, and for two, I'm just trying to make sure we're ready is all, okay?" Tyler said sternly, "you know I want it too, it just isn't the right time yet. We're barely making enough to support ourselves, let alone support a-"

Tyler caught himself, and glanced around the elevator at the others before exhaling and going quiet.

"What, you don't even want to tell others I want a baby with you?" Vera asked, before looking at the others and adding, "yeah, that's right, we've been talking about having a kid. But Tyler, despite telling me he wants it for a good while, won't actually commit to the follow through, and I know that financial difficulties is a legitimate reason but for god sakes we're not as strapped for cash as you think, dude."

"Tyler?" Greg asked, and Tyler looked at him as Greg asked, "if I may? Uh, could your reasoning stem from being around kids all day, and maybe the last thing you want to do is come home and be a father too?"

"No, not at all, I'd love to be a dad," Tyler said.

"Except you clearly don't," Vera said quietly, looking at her shoes.

"Is it to do with the dead kid?" Lilian asked, catching everyone off guard; Lilian sighed and explained, "about two years ago, Tyler worked at a party where a little boy died. It shook him up pretty bad. Is it that? Are you just scared that that kind of thing could happen to you? You're scared to be held responsible for anything bad that might happen to a child you bring into this world? I know what it's like to feel responsible for kids..."

Tyler sniffled. He didn't ever want to revisit that, but it was, in fact, the correct answer. Tyler put his hands over his face and groaned as he slid down the wall to the floor of the elevator.

"I had to watch it happen," he whimpered, "I had to stand here and watch it happen, and nobody asked me how I was afterward. Never really talked to anyone about it. I've been around so many dead kids. When I was a kid, my aunt got into an accident and her son died, and then when I was a teenager I had a cousin who got pregnant and lost the kid a year in due to SIDS. It's like...it's like if kids even come into remote contact with me their mortality chances go up exponentially."

"That isn't true," Vera said, reaching out and rubbing his back, "hey, that isn't true. Look at Maddie. You've been around Maddie ever since that incident and she's thriving, if anything."

Tyler couldn't deny this, thankfully. Maddie was, in fact, thriving. She'd come so far, thanks to the support of them all, and he'd been a big part of that. The truth was, though, that Tyler was afraid he'd screw up. He'd have a hand in something awful happening to whatever kid he helped bring into this world. He glanced over at Vera, who just smiled warmly at him.

"Don't you want a baby with me?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Trust me," John said, "that isn't what'll bring you peace the way you think it will. Families fall apart all the time, sometimes without any help."

"Yeah but isn't it worthwhile to have a child?" Alexis asked, looking over at John, who shrugged. Alexis felt hurt. She scowled, then added, "I mean, isn't that why you're..."

She stopped, looked at everyone in the elevator, then sighed.

"...isn't that why you're adopting me?" she asked, taking everyone by surprise.

"It...it is, yes," John said, "I'm just saying that loving someone and having a baby isn't the happy ending we've been sold on. Every piece of media, it seems, is intent on making us believe that the delivery is the start of a happy family, the marriage the start of a happy romance, but more often than not they're signifiers of things falling apart, with or without our effort."

"So Hollywood lies to us, big surprise," Alexis snapped back, "it's still worth it to try, isn't it?!"

John didn't realize it before, but his statement had hurt Alexis, and he felt bad now. He'd just been struggling so much with Star lately, with debating whether or not to get a full apartment, take her out and bring her to live with him. He didn't know what to do and it'd been stressing him out. On one hand, at the hospital, she was guaranteed good help and security, but on the other, living with her father would make them both so very happy.

"I didn't...I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything negative by it," John said, "I just wanted to speak from experience."

"But your past experiences don't dictate your whole life, there's more to come," Alexis said, standing up, sniffling, "do you not want me as a daughter? Were you just doing that to placate my doubts about whether or not someone in this world actually wanted me? I thought you cared!"

"I do care!" John said, brushing past Helena and holding Alexis by the shoulders, "Alex, I do care, so much. I'm sorry. Of course I care. Of course I want you as part of my family. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that all came out wrong. I love you very much, and I want to do this with you."

"It seems to me that you people have a problem with not talking about your problems," Greg said, everyone looking at him. He smiled weakly and scratched at his nose, adding, "after all, communication, whether it's romantic or platonic, is a necessity. You can't expect to build something with someone if you don't talk to them, openly. Trust me, I know."

Lilian looked at Greg with one eyebrow raised, confused as to what he meant by this. She opted not to pry, and just listen.

"Talking, honestly and willingly, is the key to making connections with others," Greg said, "you can't solve anything with silence. Silence just deepens the already growing trench. So Vera, Tyler, if you're looking to have a family, you need to have a lot of discussions about, no matter how uncomfortable. And John, Alexis, if you're looking to make a family together as surrogate father/daughter, then you too need to talk about it because there's more to being family than just being related, whether by blood or by paper. Helena," Greg said, catching her attention now as he said, "I think you're pushing too hard. I know you're trying to be the boss, but I think you're making everyone slightly unsure of themselves, and you need to maybe approach things with a sense of softness. I know it might not be how you're used to handling things, but this isn't your usual group of workers."

Helena nodded slowly in recognition. Greg checked his watch and sighed.

"I'm a bad father," he whispered, catching everyone off guard. Lilian put a hand on his shoulder.

"No, you're not, don't say that," Lilian said, and Greg smirked.

"I appreciate that, but I find simply expressing my thoughts in the moment, even if they're untrue, to be helpful in navigating them," Greg said, "but thank you, Lilian. I just promised I would be there and so far it's looking like I won't be. Again. This is the third time recently I've missed something of hers."

Alexis squeeze past everyone and balled up her hand into a fist and smashed the button panel, causing the elevator to start up again to everyone surprise, even her own. She shrugged as the elevator started heading further down. As it reached the bottom floow and everyone filed off - Tyler and Vera to their respective jobs, Helena back to her office and John and Alexis to the lawyer for the adoption papers - except for Greg and Lilian.

"Are you okay?" Lilian asked, sounding genuinely worried.

"At the moment? No. But that's the thing, it's a moment. I will be okay," Greg said, smiling before Lilian leaned in and hugged him.

"I'm here for you," Lilian whispered, and Greg patted her on the back, thanking her. Greg then went the opposite direction of her, got into his car and headed to the 'recital'. He pulled into the parking lot, he walked into the massive building, and he headed for the correct room. When he finally found his daughter and wife, his daughter was asleep in the charm, hooked up to various tubes. He'd promised he'd be here for this round of chemo, and he'd kept his promise. His wife looked up as he entered and stood up, approaching him.

"Elevator at work got jammed, I'm sorry," Greg said, "how is she?"

"She's doing fine," Kristen said, "she'll be happy to see you."

"That's what I'm here for," Greg said, smiling, "to help."

Lilian couldn't help but feel like a creep, even though she wasn't creeping. It's just that, with so many pretty girls in gorgeous gowns and swimsuits, she really became acutely aware of just how gay she actually was. Course, she wasn't here for the adult competition, that was just a side effect of these things being held on the same grounds. She was here to help judge and bolster support for the pageant for the little girls involved. Standing in the main foyer that connected the two show halls, tapping her pen on her clipboard as she watched yet another lithe, tall, perfectly maintained blonde bombshell in a one piece swimsuit stroll on by, Lilian chewed her lip until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"So," Patricia Kearning asked, "how does it feel to be on the circuit now that you've undergone all the training?"

"Gotta admit, didn't know there was training for something where you simply judge others appearances," Lilian remarked.

"Well, it isn't just the looks, it's the whole package. How they hold themselves, are they charismatic, are they talented, are they well minded individuals. We call them beauty pageants but I think that makes the name a misnomer to the general public because they think it's about physical beauty. It's not. It's about beauty as a human being," Kearning said, making Lilian nod in slow understanding. Kearning wasn't wrong, this was, in fact, the very viewpoint that Lilian herself had adapted over the years. And, at first, perhaps that was just her way of coping with being unwillingly involved in something so seemingly sexist growing up, but at this point she did genuinely believe it. Lilian looked around at all the little grls filing into the room in their various dresses, and she couldn't help but smile. Kearning stood by her side, arms crossed, and watched along with her. After a moment, Lilian turned back to Kearning, who just grinned and pushed her glasses up her face.

"What if I don't do it correctly? Last thing I want is to shatter some already fragile little girls self esteem," Lilian said, "if anything, I wanted to help bolster it for all of them. Make them see that their looks aren't the end all be all that society would like them to believe it is."

"And I think that's noble," Kearning said, "it's why I wanted you here, because I could tell you cared more than the others, in ways that the others were incapable of doing. You're gonna do fine, Lilian. I promise."

Kearning patted her on the back, then continued on her way, leaving Lilian to her thoughts. Her mind turned back to when she was doing this originally herself. How, growing up, she'd put so much stock into her beauty, and how tightly entwined that belief was with her own self worth. She bit her lip as her eyes scanned the room...all these young girls, all with so many hardships ahead of them, and how would they handle it? Her heart went out to them for things they didn't even know they would face yet. That's when her sight landed on one girl sitting alone on a bench, crossed legged, watching everyone else with a look of longing on her face. Lilian started to approach her when Kearning came back.

"Alright," she said, "let's get in there and get this show on the road!"

                                                                           ***

Alexis was surprised Ellen would opt to leave the house, but she did.

They'd scheduled a meet up in a small, local park, one that they'd gone to a lot when they were kids. It was an unusual park because it was circus themed, which gave Alexis the creeps as a child and those same creeps now as an adult. As she stood in front of a water fountain shaped like a clown, smoking a cigarette - Rick's still in her shirt pocket - she heard Ellen walked up beside her and stop. The sisters glanced at one another, and then back towards the water fountain as Alexis exhaled smoke.

"It's both such a great concept and a horrifying thing to witness; they make the water fountain look like a clown, but the water comes out of the flower on his lapel. It makes total sense, and yet no sense at all," Alexis said, "no kid wants to put their face that close to a clown."

"I'm sure some weirdo kid does," Ellen said.

Alexis and Ellen turned and headed into the park proper, with its circus tent playground and other various circus themed or circus adjacent equipment. As they walked, Ellen stuffed her hands into her coat pockets while Alexis lit up another cigarette and took a long drag before offering it to her sister, who politely declined. Alexis smirked.

"You never were one for vice," she said.

"I'm plenty for vice," Ellen replied, "it's just that the kind of vice I prefer isn't life threatening."

"Sexual?" Alexis asked, raising an eyebrow, making Ellen smirk.

"Please, as if I'd ever allow someone close enough to me to give them the chance," Ellen said, making Alexis laugh. Alexis knew a few things about her little sister by way of Geena; she knew Ellen liked easy to read chapter books because finishing that many in such a short span of time gave her a sense of accomplishment, she knew Ellen liked to eat white cheese and crackers for most of her snacks and she knew Ellen loved fashion so much, even if she didn't currently show it by her own example. Alexis took another long drag and exhaled. But the one thing she really knew was how disinterested in relationships and romance and sex Ellen was. Ellen was, apparently, completely asexual, and Alexis was a bit jealous, to be honest. She hated how much emphasis she placed on that kind of intimacy.

"So," Alexis said, "things at home don't seem great. I mean, dad seems to be kind of getting it together, but mom still seems really strung out, and you don't seem okay at all."

"Gee, thanks," Ellen replied, making Alexis chuckle.

"You know what I mean," Alexis said, "are you okay?"

"I can't leave them," Ellen managed to say, sounding so scared to admit it, "...they can't...they're our parents, they need help. I can't just leave like you and Geena did. Someone has to care about them, right? Besides themselves, I mean. I know people will be like 'no no, you owe your parents nothing!' but I simply can't accept that. I have to stay and help them."

Alexis wanted to tell Ellen to run. That, yes, those people were actually correct, and she didn't owe them anything. But she also knew Ellen wasn't going to listen to that. Alexis stopped and leaned against a wacky colored plastic slide, puffing on her cigarette as Ellen stopped and hugged herself self consciously.

"When I was in rehab," Alexis said, "I met this guy, and he was amazing. His name was Rick. Anyway, we wanted to be together, but he wasn't ready to be clean. Much as I would've loved to have been with him, I also told him he should get clean for himself, not just to be with me. Romantic of him, certainly, to be willing to do so, but it wasn't the right reason. But I wanted him to do it for himself because, like you and mom and dad, he doesn't owe his sobriety to me or anyone else but himself. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself. That's the thing I've had the hardest time coming to terms with."

Ellen looked down at the wood chips underneath their feet and scooted them around absent mindedly with her foot.

"He has this sister, he even tried to get clean for her and it wouldn't take. So when I tell you that you owe family nothing, I genuinely mean that, and his sister, unlike mom and dad for us, actually cares about him. I'm gonna help you if you want help, Ellen, but first you gotta wanna stop helping those who only hurt us."

Ellen nodded, then bit her lip.

"So..." she asked, finally looking up, her eyes catching her sisters, "...you never talked to his sister?"

                                                                               ***

Brian wanted everything to be perfect.

He'd cleaned up best he could, and he made some snacks, even bought a few different beers in case John wanted something. But more than that, he just wanted everything to be perfect for Maddie. It'd been a while since they'd had a visit, and he was so happy to see his daughter again. He stood in his living room, looking around and thinking about how much both their lives had changed in the last year or two. It was crazy to think that there used to be a family, a seemingly average suburban family living in this space, and now...now it was mostly him. He kept getting letters from his now ex-wife, but he wasn't opening them or acknowledging her. He didn't return them either, he just tucked them away in a shoebox and hid it in the closet. A knock on the door and Brian grinned, hobbling along on his cane to go answer it. As he tugged the door open, his eyes immediately landed on John, before noticing Maddie was still sitting in the car parked in the driveway, and his smile softened.

"Is she...is she not coming in?" Brian asked, as John made his way past, pulling his coat off and tossing it over the back of the couch.

"I think it's difficult for her," John replied, "this was her home her whole life, you know? She isn't our age, where we've had our parents home, our first apartment, maybe crashed with a few friends before finally settling down. A childs home is their home. So I guess I get the hesitancy. Still, I'm sure she'll come in in a bit."

"I...I bought beer in case you-"

"I appreciate that but I don't drink anymore," John said, realizing he'd had enough during his recent argument with Helena and not wanting to go back to drinking, before adding, "but maybe coffee?"

"I have excellent coffee," Brian said, shutting the door and heading past John to the kitchen. John seated himself at the table while Brian started making coffee, his head occasionally lifting up to look out the window over the sink at Johns car in the driveway, watching Maddie sitting in the front passenger seat, looking so defeated and sad. Brians heart couldn't help but ache for her.

"It isn't personal, I hope you know that," John said, "it's just hard for her to come back here, considering."

"No, I...I do get that," Brian said, "...I just wish I could've stopped any of this from happening in the first place."

"It wasn't your fault, that's the thing to keep in mind, none of what happened was your fault, your wife was a psycho, and I don't like using that terminology, but in your case, I think it's pretty warranted," John said, "I get it though, I do get it. I also had a sick wife who tried to hurt my family, so I understand wanting to have been able to stop it."

Brian turned and looked at John, who sighed.

"You and I ain't much different, man," John said.

                                                                             ***

It was a lunch break, and Lilian was starving. Miranda had packed her a lunch to take with her, and she was currently heading to the little cafeteria to eat it. As she walked in, she noticed groups of judges sitting together, and one of them caught her eye. Michael, disgusting Michael. There he was, sitting and laughing with the others, as if he'd never tried to molest her, or other girls. It was enough to make her stomach turn. That's when Lilian noticed the youngish woman sitting beside him staring at her, and for a moment, Lilian couldn't break eye contact. She felt as thought this woman was staring her down for a reason. But her stomach wasn't just turning because of this, it was also turning because she was hungry as hell, and that was more than enough to pull her out of this daydream. She finally found a spot where the little girl she'd seen that morning was sitting, and seated herself across from her.

"I love your dress," Lilian said happily, "very classic. You've been doing well so far in the competition and-"

"I don't think judges are supposed to talk to contestants," the little girl said.

"I know, but you seemed like you needed someone," Lilian said, "...are you feeling okay? You don't seem all that happy to be here."

The little girl shrugged and kept eating her carrot sticks, dipping them into a little container of ranch. Lilian sighed and looked around the room.

"I don't want to be here," the girl finally said, "I wanted to go to an after school program about science, but my dad me that this was important, would help make me feel better about myself. But I feel better about myself when I feel smart, and this doesn't make me feel smart. Doing science would make me feel smart. Not that girls can't be pretty AND smart, but..."

"I understand, my mom made me do it when I was little and I hated it," Lilian said, "but you're absolutely right, a girl can have more than one interest, can be more than one thing. It's good you recognize that and aren't allowing someon to put you in a box. Just skip the pageant stuff sometimes and go to the science program."

The girl looked up, confused.

"I can do that? I can just...not come here and go there instead?" she asked.

"Who says you can't?" Lilian replied, smiling, making the girl smile back. This was exactly what Lilian had come here for. Not to help judge little girls, but to help them judge themselves. To recognize that their value was more in their own hands than at the behest of others. Lilian couldn't help but feel as though she were already making a difference. Just then, Michael and that woman - presumably his assistant, as Lilian had recalled seeing her a few times before - walked past them and again they locked eyes. Once they were gone, the little girl scoffed.

"That guy creeps me out," she said, "he keeps asking if I need help with my dress or stockings."

"WHAT?" Lilian asked, pulling her attention back to the girl, "he WHAT?"

"Yeah, and I always make sure to lock the door when I'm changing," she added, "I don't trust him."

"Nor should you," Lilain said through her teeth, seething, "nor should you."

That was all she needed. Michael had to be stopped.

                                                                                ***

"Ran the car right into a wall," John said, as he and Brian headed down the hall towards a bedroom, "killed herself, was hoping to take our daughter with her, but thankfully she failed at that part. But now she's mentally crippled and unable to live by herself, or do much of anything for herself. I worry sometimes about what's going to happen once I'm gone, and she's finally alone."

Brian reached out and grabbed the doorknob, turning it and opening the door. Together, the men entered the room...Maddie's old bedroom.

"That's really awful," Brian said.

"I think a lot of people expect men to always be the villain, but sometimes that just isn't the truth," John said as they walked inside, smiling at the cute decor, "sometimes the men are the victims. It's hard to acknowledge, but it's true. Still. You did the best you could, and hey, you got your daughter to save you, that's not something a lot of parents get. You could've died."

"Just...can't believe that the woman I fathered a child with could be so heartless," Brian said as he followed John inside, looking at the photos Maddie had hung up on her wall of herself and her dad, and he smiled, "...but I was always Maddie's favorite, and I don't know, maybe Jessie felt some sort of resentment there. Either way, I just hope Maddie understands that this is still her home if she wants it to be, and just because it was bad once doesn't mean it can't be good now."

"I understand," Maddie said. The men turned to see her standing in the doorway, looking at them; she entered cautiously, and the men didn't make any sudden movements, almost as if watching a timid deer quietly so as not to spook it. She walked over to the dresser and picked up a doll, touching its hair, on the verge of tears as she said, "...I just wanted what every other kid seems to get. It isn't fair."

Brian approached his daughter and knelt in front of her, hands on her shoulders. She looked from the doll to her father, tears in both their eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm so sorry. You're right. Every child should be given that and it isn't fair you didn't. But we can try again. If you want to come home, you can. I feel pretty good at this point, I'm capable of taking care of myself mostly, and I'd like to have you come home, but only if you want to."

Maddie looked past her father at John, who just smiled warmly at her. She then looked back at her dad.

"...I can't," she said quietly, surprising him, "...I can't leave my life. I already left it once."

Brian was hurt, but he understood. She was a child. She needed stability. For the time being, the people she was with were giving that to her and she seemed to be flourishing under it, and for that he was grateful. She was taken care of, well loved, and he couldn't be happier. He hugged Maddie, and Maddie hugged him back, and for a split second, she felt like the little girl she used to be, back before all of this started. John, sitting on the bed, watched, his heart aching. He'd tried to be a good dad, and he was still trying. He and Alexis had recently gone over the adoption papers, and he was all set to turn them in, and yet he felt as though he would be betraying Star. He wanted to ask how she felt first. But sitting here, watching this display, he realized that sometimes, even if it takes a while, life cuts you a break.

And fuck did they need that now more than ever.

                                                                            ***

The bell over the door rang, as Gabby was undoing her apron and cleaning up stuff behind the counter. She didn't even look up as she tossed her hair back, hearing someone walk in.

"Sorry, we're about to close," Gabby said, "Unless you're here to rob me, then just take whatever you want. Just don't kill me. My life isn't valuable enough to trade for muffins."

She finally looked up and noticed it was a woman standing in front of the counter. Gabby stopped and walked over to the counter, looking confused. This woman was dressed as a pirate.

"Uh..." Gabby said, half laughing nervously.

"I have to get to work after this," Alexis said.

"Where do you work, Long John Silvers?" Gabby asked, making Alexis laugh.

"I'm Alexis," Alex said, "and uh...and I'm here to talk to you about your brother."

"Oh god, what did he do now?" Gabby asked, and Alexis chuckled, shaking her head.

"No, no, it's not like that, I met him in rehab a while back," Alexis said, "and he told me he had a sister. Told me about how he used to work here with you, how much he loved you. Just wanted to drop by and meet you cause...cause I guess I needed to be as close to him as possible without being able to be around him."

Gabby stopped and looked back at Alex, who was clearly struggling not to cry.

"...do you want some pie?" Gabby asked, "we could just talk, and-"

"Please," Alexis said, "please, I need to talk."

Meanwhile, Lilian, who was preparing to leave the building, stopped off first in the ladies bathroom. All in all it had been a successful day, and now she would get go home and ssee Miranda and have a lovely relaxing night together. Sure, seeing Michael made her skin crawl, but...but she figured she'd have to let that go, much as she didn't want to. She had her own experiences, heard things from others, but had no real proof of anything to hold him accountable for his actions towards the little girls he judged in the pageants, so why stir the pot? The stall door behind her unlatched as she was washing her hands and a woman stepped out.

"You know him don't you?" Anna asked, "my boss."

Lilian looked up at her in the mirror, turned the faucet off and turned to face her, confused.

"...he did something to you, didn't he?" Anna asked, continuing, "I could sense it, the way you kept looking at him. The few times you've spoken. You guys have history. Bad history. I'm tired of him letting little girls grow up to have bad history, and I'm tired of hiding things for him. So I'm giving this to you."

Anna pushed a folder into Lilian's hands, breathing so fast, clearly terrified.

"What...what is this?" Lilian asked.

"It's all the things he made me hide. Interactions with the girls he judged. Photos he took of them, alone and together. Everything. Transcripts of phone calls, whatever. You need to have this because you need to get this in the hands of someone who can stop him. I can't do this anymore. I can't let him keep hurting little girls."

Lilain couldn't believe her luck. Out of the clear blue sky, a literal angel had appeared and given her everything she'd needed to stop this disgusting predator. She'd often dreamt about the day she'd finally face Michael down in court and he would be held accountable for his crimes, but she never really thought that that day would actually come. Lilian put her arms around Anna and hugged her tightly, both women crying together. The ironic thing, she thought, was how these pageants were supposed to give men power over the women they judge, and yet women were bonding together to take them down.

She just hoped he would appreciate the irony when he was arrested.

Alexis hated grocery shopping.

Standing in the aisle with her basket around her arm, trying to find the best deal on potato chips was not her idea of an exciting time. The one thing she found she missed from drugs most of all was how exciting they made everything out to be. Even the most mundane task suddenly had an edge of thrill to it. Laundry became an olympic sport. Now everything was so dull, he senses so grounded, and she hated it. She picked up another bag and looked at them momentarily before tossing them into the bag and turning to head to another aisle, this time microwave ramen. As she rounded the corner into the aisle, she stopped dead in her tracks. Standing in the aisle, readjusting things on the shelf, was Rick. Her chest tightened, and a smile broke on her face. Whatever feelings drugs might've had on her, this was the same rush, and she loved it. She approached him, reaching up and fondling the pendent around her neck, before stopping and clearing her throat.

"You know," she said, "making something look nicer doesn't make it healthier. A beautiful alcohol display will still give you liver cancer."

Rick turned, standing up fully with his back to her, before turning to face her, the biggest, stupidest smile on his face.

"Hi," Alex said, and Rick throw his arms around her, making her blush.

"God I missed you," he whispered.

                                                                           ***

Lilian and Miranda both had parties to work that day, and since Maddie had no school she opted to stay home and invite Lux over to hang out. Their last conversation had left her feeling somewhat...concerned. So she got out lots of snacks and drinks and she pulled out board games, and tried to make the home, her room in particular, as warm and welcoming as she could. She wanted Lux to feel safe. As Maddie was neatly stacking board game boxes, she heard a knock on the door and excitedly went to answer, to find Lux standing outside. She let Lux in, who dumped her bookbag on the floor and then collapsed face down into the couch, moaning.

"Um..." Maddie said, "...are you okay?"

"no," Lux said, muffled, "i'm not."

"I have board games, and food," Maddie said, "I thought we could play games and-"

Lux rolled her head to face Maddie, who sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch, their eyes locked.

"What is it?" Maddie asked.

"i heard my parents talking," Lux said.

"And?" Maddie asked.

"...and they said they wished it'd been me," Lux finished, shrugging, her eyes completely cold, "so there's that."

                                                                            ***

Helena was in her office when John entered, shutting the door behind him. She smiled as he sat down across from her and she put her pen down, giving him her full attention. Since taking over, John had been the one real holdout, and they hadn't had much of a chance to speak, but not because she hadn't tried. He was just so resistant to her leadership. John sighed and crossed his legs.

"Sorry for not making an appointment," he said.

"You don't need an appointment, John," Helena said, "I appreciate you thinking you do though. What can I do for you?"

"What can you do for me, gee, that's the question," John said, chewing his lip, clearly being flighty, "uh, well...this is...this is gonna be...um...okay. I have a daughter. She's in her late twenties, but...but she's mentally disabled from an accident when she was a child, she's got the mentality of a very young child. Anyway, she loves to play dress up. When I go to visit her, it's one of her favorite things to do. I was thinking that maybe, ya know, under a diversity hiring initiative, we could bring her in and have her work - with me at her side, of course - for other mentally challenged kids."

Helena cocked her head, thinking for a second. She didn't know John had a daughter, but she did love how dedicated to her he appeared to be, it was very sweet. Helena looked around her office, picked up her mug of coffee and took a long drink before putting it back down and sighing.

"No," she said.

"...excuse me? Just...no, just like that? Not even a discussion?" John asked.

"Work isn't a democracy, John, we don't get together and have labor relations," Helena said.

"Actually, that's exactly what work is when there's a union involved, so I suppose maybe that's where I'll have to start," John said sternly.

"John," Helena said, "trust me, you don't want this."

His brow furrowed, both in confusion and annoyance. What the hell did that mean? Her tone made it sound like she had some previous experience with this sort of thing, whether it was personal or adjacent, and he wanted to pry, to ask questions, but instead he just balled his hands into fists and bit his lip.

"It would mean so much to her, please," John said, trying not to cry, "she's in that room so much, and sure there's other people like her where she lives, in this hospital, but...but it isn't the same. Nobody but me will play dress up with her. Aren't you familiar with the phrase 'think of the children'?"

"Aren't you familiar with the phrase 'don't shit where you eat'?" Helena asked, causing John to recoil in surprise; she was so brisk, so very stern, and he wasn't used to that in a boss. Course, he was also used to being his own boss most of the time, so. John leaned back in his chair again and tried to relax.

"Who fucking hurt you?" John asked, taking Helena by surprise.

"Excuse me?" she asked, half laughing out of shock.

"You heard me," John said, "because guess what, this is the kind of response that is only warranted by being hurt badly, so I would like to know who fucking hurt you. I'll tell you who hurt me, who did this to my daughter, if you wanna share equally, but I'm not leaving here until you give me a concrete answer as to why you can't let someone have something that would make them, and a child, happy."

Helena nodded slowly. She had to admit, she admired John for being so strong willed, but...did she really want to get into this with him? Did she really want to talk about Adam?

                                                                         ***

Alexis and Rick were sitting outside the grocery, in the back, where the loading trucks dropped things off and picked things up. They were seated on a stack of pallets, watching people load and unload the trucks as they shared a sandwich and drink Alexis had bought inside the grocery. As Rick finished his half, Alexis laid her head on his shoulder, and made him blush.

"I didn't know you were out," Alexis said.

"Why would you, it isn't like we kept in touch," Rick said.

"You seem to be doing well, you have a job and-"

"I'm still using," Rick said, "if that's what you're after knowing. I just decided to leave the hospital. Felt my efforts had run their course. Especially without you there, I mean, I just felt so alone. That...I'm sorry...that wasn't an attempt to guilt you, I'm just trying to explain my line of thinking. Uh...you look amazing, by the way, you're still..."

Rick and Alexis looked at one another, noticing nothing else around them. Alexis smiled warmly as Rick struggled.

"...you're perfect," he whispered, scratching his forehead, "fuck, I'm sorry, I'm not as smooth as I was before, I feel like, I don't know, maybe I'm more anxious or something. Then again, maybe you're just SO beautiful that I can't help but be nervous around you."

Alexis laughed, and for the first time in months, it felt genuine. So much of her emotions since release from rehab had felt so forced, so manufactured, but laughing with Rick...that felt real. Alexis gripped his other hand tightly and squeezed as they watched two young men drop an entire crate of glass soda bottles and start yelling at one another.

"I still have your cigarette," Alexis said, "I can't bring myself to smoke it."

"Waiting for the end of the world?" Rick asked, smirking, making Alexis chuckle.

"I just like having a part of you, since I..." Alexis started, before stopping, blushing and looking away, stammering, "uh...since I can't have all of you."

Rick blushed back. In all his years of dating, he'd dated some great women, and some of those girls had liked him a lot, but Alexis was different. She was enamored with him as much as he was with her. That was always the problem, it seemed, was more often than not Rick was the one more invested in the relationship than whoever he was interested in. But that clearly wasn't the case here, and it was nice to have that interest reciprocated for a change.

"You still doing parties?" Rick asked, and Alexis nodded.

"Mhm," she said, taking a bite from the sandwich and chewing before continuing, "yeah, I generally only get pool parties cause, ya know, pirate, but uh, but last week I was hired to actually attend a fully nautical themed party for a swim team at a middle school and that was actually pretty great. Lots of mermaids, sailors, they redecorated the whole gym in this, like, undersea motif and stuff. It was...it was spectacular. You know...you...you could come work with us."

Rick smiled but shook his head.

"Nah," he said, "I appreciate the gesture, don't get me wrong, but, uh...but I don't think it's good to entwine your life that way when you're with someone."

"Well there's this couple who works with me, these two women, and they seem happy working together and being together, I just thought, ya know, maybe if-"

"Alexis," Rick said and she shook her head.

"Don't," she said coldly.

"We're not a couple," Rick said, and she started breathing hard, trying not to cry; Rick sucked air through his teeth and rubbed the back of his neck, adding, "jesus, um...I didn't mean that in the sense that I don't want to be, you know? I would love nothing more than to be with you, you're everything I ever dreamed of. I still have that painting of you I did, and I hung it up in my apartment, and I look at it when I go home sometimes and I just..."

Rick started sniffling, his eyes filling with tears, Alexis turning her head to look back at him.

"...I miss you so fucking much," Rick said, "it's like there's this hole inside of me. This terrible, gaping chasm, like a sinkhole that opened up underneath a giant city and took everything with it, and there's no way to fill it back up because the only thing that might have been able to do that I can't have. The city planner wasn't prepared for this sort of disaster, sinkholes are rare in large metropolises after all. But I miss you. I miss you so much it physically hurts me. But I don't want to endanger you, or...or risk your sobriety. You deserve to be stable, and be with someone who can be stable with you, and I don't think I can do that."

Alexis turned on the pallet, crossing her legs and putting one arm over his shoulder, her other hand running up and wiping the tears from his face, making him smile as he closed his eyes and kept crying. Alexis leaned in and pressed her lips to his, and he happily kissed her back.

"Please," she whispered, resting her forehead against his, "please let me keep you. I can't walk away again."

"We can't do this," Rick whispered back, the both of them sobbing quietly together.

"...I don't know what hurts worse," Alexis said quietly, wiping her eyes on her shirtsleeve, "...the fact I can't have you, or the fact that you're the only person I've ever been with who cared enough about my sense of self to not risk it for your own selfish needs."

Alexis looked up at him again, their eyes meeting. Rick's golden eyes peered back at her, and she bit her lip. She felt his recently growing up in stubble on the palm of her hand and all she wanted was to take him home with her and keep him forever.

"I love you," she whispered, barely audible.

"I love you too," Rick said, "that's why I respect you enough to not ruin you with my addiction."

Alexis nodded and buried her head under his chin. He rested his head atop hers and rubbed down her back, comforting her. It was so nice. So so nice to feel his hands on her once again. To feel his warmth and his love. She just didn't want to leave, to let him go, to know that some other woman would likely end up having him. She wanted him. She wanted him all to herself.

"I just came to buy salsa," Alexis said, the both of them lauging.

                                                                            ***

Helena had gotten up and poured both herself and John a drink. She then leaned against the little bar she'd set up and sipped at her scotch while John just sniffed his, taking in the scent without drinking it. He was wary to go back to alcohol, even in a professional setting. After she finished, Helena exhaled and closed her eyes.

"John," she said, "when your daughter was in that accident, you felt that surge of fear shoot through you, didn't you? The belief that you'd lost the most important thing in your entire life. You know that fear well, don't you?"

"Absolutely," John said.

"But, you didn't lose her. She's hurt, but she's here. But imagine if she had died, just humor me, I know it's uncomfortable. Imagine she didn't survive. At least she died fast, and that doesn't mean the pain is any less intense, but it's all over so fast. Now, imagine if she hadn't gotten into an accident, but instead, she'd gotten sick. She'd gotten sick and you had to watch her die slowly over a prolonged period of time. Which do you think would genuinely be worse to deal with?"

"...the second, no question," John said, "having to watch her suffer, try to...to come to terms with what's happening t her, that would break me as a parent."

"Exactly," Helena said, taking another prolonged sip, smacking her lips, "...my son David, he wound up in the hospital because I took him to work. Trust me when I say you don't want to be the reason your child gets harmed. I recognize that your daughter is now an adult, but an adult with an asterisk, considering her prolonged mental issues and overall arrested development. Don't make things harder for her."

"I was trying to make things easier," John said.

"And you're a good father for that, game recognize game John, but...you're going to be taking a grown woman with the mentality of a child and putting her around actual children who, more often than not, are weirded out by that kind of behavior. There's a reason we built hospitals to keep these kinds of people in. It's because, societally, we can't accept them. It's disgusting, but it's a fact. I'm sure she's a wonderful little girl, I'm not at all passing judgment on her or anyone like her, I'm just saying that the adults at the party, and the kids at the party, will be confused."

John exhaled and nodded, knowing she was right. He turned the glass of scotch in his hand around and then shrugged, downing it in one fell swoop before wiping his mouth on his arm. A drink now and then didn't kill him. He stood up and headed for the door.

"John," Helena said, as he stopped, hand on the knob and turned towards her; she smiled warmly and added, "if you really want her to be somewhere, bring her here. Let her hang out with us. We'll be nothing if not accepting and understanding. And, hell, most of us are in costume all the time anyway. Might get her dress up wish after all."

John smiled weakly, nodded and then turned to exit when he stopped and looked back at Helena once more.

"How's your son now?" he asked.

"I visit him regularly," Helena replied, smiling. John nodded again, then finally exited. As soon as he left, however, the smile, the facade, dropped from her face and she sighed, scratching her forehead. Sure, she did visit him regularly. But that didn't make it any easier.

                                                                           ***

Lux and Maddie were laying on the floor of the living room, staring up at the ceiling.

They'd spent the afternoon snacking, playing games, watching some cartoons, just generally hanging out. Lilian and Miranda wouldn't be home until late and, from how Lux described it, she might not have to go home at all. Maddie thought she might ask Lilian if she could spend the night here. Lux slowly sighed and tossed her long perfect blonde hair from her face.

"...you know...I don't know that I ever loved my parents," Lux said, "I could always tell they loved my brother more than me, and I also knew that if I said anything about what he did to me most nights that they would never believe me. I'm so jealous when I see kids who love their parents and are having fun with them."

"Recently, my...moms, I guess...they took me to a museum to see dinosaurs, cause I think dinosaurs are cool," Maddie said, "and while we were there, I saw this mom there with a daughter a little younger than me and I got so sad. I have two amazing women raising me, and my dad is still alive, but...but learning that my own mom never even really wanted me...that hurts so bad that I can't help but dwell on it."

Lux reached over, arm outstretched, and held Maddie's hand. Maddie smiled a little. It was so nice to finally have a friend her age who understood.

"I am so glad he's dead," Lux whispered, "he's dead, and he can't hurt me anymore. I don't have to jump in fear every time my bedroom door opens now. I feel...safe."

Maddie nodded. She understood. She'd so grown to fear her mother during the time she had been poisoning her father that she knew full well what that feeling was like. The two girls lay there, each with their respective trauma, but each glad to have been bonded in spite of it. For the first time since she could remember, since the party really, Maddie felt like a kid again, and it was lovely. Sure, she and Lux were still mature for their age - anyone who went through what they did would have to be - but ultimately they were kids and it was nice to feel like a kid instead of a miniature adult.

"Thanks for getting my brother killed," Lux said, making Maddie laugh.

"Don't mention it," she replied, the both of them laughing now.